NEW WORKSHOP AND SEMINAR OFFERED!
STUDY COURSE FOR THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE-In these modern times of
stress and crowding, as more of us are forced to live under one roof, it is
incumbent upon the churlish to perfect the art of being difficult.
For that
reason, famed Hollywood Guru, stargazer to the Stars of Hollywood, Anita Sands now offers a groundbreaking Course: PASSIVE AGGRESSION 101. This is a seminar you must take. In it, YOU WILL LEARN
'state of the art' P.A. Technology ! Yes! Up 'til now, you've been nasty on the
natch but why should you be ordinary in anything you do? There have been
important developments in behavioral systems developed for the torture of
so-called superior (but really meeker) humans ---by surlier, burlier
ones ---and, as an even cursory purusal of the curriculum of this workshop will
prove, tricks in terror can be taught! You can become a doormat with TEETH.
HOW?
It pays
to stay au courant. Things have moved a great way from the early days of
simple, caveman aggression. Advanced studies take basic human aggressiveness
and refine it into sublime and ever more evolved manifestations. Use the
same old Cro-Magnon fist but shroud it in a Third Millenium velvet glove!
P.A.
Studies 101 does not involve putting aside the mortal weapon. Oh no. It
involves a lighter touch on a smaller, more streamlined club, targeting more
mortal spots on the enemy. Take this class and become the shit you always
wanted to be!
Watch me DRIVE MOM WILD! hehehehe!
SAMPLE of
P.A. 101. TEXTBOOK, Course Material: "THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE DICTIONARY"
ATTITUDE:If you must go through room occupied by enemy, walk quickly,
do not engage eyes. If they speak to you, direct a breezy
response back over your shoulder as you depart room. This is the proper
attitude. And they will call it an attitude, too!
BEATITUDE- When you can
muster enough PA tech to leave the Enemy on the floor, or calling up their
pals, on the phone, whining, snivelling, weeping, embarassing themselves by
begging the friend to intercede and act as a communicator, you have succeeded.
And when the Enemy's pal asks Enemy never to call them again as long as they
live, you are in your glory. Congratulations. You are as good as a PA can get.
BLACK
EYE- is what foolish passive
aggressives give to their mates. Cops come. No good. Never leave fingerprints
on a weapon or victim. Frown lines, tear smudged mascara cannot be traced back
to you!
COLLECTING INJUSTICES --OR THE VALUE OF SCREAMING AND YELLING- (not YOUR screaming.
THEM!) When people have too much
patience and calm, and constantly summon the strength to be calm around you, it
is incumbant upon you to DOUBLE DOWN on being outlandish. I'm talking
double-dip nasty. Be hugely provocative. Make them totally lose their
cool. Do exactly the opposite of what they tell you to do. Ignore any request.
They say, 'don't leave, do the work,' LEAVE and neglect the work and come back
and tell them what fun places you went and amusing, creative things you did
while they were stuck doing the work. If they say don't make noise. CHATTER AND
PLAY THE RADIO. When you have them blowing up, screaming and yelling say
in a gentle, pained manner, 'See? You're an angry rageaholic bitch to me.' When
you can truly collect an injustice the collateral benefit is that you get to
tell a few of the enemy's friends of the cruel evils the enemy has done to you.
Makes for great gossip down the line. You'll dine for years on these anecdotes.
CONTROL
TRIP:
If the Enemy can approach you and talk, he will ultimately control you. Always
avoid conversational approaches. As a chatty Cathy comes at you, or as Enemy
moves toward you with mouth open, immediately trip switches that leave them
powerless. Lock yourself in your own room, forcing them to bang, cajole, talk
through the door. That leaves them in total powerlessness. Then to absolutely
seize control, tell them you don't like being yelled at through a door, that it's
insulting. This is called a reverse switch and leaves most authority
figures completely stymied, and stupid ones, feeling guilty in the bargain.
CHATS- Avoid consorting directly with the enemy. No idle
conversation at any time. If you wanna chew the fat, try the enemy's friends
who will then drive the Enemy crazy telling him/her what a good kid you
are. How great, how charming, how conversational, how well rounded, befuddling
Enemy even more than he/she is.
CREATIVITY- This is the subtlest way to FUCK your housemates up. Do
something ostensibly kind and creative, like planting the lanai or cooking a
meal, only tear their pansies and ivy which they grew from tiny cuttings, tear
them out of the ground --ripping their roots to shreds, then hammering the
amputees into a thimble ‘til they’ll fit in the lanai. Or, take the DUCK they
were going to cook for their party guests, and cook it YOURSELF, but do it at 9
a.m., while the housemate is asleep. So they can wake from sleep 5 hours early
smelling their dinner roasting, and as they’re screaming, and haven’t slept a
wink, their party totally went bye-bye! Then act consternated that they don’t
appreciate your fine work, and now, you have a real gripe, you were the
mistreated one, and now you can tear down the lanai and throw the half roast
duck in the trashcan with impunity as you were the wronged one.
DIVERSIONS: 1.) Distractions you create for yourself when you get too
close to a loving person. Diversion can be your friends, work, business appts.,
lodge or union meetings or cleaning your gun. 2.) FUN things for the Passive
Agressive: looking great, great wardrobe, image. Great cars. The 'I Am
and You're Not' game. One-up-manship.
DRIVES-1. Noun form:i.e basic needs. Forget ‘em; the better
you are at PA tech, the less drives you will have. Eat, sleep, use jerks and
fuck them over. Why make life any more complicated than it already is? 2.
Verb form: Drives as in moving car. When the enemy is asleep, take the
family car, disappear. Go to interesting, scenic spots which they don't have
time to visit as they must work all the time to pay your rent. Try to get their
VISA card so you can get gas, food, even lodging. If you're a teen PA, and many
of you are, no matter that you aren't licensed. Cops will never find you,
you're too smart for social or legislative codes. So what if cops confiscate
your parents' car. Serves the dummies right!
GONE
TOO FAR?- IF your behavior accidentally
moves into the realm of really gross, bad manners, (which is overtly
AGGRESSIVE, and not a mode you want to be CAUGHT IN because the simps will be
at your throat in a second,) correct trajectory; do a teeny weeny 'make nice'
payback. Understand, this is not the real thing, so you do not have to
compromise your basic, brutish values. Always choose a SAFE pretext or tactic.
You don't have to decide on one beforehand. The Devils of Hell will inspire you
with something, hopefully not related to areas of stress. Example: Enemy is
upset over your playing with their PC until it broke. So offer to fix it. Stick
it in your car trunk. Doesn't matter if they never see it again. Or say enemy
is irritated with your borrowing their car keys and driving in their car, or
your lack of chattiness, or your eating the last of the kippers then locking
yourself in your room when they screamed that kippers were 6 bucks a
package---In such cases, approach enemy, NOT recontritely or nicely but
neutrally, offhandedly say: 'would you like some tea?' It is not required you
actually brew decent tea. That would push you too far back into servile
terrain. Just give it at room temperature. They'll get the point: you are
wonderful and they aren't.
GREAT
ESCAPES-No matter where the enemy has
taken you, to whose fabulous house, to what wonderful party or dance, to what
rehearsal of what play that's soon to open off-Broaday, once you're there,
develop a peeve. You're hungry, you have to walk to a shop and eat. Do they
have money? If the refuse, demand to be taken home. If they won't , sit
sullenly, clicking on something or brooding conspicuously until others
intercede on your behalf. Last resort, just leave, hitchike, let them
worry, let them sweat it. If they scream with worry when you come in the door
at 3 a.m. say ultra-benignly that you walked home and why did they worry? They
weren't considerate of your feelings at the terrible place you escaped from.
HARMONY- Why should we have any harmony on earth? Life sucks. Earth
is a place for SUFFERING. You're suffering, why shouldn't everyone
else? Be the Equalizer with your own brand of the Golden Rule. Not to give
others what you yourself want... No way! Your job is to give others what you got.
Every glad ass is trying to sell some dumbfuckin' harmony seminar. It's
on every street corner. Harmony has been done to death. COSMIC TRUTH: There's
harmony everywhere EXCEPT on earth. That's how God made it. Don't try to fix it
if it ain't broke. If God meant for humans to be happy automatically he
wouldn't have given babies painfully hungry stomachs, wee-wees, ammonia in
diapers, mucus in noses, soft skulls that crush with a minor fall off a bed,
necks that break with the slightest slap!
MEDIATION: Never let yourself be dragged into any mediation.
Intercessions are just a fancy word for mediation and enemies often try to do
them with plural mediators. If you see one coming, lock yourself behind doors
or get out of the house.
NEGOTIATION: As a beginner,
REMEMBER this simple rule: avoid negotiating at any cost. When someone with
NEEDS talks to you, like a need to negotiate, pretend to be swatting a thousand
flies around your head, while walking backwards NODDING, move toward your room.
Close and lock both doors. Then, go into silence. As you've changed terrain,
there's no danger of being sucked into negotiation which is the death knell of
a P.A. Only a very hig tech-P.A. can negotiate effectively. In the hands
of a master, it's big artillery, however.
NEGOTIATION:
ADVANCED COURSE. Face to face, verbal engagement, done quickly. The winner
will be the one who can hold their ground,--literally keep their feet in the
same square of earth the longest. As the Enemy is using TRUTH and you are using
P.A. SPEAK, the need to parry, feint and dodge is all you have. The onus will
be on you. They will attack and you must parry, feint or dodge. A P.A. rarely
gets to attack, but when the Enemy leaves himself open, you can and will
attack. Attack can be the secret to the Master Game and the total upperhand. EXAMPLE:
ENEMY: You disappeared last night in my car. P.A. PARRY: Who could stay in
this dump with you? Note that a good parry absolutely stops them dead, defies a
logical answer. And using a Betty Davis persona to deliver a retort scores
double points. Result: You easily win that round. EXAMPLE: ENEMY:
"You never want to talk with me." BAD ANSWER: Your breath smells.
GOOD ANSWER: "You don't talk. You just harangue." LOGIC: first
assertion can be discussed and proven false, also, quoted later to make you
look mean-spirited. The second cannot, will not, as it's fairly close to
accurate. What is more --it is a comment that can be delivered with a little
pathos and you do get points for pathos, points which sometimes will take you
far enough ahead to win where you couldn't win with logic alone.
HOT
TIP! FOR FREE NEGOTIATION P.A. STUDIES, LISTEN TO THE GREAT RADIO SHOCK JOCKS. You will learn ways to cause people grief with verbal
daring you never imagined. You'll learn about triggers, flare points. When you
talk with people, your goal is to TRY TO GET THEM TO TOTALLY LOSE CONTROL. FIND
A SHORT HAIR AND PULL IT. Go for their ego and keep up until they smash their
hand thru window and hurt themselves, or (better yet) try to hurt YOU.
SHARING-Ever notice how high horse the enemy gets when you have the
flu? It really deserves a get-back. Here you are feeling stuffy, headachy,
feverish, unable to sleep and they're perky as a squirrel going "More tea?
Can I get you a Mango smoothie?" Implied by all this wussy pussy energy is
'where'd you fuck up, you little maniac that you're this ill? You wanna eat Big
Macs with change stolen from my purse, you goddamn pay the price. Look at me.
I'm in perfect health. I eat spinach. I never get the flu." Well,
fuck them and the bale of hay they rode in on. They're made of steel maybe, but
you've got an endless supply of kryptonite. You'll show them! The thing to do
is get them in a corner where they can't get away like when they're reading to
you, sitting downwind and cough right in their face. Don't bother to turn your
head or cover your mouth, just casually HACK in their face. Make sure a
shower of spit falls on their lips, eyes and nose. If they call you on it, do a
wide-eyed huh? Like, aren't you testy. Here I'm the one dying of a l08 fever
and you expect me to HOLD BACK every cough just because you insist on sitting
with me and reading me Peter Wabbit?" Then when they come down with your
flu and are lying in bed missing work, hacking, as you go out the door, remind them
to drink mango smoothies. It's not expected you make it for them. You're not
Florence Fucking Nightengale. You're Greta GetBack.
TRICKS:(enemy's) Beware of this Enemy trick. They will sneak wax
earplugs into their ears, and when you lay into them with vicious rap, in their
inner mind they will concentrate on the syllables, "out of God comes all
creation" or some such puerile thought. They will say it repeatedly to
themselves, meanwhile, they will look right into your eyes with peace and love,
look for the divinity in you and feel great love for you and they won't be
listening to one salient word of your nasty rap. If they adopt this tactic and
have no visible 'flight or fight' response, you will quickly burn out, feel
guilt hence love, lose the battle and will have to eat shit, later, for your
nastiness. Beware of earplugs! Saints have trainers and are going high tech but
this course will prepare you for dealing with their wimp tricks.
POWER
PLAY-As
you don't want to be loyal, sympathetic, or conversational, as you don't want
to study, work, create, be an artist, make money, or pay rent you unfortunately
get (or are entitled to) very small increments of legitimate power. Well, maybe
NONE. For that reason, you have to seize all opportunities to be in control, to
keep your emotional dance from and to bash all other, more developed beings but
do so in a subtle way so your fingerprints aren't on the weapon. Give no praise
ever. Give no acknowledgement, ever. Never follow an order, never accede to a
request, even a polite one. These are the basic P.A. power strategies. The
mainstay of your arsenal is to scream that whatever they said is wrong and they
are stupid and to prove it with logic and top it off with the claim 'I'm having
a good life. It's not my problem if you're not.'
REFUTE- Any blanket statement not l00% complimentary must be
refuted with bravado, logic and energetic dialectic. Let them be right in
statements on trivial issues. Pecan is better than apple. Fine. Mozart beats
Chopin. No argument. When they edge onto YOU as a subject, you lose points if
you don't refute immediately because if you don't, the accusation gets
written in stone in the Holy Book and later they will quote it as gospel.
SABOTAGE- The Passive Aggressive will not even be aware at times that they deliberately sabotage. If a primary trigger is pressed, jealousy of a rival… fear of the loss of a primary love object to that rival, they will sabotage their closest friend or relative and betray them to an astounding degree. Later, invariably, it will be visible to all concerned that this sabotage was done for only one reason, not a logical one, a desire to SEPARATE two other people who might show signs of getting together if only for the most innocuous reasons. (Help me fix my Computer, Do you have X software? Can you show me how to do this kind of work?) . They will lie, gossip, reveal secrets, intercede in the most obvious way, not even deviously, just put up any, panicky obstacle. They can make a real mess just to stop the red alert warning in their brain that two others are about to have a friendly relationship. The sabotage and the reasons almost always show up boldly afterwards. They will then mewl and puke and say their brains were scrambled, that they’re a twit, that they didn’t realize, so sorry, oh how they rue it but they did accomplish their aim, so were they really all that addled?
SUSPICION- It is natural for PA's to have suspicion when anyone is
NICE to you. You may want to come right out and accuse them of being nice just
so you will feel guilty, miss them, love them, or fall into their power. Don't
say any of these things, ever. When people are nice to you be curt. This must
be a lifelong discipline. NEVER voice suspicions. There's a nasty word for
rampant suspicion...PARANOIA and they can lock you up for it.
TRANSFORMATION- This is what namby pamby people plan for you. To make you
a soft, cream-filled simp like they are, whether thru AA, Scientology or YOGA,
vegetables or herbs and supplements or co-joint therapy is not the point. The
point is --- TRANSFORMATION is not the Master Plan so deride transformation
technology. Articulate, religious vehemence is required. Derision and Insults
only work if backed up by sordid facts. Buddha was overweight, that guru broke
the Mann Act and was a pedophile. This saint was seriously into offshore
banking in the Caymans. Freud sniffed coke. No matter how fine the restaurant,
how big the menu or how delicious the food, find one cockroach and no one will
ever eat there again.
WORK- NOUN form. A salaried task or job they choose to
pursue outside the home to be able to pay your rent and food when nobody
asked them to do either. When they mention your working, and paying for their
food and rent, (patently ludicrous,) pretend to be agreeable, pretend to
look at classifieds. Even circle things. Pretend to hand out any flyers they
print up for you --- meaning, go for a long walk and come back with flyers
folded into a wad and hidden in your coat. Leave them under mattress for them
to find years later. If they dare come up with a potential boss figure, and
arrange an interview, allege that boss made improper sexual insinuations toward
you and refuse to ever talk to him again. If they happen to be there at the
meeting, keep saying ‘she wants me to work. I don’t want to, who’s right?’ No
danger at all the guy will hire you and he’ll escort your mother out the door
post haste, embarassing the fuck out of her. You can't do that trick twice in a
lifetime, so next time she sends you out on a job interview, swear the guy was
fruit and tried to grab you.
As
for WORK IN THE HOME? Handy man chores
and mindless housework? The trick is REFUTING that the work even needs doing,
with much amazement. Like 'what? This wall? It's perfectly clean! Or this
carpet? Vaccuum won't help it. Needs a steam cleaner. " Or, put down a
mattress pad? Why? I like it the way it is." Never ever say
"No, I won't do that job." Your tormentors can get pretty outraged
and start talking about your living on the street with ‘the other bums,’ as
they love to say. Alternative: let them scream for a day or two, then do the
work, but waaaay later, and only after they stop screaming. That way you sorta
lose but you also sorta win. :>)
So, join
the California Transformation movement, study with famed Guru, Anita Sands at
her new seminar, 'How to be A Passive Agressive' and learn how to make the
world pay for your boredom or unhappiness. No longer just an unhappy accident,
today, aggression can be an art form.
* * *
THAT WAS
THE HUMOROUS SIDE OF PA and ALSO an easy-to-read PRIMER on RECOGNIZING the kind
of things that PA's can DO to you but here is the serious side of this syndrome.
PASSIVE AGGRESSION, the BEHAVIOR OF STUPID PEOPLE, or THE
sign that someone's a member of the 'WALKING WOUNDED?'
Passive
aggressive behavior is a feature of a sloppy, reactive mind. 
The hostile, twisted
pranks of a P.A. are a dead giveaway that some trouble in processing
'reality' exists. The low-functioning brain (a non-reality-processing mind) is
like a wild dog, an untrained dog. This pooch has no sense of being loved. No
trust in those around him. He is out of reality almost to the degree of
Schizophrenia. He is supicious, wary, certain others are plotting against him.
Because of those feelings, he will have many bad habits. He will want
'gitback'. Street justice. He is not openly enraged, testy. He doesn't speak of
his mistrust. He will never cuss or snarl. What he does is with a light
touch, mordant, witty, substitutive. Symbolic acting out. He will vector in on
your best stuff, target it and blithely destroy it. He will lie and believe his
own lies that he didn't know what he was doing. He has the habit of taking what
is not his just because he wants it: your money, car, checkbook, food. He
doesn't look at life's dark side. He may hate someone but he can't give a
reason. He just cuts them dead. The tendency to do a blank out, is pronounced.
I believe the information is not even available to them. They have a light
touch. They don't have the killer's ability to collect injustices and brood.
They forget cause and effect and exhibit no need to get 'revenge' but what's
eerie is that they get it with little, perverse games designed to enrage
others.
This
kind of an unorganized mind has many 'automatic' traits: the grass is greener
syndrome, a lack of gratitude, jealousy of the fruits of others' work: their
car, their sweetheart, their clothing, their beauty. Other collateral
adjustment problems saw to it that they never dud anything that would require
work, like a career, a big education. They work 'any ole job that comes along.'
They covet the 'easy' things that others have and they often will have the
impulse to take them. You could put the laws of the Ten Commandments, the 'do
not covet, malign, gossip, steal and kill 'Laws' on a page and these would be
all the impulses of a sloppy, overly reactive stupid mind which cannot sort out
reality from fantasy, (subjective events from actual) -- hence the poor bearer
is stumbling around with seriously warped behavior.
The
organized and perceptive mind does not habitually blame others. He's not
editing out his need to educate himself and work and socialize in the real
world, i.e. he is not in chronic denial. He sees that he brings life's
catastrophes upon himself with laziness, unscholarly ways so he avoids that
behavior.
The
logical man has no rage and certainly does not think he should steal from,
brutalize or kill people to even the score, to achieve 'getback.' He may have a
complaint from time to time but even if it's a big one, his perception is
usually reasonable (meaning his interpretation of reality is accurate) so he
will and can discuss it, openly. The reasonable man has no irritation that he
must HIDE his feelings. No, that is the behavior of someone who unconsciously
suspects that his allegations wouldn't 'fly.'
If an
organized mind is irritated, its bearer can generally define and articulate his
rage to others. He will convince, maybe win. His complaints will stand on their
own two legs. Not so with the disorganized mind. He has learned that his
complaints are chronic, he's just overly touchy, his assertions are without
foundation and he has learned that discussing them probably will not
bring him others' agreement. Thus, he cannot come right out and tell you openly
what's bothering him. This has gone on for years and every time his
complaints are not handled by an authority figure, the suspicion
grows in him that no one cares, that he will not be able to explain, that he is
not verbally clever, and, foiled time and time again at resolving complaints,
he learns not to go there. Not to get into discussion.
The
passive aggressive personality is not someone who handles any matter. It may be
that he is subnormal in intelligence or verbal skills or has had suppressive
parents but what is for sure is that HE always suspects that he is sub-normal,
cannot win with his authority figure and he is careful not to 'try a case' in a
conversational courtroom because he knows he probably won't convince and win as
he never has.
What
intelligent people invariably discover about people who do not have acme
communication or social skills, is that the 'dummies' are smart enough to
suspect that they are deficient. They are working hard at HIDING it, and as the
very thought that they're slow produces anxiety in them, they are keenly bent
on denial, on hiding it from themselves.
Denial
like rage, is a fungus. A little bit creates more. They spread
easily. The habit of rage or the allied but different habit of burying
feelings, of denial, both become pervasive. A rolling snowball gathering size
and speed. When rage and denial combine, you get the biggest, fastest
rolling snowball of them all, the passive aggressive
So, to
reiterate, a less than clever mind perceives and interprets events badly,
overreacts dramatically yet is habitually talked out of his perceptions,
and ends up feeling weird, undefended, ignored, unloved. He loses
conversational battles, finds he does not defend himself well and thus stops
trying. And cornered, becomes the passive aggressive.
In
family constellations, this is most probably going to happen to the youngest in
a string of boys. The older boys (or the oldest) will 'act out' on the younger
one and (as kids are kids) do so brutally. The elder brother is
jealous of the 'baby' and lives to torture him. He does it subtly, so the
parent who favors the youngster, will never catch the elder brother who will
not only brutalize but never allow the caboose brother to laugh, have fun, play
with the gang, nor ever be 'right'.
The
Elder will taunt and torture The Younger until the pressure of infantile rage
builds in the little guy. A rage that mimics what the Elder one feels. The
older one is angry too, as the baby is getting more 'babying, cuddling and
loving' from the mother than he is. That is what fires him, makes him want to see
the other child hurting, too. The elder brother can be the 'authority figure'
who will never be convinced in an argument, half because the younger sibling
lags in articulateness or intellect, and is chronically bewildered, half
because the torturer is not going to deal logically or be convinced or accept
reason. He's acting maliciously and sadistically.
The
younger sibling learns to fear that he's a dope but in truth, he's only being
tweaked to believe he's dumb by a superior child however, a deliberately mean
one. A passive aggressive can be created by a very specific situation: a mother
showing too much affection to the caboose and letting elder boy see it, (a boy
is not mature enough to process it as legitimate for an infant to be cuddled.)
Seeing this affectionate treatment all the time, keeps the elder boy hurting
and jealous. The younger boy does not have to be stupid or slow, but he soon
learns that he is in comparison to older, competitive siblings who are always
making the point that the younger one is 'slow,' he IS slow.
Passive
Aggressives are not necessarily low-functioning intellectually. A busy,
harassed, non-listening parent can make a passive aggressive out of a
normal child but parents do not have the deliberate, mean streak that an older
brother can have so when you see a passive aggressive, cherchez le frere.
Some
people who have the genetic disposition toward the brain disorder called
schizophrenia, can, in early stages, out of less than perfect brain function,
do all the automatic things that Passive Aggressives do. And genuinely stupid
people can do them, too, but the element of having been tortured by someone
very cruel has to be there, as P.A. tech is about CRUELTY to another.
Genuinely
lowered brain function and limited processing of reality is part of the P.A.
syndrome and of course, that can be genetic. But the environmentally- created
fear that one is low functioning can create the same, reduced self image,
stupidity combined with the fear it will be found out, denial that the low IQ
exists and the final ingredient, having suffered cruelty at the hands of an
enraged authority figure --- are all required for a full blown P.A.
The
history and family constellation of the common, garden variety passive
aggressive as well as the other end of the spectrum, the overt criminal who
takes P.A. to the max, (the serial killer, rapist ) should be examined and most
probably the fingerprints of a cruel, elder sibling as a belittling, goading
creator of this kind of mind and personality warp will be found.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: If
you've read this far, you're probably desperate for information on this mental
malady, so for the real thing, go to http://www.passiveaggressive.homestead.com/links.html and search engines will yield gold.