Dear Miss Box-holder 4848,
I was intrigued by your ad. Although I rarely venture out amongst the brutish hordes who haunt
the cookie-cutter chain restaurants and booze-drenched meat markets that pass themselves
off as social gathering places during these waning days of our civilization. I, too, am hoping to
meet that certain special someone to cuddle.
I differ from the common testosterone-pumping behemoth you might encounter in that I am at peace
with myself. I enjoy a quiet night at home with a good book, a roast chicken, and the toes of my two
well-formed feet comfortably wiggling about in my prized whirlpool foot massager. All I need is
the right woman to complete the picture.
I am a SWM, 48, svelte, with salt-and-pepper hair and intense good looks. I am magnetic, honest
(perhaps too much so) and of intelligence far above average. When you meet me, you will see that
these things are true. I demand much from myself and others. Some find me brusque, but inside I am
a warm, caring individual who merely, sadly, finds the majority of other people on the planet to be
exasperatingly slow-witted.
I am an educator by profession and a philosopher by temperament. I have never been married,
although I did co-habitate back in my "beatnik" days. We are still friends, although we have not spoken
in years.
At your leisure, please write to me at the address below. I hope to meet you soon to attempt intimacy.
Respectfully yours,
Anthony DeMartino