For those Beer Conservatives who seek righteous salvation from their beer on a daily basis, they go through several stages of self delusion every night. We will discuss these stages of self delusion and how they have lead to the skewed view of the world. That most Beer Conservatives have and spew as if gospel.

The 1^st stage of the Beer Conservatives self delusion is that of braggadocios. When in large groups the slightly intoxicated Beer Conservatives like to believe they are the best at everything. It does not matter what the activity is. If you were to walk among them in this early stage of intoxication, you would swear you were in the present of great men who have achieved many great things in their lives.

However the small game on the grill, the beer gut, and the wife beater reveals the true nature of the Beer Conservatives. Among their peer group they are many great things or as life would have it. They would be many great things if some Liberal had not taken some crucial thing away from them at some point in their drunken lives. They start every rant with “I could have been 'X', If some nameless Liberal who was not as talented and did not work as hard as them did not steal their opportunity.” Being hung over and slightly drunk all the time tends to make Beer Conservatives think they are put-upon by all of society who is not like them. They drink a little more to ease the pain of their perceived injustices.

This leads to the 2^nd stage of self delusion for the Beer Conservatives. This is the point where the Beer Conservatives turn into likes to fight guys. You know likes to fight guys. They gather together in their depressed intoxicated state. Bitching and moaning more than any woman could. At some point during the pity party they seek to beat up someone not in their peer group. This is when they venture out to find someone who has a mental horizon beyond hunting, beer drinking, and scratching their balls.

Upon encountering one of these people, usually a Liberal, who understands and appreciates art, music, respect of others and the law. They commence a gang beat down, simply because a one on one confrontation would leave them at a great disadvantage. After completing such a great deed of manliness, they seek to further boost their egos by calling their victims weak, girlie men and other such insults to mask their own inadequacies.

You would think this would be enough solace for the likes to fight Beer Conservatives. But it is not, to prove they are real men they travel home to the well provided for wife. Where upon entering the single wide they seek to prove they are real men. This usually takes the form of a fist or two to the loving wife. Who he steadily accuses of wanting to live with a girlie man who will treat her as an equal. How he hates a woman with brains and enough toughness to achieve things greater than him in a Beer Conservatives world.

After exhausting his testosterone on small game, girlie men, and women. He slides into the 3^rd stage of self delusion. This is the point where he grabs another domestic beer taking solace in the fact, that the beer is like him. Local in production and non imaginative. He sobs and asks his beer. Why me? While cursing all those who are different, as he drifts off to sleep, to dream of a better tomorrow. Free of non Beer Conservative people. Because in that world he can be great.

Now because we Liberals realize that it takes all types of people to make a society strong. We know at different times in a society's history. Some talents will be worth more than others. When one talent is needed more than another, we reward that person with the needed talent. Some talents are always in demand, for those who have them, their reward will be constant and strong. For those who talents are needed intermittently, you shall receive what you deserve at that time.

We Liberals know these things to be a simple truth. So we do not hate you as you hate us. We do not fear you as you fear us. For we know you are a part of what makes us strong as a society. So be as you are and have a great life.

By B. Bell

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