The Internet is eternally amusing. The l% of humanity smart enough to work PCs and create Photo shopped graphics have such amusing ideas! And they're brainy about everything, especially current history, politics and scams by politicos done for corporative financiers.

Fer instance, My smart Internet penpal friend Philip is so smart he stretches brains. He sends me all of the files I put at the "JERRY's REFRIGERATOR" full of  CONSPIRACY THEORY WEBSITE and the GOV SECRETS WEBPAGE. Of course the downside of guys like that is that when they start verging on being that smart, they get sassy and from there it's a hop skip and a jump to CYNICAL and when that happens, you just can't come up with an answer and your day is ruined. Try answering his latest. It's the equivalent of a philosophical koan.

I'd just come in from the Village Market in West L.A. arms full of cheap spinach, artichokes, raw honey and was online extolling modern life in West L.A. as being farmlike in spite of urban curses like high rents for a square foot of over shampooed carpet, neighbors heard thru cellphane walls and parking lot freeway jam. "Phil, you should have seen all those glorious, gentle, civilized vegetarians in their SUVs and Jeeps buying artichokes!" I typed. Nay CHIRPED.

The ICQ sneered back at me. "Civilization is glorified Insanity which began the day we stopped hunting and began farming. I tell you vegetables are the cause of mankind's total demise."

"HUH? I said. You could have driven a SUV thru my wide eyebrows.

"The first million years when we hunted boar mankind was OK. A man was independent of woman and society. He caught a deer, he could offer a girl dinner, she'd be very seductive, he'd have a brief but very successful interlude, --- healthy and "moment-to-moment" unpredictable, lusty and true, in the Hemingway sense of the word 'true'

But this vegetable and grain growing thing not only was the death of our maleness, resourcefulness and independence, it was also the corruption of humanity."

"Oh? How do you figure?"

"Farmers immediately got attached to their land, and became total wusses. Home with the wife and kid full time until they started to hate both of 'em of course. The concept of cheating on your main squaw got started and guilt was next. With guilt came priests. And out the door went Godhood. No more wiles over dangerous tusked animals, no pride, no risk, no triumph. No more uncertainty. Those were all the features of the hunting fishing epoch. Yeah, and so?

Well, when it's about your field of artichokes, suddenly its about REAL ESTATE. (I could almost hear the sneer in the ICQ chat as he typed the word in bold.) Landowners immediately have to prevent raids from hunter-gathering marauding gangs. They have to band together and retain and feed armed ruffians to protect their cash crops. As time passed, the ruffians protecting the villages formed kingdoms, villages, cities and nations.

 Ultimately, those who controlled the ruffians, (read the king and his 'armies') also formed banks and governments. The farmers, stuck with huts, fields, wives and children now had to supply their families with THINGS. Things required factories. Factories required workers. So instantly all those ex hunters had to become assembly line workers and the manufacturers became oligarchs and tax bases for the Kings, well, from there it's a hop skip and a jump to ALL governments controlling their "cash cows" -- natural resources like oil, gold, agriculture and commerce and seeing to the interest of the oligarchs, to the exclusion of the workers. Then, to create solidarity among their slaves, they created unions, orders, brotherhoods, and lodges. Then, to top it all off, they formed federal reserve banks and stuck them in each country to tie the money of that country directly to a faucet which spilled into their own pockets. A planetary, central BANK for all the energy on the planet. Then they hired money police, think IRS.

Now we have institutionalized vampirism on high which creates its polarity, lumpen proletariat, starving homeless, anarchists and mad bombers on the bottom. Which in turn justifies governments hiring police and jails and wardens, justifies Big multinational banks seeking to add all kinds of basic service or luxury taxes to augment revenues, sponge squeeze the people of all nations, and to enforce all these taxes with control of politicians, Justice Department, IRS, CIA and of course, divide to control which entails race against race, government against government, and soon you had the CIA dealing drugs to the barrio, with perfect impunity, except the city of Oakland has just decided to sue the US Gov about that one! And we had all the wars on the planet including WW ONE and TWO and Korea and Nam.

And of course back home, we had men tied to female apron strings, starving for hunting and fishing, deprived of testosterone, immediately want to go out and fight wars. They'll buy any jingoistic claptrap you lay on 'em. The bottom line: all wars are fought for manhood, power and money and it all started with VEGETABLES. "Civilization? Give me a half cooked goat anytime!"

 I reeled backwards from the keyboard. "Phil, it's not just land and fields and houses. I think humans have a problem with matter of any kind. My garage is full of matter, my closets too. STUFF that decays into dust and muck. The most beloved old stuff is the most exasperating, scary, sad, fear and sorrow-producing all at once. If it's paintings, you have to repaint or frame or hang or sell. If it's scribblings, you have to rewrite it, or submit it or admit you can't write and yet you spent years doing it so you must be the world's biggest jerk loser. If it's clothes, you have to mend, patch, clean and dye them or diet to get back into them, or weep because they were so costly and they're out of style. Books get ruined or re-read or lent and not returned so they break friendships. Albums of photos make you need Prozac. Everything down here grieves, tears, rusts or gets dusty or rots into total muck.

 But the human spirit doesn't fade or go out of style or haunt us. We have to have faith in the spirit. Don't we? If we're cynical and buy into the "curse of Stuff" philosophy and along with it, the horror, hate and anger at what Big Brother has done to us, depriving us of chasing boar --- then that's the ultimate attachment. It makes us depressed. And when we're depressed, we're suicidal. So our own skull is killing us worse than all the social inventions that our skull invented in recorded history although they're doing a pretty good job, too.

 Which is a faster way to die? Fire, bullet? Falling out of a building or leaping out? Or being PUSHED?

 Phil and I keyboarded around some more and figured out that the ultimate answer was to die to it all and live, live now. Sell our stuff. All of it. Get a bow and arrow and sleeping bag. Move to where there are boar or forest greens, depending on if you're vegie or not. Or skip the sleeping bag and arrow move to a hot climate where there are mangos and coconuts for free. The master Jules used to extoll that kind of life. There was no coast of Mexico he didn't go nuts for and this is a guy who had a house on top of a mountain in Bev Hills and another one on a beach in Florida. He thinks all Mex coasts are the acme, and they're filled with rich NY and PARIS people he tells me.

With knowledge like that being thrown in your path comes the need to make a commitment. And finally, if you commit to Eden, one must sell the PC. You can't plug it in under a mango tree besides, the thoughts that come out of it are getting dangerously anti New World Order and they are the big thing right now. They got all their sums right and they own our ass. Besides all this stuff we do on PC's and on the internet is just too bright. Anything that mental is SCARY.

Oh well, Two million years of recorded history down the drain.