Sarah
Palins List Of Top Ten Lists
Top ten things Sarah
will do with her expanded Vice Presidential Power
10. Have the official Vice Presidential song changed to “Vice
vice President”. Song by Vanilla Ice.
09. Have Flavor Fav open up the Senate with “Boyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz”.
08. Reinstate burning witches at the stake.
07. Have Dr. Dre produce her rap album, 'Straight out of Wasilla'
with her rap group EWA (Eskimo's With Attitudes).
06. Start the adopt an oil rig program.
05. Have T-shirts made that say: “I like the smell of gunpowder
in the morning. It smells like a wedding”
04. Demand that her Secret Service code name be 'Chocolate Mayberry'.
03. Have a porn movie made based on her life called “Drill
Me Baby, Drill Me Now”.
02. Spear head the 'Evolution is for Pussies' movement.
And the number 1 thing Sarah will do with her expanded Vice Presidential Power is..........
01. Have her picture e.g. to MILF in the Oxford English dictionary.
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Top ten reasons Sarah is happy to be away from John McCain.
10. People at rallies will stop referring to her as Goose.
09. No more old guy farts in close quarters.
08. She will not have to separate the Viagra pills from the Vicodin
pills for the McCains anymore.
07. No more traveling in the lesser 48.
06. She will have the vanity mirror and the Gucci clothes all to
herself.
05. No more reminding John that she grew up watching Hogan's Heroes.
04. She no longer has to kiss babies with such common names like
Peter, Mike, Carl and Jennifer.
03. She can finally answer the call of the wild, and go and kill
something.
02. She can put "Drill Baby Drill!!", back in the bedroom where
it belongs.
And the number one reason Sarah is happy to be away from John McCain is..........
01. John will stop asking why writers are always misspelling the
word milk when writing about her.
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The top ten reasons
McCain is happy to be away from Sarah Palin
10. No more, “does my butt look big in this skirt.”
09. Sarah starting every story with. “When I was Mayor of Wassila.”
08. Sarah will stop asking him to hit her ass with a little
hair spray.
07. No more Sylvan learning professionals on the plane.
06. Doesn't have to buy a gift for that damn wedding.
05. Tired of props that talk, cry and poop.
04. Todd constantly chatting up the show Swingtown.
03. Cindy has stopped asking who is prettier.
02. The same old five child birth stories.
And the number 1 reason McCain is happy to be away from Sarah Palin is.............
01. No more listening to Sarah refer to her Manolo Blahniks
as "My prec--io--us"
All by B. Bell
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