Glass Angels
pov: Speed
Rating: PG-13, for slightly dark/sad theme
For adventdrabbles 1 Dec 07 and writers_choice topic: tree

The Christmas party was early this year, far too early for his liking. Speed stood back and watched as everyone joined in the festivities and decorated the departmental tree. He wasn't trying to be a grinch, he just wasn't in the holiday spirit at the moment, not after the case they just closed. Not after having to determine how and who brutally killed two little girls.

Calleigh came over and handed him a glass.

"What's this?" he asked, eyeing the thick liquid.

"Eggnog," she answered than gave him a sly smile, "doctored of course."

"All the better," he answered with a smile taking a sip of the rich creamy drink. A spiked drink is exactly what he needed to get through this party.

"Are you going to help H put the angels up?" Calleigh asked, being one of the few, besides Speed, who knew what the angels stood for.

He shook his head, wanting to say no, but they both knew he'd put at least two angels on the tree. One for each of the little girls from the last case.

It was a tradition he, Horatio and Alexx started a few years ago after a murder suicide that left the mother, father and two toddlers' dead a week before Christmas. Calleigh joined in the tradition after a particularly hard case for her. A hand blown glass angel for every child that passed through their hands.

Speed looked at the tree and watched Alexx and Horatio start to put the angels on. He shook his head, there were too many angels on the tree. He was tired of the growing amount over the last few years. It seemed like no matter how hard they worked to put the bad guys away, more took their place. He was angry and sad.

He looked down into the drink Calleigh brought him and sipped at it. If he didn't make eye contact with H or Alexx then maybe he could avoid joining them. For once their tradition was too much for him. Horatio would understand, there had been times he'd put the glass angels on for his friend and boss.

"It's your turn, honey."

Speed looked up at Alexx when he heard her voice. "I can't," he told her and looked away. She didn't understand. He'd been the first CSI there. He'd found them. They were "his" girls. He stood for them. Just in thinking that, he realized how much he sounded like Horatio. Woodenly, he repeated softly to himself, "I can't, I just can't."

"Yes, you can," Horatio said quietly holding out the angels. "For them."

Speed hadn't heard his boss approach but nodded and took the angels. He would do it for them, but god it hurt.