Birth of another Icon
My heart is both sad and filled with a great deal of lust. For the beginning
of the 21st. century has brought about the death of another iconic fixture or two. I refer to the death of the
''Uberbabe'' and the ''Alpha Female''. To be honest both terms ''Uberbabe'' and ''Alpha Female'', are not recognized scientific
terms.
However when Heidi Klum or Tyra Banks walks into a room, the meaning of 'Uberbabe'
becomes abundantly clear. Whereas one look at most super models inspire the need for sexual gratification in most men, it
does not on a consistent basis inspire the desire to procreate. Posts, do not produce, the best of children.
As for the 'Alpha Female's' in our midst. If you were to refer to—let
us say—Hillary Clinton, Condoleezza Rice, Madeleine Albright or even a Janet Reno as an 'Uberbabe'. People would wince,
hell, I would wince. These women do not inspire the afore mention need for sexual gratification. Except maybe for Condie in
the right light with the proper amount of libation. However these women some how inspire the overwhelming desire to procreate
in most men. I do not know how, but a man honest with himself, must admit that their intelligence and accomplishments do say
something. Mostly what it says is, why can't that mind and drive for excellence be in Tyra Bank's body.
The simply answer was genetics, or so we thought. But thanks to what I am
calling the great desegregation of the world. We in the west have been introduced to a new species of women. Women with brains
and beauty and really really great athletic bodies, who do not think sex is a bad thing. Because the Women's Tennis Association
is the only organization truly qualified to apply the proper designation to this newly discovered classification of women.
We turned to the them to help us properly classify and designate this newly discovered magnificent entity.
For those of us who are fans of Women's tennis. We are quite familiar with
the WTA's ability to properly classify and designate newly discovered species of female athletes. When Chris Everett and Tracy
Austin came along in the late 70's and early 80's, and we were introduce to the Genus—Homo, Species—Homo Sapientbabe,
Classification—'Tennis Babe'. Which simply meant they were very feminine tennis players who could win and looked considerably
better than—let us say—the not so feminine Billie Jean King. Again I wince. This era also spawn a sub classification
of the 'Tennis Babe', known as the 'Onjwab”. They had all of the attributes of the former except they just never seem
to win anything. Thus distinguishing themselves as Olivia Newton Johns With A Backhand.
Or 'Onjwab'.
Soon after the 'Tennis Babe' was all the rage. Martina Navritolova and Stephi
Graff ushered in the Genus—Homo, Species—Homo Sapienubabe, Classification—'Uberbabe'. Let's just say they
were not as feminine or beautiful as Chris or Tracy, but they were very physically fit women who won and won and won. Now
I will not wince at these two, simply because Stephi in my humble opinion is quite the striking mature woman. Worthy of 'Uberbabe'
status in more ways than one.
During the 'Uberbabe' reign in tennis a sub classification of 'Big Babe'
tennis was born. Basically your very healthy type woman, who can just strike the hell out of a tennis ball. A healthy woman
in tennis terms, means a woman who has met more than a few cookies, she could not say no to. With Lindsay Davenport being
the poster child for this sub classification, some would wince. But for me, every time I see Lindsay. I think to myself, that's
a lot of woman in need of some serious satisfying. Some serious satisfying.
As the 'Origin of Species' would have it, these women were destined to be
the fore mothers to a new breed of female tennis player. These women paved the way for our new species of women, if not in
actual genetic material, then in inspirational ways. Which brings me to the woman, who in at least tennis terms, was the transitional
breed to the new species of female tennis athletes.
That woman being Anna Kournikova. When Anna burst on the tennis scene she
defied classification. She had supermodel looks, a very athletic physically fit body which did not lack femininity, and a
tennis game that consistently got her to at least the quarter finals in most tournaments. To cap it all off, she was very
sensual and not afraid to let the world know it. Thus she begged for a new classification of female tennis player, female
athlete. Hell, who are we kidding, she begged for a new classification of woman. With the WTA being an old hand at, classification
and the proper designations of such entities, they did not shy away from the challenge. They classified and designated her,
and all of those who would follow in her footsteps.
With no further adieu, I give you the Genus—Homo, Species—Homo
Sapienova, Classification—'Alpha Babe'.
By B. Bell
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