“Just say ‘grocery store,’ you moron!” he would mumble through a giggle and deck me with a stale loaf of bread. I’d kick him and we would turn back to our own thoughts. I was happy to work there but sometimes the customers would get under my skin. Derek, I think, felt the same although I do not want to pry into his thoughts.

One night we were both working on the frozen delivery, putting salmon steaks next to ahi tuna and vice versa. It was a harmonious fish array that was pleasant to the eye. We were occupied with the task at hand when he asked me a rather peculiar question:

“What is love?”

“Love? I don’t know, I mean, I guess it’s when you are always thinking about the person you are with—meaning, you always miss the other half when you are not together,” I replied. He seemed satisfied with the answer for a while and we were quiet. Then a customer came up to him and Derek went to his aid. I mulled over my answer. Is that what love is? What if it isn’t? What if love something completely different?

Derek came back and took another box to empty onto the shelf.

“Are you sure?” he asked and I could hear in his voice that it bothered him.

“No,” I said, this time with certainty.

“Then what is it?” he renewed his inquiry.

“I don’t know, pal. Love is probably not within our reach, at least not now,” I replied with more confidence. We resumed our silence. We were soon finished and left early because it was a rather slow night.
“C’mon,” I said. “Let’s go somewhere. I’ll buy you a drink.”

“All right, thanks, babe,” was his reply, fraught with giddiness because he was getting some free booze that night.

We put on our helmets. I had a 1970s European motorbike and Derek had recently made his last payment on a new reddish-silver Yamaha YZF-R1. Of course he could easily make me eat dust but I knew him better than that. We always rode side by side. It was comradeship. We rode for about twenty minutes before we turned into a parking lot of a dimly lit bar. Aren’t all bars dimly lit? We parked and walked in. Pistachio and peanut shells littered the floor while Orbison crooned on the old jukebox with a cracked glass cover. Derek liked rum and Coke so I bought it for him. I ordered a screwdriver. He sat there, tapping on the glass with one hand and peeling peanuts with another. A short woman with a Mayan face walked in, selling single roses to couples in the making. They were more like sad men making passes at half-drunk women. She came to our table too; maybe we’d buy some for our girlfriends or wives? Derek bought a few for his girlfriend, a pretty blonde with red lips. He kept looking at his glass. I ordered another round because I wanted rum and Coke this time.

“Hey, baby, wanna have some fun tonight?” An unpleasant prostitute approached me and I noticed the varicose veins on her legs.

“No thanks,” I replied, rather shirked away.

Man, I didn’t even want her to touch me. You understand me, I mean, she only had three teeth they were all rotten or crooked. I wasn’t interested in a gum job. She moved on. Derek looked up.

“I think you’re right. Love is when you think of someone who’s close to you all the time. You are missing all that is in that person and that hasbecome a part of you. I mean, I miss Kara when she leaves for Pennsylvania; that probably means I love her.”

“Well, does she know that?”

“Of course, I’ve told her, but I wasn’t sure. I mean, I am sure that I love her but I was not sure what love was, exactly.”

He sat with a mouth half-dipped in smile. I think he was happy that night, and it wasn’t the rum’s doing. We sat in the bar some more time but didn’t drink anymore. We sort of sat on its edge, watching the old harlot continue to make her rounds. Two drunk men were engaged in what was about to become a fight but neither of them stood a chance in fighting each other: they were too drunk. I lit a cigar and offered one to Derek but he waved it off. He was happy for the rest of the evening. I knew that when he would come home that evening, he would find his girlfriend asleep. He would embrace her and whisper “I love you.” Then he would look into that face and kiss her gently. But that would be later.

I paid the bill and we left. We already put on our helmets when he offered me his gloved hand.