I
just sit here all day zoning, waiting for folks to pay a dollar for My
Mommy's services. Ain't happened yet. Don't get it! She gives you the free
daily Horoscope for seven years and
nobody sends so much as a dollar and this lady has PAYPAL
so
you can DO IT. (Wait a sec, there's Tom's sport show. I LOVE that
show. I can't see why Roseanne divorced this guy. He is the best thing
on the Tube!)
Ummm, where were we? OH YES, you gotta send a check to my MOM to get the stars now! I'm the payment arranger. Pablo's the name. A dollar's my game. See one buck buys me three cans of that creepy lard chow she buys at the 99c store. Lard I call it, as if that were not my middle name. But I eat it and so do the others. If you'd pay her two bucks, she'd go get turkeyburger raw and cook it with carrots and chard. I LIKE that! We all do. I can't tell you how many others here cuz of local Pound restrictions take it from me, there are PUHLENTY! Anita hasn't got this NEUTERING thing quite down yet. (hehe!) More's the pity!
SO SEND the poor human lady a check, any amt you want, for any amt of time you want and you get the dailies free, well next to free. Hey, I'm easy. And you know Anita, she's EASIER. Trust me on that one. I've been lying here pissing on her rugs for I don't know HOW long and she tolerates me. But she says she gets her knickers in a twist when PEOPLE piss on her. She expects more of her human friends, you know, you readers out there, steering your life with the 20 hrs a week she gives to this thing each Saturday and SUNDAY while you're out jiving.
I know. Everybody loved the freebie all those years. I more than anyone understand the joy of the Freebie but well, the buck stops here. I'm Pablo the Payment Arranger. You are now supposed to click on PAY PAL DOT COM telling them it's for astrology at earthlink or send a personal check to ANITA SANDS at 7900 ZELZAH AVE., RESEDA CALIFORNIA 91335, and Mommy will give you the secret codes to get your free stars free again.
You'll see! Instead of being out-exchange, ship wrecked on the shoals of karma, your luck will change OVERNIGHT. Instead of the troubles, woe, poverty you've HAD, you will get wealth, love and the joy of knowing which end is UP --- from hour to hour. Meanwhile, read THE amazing, unique, LEGACY WEBSITE, which will help you surf through this week without your usual stars, until the check clears. Just kidding. TELL me you sent it, I give you star URL by return Email. AND it comes every single week for years on end.
Signed, Pablo, the Loan arranger (hic) did I say that? I mean the PAYMENT arranger.OK Commercial's over. The Tom Show is back on. I'm outta here.
HELLO, it's CATUCHA! Please ! I can't stand eating this kibble junk. Give
me the homecooked chicken or the turkey burger and carrots!
Puhleeze. A baby kitten's got his caloric requirements. You know, growing
bones and all?
I know, kibble is better than that damn swiss chard she gave us for
a while, or the chicory tops, yuk! She won't eat it, why does she think
we will? If Cats were meant to eat CORN pone and greens, we'd have all
been born in GEORGIA fer cripes sake! HELP I'm being held prisoner in a
KIBBLE FACTORY! sign me "Catuu-cha
Cacahaute", short hair female tabby kitten seeking
a better and more prosperous home! Born under the sign of Aquarius, favorite
entertainer is PINK,
I'm anti-war, humanitarian, I spit out mice. Very peaceful. Barely need
to eat. But this is overdoing it! HELP! RESCUE ME! Send my mistress a check
or go to PAY PAL DOT COM say it's for astrology@earthlink.net and
leave a donation, get your free weekly stars for a whole year. ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz.