HOW TO START A MOONLIGHTING BUSINESS AS A LOVE CONSULTANT
(AND WHY YOU SHOULD!)
PROPOSITION- To create a Church Basement or Living Room "Love University" Group which guides young women in their concepts about ‘The Ruthless Rules of Love.’ You’re not going to be the teacher. You are going to find a local, female psychologist who is a good enough lecturer (which COULD be you, but it’s better if she has letters after her name..) to inspire a weekly LOVEAHOLICS ANYONYMOUS group, which will segue into radio guestings, then her own radio show, newspaper syndication, then sales of books and recorded tapes of her lectures.
HOW- Start by having a real psychologist do the teaching. Half the trickle down belongs to the producer, and all you need to be a producer is to run the thing.
Find and interview psychologists in your area about giving lectures. Jungians are good as they are very pro Masculine men, feminine women, which ‘works’ when it comes to love. At first, don’t tell the love doctor your full agenda, about regular lectures, radio show, books, talk shows. Simply tell her it will be ONE lecture, and that it’s good P.R. and will get her plenty of clients, that you’ll do the ads, posters, (a $40 ad in the Local paper gets you a free squib in the Local Happenings column and you can afford it as 8 students will pay for the ad. You’ll get more like l00.)
You will USE different psychologists every week until you find that one, born love doctor who has true magic, deep wisdom, spark, humor, etc. who could do a few years of this kind of work and never burn out. A star, not a comet. When you find THAT one, tell her that you will ‘produce’ the lectures, the tapes, and later the radio show, "make her a star" so it’s important that you get a written contract for 50% of the financial action, BEFOREHAND. It’s very hard for the tail to wag the dog without INK.
Let her think the work you do ‘producing her’ is hard, but it’s easy to get her on guest shows all over tarnation. Use a radio agent, then it’ll be double easy. Then, when you’ve got your love shrink on tape as a radio talk show guest and know the whole radio deal, you produce her radio show. You just give a tape of her lecture or previous radio guestings to various stations, tell them you will arrange for sponsors, and they will bid for your show. Take the top offer, let them record and broadcast it for you. Go to local businesses to find sponsors.
WHY will women in your city want to hear regular lectures about LOVE? Because women are interested in the subject, and because it behooves them to think about it, not just while they’re in a love affair, but before they get involved, so that they don't screw up. (Take on a loser, or lose a KEEPER!) In Los Angeles where Dr. Pat Allen gives groups in two cities, she has over l00 at each meeting. No publicity is done that I've ever seen, though reporters cover her, but they didn't 'pay' for that P.R. it's all Word of mouth. Her followers are ardent and loyal. EVERY class has new info as new questions are put in the basket, every time. Women need to come to understand how love is, how life is and how MEN are, and women must really understand one thing perfectly: how women ARE.
Woman has a very attuned psyche regarding love. She knows when she is touched by a man. She falls in love quickly, feels affinities quickly. While she usually falls in love earlier she is much pickier than men about getting involved,--beforehand. Because of that, she can intellectualize more about the concepts of love.
Female lore is probably the source of all modern psychology and psychiatry. Woman’s lore is more full of perceptions than male lore on love, which actually does not exist unless as some ‘technical manual’ by Ovid, or Richard Burton’s translations of the orientals, or in modern day version, ‘pick-up’ manuals.
If a woman has depth, she will be aware of many gradations of love, from shallow physical attractions to ‘pragmatic’ interest in, and respect for a man’s money, to true soul love. Some women do NOT distinguish a man’s bank account from his worth as a man, but they are aware of the difference between pragmatic love and real affinity.
A normal woman usually doesn’t get involved with a man without arriving at a stage of ‘poeticizing ‘ about his magic, his soul, his goodness and uniqueness. And money and looks can not persuade her that these exist when they do not. A boor could not be tolerated unless he were very rich, and very good to that woman.
As a wise woman once said (it was Marilyn Monroe in a movie) "beauty in a woman is like money in a man." What she was really saying is that for some people these two things occasionally ‘weigh in’ at the same atomic weight. A rich, cute fellow can date a girl, but he can’t always win the affections of a good girl. Women have an uncanny ability to sense shallowness, emptiness, phoniness, and male tricks. There’s an uneasy empty feeling when we date a huge, gorgeous hunk that’s not unlike trying to get one’s nutritional requirements from three hot fudge sundaes a day. We sense it may not be good for us in the long run.
For woman, occasionally an affair occurs without much testing and scrutinizing because women don’t have a lot of structured knowledge, tests, yardsticks with which to measure men. A group like the one we propose would aid any marriage-age female to do her testing. But even without any real ‘book learning’ today’s romances start after some unconscious testing, scrutiny and judgements have been made. A woman likes to think things out first. After all, she is letting something pretty permanent into her body. She senses in her hormonal make-up the permanent emotional commitment that life demands, hence has placed in her. Woman senses that she is devoting herself not only to the man, but to a potential offspring of this union, implying a large chunk of time. Probably she will only do this once in a lifetime. So woman is as careful going in as one would be if God came down from a cloud and gave each of us a single acorn, and said, ‘you will build your house in its branches, dwell in its shade, eats its fruit so plant it in a good place, where it can stay. Knowing that, the average girl wouldn’t plant that single seed in the shade of a mountain or on a sandy beach or by a rushing river, or on a desert.
Girls learn early that the magical dream castle building mood (and the desire to place one man in it) is easily touched off by boys. In their early affectionate experiences the pink cloud appears many times. We are true to each love until he fails us. All this allows us to realize that love is a giddy magic act, put on by nature, as Schopenhauer said, designed by wily life to hypnotize woman into giving up her own work and self, and doing nature’s work instead. Woman always senses the danger and the permanence. That there will be one man. And she dreams about that monogamy, and pearl-izes it with myth and magic, in stories and bridal magazines, and rituals.
Man does not. He dreams about the opposite: many conquests, and he dreams of this from very early in life. Boys biologically roam a little more than girls. The culture re-enforces his exploring, conquering, his diversity of experiences. It is not only tolerated it is admired. The principal rite of young males is to share details of their plural contacts. An attractive, outgoing, personable or unusual looking man or an intelligent one, or a wealthy one, can have many wonderful, deep, rapturous entertaining love experiences in a week, or a month, or a year. Or in a lifetime.
Add to this that men’s faces are not damaged by time, their pores don’t get ruined; they are ruddily ‘weathered.’ For them, skin wrinkling adds character. Their looks, intelligence and personalities grow with time, and so does their collection of jokes, stories. Their social effectiveness grows. And so do their fortunes. Often women much younger than they will admire one or all of these features, and late in life, provide him with many more plural adventures, hoping to catch him, or just in admiration. Or idle lust. Rarely do married mommies with stretch marks and wide waists inspire any of that. For them it’s over. The new wave of breeders is made up of nubile, young shapely girls. Statistics on Married men tell us that most of them do cheat. With the same ease that they have their initial duality: i.e. a complete business life by day, coming home to a perfect family life in the evening...which the wife has arranged for him, with the ease with which they do that duality, do they make it a triplicity. A mistress. Or over years, he can have many wives. Many families even. Secretaries. Multiplicities suit them.
The immense difference between the sexes ---that dramatic gulf---not only creates a dramatic amount of stress and danger, but it provides a reason why groups that allow women to study tactics are needed.
Woman must get it right while she is young. She is limited by time, by the frailty of feminine beauty. And while the span of her sexuality is long, the span of her desirability is short. If she doesn’t plan to consecrate her life to a ‘mission’---a career or public service that is both child and husband to her -- -- her reason for being...she really should consider that affectionate circle of lifelong roommates called the family.
Family life has a wonderful, long lasting glow to it. It provides us with companionship. It makes holidays more aesthetic, special, meaningful. The passing landscapes of life are best viewed from the comfortable cozy train of family life. It provides a woman with something outside the circle of her aloneness. It allows her to escape the company of the constant companion who isn’t always the most entertaining or novel companion, ourselves. Say what you will about a family, it is never boring.
When making a life program it is well to remember boredom. Young people cannot imagine how boredom does press in on older, single folk. True, it comes post 40, but that’s still well before old age and senility. And boredom comes viciously. It is one of the most horrifying, terrifying chilly ghosts that ever pressed into one’s bedroom in horror movie or fiction. It is rife with death. This kind of boredom brings a lethal deathwish with it.
Such mortal boredom will come - - - after years of having done it all, seen it all. Even the most stimulating experiences of early life, repeated later, begin to pall. Boredom happens to single folk. Alone folk. One day discos, nightclubs, dates, sports, outings, talking on the phone, travel, games, parties, novels, entertainments no longer work. They all look pallid, stupid, trite, empty. Watching t.v. is not a feasible every night activity. You hate yourself for being hypnotized by cheap flickers on a glass box. Or for going on another shopping spree, another meaningless dress. Another meaningless trip. And when that day comes and you’re staring out a plane window, or at a TV. hating yourself for being there with that remote in your hand, eating your l0th nibble- meal of the day, helplessly getting huge on the outside—and empty on the inside, you are going to say, - - - "I should have had a family." Unless of course you’re Mother Teresa, Virginia Woolfe or Madonna.
The very depth of emotion, the insistence on authenticity ---that was put by nature in woman so she could be caretaker and teacher for man and child, makes trivial living impossible for our sex. Women require a deep relationship with a non-trivial career-mission, or with an infant, or an unusually deep sharing with another adult. The friendship of a man and woman, deepened by romance and becoming family to one another--- in turn deepens each participant. They grow closer as their mutual language grows; and they’re knitted closer for having shared the panorama of life’s landscapes, events and cares together. They are made better by the constant forgiving of anger, and renewal of love. They are made stronger by hewing to a commitment first to God, (their vows) which is perhaps commitment to their own word, then to one each other, and finally to little children. By placing things other than self first---they grow disciplined, melodic, luminous,as if some spiritual muscle, exercised, grew strong.
Life is a path involving many dangers, many abysses. Many bridges. Nature is full of temptations, dangers, black holes. A woman can cross an abyss on a log if she knows the parameters that exist for females--- the rocky shoals, the dangerous waters. The very limits concentrate the mind wonderfully.
Knowing the limits of life, love, men, the human mind ---woman instantly knows she must, at an early age, design effective mate selection into the program. No need to say sassily, ‘oh I don’t plan to marry until I’m forty or so. Because that is a statistical pie in the sky. In the late 80’s a famous issue of Newsweek told us that the American woman had more chance of getting murdered by a terrorist than married after age 30. I tend to trust Newsweek’s statisticians.
What this statistic implies is: plural flirts as a pastime for woman in her 20’s, and 30’s just will not work. And picking hunks, louses, bad boys, cute or fun boys, Peter Pans, or other women’s boys -- doesn’t work either. You can AND WILL spend a lot of good years with a bad man. Women are notorious for sticking like glue to anyone who makes them feel ecstatic occasionally, and enduring a lot of peripheral grief for a few moments of glory. Nature designed loyalty, emotion, monogamy, tolerance and forgivingness into her circuits when it pulled the testosterone out and the adrenalin DOWN, then gave her a monthly leak of red iron cells designed to make even a BULL meek, sweet and spacey, preparing her for selfless, tender MOTHERHOOD.
Woman is the slave of her heart and body. Unless she can discipline heart and body early in life, before getting involved with men, she stands no chance at beating the joyous slavery for which she was designed. Recognizing all that is the stepping off point for attending a lecture on love.
Women NEED to have Love Gurus. They need to study the ideas that the great lineages have. The Freudian, the Jungian, the Adlerian. There are professionals in your area, in this field, who only need the podium. You will make it available. Women will take each idea inward, draw it down into their unconscious mind, the deep mind, not the ‘wordy ‘ one. Later, when it is a part of them, digested, the idea will burp up in you. You will suddenly, unexpectedly find yourself meditating on the idea’s features, even while one goes about one’s work, one is re-tasting the idea, ruminating, masticating, digesting, making it a part of one -- seeing if it ‘works’, sharing it with others, discarding it if it doesn’t prove true. And then, attracting a man who gives you a chance to test that idea.
It’s amazing that when a woman starts learning how to start a balanced romance, how she suddenly puts out the look and behavior that make it happen.
Knowledge is a process of slowly building up a mental network of ‘familiarities,’ concepts, then actually testing them in action. Once we lay down a solid, brick foundation of concepts, precepts, theories and theorems, it is possible to --in moments of inspiration---build lacy little turrets on top. Then there can be ‘flute riffs’ that one can play, moment to moment, as life ‘touches off’ those basic concepts. There will be games to explore, test, probe or develop the theorems. Studying, reading about love, attending lectures, learning the material, is the basic stuff: like doing a five finger exercise. The act of picking up the book is like sitting before a piano. Each idea here loosens the mental fingers ---but make these chords yours, and one day as life bumps into you, you’ll find you can spread your hands and play complex chords, and then join chords into songs, and read songs made up of complex chords, then memorize many chords, then many songs-- and be an expert on love yourself. You start by brokenly playing other people’s notations, first stumbling, then running. Finally you learn to listen for your own, inner songs, then last of all, you bring the world your melodies as a gift, creating what is new wonderful and all your own, for the sisters and daughters you will teach.
Starting a Love Group in your part of the world is therefore a spiritual path, an intriguing, fascinating pastime, a service to the community, and a ‘dharmic’ or ‘right’ way to make money. What is more, you don’t have to leave your present job. It can be done as moonlighting.
A DESCRIPTION OF THE GROUP: Generally 90% of the audience will be women, but l0% men always show up. The psychologist has a basket near podium for written questions, and answers as many as she can. She has a mike and her talk is taped and sold the subsequent week. Home made posters, flyers, paid newspaper ads, free plugs in the editorial part of paper and word of mouth are your only advertising. Your income is from a 5-10$ charge for the group and sale of tapes, about 500$ a week And, whatever tapes of previous meetings you can sell. Another l00$?
When you have l00 people a week coming regularly, next you go to all the local radio stations and propose the show to them. Have photos of her well-attended lectures and the psychologist herself to promote the show to station. Get local magazines, papers to interview her for features that will double your attendance. Have her write a book. Get a list of ‘small presses’ from the library and submit the manuscript and sell it. Next, get a list of talk shows, their producers’ fax numbers. Get your pop guru on talk shows. Her book(s) will become best sellers as the ground has been laid. Now get a list of BIG publishing companies from the National Literary Marketplace, a reference book at the library. They will sign you now, as she’s already a proven writer. By then you’ll be rich and famous yourself, traveling the country, meeting interesting people and having a great life as the Mother Teresa of Love. (Or, the woman BEHIND that Mother Teresa), her seminar producer.
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