PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay!  Isn't it obvious?
Can't you people see the plain truth in front of
your face?  The chicken was going to the "other
side."  That's what "they" call it the "other side.
" Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.  And, if
you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes
with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
side."  That chicken should not be free to cross
the road.  It's as plain and simple as that.

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be
free to cross roads without having their motives
called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed
the road.  Someone told us that the chicken crossed
the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSAIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.  How
many more chickens have to cross before you believe
it?

FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossing the road reveals your underlying sexual
insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 99, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook--and Internet
Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.  What do
you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man.  The
chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample
him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said
unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road"  And the
chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?