HOW TO LAUNDER MONEY, (both CLEAN AND DIRTY MONEY)

LAUNDER! Now, that's an odd term to use in association with MONEY! Money can't go thru a washing machine.  But guess what, gang... This term doesn't mean wash good money in suds until it's clean.  It means get the marks of provenance off the money and/or invest the money to produce a good business and a  happy life in ways that cannot be traced (if someone were looking which they're not!)

So in a way laundering is involved,  a process that cleans off all traces and paper trails of the DIRTY WORLD which cash comes from ---which linger on that money and which the IRS might catch the scent of accidentally, though they're not sniffing after you, precisely.

For instance, when work you do is deductible as a work expense on someone else's taxes, they give you FICA deductions and send your Soc Sec# to the IRS. Then, you exist on paper. So for that boss, you can only earn 7k a year if you want to not pay taxes on the earnings. Past 7k, you will have to pay some taxes.

An expert launderer whom I know is a carpenter, electrician, handyman. He works for apartment owners and gives the manager a real price break for the first 7k of work on his many buildings. He keeps track of how many jobs he's done and at what price. At 7k, he knows he's going to be reported, knows those FICA deductions will put him on paper and he will be paying taxes. What he does then is turn the job down. He explains that were he to continue working for this boss, his rates would have to go up sharply. He pays absolutely no taxes and does not file so that ends the work relationship until 'next tax year.' He's been doing this for years without filing. (Usually the boss pays him under the table the rest of the year.).

It is unlikely that the IRS will ever be motivated to sniff after a handyman. They are looking for under-the table businesses that gross over a hundred thousand a year. Anyway, the IRS is incapable of finding the many millions of us small fish earning under l00k, with the 'less and less able' staffing and ancient, COBOL programmed computers they run in Washington. We are under their radar as not every movement leaves a paper trail. Not every dollar helping you have a glorious life has "provenence".

Provenence is a wonderful thing when you want to know where some precious jewel or painting has been in its long history but a real tedious thing when it comes to the cash you got for that speed boat you sold.  When the IRS asks where did this money come from, you say "What cash where? What speed boat? Cuz that boat has no papers, the cash isn't in a bank, now. It's in a hole under a rose bush. All they can see is what's in your checking account and they can ask where did you get that 2k in the bank. Say 'I made that money; I worked, you can see I have W-2's for almost 7k. I paid taxes on it, (actually you got a tax credit or money back from the gov!) I then put the little bit left in the bank."

The handyman told me that he saves all his gas and tool receipts so that if he is ever asked, where did the 7k you earned go, he says 'here in this paper sack.'

But say that you earned some money and that money is lying in the bank and you earned it as cash, without W-2's or FICA deductions. Of course you do feel compelled to tell the IRS how you earned that cash. You do not want to file a tax form. The tips we share today will help you proceed neatly.

It is possible that you have illegally been doing some huge cash scam. Definitely you don't want to report that scam or pay taxes on it but the criminal isn't who I'm writing for today. I'm writing for the honest person who tenders needed services. You paint houses, dig gardens, build walls, fix car motors. You do something legal that is hard labor, get cash without FICA deductions or W-2's, and then you feed a family on that cash. You do not feel like going to a post office, filling out some form and sharing such hard earned money with the gov!

If you made a hundred grand selling crack to kids, stop reading. I am not desirous of helping jewel thieves or drug dealers to hide earnings. However, I mostly know the circle that I send html files to.

I know that my friends and their friends are not criminals. You are spiritual people who are moonlighting and earned an extra dollar or two from your strong back, smart brains, wisdom, talents and can't pay taxes cuz your family barely eats as it is. Our Gov gives the whole check to the IMF anyway. That's right. Look on back of cancelled income tax checks, endorsed by IMF. An offshore banking machine owned by the wealthiest 14 families on the planet, which our GOV is seriously and stupidly in hock to bigtime for all those war toys they bought from their cronies who donated to their campaigns so, to balance out the karma YOU MUST do one of several things:

a.) LAUNDER that money to disguise its provenence and then pay taxes on some small part of it.

b.) Or, if you do not want to be taxed at all on that cash, you never ever file a form. You spend your money in hidden ways, not as checks but as cash (or in cashier checks and other ways that are untraceable -- meaning in ways that don't leave paper trails). That means never having more than 3k in any bank, or creating a transaction of more than 3k cuz at the 3k limit, the bank must report it to the gov.

c.) It means paying all your regular payments like utilities, insurance car payments, rent even with cashier's checks or money orders. Do not get cash out of your bank account to do it, because then, there's a paper trail i.e. provenance. No, just walk into your bank, (Washington Mutual is a good one as cashier's checks are free to you.) Put cash thru the teller's window and order your cashiers' checks. A big stack of them. Rent $1,000, car payment 400$. No paper trail.

Out of cash that comes in every week thru your 'trade',  you will pay rent, car payments, utilities, educational tuition. The cash disappears that way. Invest in yourself, too. Buy a table saw and a sander for your son. Pay a master carpenter to train him. No student loans for your family, they are worse than mortgages. See THE FREE EDUCATION INDEX PAGE.  Send the kids to college with cash and Pell Grants cuz hey, you're poor.  You qualify. Summers, send the whole family to a cheap motel on the beach in Puerto Vallarta. Cheapest flight is from JUST INSIDE Mexico down to the coast.. Buy third world artisanry from the artists in tiny villages; ship it back home, wholesale it to boutiques. In other words, have a grand life with this money that never existed on paper and which  evaporates into righteous living and useful tools and vivid experiences for your family as well as tortilla money for some third worlders who continue to send you merchandise every month, giving all of you a happy existence.

That is not the behavior of some Wefare Barbara who takes Gov money under false pretenses and buys Cadillacs and owns apartment buildings, no  that is a righteous parent seeing to his progeny's lives.

We want to learn how to make dirty money clean or clean money disappear into clean lives. We make clean money invisible, CLEAN MONEY that you happen to have in abundant amounts from clean labor, doing clean services, (dharmic labor the Buddhists call it), only hey, you do NOT want to pay taxes on it as Gov just uses the cash to kill third world people in wars. It fills those bombs with uranium so even our soldiers have birth defect babies. Do a google search on the word "goldenhar" if you don't believe me. 14,4000 times this birth defect syndrome is mentioned. Then cross check it with GULF WAR VETERANS.

Who needs to send these wargasmic villains more of our clean cash? No, you righteously want to make that moola totally unavailable to brigands like that. Make it invisible. That is entirely another kind of laundering from what crack dealers are doing. Just cuz crack dealers do a thing doesn't mean it's bad. They eat tacos and breathe, so do you. Doesn't make it bad.

Many of us moonlight work at something really helpful to the planet and we earn quasi invisible money, i.e. no paper trail of provenance. We were inventive, the community wanted our services, we got paid in cash, or people's checks to us were small (just that there were a lot of different people paying us so the amts mounted up. And we always asked them to write the check out to CASH so that when we went to their bank to cash it, no thumbprints and driver's license were taken. Again, no dirty paper trail.)

We ended up with wads of dollar bills. We bought free cashier's checks or free money orders at Washington Mutual, where we chose to bank, to pay for our lives. It can NOT be proven that you earned some enormous sum last year. That money is NOT GOING TO BE TAXED cuz nobody knows you earned it. THE IRS has no paper work on it at all. You may have a rose bush and under it a huge waterproof chest and inside of it, thousands in dollars, dry and waiting to become a down payment on a home. Tell me,  why would anyone in their right mind want to pay taxes on it? You're already paying taxes on everything you buy at the store. Maybe even on a Salary with W-2 deductions. HEY, you gave at the office. You want to fling cash at the gov so it can kill more ARABIAN BABIES and mutate kids belonging to our G.I's?? NO!

So you're smart. What you're using the cash for is FIXING UP THE HOUSE, putting NEW MOTORS into your old car every ten years. See,  if you just have a nice gorgeous house with a huge well-cared-for garden full of fruit trees and rose bushes (with cash buried under them,) and you pay the gardener and landscaper in cash, that money is useful but invisible. It helps Pablo and his wife Maria, and their kids. It helps yours. If you and ten families you adore share a Central house with big kitchen, dining room, then a dozen little 'vacation villas' for the 'agrarian workers, then a communal orchard/ wheat field there is a series of (HOW TO's to be able to do that --and for a very few dollars. You and your gang will  seek an old farm abutting a fertile valley with the houses to be built on a nearby hill near a small village that's about one gastank away from your city. You and ten favorite families will 'sharework' to get orchard care done, home built and maybe a caretaker brought from the city, "Pablo and Maria" who have experience raising pigs, chickens, nut orchards. You and your co-investors also spend time there gardening, fixing it up. You are doing evolutionary things for your friends and their children. You are forwarding the action and the Universe will support you!

IRS comes around, says "hmmm nice house," you say I worked at the job here are W-2s and I paid taxes." Who's to say you didn't do that imported Mexican tile work in all bathrooms yourself? Who's to say you didn't build that adobe wall around garden yourself, or grow all those delicious fruit trees from seed? As the vacation villa is owned as an anonymous corporation created with papers in the State of Utah, they won't even see that one. And as for your legion of mid-90s cars that work like a dream, who's to say you didn't throw the ole Ford on a cherry picker and install some rebuit-cheap motor in there yourself? Maybe you paid a guy a thousand for that motor. THE IRS isn't going to ask you, how did you afford a thousand dollar motor or an adobe wall? They just aren't. So these are good places to sink cash into. BETTER is your kids. College educations! Say The kids sold apples from our trees to earn that tuition money." End of story.

That isn't gonna put the IRS' knickers in a twist. There is no way to prove how you paid for walls, gardens, colleges, because the money had been washed clean of traces of the world, and that, as Martha Stewart would say, 'is a good thing.'

See we want to be clean and GOOD not seedy. We want to be in charge of our life. We want our kids to have a few hundred dollar bills (or thousand) in their pocket the day they enroll at college.  THE GOV doesn't want that. They want your kids on welfare rolls, unemployed, in the brig for parking tickets. Believe you me. I've seen it. Kids who want to go to school, wanted to be trained and are jobless with traffic warrents in the thousands for car fines as they couldn't both go to school, pay parking lots, work at McDonalds and still have a clear head. They had emotional breakdowns, were locked up and that's a horror story but I've seen it happen.

At times, as a parent, a little criminal technology is a good thing. You do not share this Modus Operandi info with your kids.  They couldn't handle it emotionally. This is for parents and other seniors. You simply quietly do this stuff. You quietly are able to give the kids the thousands it takes for college, or for an old heap car with a new motor, and hope that college has more free parking than the one where my kids earned their license to suffer, traffic warrents and eventually their place at State run Patton Mental Hospital.

My thesis is that laundering money  is good to know stuff! I am going to list actual time honored little tricks  to get around the law. And you want to get around the law. LAWS were written for the criminal, hurtful and the mean. NOT FOR THE SAINT. YOU answer to a higher law.

GRABBING YOUR tax money has allowed governments to get so uppity, invade utterly impoverished countries to steal their resources or slave labor. Your tax money allowed them to get so much campaign donations (bribes) from insurance companies that they were obliged to make insurance mandatory to the citizen in order to drive.

The GOV is so totally greedy that it has destroyed its own citizens with fees, penalties, licenses, taxes, and then taken that money to destroy other people abroad with Uranium enriched missiles. PTOOEY on the GOV!

Learn to launder money when you earn it and launder it when you spend it, and do so as a decent citizen, not because you are a member of some Syndicate dealing harmful substances.

YOU need to know how to disrupt the GOV's DBAU operations (that's "Doing Business As Usual" and stick a wrench in their works.) Why? Not only so that your good money will not be used to shoot bomb and irradiate Arabian babies and women as it has been twenty thousand times in the last year alone! Or Somalian peasants before that or Panamanian before that, or have the CIA assasinating all left-leaning priests, nuns, schoolteachers in Nicaragua, Guatemala and Salvador, or have the CIA instruct CHILE in murdering 25,000 suspected leftists so that PINOCHET could take power. (You think not? Rent "MISSING".) Learn what they really do with your money so that you and everyone you know who learns from you can advance your children's paths away from being a virtual slave in a dirt hut eating bread and water, mentally tweaked and depressed to an educated, nutritionally complete human.

Right now, online newspapers in the UK print the photos of all the babies and mothers shot in Iraq and Afghanistan and the numbers are HUGE. And Bush senior did it, with 74 billion bucks of your tax money and his cretin puppet son. So slow down on taxes for godssake!

Bush SENIOR's game is to get his oil rich CEO pals into the third world, using the puppet W, so oligarchs own third world oil wells and bank with the DOLLAR not the EURO.  The so called "smart" guys Bush Senior hangs with have crooked ENRON bookkeeping methods for gathering operating capital that defy common economic theory but even THEY must look out for the N.W.O. and the I.R.S. If they are careless, they 'sort of' get prosecuted. The ENRON team got Handslaps for a few accountants and minor VPS and the big guys went free but next November the politicos Enron elected may not be so lucky.

It is more likely that the GOV / IRS capture career criminals with tax laws. Al Capone, Lucky Luciano, and Meyer Lansky were never caught for prostitution, drug vending, extortion or racketeering. They were busted for tax evasion. All these big goombas had little 'gomibini' who ratted them out. They also had hidden sets of books (which came unhidden) and CPA's who'd produce those books and tell the truth to a jury.  But lucky you! You don't have gombini, books or sweaty nervous CPA's so hey,  you're not in any danger.

Here are a few methods for getting around those pesky tax laws that you can do all by your lonesome only you need to do it for the good of your family, community and friends. Not for yourself. Not for greed. This was taken from the pages of ROLLING STONE MAG. This is for bigtime tax evasion.

Method 1
Typical TIME TESTED, This is the drug dealer method:
1) get a million dollars ( how you do this part is your own business.)
2) fly to the Grand Cayman islands and take your million with you in lead sheathed luggage. Hey, my friend did it. He knew how to build things.
3) Some banks in that area sell legitimate off-the-shelf corporations.(these are shell corporations or holding companies. some even come complete with a board of directors. Buy one of these corporations from the bank.
4) Open an account in one of those banks under the corporations name and deposit the remainder of your money.
5) enjoy the islands, get some sun and then go home.
6) When you arrive at home, "Borrow" a $100,000 from the corporation in the islands by wire transfer.( as sneaky as this sounds, this is totally legal.)
7) Use the cash to open a cash biz. Most open a restaurant with a bar, but I suggest getting your smart nephew who can't get a job cuz we have 20% joblessness in this country now, to open AIR REPAIR, a multi-tech Air conditioning shop installing HEPA or the new ELECTRO STATIC air cleaners in posh homes. Twenty k a shot. beats a damn BAR! Or create "DRIP IRRIGATE" for drought gardens. Or the VILLAGE CAFE AND BAKERY. And a FOOD COOPERATIVE.
8) At the end of each month, take proceeds from whatever criminal thing you've got going on the side and deposit it in the bank as the take from the bar. It is a good idea to to over report how well you restaurant/bar is doing but not to get to greedy. The Internal revenue service takes a dim view of a pizza parlor that purports to do several hundred thousand dollars a month in revenue. If you don't get greedy you won't get investigated.they just don't have the manpower. It is also a good idea
to plow some of the proceeds into the legitimate corporation too. If the company does well on it's own it can expand and offer more laundering potential.
9) Your criminal money is now clean as a whistle. Pay taxes on it.

Method 2)
The Loanback Method:

1) A new jersey gambler has half a million dollars in profits salted away in a numbered swiss bank account. He buys a string of car washes (another great way to over report potential sales) for 1 million financing it with 50,000 grand down and 450,000 with a legitimate first mortgage.

2) He "borrows" the other half million from his swiss bank.
3) since he is borrowing his own money and repaying it as if it too is a legitimate loan that means he has interest charges. This charade allows him to pay himself the interest and deduct that same interest from his taxes  thus bringing the money back into the country.
4) once he has paid of his loan to himself he may relend it to himself.

Method III.
The Money Broker shuffle Problem:
Mr A is columbian drug lord. He has a million dollars sitting in New York badly in need of deodorization.
Mr B is a legitimate columbian businessman who wants to buy a million dollars worth of U.S. computers but his government wants 21 cents for every dollar he buys with his pesos. BAD EXCHANGE RATE.

Solution: they hire a money broker who for a nominal fee will solve the problem.
1) the million dollars is 'smurfed' or smuggled overland to an account in a Mexican bank.
("smurfing" is process of wire transfer of money in tiny chunks less than 10,000 dollars. this is effort intensive but necessary. Billions of dollars are wire tranfered everyday but only transactions larger than 10 grand are documented by banking institutions. Transactions smaller than this are fully covered under banking insurance thus larger transactions are carefully tracked in case something goes wrong.Law enforment also does not possess the man power to check all these transactions and never will. this is an every damn minute, 24 hour a day phenomenon.)
2) The broker writes a check for U.S. 1 million at a correspondent bank in New York City and gives it to XYZ computers.
3) XYZ computers ships Mr B. his machines from its Panamanian free zone warehouse
4) Mr B gives the money broker a million dollars worth of pesos.
5) Pesos become sqeaky clean pocket change of Mr A. Annual loss of revenue to Columbian government 6-8 billion dollars.

Method 4) The Omnibus account method:
Swiss banks (and others I'm sure.) maintain what is known as "omnibus accounts" at american brokerage houses. This make it easy for mafiosi to purchase american blue chip stock anonymously. Naturally, if they make a profit they pay no capital gains taxes on it because there are no records in the U.S. tying them to the stock purchases and the swiss banks are bound by their laws not to reveal the names of their investors. this enables them not only to make money but to manipulate the market by buying large blocks of stock through the banks and then exercising their proxies, enabling them to determine who will be on the board of directors and who will be C.E.O.

Special thanks to Rolling Stone magazine and Carl Sifakis for very informative material. This treatise on Dark-side economics has been brought to you by Anita Sands the astrologer who's interested in EVERYTHING that will help the family to educate its kids.

LAUNDERING MONEY 101 -
IRS TAX FRAUD CATCHER, now a TEACHER, DON Temple outlined the 10 most common techniques used to launder money.

The following list represents several of the methods used by money
launderers to accomplish the first stage of money laundering, the
placement stage.

Did You Know That Money Launderers...

1. Often exchange small denomination bills for one hundred dollar
bills. This reduces the bulk of the currency several fold and makes it
easier to conceal and transport.

2. Purchase monetary instruments such as money order, travelers checks,
bank drafts, cashiers checks, treasurers checks, and official bank
checks with currency in amounts below the $3,000 record-keeping thereby
reducing the bulk of currency.

3. Purchase the monetary instruments mentioned above in increments just
below the $10,000 Currency Transaction Report threshold. This will
result in the financial institution identifying the purchaser and
maintaining a log of these transactions; however, money launderers
recognize that the log is not filed with the government.

4. Bulk ship currency to a jurisdiction with bank secrecy laws. Although
a Currency and Monetary Instrument Report must be filed with the U. S.
Customs Service anytime currency and/or monetary instruments are
exported from the U. S. or imported into the U. S. money launderers do
not file the report. Section 371 of the USA PATRIOT Act makes bulk
shipping cash into or out of the United States a crime.

5. Recognize that financial institutions report repeated deposits of
just under $10,000. Therefore many money launderers will open several
accounts in the names of family members and possibly friends at several
financial institutions and deposit small amounts of currency in each
account. The deposited amount in these situations may be less than
$1,000 on a daily basis or $2,000 to $3,000 twice or possibly three
times a week. These deposited amounts remain below the thresholds of any
known internally developed monitoring system and would probably only be
detected using comprehensive technology along with a compliance team.

6. The launderer may purchase a currency generating business to launder funds. Money
launderers have used businesses such as restaurants and service/gasoline
stations. These businesses serve as both a method to place and layer
dirty money simultaneously.

7. Use electronic transfers to move dirty money. A money launderer may
fund an electronic transfer with up to $3,000 in currency without
providing identification. These funds can be rapidly transferred
anyplace in the world. In many cases the money launderer may request
that a representative of a money service business (MSB) execute several
wire transfers during the course of a day all below the $3,000
record-keeping threshold. The money launderer will normally offer the
MSB employee a bribe for the accommodation.

8. The launderer may elect to execute electronic transfers below the $3,000
record-keeping threshold at several financial institutions. Doing this
will keep these transfers under the radar screen since they are small
increments and they are being distributed to multiple places.

9. Purchase a big-ticket item such as a car and use currency to pay down
loans at an accelerated rate. The dealership is required to file a
currency report if the money launderer uses currency and/or monetary
instruments with a face value of $10,000 or less and the total value of
the currency and the monetary instruments aggregates to over $10,000.
Financing the automobile and making accelerated payments on the loan
will evade the filing of a currency report.

10. Attempt to disassociate themselves from the proceeds of a fraud
quickly. Money launders may deposit the fraudulent proceeds into an
account and almost immediately withdraw those funds in the form of
currency at various branches of an institution or via ATMs.

We hope this is helpful. Pass it on to your friends and mature family members
knowing that you are doing good for the people who count.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
DON TEMPLE works with financial institutions to develop business
requirements and provide assessment services in the areas of compliance
planning, programs, and training, at Mantras, a provider of behavior
detection software solutions for the financial services industry. Prior
to joining Mantras, he spent 26 years with the IRS where he served as a
Special Agent and headed a fraud investigation task force. I guess we
now know why they threw Temple out of the Money Changers!
hahaha!

NOW PASTE THESE INTO YOUR BROWSER:

http://www.google.com/search?q=%22How+to+Launder+Money%22&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&start=10&sa=N

http://www.ex.ac.uk/~RDavies/arian/scandals/launder.html

There are books on this, pamphlets really, were avail at loomphanics, a fantastic publishing house, but FBI CLOSED THEM DOWN. Look the titles up at google. Maybe some are floating around.

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