My Third List, of Top Ten Lists

The Top Ten Witticisms of the Bush Administration.

The Top Ten Things Scooter Libby will do with his Commuted sentence.

The Top Ten Real Reasons Karl Rove is resigning.

The Top Ten Activities of Alberto Gonzales in Retirement.

The Top Ten Witticisms of the Bush Administration are.

10. Hear no English, Speak no English. See great profits!

09. Never let competence stand in the way of really screwing something up.

08. Amber Alerts are good. It means there is one less child to leave behind.

07. Believing in embryonic stem cells, is like believing in the faeries, and not the good ones.

06. You can't compare raping the land to raping a woman. There is no financial up side to raping a woman.

04. Be the crisis. Na na na na na na na!

03. It's not like we made them sign up!

02. Every day is a good day, when the laws don't apply to you.

And the number one witticism of the Bush administration is............

01. The Constitution is like God. We believe it exists, but we just haven't seen it.

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The Top Ten things Scooter Libby will do with his commuted sentence.

10. Finish his new book. A reinterpretation of Goldilocks and the three Bears.

09. Attaching his new vanity plate 'F U JOE W”

08. Explaining to Mark Rich why he makes getting a sentence commuted look good.

07. Adding Valerie Plame to his MILF list.

06. Trying to convince G. Gordon Liddy that he has just as much street cred as he does.

05. Becoming the charter member of N.A.W.B.L.A.. The North America Woman Bear Love Association.

04. Standing out in front of the CIA's entrance with a sign that says “Will out agents for food.”

03. Giving a speech for $10,000 a pop, titled “Ass kissing, lying and obstruction of justice in the modern political landscape”

And the number one thing Scooter Libby will do with his commuted sentence is..........

01. Writing “I will not out the honeypot” 10,000 times on the blackboard.

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Top Ten Real Reasons Karl Rove Resigned

10. He and Leonard Nimoy are going to go in search of the mythological U.S. Constitution.

09. He is taking a journey to Hades to dip his body in the river Styx.

08. He has been tapped to head the task force trying to determine if Barack O'Bama is black enough.

07. He is forming a secret society to destroy democratic ideas, EVERYWHERE!

06. He is busy stealing the election for the presidency of the Dead Machiavellians Society.

05. His wife wants to travel the world, So he must learn how to say 'Kiss my Ass” in 6799 languages.

04. He is searching for a new home for his collection of balls, Democratic party leaders balls.

03. After nearly seven years in the public eye, he wants to shed his skin in private.

02. Nine words. “Lucifer, I know how to make evil look righteous!”

And the number one real reason Karl Rove is resigning is!!!!!!!!!

01. To write his book 'I'm OK, You're just F'ing screwed'

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The Top Ten Activities of Alberto Gonzales in Retirement are.

10. Doing a remake called 'Fear and loathing in Crawford Texas'

09. Touring the secret U.S. Prisons to explain to the prisoners. Why the Geneva Accords are indeed, quite quaint.

08. He is going to help Karl Rove and Donald Rumsfeld to form the Legion of Doom.

07. Advising world leaders on how to extract binding legal agreements from near comatose political officials.

06. Searching for the one American, who's phone was not illegally wire tapped.

05. Writing his motivational book, “How the blind leading the blind can accomplish anything”.

04. Tracing his family tree all the way back to their chief patriarch 'Speedy Gonzales'

03. Trying to perfect his delivery of “Constitution, Constitution. We don't need no stinking Constitution.”

02. Lobbying for Miss Teen South Carolina to become the new White House Press Secretary.

And the Number one activity of Alberto Gonzales in retirement is...................

01. Trying to recall if he ever was Attorney General.

All By B. Bell

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