Average
like You!
After the failure of the America people and the supposedly educated people of the media to
understand the context and the socio-political truth of his San Francisco remarks. Barack Obama has decided to start portraying
himself as an inarticulate person who lacks intelligence. He could never use those words in public now because he realizes
that inarticulate and intelligence are the types of words that might send people to their dictionary to look up their meaning.
If that happens there is a chance they may stumble across the word elitist, and that is a risk he simply cannot afford. He
is convinced that the only course of action that will allow him to be President is to portray himself as a everyday very average
kind of guy. In order to achieve this goal, his campaign has come up with a strategy.
For the average Black folks, Barack plans on giving speeches in the poorer neighborhoods
of America. Where he will using the Ebonics of the day, encourage young Black men to drop out of school and fornicate like
rabbits. He will of course use the appropriate “f” word during the speech. After the speech he will walk into
a local store and purchase a forty. Then he will exit the store with his forty in a paper bag and proceed to drink it on the
corner with some gang bangers as they regale him with the stories of them exercising their 2nd amendment rights.
No elitist here, just another brother hanging with his homies. Living the life all Black folks dream of.
As for the average White folks. Barack plans on denouncing the words of Dean Vernon
Wormer in the harshest of terms. Not only does Barack now believe that Fat, drunk, and stupid is a way to go through life. He believes
that White folks can do better! He believes White folks should strive for ISP status! He believes if you can go through life
Ignorant Stupid and Prejudice. Then he can help you reinforce your sentiments, that all of your problems can be blamed on
someone else.
Barack will point out that the reason that Detroit's auto industry died. Is not because of
the low gas mileage, poor quality cars that were made in the late 70's. Rather it was because the Japanese were, well, Japanese.
And the reason you lost that promotion to a Black man with a degree is not because he has a degree and you don't. Rather it
was because of affirmation action.
Obama will promise to help you with these things. Because he knows how hard it is to compete
on a level playing field. When you are going through life fat, ignorant, stupid, prejudice and drunk. Barack wants all persons
to know that a vote for him is a vote for your dream. For Black folks to stand on a corner sipping a forty while complaining
about the White folks. And for White folks to sit in their corner offices pulling down 50k a year while complaining about
supporting the lazy Black folks.
Barack Obama is sure he can work with these old paradigms to become the President of the
United States. Because if he knows nothing else. He knows that thanks to the sitcoms and the pandering media. There is one
type of Black man that is accepted the world over. That being a Black man who wears his lack of intelligence like a fine Italian
suit.
By B. Bell
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