After Hillary Clinton's come from behind upset of Barack Obama, the Clinton campaign believe they have discovered the winning formula to win the presidency. Crying! The campaign believes that the reason she won last night is because, like Sears, she showed the New Hampshire people her softer side. Hillary Clinton honestly believes that now that she has shown America that she can cry. People will find her more likable and some will even stop referring to her as an unlikable woman. So with that in mind, today Hillary Clinton announced that she will start her 'The Crying for you America', presidential campaign. With the k.d Lang/Roy Orbison duet version of 'Crying' as their theme song.

Now Hillary Clinton is well aware that she is not a natural crier like most women. So she has decided to consult some of the best known criers of her generation. This she believes will be a win win situation for her and her campaign. Even though one of those famed criers is dead, they both have, and still to this day enjoy popularity with the religious community. Hillary has always said you should never underestimate the herd mentality of the evangelistic.

She has sought the advice and counseling of Jimmy Swaggart. His I have sinned against you type of speech coupled with heavy tears is the kind of crying scene Hillary wants to be able to pull off when the going really gets tough. For the everyday drop of a hat type of crying she is going to go to the video tape. The video tape of Tammy Faye Baker crying. With Hillary's ability to talk to the dead and channel them, like she does with Eleanor Roosevelt. She believes with the help of Tammy Faye Baker she will become the teary eyed crying master known as Clinton-sensei.

So helpful has the research been. That they believe they have come up with the perfect strategy the next time the boys are ganging up on her in a debate. She will raise her hand and head to the heavens, form a fist with the raised hand and say. “Don't cry for me America, for they know not what they are doing.” She will then lower her hand back to the podium and look out into the audience. With a quivering lip and running mascara, she will softly state. “I am not an unlikable woman. I am likable. America! I am likable!” She is pretty sure with this approach the boys will never attack her again with a harsh word. Because she will cry havoc and unleash the tears of sway on their misogynist ways.

She plans on working her I am crying for you America into a very powerful speech. She will point out that Barack Obama wants to change things for you, but can he, or is he willing to cry for you? She thinks not, because crying will make him seem weak. Where as crying for her, makes her look presidential. Hillary believes she can muster up a tear for every problem in America. If you have just broken a nail, tell her about it, she will cry for you. Having a bad hair day, tell her about it, she will cry for you. A Black man trying to take your job, tell her about it. In that case, she will cry with you. She has already dubbed this the “I have a tear” speech.

In fact there is so much crying that needs to be done in America that she announced that she is forming an organization that will be headed by her husband called, a 1000 Tearful Criers. She believes with Bill in charge it will dwarf all the accomplishments of the 1000 points of light. She also took this time to point out once again that when you elect her to the presidency, you get two Clintons. Bill who will feel your pain. And she, who will cry for you!

By B. Bell

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