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SGT Bill's Observations on Life
SGT Bill's Observations on Life
SGT Bill's Observations on Life December

YOUR FAMILY MIGHT BE A LITTLE TOO "HOOAH" IF ....


Your wife's two favorite shades of lipstick are light green and loam.
You go to a barbecue and insist that your family feed tactically.
Your children are required to clear housing before going "PCSing" to college.
You require your mechanic to replace the sandbags in your car's floorboard as a part of a tune-up.
Your mini van is equipped with blackout lights.
Your kids call their mother "Household 6."
Your kids use the "F" word at least five times in every sentence.
Your kids volunteer to pull Monitor Duty on the school bus.
Your doorbell sounds off with the current challenge and password.

Your Cellphone ringtone is "Revelle"
Your house has firing sector and distance sketches posted by every window.
You give the command "Fix Bayonets" at Thanksgiving Dinner.
Your kids show meal cards at the kitchen door, except the oldest, who is on separate rats.
You make your daughter sign out on pass on Prom Night.
Your kindergartner calls recess "smoke break."
Your wife "takes a knee" in the checkout line at the Food Lion.
You do your "back to school" shopping at the U.S. Cavalry store.
Your son fails the third grade but tells everyone he was a "Holdover"
Your kids salute their grandparents.
Your wife's "high-n-tight" is more squared away than your Commander's.
Your kids get a monthly LES for their allowance.
Your grandmother won "Squad leader of the year."
Your pickup has your name stenciled on the windshield.
Your older kids call the youngest one "Cherry."
Your kids recite their ABCs phonetically.
Your wife keeps extra MRE’s in the pantry
Your wife left you and you held a "Change of Command" ceremony.
You call your in-laws "those Staff pogues."
You and your kids sing PT cadence songs when traveling, just to pass the time....
Your dog's name is "Recon", or "Ranger"
You bum "dips" from your four year old daughter.
All your possessions are military issue.
You have pull-up bars outside your front door.
Your daughter's first haircut was a flattop.
Your kids pull fireguard.
Your newborn's first words were "Good to Go Sir."
You removed the lower branches from your yard's trees to clear your fields of fire.
You have an Ops calendar on the kitchen (CP) wall.
The standard command when you get in the family vehicle is "Count, off!"
You hold regular "Health and welfare" inspections of your kids' rooms.

Military Reaction to Snakes


•  Civilian: Runs away from the snake screaming.

• Paratrooper: Lands on and kills the snake.

• Armor: runs over snake, giggles, and looks for more snakes.

• Infantry: "Look, a putty cat. Come 'ere kitty....Ouch! Hey, that's not a putty tat."

• Army Aviation: Has GPS grid to snake. Can't find snake. Back to base for crew rest and the club and some sort of drink called "The Snake."

• Ranger: Plays with the snake, then eats it.

• 2nd Ranger: Assaults the snake's home and secures it for use by friendly snakes.

• MI: analyzes all available intelligence and national asset input on the reptilian situation; reports sighting of Godzilla to National Command Authority.

• JAG: Advises the snake on the rules of engagement and the law of war as it pertains to the snake and its defensive posture.

• Quartermaster: Captures snake and applies a National Stock Number (NSN) to it. Implements a Found On Installation (FOI) procedure and picks up snake on property book. Has company commander sign hand receipt for "Snake, Green, One Each," as non-expendable unit property.

• Chemical Corps: Starts to gas the little booger, but then realizes that there is an M-18, A-2 Respirator especially made for snakes, remembers the Chemical Corps Motto, "UTRWBAG" (Up Their Rear With Bugs and Gas), and conducts three experiments on it that have been strictly prohibited by the Clinton Treaty of 1999.

• Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition, several grenades and calls for naval gunfire in a failed attempt to kill the snake. The snake bites the SEAL then retreats to safety.

• Artillery: Kills snake, but in the process kills several hundred civilians with a massive TOT with three FA BDEs in support. Mission is considered a success and all participants (cooks, mechanics, clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.

• Marine Recon: Follows the snake and gets lost.

• Pathfinder: Guides the snake elsewhere.

• AF Fighter Pilot: Mis-identifies the snake as a Russian HIND helicopter and engages it with missiles. Crew chief paints a snake on airplane.

• AF Pararescue: Wounds the snake in first encounter, then feverishly works to save the snake's life.

• Green Beret: Makes contact with the snake, builds rapport, wins its heart and mind, then trains it to kill other snakes.

Courtesy of www.strangecosmos.com
www.strangecosmos.com

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