Mental Relaxations
Journal
#1 June 15th
I can’t believe she’s
won again. All my life she
made it seem as if I were the crazy one. Like the time she dressed me beach
clothes and sent me off to school on a rainy day, and when confronted about
she lied and said I dressed myself.
She’s so deceptive. I
hate her, I hate everything about her, and my mom is the insane one. Since day one my mother has always
hated me, I can’t remember much, but the things that I can remember have to
be wrong. I know burning your child with cigarettes, and only allowing them
one meal a day can’t possibly be right, but I guess it is since I am the
one locked away. I didn’t ever
see myself as too much trouble for my mom, after all I was locked in the
closet most of the time.
Dear,
Aunt Luann
I
am writing you, because I desperately need your help. My mom thinks I should be put away
into a mental facility, because she can no longer handle my problems. But I think she is just
overreacting. I know sometimes
I forget who I am, and have a bad habit of stealing food from the table,
but I know that is no reason to put me away for good. I wish I could change, but I just
don’t know how to, so I am begging you to let me stay with you this summer,
so that I can let my mom cool off.
I hope this letter reaches you in time; otherwise, my life will be
ruined. My flight is scheduled
for June 15th 10:45, so I hope to see you at the airport, but if
not I’ll be in St. Helen’s mental ward, which isn’t too far from where you
live, Either way I hope you will help me get through these tough
times. I look up to you and
hope to follow in your footsteps someday.
Love
and hope to see you soon,
Sophie
Dear,
Luann
I’m
putting this in your hands now I can no longer deal with raising that
mentally ill brat. I’m tired of having my life burden by someone that will
have no future. I suggest you
lock her away, or do what ever you want, just keep her out of my sight. You
always said that you would take Sophie in, if I didn’t want to anymore, so
I’m shipping her off to you June 15th. I knew you would understand, and besides it’s my time to
shine.
XOXO,
Jamie
In
my mind I knew it was wrong, because I was not entirely truthful with my
intentions. My name is Luann
Ferguson, and for the first time in my life, I have to lie to a family
member of mine in order to get her the help she deserves. When I woke up this morning I felt
the feeling of both sadness and joy—my heart ached from these bittersweet
emotions; however, I knew that I must move forward with my mission.
It
was about 10:52 am and I still didn’t see my niece walk down the arrival
tunnel—my legs began to tremble.
However when I heard the words “Aunt Luann” from a light and soft
voice, a sense of relief was taken off of my shoulders. Once I saw my niece, I expressed to
her that I was glad to have her here with me for the summer. After I expressed my gratitude my
niece Sophie simply replied, “ Thank you for believing in me, were going to
have such a great summer,” however, a cold feeling of betrayal surrounded
my soul. Once I finally
finished hugging my niece, we went to baggage claim and I told her our
plans for the day. “So I see you still wear that pink ribbon I gave you 5
years ago Sophie,” “Yeah it gives me strength to go on each day.” “Why do you say that Hun?” “Well, I
want to be just like you, and now I have the opportunity to escape from my
mom for a while.” “Escape Sophie,
we will discuss this a little more after lunch.” After I asked Sophie where
she wanted to go for lunch we finally decided to get Italian food, because
she was craving a hearty meal, Italian was her favorite food, and the Olive
Garden was only 30 minutes away.
On
the drive to lunch my niece was extremely quiet, and I was surprised considering
the fact Sophie said she was excited to be here. To break the silence I confronted her about it, but when
asked about it, Sophie simply said, “I’m just thinking” What could she
possibly be thinking about? Once we pulled up to the restaurant my niece’s
eyes began to glow—I could tell she was glad to have me with her. After we parked, Sophie and I
walked into the restaurant to give our name for a table. After an hour or
so, Sophie and I were seated and we ordered, but when it was Sophie’s turn,
her lips began to tremble.
“Are you feeling ok Sophie” “ye-ye-ye yeah, why do you ask?” “Well
dear you haven’t gotten out a single word in regards to your order, would
you like me to order for you?” “Please,” “very well, waiter lets have two
orders of spaghetti with marinara sauce.” It was about one o’clock when our food arrived to the
table. Throughout our meal
Sophie and I didn’t talk much, but I couldn’t help but notice that she put
some of her spaghetti into her pocket, and began to smile mischievously—“Are
you enjoying your meal, Hun?”
‘Yeah it’s fine!’ at the end of our meal I ordered both Sophie and I
coffee to go, and we proceeded with the rest of our journey.
After lunch I took Sophie for a walk at the pier
before our scheduled trip to Target to try to catch up with her and see
what was going on in her life, but when I approached her about it she
didn’t reply. So I decided to
skip the chatting and finish up our trip by going to Target. After leaving the pier we headed to
Target, but there was tons of bumper-to-bumper traffic on the freeway due
to an oil spill on the other side.
After about an hour-long silent car ride, we finally arrived. While we were shopping I realized
that I was going to be pushed for time, because Sophie needed to go through
the check-in process. Once our shopping was done, I told Sophie that I
needed to pick up a few items from work; therefore, I scheduled a tour of
the facility, so that she would not be bored. The look on her face expressed pure excitement.
It
was about 6pm and Dr. James had finally returned. As usual, as I do for all of my patients, I asked how
Sophie took the news, and Dr. James expressed the following. “Sophie seemed to be happy about
being California’s roommate, and she didn’t seem upset about the being here
at all and surprisingly the chilly atmosphere didn’t bother her either;
however when I told her that she couldn’t hold on to any personal
possessions, she became hysterical. Sophie seemed to have had so type of an
attachment to an old distorted pink ribbon that was in her hair, and she
had a large amount of pasta in her pocket, but Mrs. Washington clamed her
down. Anyways I must be
getting home now have a great evening.” Thank you doctor, I simply replied. “Luann” Dr. James
called, “why did you decided to pair the two together,” well doctor the two
young teens don’t know how to let go of the past, so I figured they would
be perfect for each other.
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