The Californian Route to becoming a
Tangentially Infamous
Person.
Once again, I will state for the record that California should
change their state motto to the Tangentially Infamous State. Why? You ask. Because in California you are just one double murder
away from becoming a Tangentially Infamous Person.
Only California could produce the likes of Kato Kaelin and Amber
Frey. Which begs this question. Is there something in the water in California or is there something more deliberate taking
place? Such as classes being taught in their school system, like “Tangentially Infamous for the neophyte”.
I would imagine in order to get a “A” in the class you must find the most degenerate celebrity at your school
and endear your self to him or her. Just waiting for the moment they commit some heinous act. So complete strangers can constantly
question you on such inane things, as just how much toilet paper did you use to wipe their ass. But you don’t mind as
long as your name is spelled correctly, and people whisper your name, when you enter the room. After all it is not the quality
of the 15 minutes that count, it is the fact that you have them. The highest honor for people like Amber and Kato is when
they bask in the glow of others achievements or heinous acts. Minor celebrity is still celebrity. Just what are they teaching
the kids in California, more importantly what are they teaching the women in California?
If I may digress for a moment and take a personal aside. Have
you noticed that California has a knack for turning out Tangentially Infamous well educated women with low self esteem issues.
Women such as Chandra Levy, Monica Lewinsky, and even Laci Peterson. How such well educated attractive women can settle for
married or playboy type men. Who have such questionable character when it comes to the treatment of women----puzzles me. If
California is going to turn out women like this, they should place an ad on their official state website. Under state assets
it should say.
“For men who want to have their cake and eat it too.
Come to California for your wife. Our women are attractive, well educated, low self esteemed, and possess all the qualities
of a Bic lighter. Yes, they are highly useful. You can keep them in your pocket, and when they are all used up, you can dispose
of them. (Warning: please use lawyers to properly dispose of women. Improper disposal of women may result in the death
penalty). Here in California we practice what we preach. Take a look at our Governor and his lovely wife. Maria
is a well educated woman with plenty of money of her own, she has a solid career and is very attractive to boot. Her husband
is a serial physical sexually harasser of women. And if you believe the tabloids (wink, wink), much more. Yet we elected him
Governor, and his wife is by his side, smiling adoringly at him. Apparently she only cuts him off when he makes political
speeches she does not like. But hey, with so much low economic trash around, willing to spread it for next to nothing, who
cares. Here in California we are proud of what our women become. Doormats!!”
I don’t know about you guys, but they had me at attractive
and low self esteemed. Whew, that was quite an aside and one long digression. So back to the subject at hand, 15 minutes of
infamy.
I don’t want to give people the wrong impression
about everyone’s 15 minutes of fame. After all I hope to have my 15 minutes of fame someday. It is just that I want
my fame to come from some act of integrity. Well, now that I think about it, my way is to hard. I need a simpler route. The
Californian route. Does anyone know if Tom Seizmore, Nick Nolte, Heidi Flesis or Shannen Doherty need a glorified pool man
or ass kisser. Because I am pretty sure one of them is just one drunken drug induced double homicide E! True Hollywood Story
away from making me a Tangentially Famous Person. Whoops that’s a Tangentially Infamous Person.
By B. Bell
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