INT. LAWNDALE HIGH CAFETERIA: DAY
Daria is on line with her tray. Brittany picks one up. She shivers with disgust...
BRITTANY
Ugh! I hate it when the trays are wet!
DARIA
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
BRITTANY
Is that from a song? (Pause) Hey, thanks for helping me out in art.
DARIA
No problem.
BRITTANY
Maybe I could help you out with something...
DARIA
Well, you could show me how to twirl hair around my little finger and look vacant.
BRITTANY
I don't know if that's something you can teach...
They move down the line. Brittany starts to put a dish on her plate, but changes her mind.
BRITTANY
Ugh! I hate it when the pudding has skin!
DARIA
I know what you mean... and that scares me.
BRITTANY
Hey, even though I'm much more popular, we have some things in common.
DARIA
Breathing?
BRITTANY
I mean, you're not popular, but you're not so un-popular that you couldn't
come to my party Saturday night.
DARIA
Is that an invitation?
BRITTANY
Yes! Just this once, though.
DARIA
Gee, Brittany, I'm overcome with emotion.
BRITTANY
(helpful) You need a napkin? Anyway, I promised the other cheerleaders that
I wouldn't invite any more really attractive girls.
DARIA
Now I'm especially flattered.
BRITTANY
Don't mention it!
EXT. SIDE OF THE ROAD: DAY
Daria sits on the grass with Trent, next to the van. Trent is strumming an acoustic guitar
and humming. Cars whiz by occasionally. Daria can't think of a thing to say. She is
flushed and frustrated.
DARIA
What chord is that?
TRENT
G.
DARIA
Oh.
Trent is absorbed in his music. Daria tries to be cool, but can't help sneaking looks
sideways at Trent. Trent catches Daria staring at his skinny–yet well-defined–arm.
Daria tries to cover.
DARIA
Nice tattoo. Tribal?
TRENT
Maori. I copied it out of "Tattoo World"'s international issue.
DARIA
Very graphic. And... meaningful!
TRENT
(self-mocking)
Yeah. It makes a statement. You know what it is?
DARIA (V.O.)
(thinking this)
I got a tattoo out of a magazine?
TRENT
(aloud) "I got a tattoo out of a magazine."
They laugh a little.
DARIA
I guess it's better than trying to copy one off the TV.
Trent looks thoughtful.
TRENT
Daria, do you ever feel like maybe you are wasting your life?
DARIA
Only when I'm awake?
TRENT
Like, no money, no job, you live with your parents and you still can't play in open D tuning?
DARIA
(gently)
Well, I haven't had those exact thoughts...
TRENT
Maybe I will end up a townie doing Doors covers. I mean, who's to say, right?
They both contemplate this possibility.
DARIA
Um, you know, Trent, it takes a lot of guts to go after a dream. Especially when you know that failure
could mean spending the rest of your life playing "L.A. Woman". (beat) In public.
TRENT
Hmmmm... I guess.
DARIA
And even if it doesn't work out, at least for now you're doing exactly what you want to.
TRENT
Yeah, that's true.
DARIA
A lot of people never even get that far.
TRENT
I guess I'm not doing too bad. (beat) You know, Daria, sometimes it's hard to believe
you're in high school.
DARIA
I find the situation unbelievable myself.
TRENT
You're pretty cool!
DARIA
Thanks!
Daria smiles, but Trent doesn't notice since he has already gone back to his guitar plucking.
EXT. FRONT OF MORGENDORFFER HOUSE: DAY
Helen and Jake come out of the front door. Daria and Quinn trail behind.
One of the world's last functioning Volkswagen Bugs pulls up.
QUINN
What kind of car is that?
DARIA
That's not a car...it's a time machine.
Willow and Coyote jump out. They are definitely 60's. Coyote has gray hair, now cut short but still somehow hippie-ish, and a big handlebar mustache. He wears a leather fringe jacket, jeans, cowboy boots. Looks like a Doobie Brother. Willow has long, straight hair, and a loose Indian skirt and top. Think Peter, Paul, and Mary reunion concert.
HELEN
Willow! Coyote!
Quinn and Daria look at each other and roll their eyes.
WILLOW
Wowww...Helen...
COYOTE
Man...
Helen and Willow hug. Jake and Coyote give each other an elaborate soul handshake.
JAKE
My man!
The two couples face each other—as in a mirror, except for the fact that they don't look at all alike.
HELEN
You haven't changed a bit!
WILLOW
And you...well...just look at you!
Leary, a big scruffy German Shepherd wearing a red bandanna around his neck, jumps out of the car.
HELEN
Why...even Leary's exactly the same!
JAKE
C'mere, boy! Hey, fella!
The dog doesn't move.
JAKE
Don't you remember old Jake?
HELEN
Wait -- that can't be Leary. He'd be almost thirty by now.
WILLOW
This is Leary Number Three.
COYOTE
We had to replace the original a few times.
JAKE
If only you could do that with Timothy Leary, huh, man? Ha ha ha ha ha...
COYOTE
(seriously) They're working on it, man.
Helen realizes that Quinn and Daria are standing there.
HELEN
Well, these two are irreplaceable: our girls, Quinn and Daria.
Willow takes Daria's hand and makes meaningful eye contact.
WILLOW
You have a very old soul.
DARIA
It just looks mature for its age.
As Willow turns back to the adults...
QUINN
(to Daria) Is this a retro thing or are they serious?
JAKE
Let's get your bags, man...
Willow and Coyote are wearing khaki backpacks. Coyote points to his.
COYOTE
We travel light...
DARIA
(to Quinn) ...in the head. I gotta get out of here before I catch any more good vibes.
QUINN
Daria, you can't leave me here with those...those...Yuppies!
DARIA
Yuppies are from the 80's.
QUINN
So what do you call people with funny outfits who talk about peace and love and stuff?
DARIA
Trekkies.
INT. DARIA'S ROOM: NIGHT
Daria, Jane, and Quinn watch from the window as Trent goes off with Monique.
JANE
(to Daria) Don't worry. You're twice the woman she is.
QUINN
No, that would be a size 12. (beat) Listen, Daria, I always say that just because a guy
has a girlfriend, it doesn't mean he's off limits. (beat) Unless you're the girlfriend.
By you, I mean me, of course. (dead serious) Remember that.
DARIA
Mm. Got any more Pearl Drops of wisdom?
QUINN
Daria, all you need is a little confidence. Just close your eyes and imagine what you want.
Watch me.
Quinn closes her (perfectly made up) eyes.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. QUINN'S FANTASY ROOM: DAY
Quinn sits on a throne. The room is filled with roses. A dreamy guy kneels in "proposal position".
FANTASY DUDE
Quinn, looking into your mauve-lidded eyes makes me want to give you everything you've ever
desired. May I worship your heavenly perfection until the end of time? Or until you meet
someone better, whichever comes first?
QUINN
Uh...ok! Oh, and could you get me a soda? In a crystal goblet?
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. DARIA'S ROOM: NIGHT
Quinn comes out of her reverie.
QUINN
(dreamily) It's only a matter of time. (snaps out of it) Give it a try, Daria. Just use your imagination
and picture your dream, exactly the way it will be.
DARIA
Alright. But I don't trust you enough to close my eyes...
Close up of Daria's face. We go squiggly...
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. DARIA AND TRENT'S FUTURE FRONT HALL: DAY
"Older Daria" walks in the front door. We're fairly tight on her so we can't really see her surroundings.
DARIA
Trent, honey! I'm home!
WIDEN to reveal that Daria and Trent's future home is small, rundown, and shabbily furnished
In fact, the front door opens right into the living room, where Trent is lying on the couch.
He looks pretty much the way he did at 21, except that his hair is receding and he has a bit of a
pot belly. He looks up.
TRENT
Hey.
DARIA
Good day?
TRENT
(depressed) Not much happened.
DARIA
Don't worry, Trent. I'm sure Mystik Spiral is on the brink of success.
TRENT
(musing) We really SHOULD change the name...
DARIA
And I don't mind working double shifts at the gene splicing lab until you make it.
TRENT
Face it, Daria, we're never gonna get our big break. I gotta get a real job. Um, I'll need some
money to get my tattoo removed.
DARIA
Honey, we have to save right now. Trent Jr. needs glasses. Thick ones.
TRENT
Don't you understand? Every time I look at this stupid tattoo, it reminds me how I've wasted
my life! But I'm not giving up: I'm determined to lie here on the couch until things turn around.
DARIA
Oh, Trent. What ever happened to the man I married?
TRENT
We never GOT married, remember? I overslept.