Jacqueline Ramos

Departure

 

 

Leaving my wife after fifty - eight years of marriage and a great life together causes me an indescribable pain and strength that keeps me fighting against my cancer.

 

She doesn’t want me to leave and says, “When you leave, please come back for me soon.  All of our children have their spouse to live on with but I wouldn’t be able to live without you!”  Her pain causes my heart to ache.  Not being able to take her with me but God works in mysterious ways and has a purpose for doing so.  Once I depart from the physical world and onto the next I can confidently say that my children have something and someone else to live for.

 

I hate to be causing this pain on my loved ones and if I could go back in time…I would have never picked up my first cigarette.  After having nine children and numerous grandchildren and their children, I am tired and ready to rest.  Breathing with an oxygen tank, with every breath, hoping for my lungs not to collapse, I enjoy every moment spent with my family.  My lungs and ribs are covered with different types of cancer and it’s spreading.

 

The morphine given to me is slower process for my death.  It takes away my hunger and keeps me asleep.  At times, I feel that I am missing out on my last family gatherings.  Never before have I gone to bed early, before a party ending, nevertheless on my own birthday.  Laying on my bed still listening to the sweet melody being sung to … Cumpleanos feliz, cumpleanos feliz, cumpleanos feliz Memo, cumpleanos feliz!(Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday dear Guillermo, Happy birthday to you!. As I doze off, I can still hear them talk, their laughs brings warmth to my heart.  I know that this disease has changed my family completely.  They all seem to be more attentive toward my wife and myself.  It had been years since I’ve since all my family together.  Ninety two family members, all under the same rough for Christmas Eve was the greatest feeling that my children could have given me. 

 

My daughter Martha, my baby, treats me no different and doesn’t let my situation stop her from planning her new future.  It seems as though she’s avoiding the situation but she treats me the best and I am glad that she continues with her life, as they all should.  As a child she did give me a rough time but she has turned out to be the most unselfish daughter, whom is always willing to give.  I wonder what she’s feeling….

 

Martha now lives in Arizona while her father lives in California.

 

I remember thinking my father was this great big giant.  He would get home from work and my sisters and I would run toward him, he would extend his arms out straight, while we hanged from his arms and he walked around the yard ‘til we were too tired to keep holding on to him.  I would look up at my father and see this six foot four inches of man; he had big beautiful ears, great big hands, amazing green gray eyes and the greatest loving heart in the world. 

 

To see the man who my father was, to whom he is now is unbelievable.  He weighs one hundred pounds; he has shrunk to five feet six inches.  He can’t stand up for too long but still makes us laugh with his dancing moves.  He still tells jokes and compliments my sister – in – laws of being beautiful.  Till this day my father remains a gentleman, one of a kind and hard to find. 

 

He has always blessed me with his moral support and strength to help me build a future of my own.  When my daughter was ill with cancer, my father was one of the few persons who dedicated a lot of attention and helped me to be optimistic.  When my son was in jail, my father accompanied me to visit him.  Above all things, my father has always been an exceptional man.  He has been a father not only to those whom he procreated but to my nephews whose fathers walked out of their lives.  My Daddy thought of and makes his family priority.  Being an immigrant from Mexico, he has successfully educated nine children, without being able to read or write and having lost partial ability to hear from

 his left ear. 

 

I never thought that I would be taking care of my Daddy as he one day took care of me.  Months have passed by and his health is deteriorating.  He hasn’t gotten out of bed, eaten or drank anything in three days.  He has no strength to chew his food; I give him drops of water and wet his lips.  The morphine is given to him every two hours, he is in and out of consciousness, and he moans but still recognizes me.  My poor Daddy is still is a gentleman, ‘til his last days, he refuses for any of his daughters to change him.

 

As days go by, I know my Daddy’s life is slipping through all of our fingers and there is nothing we can but make it as “comfortable “ and “pleasant” for him as he starts his journey to God.

 

It’s such a beautiful morning!  A bright sun, chirping birds at my dad’s window and warmth in the room hard to describe.  Today my Daddy isn’t opening his eyes….. His breathing is irregular, he has the “death gargle” the nurse had explained to me. 

 

He opens his eyes and whispers,”I Love you…..take care of your mom”……..  His breathing became slower, he closed his beautiful green gray eyes and had a grin on his face.  I am happy to see that my Daddy isn’t suffering any more pain and that he is going to a place where pain and suffering don’t exist, where he will be at peace and looking over his entire family.