YOU WANTED TO KNOW

My pen has ripped a hole through the paper 
Went to the other side 
It doesn't listen when I tell it to go on 
It simply quits 
And stares out, minute after minute 
It wants no part of me 
But wants to write its own creeds 
Too many pages to fill out on command 
Too many thoughts to have 

Today has just passed 
And I still am not dead 
And I still am oblivious 
To what's around and inside 

I want to be boiled 
Served with soft potatoes 
To a richly-clad countess 
Devouring every tender tendon 
I have to offer 
I want to be the main course 
Of a cannibalistic sumptuous repast 
To be shared 
To be served under the guidance 
Of a century-old wine 
Made from rotten grapes 
Like a true Russian 
I want to serve myself 
With a 0.75 of vodka 
And drown all my everything 
In a clear glass of nothing 
I want to sing with the Gypsies 
I want to sever all my lines 
And cross into the trite 
All's not so lost 
In bread and caviar 

I want to wail 
At the tide 
I would prefer 
To hold your hand 
I want to share my real soul 
Without any losing... 
Here it comes, get ready 
I've been forced out 
Of my soul 
By every misguided missile 
Directed straight into my face 
Please let it strike a gallop on a pilfered stallion 
Let it feed straight from my hands 
These hands, I think, know where it's lying 
The love 
The love 
The love 
But cannot catch it 
Because it goes from sight