Disclaimers in part 1

Sarah woke up refreshed in the morning. She quickly grabbed her things and hurried to the shower. A short time later she was on her way downstairs to the kitchen. AJ walked into the kitchen through the back door just after Sarah finished her cup of coffee.

“Good morning, ladies,” AJ said to the women in the kitchen as he leaned down and placed a kiss on Sadie’s cheek. “You’re up early, Grandma. And I’m surprised you’re up at all, Francesca.” He kissed each of them on the cheek.

“It’s already after noon for me, Papa,” Francesca stated as she returned his kiss. She watched as her father unthinkingly leaned down and kissed Sarah on the cheek, also.

“Good morning, Sarah,” he said, a bit surprised that he kissed her.

“Good morning, AJ,” she said, blushing slightly.

“I have a thermos for you with some more of that mud you call coffee,” Sadie said. She didn’t notice the sudden tension in the room.

“Thank you, Sadie, but I don’t see what’s wrong with this coffee.”

“It’s too strong!” she exclaimed.

“Now, Sadie, don’t you know if a branding iron can’t stand up in your coffee, then it isn’t strong enough,” Abby said.

“Thank you, Grandma,” AJ said as he picked up the thermos. Sarah stood up to join AJ. “We’ll see you later. Not sure how long we’ll be.”

“You two have fun,” Abby said as the pair walked out of the kitchen.

Sarah saw that the horses were already saddled and ready to go.

“I wasn't sure of your skill level, so I picked a gentle horse for you,” AJ explained.

“Thank you,” she replied. “I learned how to ride as a kid, but I’ve never been totally comfortable on horses that I’m not familiar with.”

“Mandy is a sweetie, so you don't need to worry.”

“That's okay. I trust you,” she said with a smile. She didn't realize how much he liked hearing that from her.

They rode off and just before the sunrise, AJ stopped them at the top of a rise overlooking the ranch buildings.

"This was one of my favorite spots as a kid. I would sneak up here any chance I got. I was still close enough to the house to hear the bell. Grandma would just ring it if she needed me.”

“You are so lucky.”

“I know. I didn’t always think that though,” he said as he dismounted his horse. Then he held Mandy still as Sarah dismounted.

“Most people don’t realize that when they’re younger,” she said.

“I guess that’s a part of growing up,” he said.

They stood silently watching the sunrise, their thoughts on the past and how they both had such different lives. Once the sun was fully over the horizon, AJ turned to Sarah and broke the silence.

“I told Tony that we would check a couple of the pastures for new calves this morning. Do you mind?”

“Not at all. Just tell me if I need to do anything.”

“We just need to see if there are any abandoned calves. It shouldn’t take too long.”

“Okay.”

“By the way, Sarah. I wanted to thank you for that comment you made last night,” he said as he helped her mount the horse.

“Thank you,” she said as he handed her the reins. “Which comment?”

“The one where you defended my action of breaking Webb’s nose.”

“I couldn’t let your grandmother yell at you for that,” she said while watching him ease into the saddle. “Besides, it was the truth. You were protecting us.”

He looked at her a moment before speaking, “Hell, Sarah. I didn’t say anything about Rabb.” He urged his horse forward before she could respond.

Sarah nudged Mandy forward at a walk, not wanting to fall too far behind but still wanting some time to think. AJ’s comment only reinforced what Francesca had told her about AJ’s feelings for her. She briefly hoped that maybe he did have feelings for her, but then she realized something. How selfish that would be? It would only cause them both pain because there was no way that they could act on any feelings while they were both in the service.

Sarah caught up with AJ a few minutes later, but she didn’t say anything about his comments. They rode through several pastures and spoke of minor things. They were learning more about each other without even realizing it.

They were almost back to the house when AJ spotted a newborn calf that was alone. They stopped the horses and dismounted.

“Just drop the reins: the horses will stay put,” AJ said as he reached into his saddlebags to pull out some soft cloths. “We need to dry this little thing off. Sarah, in your bag is a bottle with some powder in it and an old thermos with some hot water. Would you mix it for me?”

Sarah reached into her bag and pulled out the requested items. Once the formula was ready, she handed the bottle to AJ. She took an extra cloth from AJ and began rubbing down the little dark brown calf. The calf was soon dry and trying to stand on his own. Once he found his feet, he began bleating until AJ pointed the bottle at him. He took it enthusiastically.

“Sarah, do you mind feeding him?” he asked. “I’m going to see if I can find his mother.”

“Not a problem,” she said as she took the bottle.

AJ vaulted on his horse and was gone before she realized it. A short time later, he returned.

'”Did you find the mother?” asked Sarah.

“Yeah, this is probably her first calf. Sometimes they just don't have that motherly instinct yet.”

“That's terrible,” she said as she petted the calf on the forehead.

“Unfortunately, it happens sometimes. That is why we check for any abandoned calves. We better see about getting back.”

“What are we going to do with him?” she asked.

“Take him with us, of course. I'll hold Mandy for you, then I'll hand him up to you.”

Sarah mounted the horse somewhat stiffly, and once she was settled, AJ handed the calf up to her.

“Just drape his legs over the horse and keep an eye on him.”

“But...”

“I'll take the reins and lead you at a walk.”

“Okay,” she said, once again paying too much attention to how he moved as he mounted his horse.

In a surprisingly short time, they were back at the ranch. They put the calf in the barn and, after taking care of the horses, they headed back inside. AJ knew that he was going to have to return to JAG soon. Now that he knew that his grandmother was okay and he had even spent some time with his daughter, he would have to leave. Francesca promised him that she would stop in DC and stay with him for a few days, so he would see her again then. In fact, AJ knew that he should have already left. He didn't really want to admit it to himself, but he knew that had Sarah not been here he would already be gone. And he didn’t want to think of the implications of that.

“I guess I'm going to have to head back home tomorrow,” AJ said.

“I probably better go home, too,” Sarah said with a touch of sadness.

“You are more than welcome to stay. I'm sure Grandma doesn't mind.”

“It's not that,” she said.

“What is it, Sarah?” he asked, taking her arm and leading her to the porch swing instead of inside.

“It's like you are two different people. You are the Admiral whom I’ve known for years, but then you are also AJ.”

“I'm still the same person, Sarah.”

“I know that, but I can't get to know AJ, can I?” she said sadly as she stood up and walked inside.

He sat there surprised for a while; maybe she did have some feelings for him. AJ wasn’t sure how someone so much younger could have feelings for him: but then again, his age never seemed to bother her. They had almost kissed that one time, and she certainly didn’t seem to mind then. As a matter of fact, she almost looked more upset that he had stopped. But, as much as he hated to admit it, Sarah was right; they could never act on it. Unless...

“AJ!” Tony called out. “You out there?”

“Yep. What’s up?”

“You have a problem, Big Brother,” Tony said looking back into the house. “Two of them actually.”

“What?” AJ asked with concern.

“Sarah says she’s leaving.”

“I know. I need to be getting back myself,” AJ explained.

“She’s more than welcome to stay here without you. I mean, she’s fun,” Tony said with a grin.

“She is,” AJ agreed with a small smile. “It’s just complicated.”

“Things are only as complicated as you make them.”

“I didn’t make it this way,” AJ said regretfully. “What’s the other problem?”

“Grandma heard your cell phone ring, so she had me pick it up.”

“I was hoping that no one would call me. What happened? Did Rabb burn the place down?”

“Actually…”

“What?” he exclaimed.

“A Lieutenant Simms called, and it seems that there was a small fire.”

“Oh no. I better call. Where did you leave my phone?” AJ asked.

“Here you go. Take care of this problem, then you can take care of Sarah,” Tony said before walking back into the house.

AJ paused a moment to hope that Tony hadn’t said anything to Harriet about Sarah’s being here. He didn’t think she would say anything but AJ wouldn’t want to put her in an uncomfortable situation.

“JAG Headquarters,” Lieutenant Simms answered the phone.

“It’s Admiral Chegwidden. What did Rabb do?”

“Admiral, is everything okay?”

“Yes, it’s fine now. A family member was in an accident but fortunately, it was a minor one and she is okay now. I heard Rabb tried to burn down the place.”

“Not really, Sir. It was an accident.”

“I would hope so,” he said dryly.

“Commander Keeter stopped by to visit Commander Rabb. They were talking and somehow some papers in Commander Rabb’s trash can caught fire.”

“How did that happen?”

“It seems they were smoking a cigar, Sir.”

“Why?”

“I believe that Commander Keeter is going to be a father, Sir,” Harriet explained.

“So Rabb felt it was necessary to smoke in a non-smoking public facility?”

“Um, yes, Sir.”

“But what I really want to know is why he wasn’t the one to call me,” AJ said in his best Admiral voice.

“He was going to, Sir, but he thought-“

“Was he burned?”

“No, Sir.”

“Was he overcome by smoke?”

“No, Sir.”

“Was he injured in any way?”

“No, Sir.”

“Was he busy tending to anyone who was injured?”

“No, Sir. No one was hurt.”

“Then Rabb should have called me himself.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Is he there?”

“Yes, Sir. Shall I get him for you?”

“No. Just tell him you talked to me and that I’ll be back to have a talk with him tomorrow morning.”

“Yes, Sir. Shall I send someone to meet you at the airport in the morning?”

“No. I’ll probably be in sometime in the afternoon,” AJ said as he walked into the house.

“But Sir, you just said you would talk to the Commander… ah yes, Sir,” Harriet said with a smile. She knew full well that the Commander would be incredibly nervous by the time the Admiral finally arrived.

“Talk to you later, Lieutenant.”

“Goodbye, Sir,” she said as she hung up the phone.

“Everything okay at work, Albert?” asked Abby.

“For the most part.”

“Good. Now you need to talk to Sarah, because she is talking about leaving tomorrow.”

“I know. We really should be getting back.”

“I’m not going to let you leave until you promise to come back with Sarah for a visit.”

“I’ll see what I can do, Grandma. Where is she by the way?”

“I think she was going up to pack.”

“I’m going to have a talk with her,” said AJ.

“Okay. Can you hunt down Tony for me first? I need to have a talk with him, too.”

“I think he’s still in the kitchen, I’ll get him for you.”

AJ gave his brother the message then went upstairs to talk to Sarah. He stood for a moment watching her through the open door before he finally spoke softly.

“Sarah, are you okay?”

She started a bit before she threw him a quick glance and smile. “I’ll be fine.”

He couldn’t help but notice that she said that she would be fine instead of that she was fine. He really appreciated that she had come here, but maybe it would have been for the best if she hadn’t. He hated to hurt her feelings, and he knew that he had. AJ understood all too well; he was beginning to forget that he was an Admiral and she worked for him. He knew he needed to stop this train of thought, so he decided to tell her about his earlier phone call.

“Lieutenant Simms called.”

“How are things at the office?” Sarah asked.

“Fine, other than Rabb’s trying to burn the place down,” he said as he walked into the room.

“NO!” she turned startled eyes to him. He noticed her damp eyes then, almost as if she was nearly crying.

“I’m sorry, Sarah,” he said lightly caressing her cheek. She closed her eyes, and for a brief moment, leaned into his hand before turning away.

“Is everyone okay?” she asked.

“I believe so. From what Harriet said, it was just a small trash can fire. It seems that Commander Keeter stopped by and wanted to celebrate his impending fatherhood with a cigar.”

“In a non-smoking building?” she asked, once again turning his way. He was pleased to see that her eyes were now full of laughter.

“That’s why I told Harriet that I wanted to have a talk with Rabb first thing in the morning. Of course, I have no idea when I’ll be able to get a flight, so I’ll just show up when I can.”

“That’s going to drive Harm crazy.”

“I know,” he said with a devilish grin, causing her to laugh. “Let’s see about grabbing an early lunch. Then we’ll call and arrange a flight.”

“Okay. I can deal with some lunch. Let me finish this and I’ll be down in a few.”

They finished their packing and met downstairs.

“Albert. I need you to do me a favor,” Abby said as soon as they walked into the kitchen.

“What’s that, Grandma?”

“Francesca wants to look at all the old photo albums, and I think that I left them all up at the cabin.”

“I’ll run up and get them after lunch.”

“Or, if you and Sarah take the horses, you can have a nice ride. And you can fix some lunch up there.”

“What do you say, Sarah? Up for another ride?”

“I probably won’t be able to move tomorrow, but sure.”

They put on their coats and boots again, and just before they went outside, Abby handed AJ a saddlebag. He took the bag, assuming it just had some coffee and snacks in it, attached it to his saddle, then held the horse for Sarah to mount. Soon they were headed to the cabin.

“So, what is this cabin?” Sarah asked.

“This was my grandparent’ honeymoon hideaway. They used to sneak up here whenever Grandpa was home on leave.”

“That’s sweet,” she said just before her horse stumbled.

“Sarah?” questioned AJ as he stopped his horse next to hers. Sarah dismounted and held Mandy’s reins while AJ checked her out. “Mandy threw a shoe. We can lead her the rest of the way to the cabin. Tony can pick us up with the trailer.”

AJ mounted his horse, then slid forward, slipped his foot from the stirrup, and held his hand down to Sarah. She put her foot in the stirrup and her hand in his, and with a quick tug, she was in the saddle behind him. And very close to him. She really wasn’t sure that she wanted to be this close to him right now. She was trying to remind herself that this was the Admiral, but all she could think about right now was the feel of him in her arms.

Sarah didn’t realize how close AJ’s thoughts were to hers either. He knew that he was just giving her a ride, but he still enjoyed the feel of her body against his. Maybe a little too much. He was glad that she was behind him so she wouldn’t be able to feel his growing erection.

Thankfully, they reached the cabin soon, and after dismounting they led the horses into the small barn.

“Do most cabins have barns around here?” Sarah asked.

“No. But Grandma loves her horses, so she and Grandpa would ride up here instead of drive. They decided to built a little barn here to care for them. It isn’t much, just one big stall, but it is shelter.”

“That’s good.” Sarah huddled into her jacket and asked, “Has it gotten colder since we left?”

“Maybe a little. How about you go on inside and start a fire? I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“Okay.” She walked out of the and noticed a few more clouds in the sky. Thinking nothing of it, she went into the cabin. By the time AJ arrived in the cabin, the fire was blazing brightly and the teakettle was on the stove.

AJ went to the phone that he had insisted Grandma install and was disappointed to find no dial tone.

“Guess we’ll just have to ride back later. No dial tone. So I wonder what is stocked in this fridge.”

After a little searching, they found the ingredients for a simple, but delicious, spaghetti meal… complete with garlic bread and real Parmesan cheese. They were enjoying their meal, when Sarah happened to look up and see the weather had drastically changed.

“It’s snowing!” she exclaimed.

“What?” he asked, surprised as he turned to look out the window. “Oh, great. I was hoping that we would be able to make it back before the weather changed. I guess I forgot how quickly that can happen around here.”

“So what should we do now?”

“I’m going to check on the horses. Make sure they’ll be comfortable. I’ll be back in a little bit. Maybe we can look through those picture albums.”

AJ pulled his jacket back on and soon disappeared into the swirling white outside. The horses were fine so he gave them a little more hay. He remembered the saddlebag his grandmother gave him, and he grabbed it before heading back to the cabin. He was surprised to see Sarah jump when he walked in and then surreptitiously wipe at her eyes.

“What’s wrong, Sarah?” he asked as he quickly pulled off his outerwear and boots.

“Nothing really. I just keep thinking about that damn plane. I don’t know why. It happened so long ago, I should be over it by now.”

“I have a feeling that there was more to that plane trip than your getting shot,” AJ said gently as he sat down close beside her.

“You're right.  I didn't want to tell anyone what I did.”

“What happened, Sarah?” he asked gently.

“You know that we ran into poachers, right?” she asked. AJ knew very well what had happened with the poachers; Harm had told him everything. But he suspected that Sarah needed to work her way to what was really bothering her. So he didn’t say anything; he just nodded.

“Well, I was shot, but Harm and I managed to get halfway up the mountain.  I had to sit down and rest when we noticed that they were getting closer.” She began to shiver and he knew that it was not due to the temperature. He laid his arm across the back of the couch without touching her until she moved closer.

“I suggested to Harm that he go back to the plane and try to get help, and I would hide.  At first, he refused, but then he did leave to set up a trap of some sort.  I guess the one guy flanked him and managed to find me.”  She shuddered in memory of what happened next. 

“He knew exactly where I was. He set his gun down and drew his knife.  I guess he thought that he could intimidate me more with the knife.  He started to rip my clothes. I somehow managed to turn the knife on him.  He practically died in my arms.”

AJ pulled her into his own arms and held her as she struggled to hold back the tears.

“Sarah, remember what I told you a few years ago?” She looked up at him, unshed tears shining in her eyes, confused. “It’s okay to show emotion, especially when it is warranted.”

She lowered her head to his chest and finally let the tears fall. He pulled her tightly into his arms and just let her cry as long as she needed to.

“Sarah, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he said when she stopped crying. “You simply defended yourself. I’m sure he had no way of knowing that you are a Marine.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that I killed him.”

“It was self defense. I know you could never hurt someone like that in any other way.”

“No one else has believed that.”

“Who did you tell?”

“Dalton and Mic. Dalton was disgusted with me, and Mic, he just didn’t seem to care.”

“They were obviously wrong.”

“Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, Sarah.”

She looked up at him and smiled, changing the subject. “So why don’t you show me some of these photo albums?”

“I’m going to get some hot chocolate. Would you like some?” he asked as he pulled his arm from around her shoulders.

“Sure,” she said. She was glad for the offer, but she was a touch saddened that he was moving away from her.

“Photo albums are in the coffee table,” he said. She reached down and pulled some out while AJ began fixing their drinks.

AJ softly padded back to the couch to see Sarah looking at pictures of him as a small child. She realized that he was behind her even though he hadn’t made a sound. She looked up at him and smiled, then pointed at a photo. He looked down to see a picture of him sitting on his pony. He now understood her smile; he was in tears in the picture.

“Just one question, was it warranted?” she teased.

“Oh very funny, Sarah. I was five.” He leaned against the back of the sofa to tell the story. “It was our birthday and Mom told me Tony could ride our horse Midnight and I had to ride Buttercup.”

“Buttercup?” she said trying not to laugh out loud.

“Yeah, she was a nice little pony,” he said with a smile causing Sarah to finally laugh.

AJ stayed there leaning over her shoulder pointing out photos and telling little stories about each one. He only moved to get the hot chocolate and bring it back. He did surprise her by staying where he was, behind the couch. She guessed that it was easier for him to see the photos that way. AJ told her more and more stories about his siblings and how he would always solve problems and, in general, be a perfect child.

“I think I want to ask your grandmother about some of these stories,” she said with a smile.

“Why?” he said, his voice dripping with innocence. She chuckled as she continued flipping the pages.

AJ fell silent as he looked at one photo on the page. Not recognizing the person, Sarah asked who the woman was.

“That’s my mother,” he said softly, lightly tracing his fingers over the photo. “She hated having her picture taken, so there aren’t too many of them. This was on her 30^th birthday. Grandma insisted on having a photo of Mom on Beauty. Mom died the next day.”

“What happened?”

“We had a fight. You know how kids are. I was twelve and pestering Mom to let me learn to drive and she wouldn’t let me.”

“At twelve?”

“Kids drive a lot earlier on a ranch. I was driving the tractor since I was seven. That’s only because I was tall and my feet reached the pedals. Most of my friends at school were driving, so I decided I needed to, also. Mom didn’t agree. I told her that I was going to grow up whether she liked it or not, so she might as well just let me drive.”

He fell silent again. Sarah looked over at him. She hadn’t realized that he was as close to her as he was; if she just leaned over she could kiss him. She saw a sad and thoughtful look in his eyes.

“I was mad at her, so I took a horse and rode off. I didn’t know it, but she followed me. I finally calmed down and realized that she just didn’t want me to be hurt. I rode back home, planning to tell her how sorry I was. I wasn’t able to. I found her about a mile from the ranch house. Her horse had thrown her. She hit her head on a rock. When I found her it, was too late to do anything.”

He stopped talking and Sarah knew that he just couldn't say anything else. She did the only thing she could think of, she turned and embraced him.  He held her tightly for a few moments before pulling away.  He noticed that her eyes were a bit damp, and he was amazed that she would come close to crying over something that happened so long ago. 

AJ picked up the empty mugs and turned to go to the kitchen. She let him go, knowing that he needed some time to himself. She knew that he was lost in thought about the memories of losing his mother, and he was probably still feeling guilt over it. Sarah also knew that he was thinking of how close he was to losing his grandmother.

Finally, he walked back into the living room, causing Sarah to turn her attention back to him. She noticed that he was carrying the saddlebag that his grandmother had given him.

“What’s in the bag?” she asked.

“Not a clue. Grandma gave it to me. I guess it’s just snacks,” he said as he opened it. “Snacks, just like I thought. Here’s something for you.”

“I wonder what this is,” she said as she opened the small brown bag he handed her. He read a letter that was included for him. “Oh my God!” she exclaimed.

“What?” he looked up in surprise.

“Your grandmother sent us oysters and a box of condoms!”

“I swear, I don’t know how that woman does it,” he said after a moment of stunned silence.

“She just wants you to be happy,” Sarah said.

“I know that, but what I don’t know, Sarah, is how she arranged it with the damn horse or the weather man!”

They laughed a moment, then she asked, “What’s the letter say?”

Albert,

I love you like the son I never had. You and Tony both. I hope you both know that. I just want you to be happy, and I'll do whatever I can to make that happen. Tony has found his love, and I think that you have finally found yours. I know you two haven't spoken of your feelings, but you need to. Don't let that be a regret that you look back on late in your life. I know you love her. I've known that for years, Albert. Even if I couldn't hear it in your voice, I can see it in your eyes when you look at her. I suspect that she feels the same, but she is afraid. I think she's been hurt before and you need to show her that “Albert the man” can ease those fears. Forgive me for butting in, but once I say this, whatever happens between you, stays between you two. Show her the man behind the Admiral, the sometimes shy and romantic Albert. And remember, you were that Albert long before you were the Admiral.

Love, Grandma

“Do you think she knows?” asked Sarah.

“No, she couldn’t,” he insisted. “I’ve called you Sarah since we got here, and I’ve never said that Mac was Sarah.”

“Why have you called me Sarah? I don’t mind, not at all. It’s just that you’ve always called me Mac.”

“Because I work with Mac, and Sarah... Sarah’s different,” he said softly, not meeting her eyes.

“But I’m both of them,” she said.

“But Sarah I can fall in love with,” he said meeting her eyes finally, showing her the feelings that he had hidden for a long time.

“Oh, AJ. I shouldn’t have come here,” she turned away but was stopped by AJ.

“I’m glad you did. Grandma was right.”

“About what?”

“About what happens here, stays here.”

“AJ. Maybe someday-“

“Hell, I don’t want to wait for someday,” he said. “Sarah, I’ve lost too many people in my life. I don’t want to lose you.”

Sarah met his eyes and watched as he slowly leaned down and kissed her. At first, she was unable to respond, but when he moved to pull away she wrapped her arms around his neck. He pulled her tightly to him, pressing his growing erection against her, causing her to moan into the kiss. He finally broke the kiss and, resting his forehead against hers, he spoke again.

“I think I really need to stop.”

“AJ, what happens here, stays here,” she said as she took his hand and led the way to the bedroom, stopping only to pick up the box of condoms.

Sarah pulled off her sweater before she turned around and that AJ had done the same. She then reached for his undershirt and pulled it off. She looked at his chest and noticed a scar.

“How did I know you had that scar there?”

“You saw it.”

“No. I think that I would remember if I saw you without your shirt on.”

“Yesterday morning. You were half-asleep, and I was coming out of the bathroom. All I had on was a towel.” She suddenly flushed.

“That wasn’t a dream?”

“No,” he said with a smile.

“Oh, my God. What else happened?”

“I said ‘good morning’ and you went in to the bathroom. Why?”

“There was a little more to the dream than that,” she mumbled.

“Why don’t you tell me?”

“I’d rather show you,” Sarah said as she reached for his belt. “Of course, you were just wearing the towel, but I think I can improvise.”

“So what were you wearing?” he asked, his voice husky.

“A towel. We bumped into each other and I almost lost my towel. I apologized then looked at you. I saw your chest, which I’ve always imagined would be nice and hairy,” she said as she ran her hands across his chest.

“I couldn’t resist looking down and I noticed you growing under your towel,” she slipped her hand into his boxers and cupped his rapidly growing erection. “Just like this. You leaned down and kissed me and unfortunately, or fortunately, I totally forgot about my towel.”

AJ finally regained enough control to reach out and undress Sarah as she told him more about her dream. Soon, she was only wearing her lacy bra and panties.

“I did the only thing I could think of. I pulled you closer but that just dislodged your towel and it fell too. We were skin to skin, and we both knew this was going to happen and quickly. You pushed me back into the bedroom, and in just seconds you were and inside of me.”

“I promise not to be that quick, Sarah.” AJ unsnapped her bra then eased her down to the bed, kissing her the entire time. He stood up and removed the rest of his clothes before climbing into bed beside her. He skimmed his hands along her torso and legs before dipping under the lace of her panties. AJ pulled her panties off and kissed his way up her body.

“Are you sure, Sarah? Do you want me to stop?”

“If you stop, AJ, I’ll hurt you,” she said.

He reached for the condoms and put one on, then he eased on top of her.

“Please, AJ. I need you.”

Knowing that they’d both had enough foreplay for now, AJ pushed into her. Both of them moaned in delight as he paused. Sarah squeezed her muscles around him, and she pulled his head closer to kiss him. He steadied himself with one arm as he slipped the other between their bodies to find her clit. He began to move as she writhed beneath him. Soon, he cried out her name as he climaxed, causing her to follow. Not wanting to crush her, he rolled off her, disposed of the condom, then pulled her back into his arms. They lay there watching each other, both still a little surprised this finally happened. Sarah finally broke eye contact, and after nuzzling into his arms, she fell asleep.

AJ woke up about an hour later and noticed the temperatures had fallen even more. He made sure that Sarah was covered with enough blankets before he tried to slip out of the bed to stoke the fire.

“AJ?”

“I’ll be right back, Sarah. I’m just going to check the fire.”

“I’ll come with you,” she said as she wrapped herself in the blanket.

“You don’t have to.”

“I know, but I want to stay with you.”

“I’ll be right back,” he said with a smile.

“I don’t know how much time we’ll have, and I don’t want to miss any of it,” she said.

“Bring a blanket for me,” he said as he grabbed his jeans and slipped them on.

They walked into the living room, and Sarah ensconced herself on the couch. She took pleasure in watching AJ as he tossed a few logs on the fire. He soon joined her, pulled her into his arms, and they just sat there. They didn’t speak; they just listened to the fire crackle and watched the snow fall. AJ dropped a kiss on her hair and she look up at him. As Sarah reached up to lightly trace her fingers over his bare scalp, she dislodged the blanket, revealing a full breast.

“Where are your clothes?” he asked.

“In the bedroom,” she answered with a smile.

“All of them?” She just nodded. “Let’s see,” he grinned as his hand delved beneath the blanket to find she had indeed spoken the truth.

AJ’s hands were soon roaming freely beneath the blankets causing her to squirm. She gasped when his fingers finally found her slick folds between her legs. His other hand trailed back up to her breast as he reached down and began to kiss her on the neck. Sarah was soon breathing heavy under the ministrations of AJ’s talented fingers.

“You’re beautiful, Sarah. Come for me,” he whispered.

She stiffened in his arms a moment, then she shuddered in ecstasy. Once Sarah caught her breath, she turned to AJ and kissed his neck.

“Your turn,” she said as she began to ease her way down his torso.

Suddenly, her stomach rumbled loudly.

“I’m sorry!” she exclaimed.

“That’s okay, Sarah. I’m rather hungry for some food myself.”

AJ headed into the kitchen as Sarah slipped away to the bathroom to dress. When she returned, AJ was looking through the freezer trying to decide what to fix for dinner.

“Steak, fries, and greens?”

“Sounds good. What can I do to help?”

“Toss this in the microwave and defrost it, if you don’t mind,” he said, handing her a frozen London broil.

They talked more about the ranch as they fixed and then ate dinner. Soon the stories turned from the ranch and growing up to themselves and future plans. Neither one said anything about the military, just other things in which they were interested. Their conversation lasted until AJ asked Sarah what she wanted for dessert.

“You,” she said simply.

“I was hoping you would say that.” He stood up, took her hand, and led her back to the bedroom.

AJ and Sarah woke up in the morning wrapped in each other’s arms. At first, they were both a bit shy, but as they remembered what they shared the day and night before, they snuggled closer. They made love one more time, slow and tender. Sarah was nearly in tears thinking what a wonderfully sweet and generous lover AJ was. Her tears were because she knew they would not be able to do this again. What she didn’t know was that he saw her unshed tears.

They finally showered and dressed before they made breakfast.

“I guess we need to get back,” AJ said, breaking the silence.

“What about Mandy’s shoe?”

“We can just ride double on Captain. Once we get back to the ranch, I’ll have Tony come out here and pick her up.”

They got ready to go back to the ranch then went outside. Sarah looked back at the cabin, knowing that she would always remember it. She petted Mandy on the neck while AJ saddled Captain.

Sarah mounted the horse before AJ, then he mounted behind her. She settled into the saddle, her backside tight to him.

“This is a mistake,” he mumbled making her think that he meant everything that happened, until he said, “You are going to torment me the entire ride back, you know that?”

“So you think I should be behind you?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to move? I don’t mind, as long as I have something to hold on to,” she said as she slipped her hand between them and caressed his semi erection.

“Dear God, Sarah! You are going to be the death of me,” he muttered.

They rode back to the ranch in silence. They were both lost in thought about what had happened and what wasn’t able to happen again. Neither of them realized that they were being watched from the kitchen window. Abby was delighted to see that they were riding double, but she lost her smile when Sarah soon walked from the barn alone. They hadn’t said anything in the barn; they knew that this was goodbye to the intimate time they shared, but neither one could bear to say it.

Sarah walked back into her room and packed her things. Once she was finished, she stood there just looking around the room, once again seeing another side of the man she had fallen in love with. While she was standing there, Abby walked up to the door. She watched for a moment to watch as Sarah lightly traced her fingers over a picture of a young AJ.

“He loves you Sarah,” Abby said quietly.

“I know that AJ loves Sarah but...”

“You’re afraid that the Admiral doesn't love Colonel MacKenzie.”

“He can’t,” she said without thinking. “You know?” she realized.

“From the beginning. Several years ago, Albert started talking about Sarah, and I remembered that Sarah was Mac's first name.”

“Several years ago?”

“Yes. He told me about that time in Italy when Francesca was kidnapped. Albert said that Harm and Mac were being very supportive, but he said that Sarah actually offered him a shoulder. That meant so much to him, and I know he never told you.”

“He’s always been there for me; I just tried to offer him the same,” Sarah said.

“He would talk about cases you were on, and sometimes he would mention Mac and other times, Sarah. If he was proud of you, or scared for you, he usually called you Sarah, other times it was Mac.”

Sarah fell silent for a moment. She suspected that he called her Sarah only when he was happy with her but Mac any other times.

“Did he tell you about my Admiral’s Mast?” she asked softly.

“Yes. I don't think he remembers what he said though. He called you Sarah the whole time. He talked about how you had a tough life and you had made some mistakes but tried to make it better. That’s when I first suspected his feelings. At first, I thought that he was just mildly interested, but more and more he would talk about you as Sarah instead of Mac. And he would say good things and not so good things. I thought you should know that so you don’t think that he doesn’t see the real you. He does. And he loves you, faults and all.”

Abby walked out of the bedroom to leave Sarah to her thoughts. A short time later, AJ and Tony returned from picking up Mandy with the trailer. AJ walked to his room, stopping only for a moment to notice that Sarah had packed all her clothes. He knew that she was going to leave today; he knew he should, too, but that didn’t mean he wanted to. AJ picked up the phone and made a quick call to arrange for a flight. He was hanging up the phone when Abby walked into the bedroom.

“You remember how your mom always that said family was the most important thing to her?” she asked.

“Of course,” he replied.

“I don’t think she ever told you how much her real family meant to her though.”

“I know she was hurt by their not taking her back.”

“That’s the thing, Albert.  They wanted to take her back.”

“What?" he asked, amazed he had never heard this before.

“They just didn't want you.”  He couldn’t say anything.  “They said they would take her back if she would just give you up, marry the man they chose and never speak of you again.”

“When did this happen?  And how come I never heard about it before?”

“The day you were born.  She called her parents, and they came to the hospital. They didn't even want to look at you,” she said heartbroken, remembering AJ as a newborn.

“Your mom listened to them, didn't say a word for a moment, then asked me for you. She just cried silently and held you.  I’m embarrassed to say, I thought she was giving you up and she was saying goodbye. But then she finally spoke.  Her tears were gone, and she said, ‘Sometimes you have to give up something you love for someone you love.’ She looked at her parents and said, ‘I'd like you to meet Albert Jethro Chegwidden.  My son.’  They stormed off.  I never saw them again, not sure if your mother did.”

“Why am I just hearing about this now?’

“I never wanted you to feel guilty for the things your mother gave up for you, Albert.”

AJ fell silent.  Abby knew he had a lot to think about, so she slowly stood up and went to the door of the bedroom.  “Maybe now is the time for you to decide if you want the something or the someone.  The Navy or Sarah MacKenzie.”

He was surprised that she knew Sarah's full name, but then again, maybe he wasn't. AJ picked up the phone again and made a few more calls. Finally, AJ and Sarah walked downstairs, but Sarah remained silent. She was afraid that he would reject her, and she knew that would hurt her terribly. She would much rather remember their one night of pleasure than his turning her away.

She was surprised and a little hurt to see that AJ was in a much brighter mood than she thought was necessary. She didn’t say anything, except to greet Francesca who also came down with her suitcase. Sarah had to admit that she was glad that Francesca was going with them; she wasn’t sure she wanted to be alone with AJ right now. Sarah said her goodbyes, sad to be leaving her new friends. Abby reassured her that she was welcome to visit anytime, with or without AJ.

“I doubt that I'll be able to come back with him,” she said, hoping her tears didn't show.

“Trust him, Sarah.” Abby whispered. “Promise me that, and I'll see you soon.”

“I wish that were true.”

“Sometimes you have to give up something you love for someone you love,” Abby suggested. “Isn't that right, Albert?”

“That's right, Grandma,” he said with a smile. He watched as Francesca and Sarah walked to the bell in the front yard. He smiled as his daughter rang the bell and turned back to wave at the house and Abby like she always did. Then he watched as Sarah sadly rang the bell, not looking back at the house or him.

“Bye, Grandma. I’ll be back sometime soon. I promise.”

“I’ll make sure you do, Albert. Love you, Boy.”

“Love you, too,” he said as he kissed her on the cheek. He walked down the steps and, keeping his eyes on Sarah, he walked to the bell. He winked at his grandmother, and then he rang it. Francesca and Sarah spun around.

“AJ?” Sarah said as she walked to him.

“I called Sheffield a little while ago. Once I sign some paperwork, my retirement will be official.”

“No, AJ,” she said.

“Sarah. As I was just reminded, sometimes you have to give up something you love for someone you love. It’s time for the someone.”

The end