The
Obama Saga: To ER is Republican.
The head of the Republican party delivered the commencement speech
for the first graduating class of students who have received their advance ER degrees. He title his speech, 'The Obama
White House: How the Republican party will fight the good fight against Truth, Justice and the Obama Way.' Seated behind him
in support of the graduating class were professors Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, Michele Malkin, Michele Bachmann
and the honorable Sarah Palin.
He started his lofty praised of the ER graduates with the Birthers. He pointed out that their dedication
to proving that Obama was not born in the US is one of the most important endeavors of the 21st century. He cited their theory of the 'Immaculate Birth Certificate'
as one of the greatest advances in the field of Birther studies. He contended that as more and more classes graduate they
will create enough theories, to fill a small library, to explain how Obama faked his American birth certificate.
He spoke with pride as he talked about all the things
the Paliners have learned to do and will
do. He was astounded by the power of the now infamous Palin Wink and the equally powerful Palin Nod. Their ability to make
old White men weak in the knees and the brain has become the stuff of legend. He also thought that anyone who can learn how
to turn the old axiom of 'Quitters never Win and Winners never Quit' into 'Money is Scoreboard' is a very valuable asset to
the Republican party.
He was truly proud of the Paliners but their was a little
something in his voice when he discussed the virtues of the all male class of Tea Baggers. Their skills at throwing the most festive and well coordinated
Tea bagging parties is something he will marvel at and enjoy for the rest of his life. He told the audience that to experience
Tea Bagging is to experience life as it should be. He remarked that if the skilled Tea Baggers could incorporate some of the
skill sets of the Paliners. The infamous Palin wink and nod which is known to make old White men weak in the knees and the
brain. They could dominate in a liberal city like San Fransisco, the strong hold of one Nancy Pelosi. He is sure they could
convert many of its citizenry to the Republican team, one Tea Bagging party at a time. He punctuated that with a Don't ya
know! Which brought the audience to their feet with applauses.
He had great praise for the Gunners. He believe that their dedication and love of guns is
something more Americans should participate in. In fact he thought that their seminar on how to make love to your gun without
blowing your dick off, is something that should be taught in the public schools. “What is the harm” he said, “after
all they are teaching safe sex in the public schools against our wishes anyway.”
He could barely contain his glee when he started to discuss
those with Racer degrees. It was his belief that every Republican young and old should learn Racer Speak. RS for short is the art of racist
non racist speak. He explained that the dyed in the wool racist rhetoric of yesterday, is just down right passe, as he put
it. So those in the Republican party must learn how to be effective subtle racist. The art of the subtle racist is something
that he believes this nation needs, because someone's culture has to be inferior. He added there is no need to deal the racist
card when you always have one or two tucked into your sleeves. Again the crowd rose to their feet with thundering applause.
After the applauses settle down he said that the Foxer degree is probably the second
most important of all the degrees, because of its difficulty to master. He explained to the audience that the act of Foxing
is a very difficult thing to do on a daily basis. To be able to twist the truth and out right lie to the American public under
the guise of a legitimate news source. Is something a decent human being could not pull off effectively on a daily basis.
But after you've learned how to properly sell your soul to the devil, anything is possible he added. He believes the class
motto of 'If ain't Yellow it's not Journalism', is something more news organizations should adopt.
Because they have mastered all of the ER's, he saved
his greatest praise for the class of Indoctrinaters. He feels that since Obama likes to speak in code to certain types of children. Secretly telling them
to stay in school, and that if they fail they should not give up, but try again until they succeed. Is not a good thing for
the mostly White Republican party. He pointed out that if those certain types of children not only have someone telling them
that they can succeed, but an actual role model who looks like them, that succeeded. That it will mean less jobs for their
children and also themselves, who have been relying on their certain skin color to succeed for over a century. He told that
audience that a level playing field is no place for any one to compete, just look at the highest paying sports. He asked how
would you like for your children to have to compete for the highest and most prestigious jobs in this nation—on a level
playing field?
He said that the Indoctrinaters are the vanguard for the Republican
party. That the Indoctrinaters are charge with stopping Obama from telling and teaching his followers to stay in school and
to achieved. With such tools as the Birther conspiracy theories, the Palin wink and nod, the Racer Speak and the all powerful
Foxing techniques they are uniquely qualified to achieve this goal.
As the head of the Republican party he told the audience
that he has never been so proud of a group of old frighten White men. For they have dedicated themselves to the greatest cause
of the 21st
century. The complete and utter failure of the Obama administration at all cost. Even if it means the destruction of America
