BE LONELY ALONE or BE LONELIER WITH SOMEBODY ELSE?
THE MARRIAGE Vs. STAY SINGLE question
I did the math on a chart just now. This career girl client has her ruler SATURN transiting or entering her 7th house in MOONCHILD which would incline her toward making a bad marriage. I told her, "Nicole, I see you heading into Marriage, motherhood. as the most TIME-CLOCK TICKING aware Planet of all, Saturn which is your ruler ---" ( she's Capricorn rising, a dyed in the wool career girl) --- "that very SATURN went into MOONCHILD today and that planet is in "its fall" in that sign. Saturn belongs in CAPRICORN but not the opposite sign, CANCER!) And it's going to be there for two and a half years! And hit a lot of planets you have in the house of marriage."
"Appreciate the Catch 22 you're facing. You had to be perfectly stunningly gorgeous and beautiful, immensely successful -- a regular EMPRESS to catch that man because these days the man has SEEN Michelle Pfieffer and Ashley Judd on screen so you're competing with GODDESSES! His norms of female pulchritude are Shania, Brittany. In my day they were Marilyn and Ava. But today, Brittany, Shania and Madonna. Well, not Madonna. She couldn't get married if she didn't have the l00 million, that's the GUY-BRAIN reality in today's world.
"Now you are fantastic looking and a real success as a model. Now, you will almost certainly nail some angelic fellow (MOON rules her house of marriage,) but the second you do, angelic or not, he turns you into the SERVANT of a lot of people! KIDS, dogs, linoleum, beds, toilets & floors. You who can make $50,000 a year are suddenly, overnight, the victim of this immense CATCH 22 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I shot her a page from http://wordsmith.org/ You can subscribe, get a daily word or expression sent you. "Catch-22 (kach twen-tee TOO) noun, i.e. A situation marked by contradiction, absurdity, or paradox, where a solution is impossible to achieve. [From Catch-22, a novel by Joseph Heller.] In this World War II novel, an air force regulation states that a man is to be considered insane if he is willing to continue to fly dangerous missions. To be relieved of such duties all he has to do is ask. But one who makes such a rational request shows that he is, in fact, sane.
So you have to be fabulous to get married and once you are, the whole process turns you into weenie meat. I know. Been there, did that. If you count wealth as a hubby and kids REMEMBER, the kids you end up with won't write or phone much. Mother's day will be forgotten by all of them so it becomes annual PAIN. Divorce from the GUY is half likely and trust me, no alimony from the hubby, not these days! Count what you get? you will be poor in purse and spirit.
If you count wealth as kids you love, so YOUR HEART is full at least, (forget about theirs,) and for a while, there's abundance in kids you nurture, send off into life prepared and a man who honors you for having had HIS kids. That's if you stay married and cook on HOLIDAYS, and cook for his SPORTS NIGHTS, then, you will be rich. RICH in intangibles. Ah yes! The Lights are being turned off. Phones are too and you have such wealth. His friends around on SUNDAYS.
If you plan to work while you raise kids, the kids turn into creeps, thieves, hustlers, addicts, dirt. Wealth and security cannot be achieved. Psychiatrists, therapy drain your pockets. No, Mom has to stay at home to get quality kids. So you won't work.
Hey, your success in the marketplace will be forgotten. Your status as a WHATEVER you are today descends to the basement even as your MOTHERHOOD abilities turn you into a SAINT. So you are really becoming great in a hidden way. And the crown of thorns is, no one knows it!
THIS SWAMP YOU ARE ENTERING is rife with catch 22's. OH my dear! Not only that. Remember the myth of the mermaid who wanted legs so she could be with a man? How each step was violent pain? How her heart was broken by the racking pain and thrills and attachment of LOVE?????? Loving a frail rude human man? I'd sooner embrace a cactus plant with strychnine on each needle!
What can I SAY to defend either of your choices? LIFE IS PAIN. Jobs/ bosses have their pain. Single girls face demanding landlords of costly apartment buildings, (can't live in the ghetto! You are too pretty. It would be like a chicken on a fox ranch!) Superintendents and janitors in big city buildings want ten bucks to change a lightbulb, mechanics take you for a ride in your own car but all the hazards of the SINGLE world and dating don't really yield much except sequential monogamy LOVE AFFAIRS tying up years of your stash of time, which is already getting low.
So, seeing that marriage is about to happen to you, GAL! You CANNOT date SHLUBS! You should at this point, not date poor sweet guys. MARRY A "TOGETHER" GUY!. How? Hit the yacht club. Fish right next to where the yachts emerge. Ski The POSH resorts. Walk some shred of a resume through the big corporations, (that leave your modeling/ stripping off the list,) and you can meet and date super tycoons. They take you to the country club and you meet the multi billionaires. Aim your matrimonial arrow at a worthy target and actually have it move toward attaining you certain goals. Not just property, stock portfolios, a beach home in Acapulco but if you want GOD to help you find a great mate, doing PHILANTHROPY with hubby's billions. Becoming an EVITA. An OPRAH. THE MARRY WELL SITE tells you how.
What yield has your fab beauty, which has you working doing calendar art, no agent, no tv interviews, no film roles, just pin up art and stripping. What yield will your upcoming marriage have. Perhaps years of LOVING, PASSION, SEX, ADORATION, ATTRACTION? But 90% of love unions fail. They can become a PAIN BOG. NO principal yielding no monthly sum lies THERE! And what return does marriage have when one marriage in a dozen makes it --unless you value this little collection of HUMAN BEANS that you fuss over, feed and grow and which you call KIDS!
MARRYING AND SETTLING INTO A HOME is like a Dog and a Cat tied together with a rope. Any Vestigal passion dies totally when IT becomes THE ROPE!
OK. Babies come. Babies are cute. I see them in shops and want to adopt any one of them. But they are only adoreable until they're ....some argue three, others eight. I'd go for 12. TWELVE is the cutting off place. TWELVE is when you send them to military school. They are no longer decorative and they sure don't warm HEARTS! They turn you into SIGMUND FREUD to be able to deal with them. I suppose that's a good thing.
As for the man. A GOOD man adores you for bearing and loving his pups. but AN AVERAGE MAN looks at the pups as attention takers and secretly wants to drown them.
A smart WOMAN of course, doubles her attentions to this jealous Papa Monster. Don't know how she does, but she senses he wants to eat the offspring and she invents games to make poppa adore --not eat --his kids.....and she brings the ship of FAMILY safely to berth at some distant shore about 20 yrs away!
THAT IS A HELLUVA LONG CRUISE! To be watching a mean dog eye your kids, beat them sometimes, program them really badly at other times. 'You jerk, you loser." I do astrology for dozens of married mothers who have these guys who are REAL jerks telling the babies all this 'you loser' STUFF! Mean stuff, like I'm telling you now, defunct, negative programming like I'm giving you right now. REALISTIC stuff. Judging this as bad, the other as worse. SHAME on him but these ladies can't stop him cuz he's the man. SHE gave him the power! So that's who the average woman is WITH on this cruise with. (twenty years long) and the woman is in steerage.
Now, I have hard time with cruises to Catalina. An hour off shore of LA it seems a little tedious and hard and boring. You have a cup of coffee and then what. Stare at the waves? TWENTY YEARS of that? YEP! TWENTY long years from now, you are finally free cuz kids are in high school or the older one' in college. You can take your creaky bones and re-enter the workplace. The one where you get paid. But remember, now you're Entry level and you're 50 yrs old. Secretaries ask you to bring them THEIR coffee! You are Saint Margaret of the Adoration and you're kicked around some office. You know those rumors that eskimos ask GERIATRIC women to walk out on the ice and feed polar bears. They kiss them goodbye and granny departs cuz she's a useless eater. Well we have our own equivalent of that ritual. Unless you were widowed and left all the bucks in the family! It is called marriage, matrimony and AFTER-matrimony.
Ahhh LIFE is a massive knot of CATCH-22's. Now, take everything I said and throw it thru the ZERO DOOR! It means nothing. Sail on your cruise with happy heart. Find a good man. Be fertile. Breast feed so you bond with the pups and maybe they'll write you on mother's day. BUT do find a career you can do at home in your cottage, cuz babe, twenty years stuck in the cottage is guaranteed. And the world doesn't want you back. HOW TO DO A COTTAGE INDUSTRY, the LEGACY WEBSITE.
There is another choice. Forget cottage industries while you raise kids. SERIOUSLY, aim now, while you are young, exquisite, HOT --for a MULTI-MILLIONAIRE mate, and study import/export as a philanthropic activity. Work with charities now. Show up as an OPRAH, now.But if you can do all that? Why stint the world by having kids? MAKE THE WORLD'S KIDS YOURS.
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Music was invented to confirm human loneliness. -Lawrence Durrell,
novelist and poet (1912-1990)
ANITA SANDS HERNANDEZ has done astrology for the stars of Hollywood for 48 years, studied stargazing and palmreading for another two decades before that. Her mother was a master astrologer, taught it, & didn't charge for readings, did it for love, a member Amer.Federation Astrol. Anita raised four children doing fortunetelling as a cottage industry, does NATAL for 15$ or a fuller natal chart a YEAR AHEAD, 12 MONTH Reading for $108, sends you 200 thousand bytes back by email. Often 20 pgs long. write: firstname.lastname@example.org
HER FOUR websites have hundreds of articles on love, social reform, psychology, holism, the art of politically aware filmwriting /selling & new age mind tech to stay glued, holistic recipes to rejuvenate ten yrs, how to prevent every genetic disease in your family tree, so visit her guru's site, http://home.earthlink.net/~loveguru/ and her sites, http://home.earthlink.net/~anitaastrologer/ and http://www.luckinlove.com and http://home.earthlink.net/~astrology/