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No. 1 -- June 29, 1995

Recognize these flags? If you've ever had a Round Table Pizza, you might. Me, I love it -- they have on of the bestest, cheapest lunches around. Only U.S. $3.50 for a personal pan pizza and all-you-can-drink soda. Hey, I'm there!!

But have you ever noticed that their ubiquitous flag logo subliminally spells out "F-U-N"??????? I have, and its been bugging me for years.

Is it just me, or is anybody else beginning to think that maybe we actually shoulda elected Michael Huffington instead of Dianne Feinstein? I don't say this lightly, because, after all, Huffington is the man who, on "This Week With David Brinkley," suggested -- as part of his defense of Prop 187 -- that illegal aliens send their children to private schools when they get kicked out of public schools. Now there's a man with a firm grip on reality!

Nevertheless, right now he seems like a model of sanity compared to Senator Feinstein, who, every time someone even mentions the word "Internet" to her, starts running around squawking like Chicken Little on the brown acid. Well, Senator, I've voted for you twice -- three times if you include your failed bid for Governor in 1990, but you've lost my vote. Forever. I don't care if the Republicans put up the mutant bastard child of David Duke and Linda Thompson against you -- I ain't voting for you. And what sucks is that we've gotta deal with your anti-free speech bullshit through the millennium. Hmm, maybe the vote was fixed . . . Recount!!!

Hey! Didja hear about Hugh Grant's next movie?? It's called "The Englishman who Came Up the Hollywood Hills and Went Down on a Hooker"

I stopped going to McDonalds years ago -- ostensibly it had to do with my penchant plain hamburgers combined the fact that they stopped cooking their fries in that yummy animal fat. But I've decided that the real reason is their moronic commercials. Now, McDonalds has had shitty, stupid, lowest-common-denominator commercials for years, but they've sunk to an all-time low with these terrible terrible stupid sucky shitty crappy "Batman Fan!" spots they've been inundating radio with. I hate them. Someday, there will be a killfile or bozo (I guess in this case, a Ronald) filter for commercials, and McDonalds will be the first in mine, guaranteed.

Neil Young is the King of Rock and Roll. Is there any question anymore? I mean, really -- he's been on an absolutely amazing winning streak since 1989, and Mirror Ball is shaping up to be his best album of that run, and vying with Rust Never Sleeps and Tonight's The Night for his best album ever.

This space is available for advertising. I am so ready to sell out to corporate America for some decent money. Even McDonalds!




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This rant written on 29 June, 1995.
I was listening to Shane MacGowan and the Popes -- The Snake as I wrote it.