Part 2

Disclaimers in part 1

The Admiral watched as tears welled up in her blue eyes before she exploded.

"How dare you call him that!  He's my husband-"

"Is he?  He said he didn't want to see you, and you left," he said harshly.

"He IS my husband, and he always will be.  I love him.  I don't care about if he has two legs or none. He's still my husband!  If he thinks that I'm leaving him because he only has one leg now, he is so wrong and so are you!"

“Well, if he doesn’t want you…”

“If he thinks that he’s getting rid of me that easy then he has another thing coming!”

“So what are you going to do if he doesn’t want you?”

“I will not raise my son without a father just because he says so,” she insisted.

“At least you get to make that choice. A lot of women didn’t get that choice on 9/11.”

Harriet paused in her rant for a moment before she said, “I know this sounds heartless and mean, but I can’t think of them right now. I feel bad for them all especially the children who will never know their fathers, but I need to think of Bud and AJ right now.”

“Good. What are you going to do?” he asked.

“Other than convincing him that I love him regardless of his legs, I don’t know,” she said as the rest of her anger left her. Finally, the tears came. Harriet cried so long that the Admiral was getting worried about her. He finally pulled away from her and slipped back into the galley returning with bottled water and a box of tissues.

“Thank you, sir,” she said looking a bit embarrassed at him. “I’m not talking about the water, sir. Thank you for making me mad. It was what I needed. How did you know?”

“My sister reacted about the same when our mother passed away. Adele just sat there numb, and didn’t react to anything so I picked a fight with her. I didn’t mean the things that I said, but I knew she would get mad and try to deck me.”

“Did she?” Harriet asked, partially glad to have something else to think about for a moment.

“Lieutenant, my sister is about a foot shorter than I am, and I was trained to be a Navy SeAL,” he said gruffly, but showing a bit of a sparkle in his eye.

“I take it that’s a yes then.”

“Damn if she didn’t give me a black eye. I didn’t care that she hit me, I just wanted to make her feel better,” he said.

“Did Bud tell you about the promise I had to make?” Harriet asked a few minutes later.

“No, I made Marcella promise the same thing. It was tough but I just wanted to make her and Francesca happy. I never realized how hard it was until after she left, and did get remarried.”

“I don’t know what to do now, sir,” Harriet said sounding a bit lost.

“Why don’t you call Webb and see what he can come up with?”

“Isn’t it very early in London?” she asked.

“Yes, I do believe it is,” he smiled. “I’ll go back and fix some coffee. Give you some privacy.”

“Thank you, sir,” she said. Even though she didn’t want to wake him, Harriet dialed Webb on the cell phone he had given her.

“Harriet? Do you need anything?” he asked immediately.

“No, Mr. Webb. We’re on our way back to Naples.”

“Bud…?” he asked.

“He’s stabilized and will be flying into Naples later today.”

“He isn’t with you?”

“No,” she said trying not to let him hear the tears still lingering in her voice.

“Harriet. What happened?” he asked softly.

“He doesn’t want to see me,” she mumbled.

“Why not?” he asked a bit amazed.

“He thinks I won’t love him anymore just because he doesn’t have a leg.”

“What?” he exclaimed, not intending to be so loud.

“He was unconscious when we got there and when he woke up he said he didn’t want to see me.”

“Harriet he doesn’t mean that.”

“I know. He meant it when he said it and I decided to respect his wishes for the moment but he isn’t getting off so easy.”

“Good. Is there anything that you need?”

“I don’t think so. You’ve done so much already. I don’t know how I can ever thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it. It was nothing.”

“It wasn’t nothing to me,” she insisted, but let the subject drop for the moment. “Now that I know that Bud is stable and will coming home, I just want to see my son.”

“I’ll arrange the flights for you so you don’t have to worry about that.”

“Thank you again.”

“That’s not necessary. Call again if anything comes up,” he said before hanging up.

Harriet sat for a few moments thinking about how kind Mr. Webb was being. He really did hide his soft heart well but she knew it was there now. She knew that she was going to have to make some more calls. Knowing that it was too late to call her son, she decided to call the Colonel and Commander before she called Bud’s father.

“MacKenzie.”

“Mac, it’s Harriet.”

“You weren’t at work today, is everything okay?”

“Not really, ma’am. I found out last night that Bud was in an accident.”

“What happened?”

“I’m on the way to Naples right now,” Harriet said not mentioning that she was flying from Bahrain having already seen him. “It’s still a little touch and go but he should be okay. He did lose his leg though.”

“Is there anything that I can do?”

“Not that I can think of. Just keep thinking good thoughts.”

“Of course. I wish I could be there for you,” Mac said.

“I know and just hearing that makes me feel a little better. I know that you are the acting JAG and you can’t leave, but just the offer is sweet. I had better run. I need to call the commander then Bud’s father.”

“Would you like me to call Harm?”

“Actually, that would save me a little bit of time. I’ll make sure to call you both when I hear more.”

“Okay, Harriet. If you need anything give me a call at any time.”

“Alright,” Harriet said before she ended the one call and called her father in law. He wasn’t in so she left a message for him to call her when he got in. The rest of the flight was uneventful, except for the phone call that the Admiral received.

“Chegwidden,” he barked into the phone after he picked it up.

“Sir, it’s Harm. Mac just called me. Have you heard about Bud?”

“Yes, I have,” he said sadly.

“Mac said Harriet is on her way to Naples to be with Bud.”

“Yes, she is,” the Admiral stated.

“I’m on my way to the airport. I wanted to let you know that I was leaving the country.”

“I don’t think you should show up without talking to Harriet first. Give her a call.”

“I don’t know her phone number, sir.”

“Then wait until she calls you back and ask her then. I don’t want to have to make that an order.”

“Yes, sir,” Harm said knowing that he couldn’t go now. He just hoped that Harriet understood.

Chegwidden hung up his phone and turned to Harriet before speaking.

“Harm wants to come to Naples as I am sure that you heard. I was thinking that since you don’t want Bud to know that you were on the Seahawk, the fewer that knew that we were there, the better.”

“You’re right, sir. I hadn’t thought of that. How long do you think it will take to refuel so we can get back home?”

“It usually doesn’t take too long but the pilots need to sleep so we are going to stay in Naples.” He could tell that she was about to protest but he continued before she could. “That way we can also check on Bud before we carry on.”

“Yes, sir,” she said knowing that it would be unwise to suggest catching a commercial flight.

Moments later, the pilot announced that they were going to be landing shortly. Soon they had landed and walked off the plane, both surprised to see someone waiting for them.

"Papa," called Francesca.

"Francesca, how did you get here so quickly?" asked her father as he gave her a hug.

"I was at Mama's when you called. Harriet, I am sorry about your husband. Papa has spoken highly of the both of you. If there is anything that I can do, don't hesitate to call."

"Thank you," Harriet said before unsuccessfully suppressing a yawn.

"How about we leave now? Mama insisted that you stay at her villa. It is a little farther away but it is more private."

A short while later they reach the Paretti villa, Marcella met them at the door.

"AJ, I see Francesca found you. I hope you do not mind staying here. I thought that it would be easier for all concerned."

"That's fine. Thank you Marcella. Are they here?" he asked softly. Marcella nodded then led them to the living room. Before they even got to the door they heard a voice cry out.

"Mommy!" A young Roberts blur soon hurtled himself into Harriet's arms.

"AJ. How did you get here?" she asked surprised.

"Grandpa brought me on the plane." She looked up to see her father.

"How did you know?" she whispered to him.

"The Admiral called and said you needed to see AJ. The Admiral thought that this would save you a flight back to see him."

"Thank you, sir," she said as she stood up then surprised them all by giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Harriet, let me show you to your room. I know that you must be exhausted," Francesca said trying to ignore her father's ears turning red from embarrassment. "And I am sure that the little one can use a nap too."

Harriet looked around for her bag but didn't see it. "I'll bring the bag up in a few minutes, Lieutenant," commented the Admiral. Harriet smiled at him slightly then turned to follow Francesca.

"AJ, I put you next to Signore Simms and across from Harriet. I'll be glad to show you where your room is when ever you would like."

"Thank you, Marcella. And thank you for letting us all invade your house. I know that Harriet will prefer the privacy."

"I am happy to help. Let me tell someone to get your bags for you. I will be back soon. Make yourselves at home," she said including Roland Simms before she left the room. The men went into the living room and sat down before speaking.

"So, Roland. How was the flight? Did AJ do okay?"

"Oh, he did fine. No one else liked it though," he said ruefully.

"How do you mean?"

"Your young namesake sat at the window bouncing excitedly the whole time. Even when we hit the turbulence. I won't tell Harriet, but it was pretty bad. I was worried that AJ was going to be scared," Roland shook his head. "He was sitting there with his hands in the air acting like it was a great big roller coaster!"

"I'll have to tell Harriet not to let Rabb baby sit any more," the Admiral joked.

"Papa?" asked Francesca from the door. "Would you like me to show you your room? I'm sure that you are tired also."

"Actually, I am. I just want to check on Harriet real quick first." He stood up and walked with his daughter through the house that she grew up in. They were soon to his room and he saw their bags just outside the doors.

“Try to get some sleep, Papa. I’ll wake you up before dinner.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you then,” he said as he kissed her on the cheek. Going to Harriet's door, he lightly tapped on it. At first, there was no response but then the door opened. Little AJ was holding the door and Harriet was sound asleep on the bed, fully dressed.

“A’miral,” the little one whispered. “Mommy’s sweeping.”

“I see,” he said gently. “Why aren’t you?”

“I can’t sweep.”

“Why not?” the Admiral asked as he knelt down closer to the young boy’s height.

“Mommy said Daddy’s hurt,” the little boy looked up with tears in his eyes.

“That’s right.”

“Daddy lost his leg. How?” the child asked.

“He stepped on a landmine. It exploded and his leg was hurt so bad that the doctors couldn’t fix it.”

“Is Daddy going to be okay?”

“I’m not sure, but I think so,” he said honestly.

“’kay.”

“Do you think you can sleep now?” Chegwidden asked.

“I’ll try,” AJ said before giving the Admiral a hug then abruptly shutting the door in his face.

Chegwidden stood up and smiled at the door before turning back to his. He was surprised to see Marcella at the end of the hall.

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough,” she said softly as she walked closer to him.

“Long enough for what?” he asked.

“Long enough to remember why I fell in love with you in the first place.” Chegwidden walked up to Marcella and tenderly touched her cheek.

“Ah, Bella. We talked about this before. It’s too late for us to start over.”

“I know. But I cannot help but wonder. I left you because of the violence and then I married Vitorrio.”

Chegwidden looked into the eyes that he had fallen in love with long ago and saw the painful memories there. He stepped to the door of his room, opened it, and gestured for Marcella to step inside. He had a feeling that this conversation would be best in private.

“I didn’t know until later what Vitorrio was involved with. I think I suspected long before I really knew. I didn’t want to think that my second husband was involved in even more violence than you.”

“Marcella, it was my job. I didn’t choose the violence.”

“I know that now, but I was so young then. I wanted everything to be perfect,” she said.

“And you thought you found that with him?”

“He was a, how do you say it? A businessman. I never thought he did anything more than that. Vitorrio was a good father to Francesca and a good husband to me. I didn’t want to think about anything else.”

“Bella, do you know how hurt I was when I heard about him being involved with the Mafia? You left me because of the Teams and you went to someone worse.”

“I didn’t know. I thought he would be good for us,” she turned away to go.

“I’m sorry,” he stopped her by gently clasping her shoulder. “I felt betrayed, Bella. You took my only child away from me. You let someone else raise her as his own.”

“I can’t change the past, AJ,” she whispered.

“I know, and I truly am sorry,” he whispered as he pulled her back to his chest. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” She sighed and rested her head against his shoulder. “I’m worried about Bud and I haven’t gotten much sleep in the past few days.”

"You care very much for them," Marcella stated as she turned in his arms feeling almost as if she never left.

"Other than Francesca, they are the closest thing to family that I have," he admitted.

"Why did you never remarry?" she asked. “You are very good with children.”

“I couldn't do it again. I didn't handle it well when you left me and I didn't want that to ever happen again.”

“Oh, AJ. I never meant to hurt you so badly,” Marcella caressed his cheek.

“It’s taken a while but I know that now. Maybe we should leave the past in the past?” he suggested.

“Si. The past is over but who knows what the future might bring,” she said leaning up and lightly touching her lips to his.

Marcella pulled away, smiled slightly then left knowing he needed his sleep. Chegwidden sat on the edge of the bed and thought for a few moments about what the future might hold. He yawned, the lack of sleep finally catching up to him. He stretched out on the bed and was asleep almost instantly. He didn’t even wake up when Francesca slipped into the room and covered him with a blanket.

Hours later, Chegwidden was awaken suddenly by a gentle hand on his shoulder. He didn’t think before he grabbed the unknown person and rolled over on top of them. He looked at the person and suddenly realized it was Marcella.

“Marcella! I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay, AJ,” she laughed. “I always enjoyed how you swept me off my feet.”

“Oh, really?” he asked, unable to resist lightly pressing his hips into hers.

Before she could respond, they heard a loud whisper from the other side of his closed door.

“A’miral? Are you sweeping?”

Chegwidden smiled wolfishly down at Marcella but didn’t make a sound. He waited until he heard Harriet outside pulling her son away before he moved off her and helped her up.

“I really am sorry, Bella.”

“AJ, that is okay. I should have remembered to not wake you that way,” she said still standing in the circle of his arms. “I came in to let you know that dinner would be ready when ever you are ready.”

“Has the hospital called?” he asked as he sat up.

“Si. Lieutenant Roberts arrived at Cardarelli about an hour ago. The doctor called, said that he was stable and that he would be in surgery for a few hours.”

“I’ll grab some dinner then head over there.”

“AJ, the doctor said that tomorrow morning would be better. He should be awake by then.”

“Okay. I’ll call and check on him later.”

Chegwidden showered and arrived for dinner a short time later. He looked at Harriet, who looked better after some much needed sleep, before they all sat down for dinner. Marcella had cooked one of Chegwidden’s favorite meals, pasta putenesca. He was touched that she remembered all these years later how much he enjoyed that dish.

‘Maybe there is some hope for us after all,’ he thought.

After dinner, they all sat in the living room and shared small talk. No one really wanted to mention the reason that they were all there in Italy. Finally, people started excusing themselves for the evening, leaving only Francesca and her father.

“It’s good to see you again, Francesca. It’s been too long.”

“I might be in the US in a couple of months. I will make sure to visit.”

“That sounds good. I probably should let you get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning?”

“Of course, Papa. Sleep well.” She leaned down to him and kissed him on the cheek before leaving him alone.

Chegwidden sat there thinking about Bud in surgery. For some reason, the more he thought about Bud the more he got on edge. Chegwidden realized that the last time he was this much on edge was when Francesca was kidnapped. Knowing that he would not be able to get to sleep, he quietly walked out onto the patio. He would have loved to go on a run or for a swim but since there was no pool and he was unfamiliar with the landscape, he would just have to deal with his excess energy in some other way.

Chegwidden stood on the patio, trying to let the cool night air soothe him, when he heard a movement behind him. He turned his head slightly, not enough to see Marcella, but enough to acknowledge her presence.

“AJ,” she spoke softly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m just too wired to get any sleep now.”

“Your lieutenant will be fine.”

“I know. It’s just that he’s in surgery because I sent him on that assignment,” Chegwidden said.

“No, you didn’t,” she said. “Harriet said her husband requested this duty, you just approved it. It’s your job.”

“Some job that is,” he mumbled.

“Ah, caro mio,” she whispered as she stepped closer and put her arm around his waist.

He looked down and saw Marcella. At first, he saw her as he remembered her from years before. Young, beautiful and passionate.

“AJ?” she questioned, concerned by the look on his face. He blinked and the years came rushing back and he saw her as she really was. Not as young anymore but just as beautiful and passionate as ever, if not more so.

“I’m sorry, Bella. I…” he didn’t know what else to say.

“It’s okay, AJ. I remember how you would get after missions, on edge. I also remember a way to help you with that,” she fondly recalled.

“Marcella,” he said warningly.

“AJ,” she explained. “I know that the past is behind us and who knows what the future might be for us. I just want tonight.”

“Bella?” he said slipping his arms around her.

“I always enjoyed your love making. I see no reason to not have tonight if we want it.”

“Bella,” he said as he leaned down and kissed her. Cupping her cheek with one hand, he pulled her closer to him with the other. Finally, Marcella broke the kiss.

“AJ, my bedroom is over this way,” she spoke softly.

“Are you sure?” he questioned.

She just smiled, took his hand in hers and led him to her room. Once there they set the passion aside as they took the time to relearn each other’s body. Marcella ran her fingers across his scars, as they were revealed, both new and old, knowing that he wouldn’t want to explain them now. Chegwidden removed her clothes and ran his hands across the skin that wasn’t as soft or firm as he remembered but still beautiful to him.

Once their clothes were scattered across the floor and forgotten, he took her into his arms and kissed her, his passion rising. Remembering what she said earlier when she woke him, he swept her into his arms and gently placed her on the bed. He covered her body with his as he kissed his way from her belly to her lips. Once there, Chegwidden rolled to her side letting his hand stray back the way his lips had traveled. Only he didn’t stop at her belly, his hand continued past the damp curls to the slick flesh they hid.

Chegwidden paused for a moment, and as if she were reading his mind, she pointed to the nightstand and softly said, “Top drawer.” He reached out and was surprised to find a small box of condoms there. Without embarrassing her by commenting why a widowed Catholic woman would have any birth control, he simply took one and put it on.

They slowly made love, remembering old times and making new ones. Neither knew if this would last and neither cared at this moment. Chegwidden was trying to let the pleasure of his body take over from the torment of his mind. Marcella knew that and was happy to help him, somehow knowing that there would be a next time and that it would be all for her. After she cried out his name in climax, he finally lost control and stiffened above her.

Chegwidden pushed his weight off of Marcella making her think that he was leaving her, but he quickly pulled her into his arms. Part of him felt as if he used her but he knew that he would make it up to her. But first, he needed to sleep.

[MSOffice1]

The following morning, Chegwidden woke up and after giving Marcella a kiss, he slipped from her room. He knew that it was still very early, but he didn’t want to have to explain his presence there to Francesca. Not yet. He knew that today would be stressful enough anyway to add to it.

Chegwidden got back into his room and just a few minutes later, he heard a knock. It was Harriet. She was dressed and ready to go to the hospital. The surprising thing was that so was Little AJ.

“AJ wants to see his daddy,” she said when seeing the look on the Admiral’s face.

“Is your father coming also?” Chegwidden asked knowing that there was no stopping Harriet.

“Yes. I want to see Bud, Dad will watch AJ. I know that the hospital will have a problem letting a child in but I know they do it sometimes. At least back home.”

“Very good. Let’s all get something for breakfast then head to Cardarelli.”

They gathered in the dining room for a quick breakfast but Little AJ was the only one able to eat the pancakes; everyone else had their mind on Bud. When everyone was finished their coffee then AJ’s syrup covered shirt was changed they headed to the garage.

“Papa?” Francesca held Chegwidden back for a moment. “I have a meeting for work that I have to go on, so I can not come with you. I’m sorry, I wish I could be there, but I am sure Mama wouldn’t mind.”

“Thanks okay, Francesca,” he said. “I’m sure that we will just be sitting in the waiting room while Harriet is in with Bud.”

“All right, but Mama knows how to reach me if you need me,” she said before giving her father a kiss and leaving.

A short time later they arrived at the hospital. It took some intimidation from Chegwidden and some rapid Italian from Marcella, before they were allowed to see Bud. Harriet and Chegwidden went to the room her husband was in. At first, Harriet thought he was asleep, but then she saw a tear slip down his face. She knew that he was feeling sorry for himself, and it hurt her to see that. Not wanting to say anything yet, she moved quietly through the door. Chegwidden noticed that once again Harriet made a point to look at the flat sheet below Bud’s right knee. He was pleased to see that this time she did not shudder.

“Bud?” Harriet spoke softly. She knew that he was awake, but she suspected that he would be embarrassed to be caught crying.

“Harriet?” he cried out in surprise. “Admiral? What are you doing here?”

Chegwidden caught the flash of hope cross Bud’s face when he saw Harriet, but he sadly watched it fade quickly. Chegwidden had hoped that after the first shock had worn off, Bud would turn to Harriet instead of away from her. It didn’t look like that would be the case.

“The Admiral told me what happened and I came out here to be with you. I needed to see you,” Harriet said.

“You mean you needed to see the cripple,” Bud said turning his head away.

“No. I came to see my husband,” she retorted back.

“Well, your husband is a cripple, so it’s one and the same,” he said dejectedly.

Chegwidden slipped out the door, knowing that this conversation was best left to the couple. He would have let her go in alone but he needed to see Bud himself.

“You’ve honored your vows, let me honor mine,” she said softly after hearing the door shut.

“What do you mean?”

“Remember that whole in sickness and health, in better or worse? You were there for me during my worst with Baby Sarah. I insist on being here for you now. I will not let you push me away.”

“Harriet, look at me,” he said as he flung the sheet off showing the bandages wrapped around the stump of his leg. “What kind of husband do you think I can be now? What kind of father? I can’t play ball with AJ, I can’t run around with him, hell, I probably can’t even pick him up now without hurting myself.”

“That’s not true Bud and you know it.”

“Yes, it is Harriet. Can’t you see? I’m not a real man any more. Not enough to be a husband or a father. Maybe you should just find someone else to be that for you and AJ. As a matter of fact, why don’t you do that?”

Harriet just stood there for a moment and then walked out of the room. Part of Bud was hopeful that she really did mean what she said, but the biggest part knew that she didn’t. ‘Who would want to live with a cripple?’ he thought. Knowing that Harriet, the one woman that he really loved, didn’t want to, led his thoughts to dangerous places.

Harriet walked straight to the doctor who was talking to the Admiral.

“Doctor? What exactly are my husband’s injuries?”

“His right leg obviously. Above the waist, he has lots of abrasions and some minor lacerations. Below the waist, he had several rather severe lacerations but they were all fixed before he got here. Other than him losing a lot of blood and being in shock that is it.”

“You said ‘below the waist?’” Harriet glanced back at the Admiral embarrassed to ask this in front of him. “He said he isn’t a ‘real’ man any more. Did he…?” She could not think of a delicate way to put her question.

“No. That particular area is fine. There should be no problems. Of course, there was a lot of trauma so there may have been vascular problem with that but I seriously doubt it. The vessels looked okay on the scans that we did.”

“If that is a problem, that is easily fixable, right?”

“Most likely. I will say that he might have more of a problem with the psychological part than the psychical part.”

“Okay. I will remember that. Now, I need to take my son in there. I hope you don’t mind,” she said, not even with a hint of a question in her voice.

“Try to keep your son on his left side and tell him not to hug his father too hard.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Harriet said as she shook his hand. The doctor and Chegwidden watched as she went over to her son and picked him up. She walked to Bud’s room but paused outside his door talking softly to the child.

“AJ? You remember how I said Daddy was hurt?” He nodded. “Well, he’s doing a little bit better, but he’s still hurt so you have to be very gentle with him, okay?”

“’kay,” he said as his mother opened the door.

“Daddy,” called out excited but remembering about his inside voice.

Bud looked up in surprise, he didn’t think that Harriet would have brought their son to see him like this. Harriet didn’t say anything, but moved to Bud’s left side before gently easing their child to the bed. AJ looked at his father, his bandaged stump still visible. Bud tried to shield his son’s eyes but AJ peeked around his father’s hand, looking at the bandages.

“You lost your leg,” AJ said bluntly, but surprisingly he didn’t sound upset. He turned and saw tears slipping down Bud’s face and scooted up in the bed, trying to be gentle. “Can I hug you, Daddy? It makes me feel better when I have a booboo. Tell me if I hurt you,” he said as he wrapped his little arms around his father and hugged him. AJ pulled back and still seeing the tears on Bud’s face, he spoke in a stage whisper, “Daddy, you’re going to be okay. The A’miral said so.”

Harriet had to struggle to hold back the tears that comment nearly caused. She had no idea that the Admiral had spoken to his namesake. She thought Little AJ’s complete trust in the Admiral was a touching story that would have to share with him at some point. She knew that even though he tried to be gruff all the time he was a very tender man. Not that she would want to try to call him that to his face.

Harriet let AJ cuddle with Bud for another moment as she took a deep breath to prepare for her next comment.

“Bud, remember what you said just before I went out and got AJ?” He nodded, that one small part terrified that she would agree and leave him. “Well, if you were serious, why don’t you tell him what you just told me?”

“What ya gonna tell me, Daddy?” AJ asked when Bud said nothing. Bud looked from his son to his wife and that little hopeful part he was trying to ignore finally won out.

“Just that I missed you both and I love you,” Bud said, his voice thick with emotion.

“Love you too, Daddy,” AJ said as he hugged him again. A few moments later, AJ turned to Harriet and asked, “Can we watch TV, Mommy?”

Harriet looked at Bud and saw him barely nod. “Okay, AJ but you have to be quiet so Daddy can get some sleep if he needs to.”

“Okay,” he said excitedly before whispering. “Okay, I’ll be quiet.”

“AJ, do you want to sit here?” she asked gesturing to a chair next to the bed.

“I wanna stay with Daddy. He needs hugs to feel better.”

Harriet was about ready to insist when Bud tightened his arm around AJ, not intending to let him go. She wished that she could climb up on the bed with Bud too, but there wasn’t enough room. She sat down in the chair and turned the TV on. After finding some cartoons, she kissed her son on the forehead before kissing Bud on the lips.

“I need to go tell the Admiral how you’re doing. Do you mind if I leave for a moment?”

“You’ll be right back?”

“In just a few minutes, I promise.”

“Okay.”

Harriet didn’t really want to leave him and with the grip he had on her hand he didn’t want to let her go but she knew she had to update the Admiral. She walked out of the room and stood at the door of the waiting room before anyone saw her. Her dad was getting some coffee and the Admiral was holding his ex-wife’s hand. She had wondered if the looks they had shared over breakfast meant something and decided that they did.

She cleared her throat, getting everyone’s attention. The Admiral stood up quickly, gently releasing Marcella’s hand. Harriet knew that what she was about to do was against so many regs but she really didn’t care. She walked right up to the Admiral and before he knew it, she embraced him. For a moment, he was shocked before he returned her embrace.

Finally, she pulled back and spoke, “I know you don’t want to hear this but I can never thank you enough for having my dad bring Little AJ here. That is just what Bud needed.”

“Is he going to be okay?” asked the Admiral.

“I think so. AJ looked at his leg, hugged Bud and asked to watch TV,” she said bringing a smile to everyone’s face. “Would you like to come and see him?”

Marcella stayed in the waiting room while the rest went back to see Bud. Harriet’s dad slipped in first and said a quick hello before letting the Admiral in. They spoke for a few moments before he also slipped out letting Harriet return.

Over the next few days, Harriet stayed with Bud as much as she could. AJ stayed with them much of the time, when he wasn’t he was back at the villa with the Admiral, Marcella and his grandfather. Little AJ was at the hospital when the doctor came in and told Bud that he was going to be released. Harriet was surprised that Bud would be going home so soon and she knew that she had a lot to do before he got home. She stopped thinking about that when Little AJ piped up.

“Daddy’s coming home? Can we play?”

“I don’t know how much I can play, AJ.”

“Uncle Harm gave me another twain. Can we play with that?”

“Yes. That’s fine. I just can’t play ball with you anymore.”

“That’s okay, Daddy,” he said before he turned around, looked at Harriet, then whispered. “Mommy plays T-ball with me, but I don’t think she knows all the rules.” Bud looked at Harriet in surprise.

“I played t-ball when I was little. Daddy loved it and Mom was scandalized,” she said with a smile. She watched Bud as he did something that she hadn’t heard in months.

He laughed.

Harriet was happy that Bud’s spirits seemed to be looking up at least for a while. The doctor signed out Bud and they decided to drive straight to the airport. Harriet had talked to Clayton Webb again and he had once again loaned them the use of the plane. Bud was surprised when Harriet said he was very helpful. Harriet hadn’t told Bud that she had called Clay a few days ago and asked him to see what he could do with making sure that Bud would be able to get around the house in his wheelchair.

Harriet was shocked to see all the work that Clay had done for her and Bud. He had arranged for a limo at the airport and when they got home, there was a wheelchair ramp and the living room had a hospital bed set up in it. Harriet and the Admiral got Bud settled into the bed before anything else. Bud quickly fell asleep, a combination of the long trip and the painkillers, exhausting him.

Clay arrived a short time later and he explained to Harriet what he had done with the house. He also mentioned that he had set up PT sessions with a doc at Bethesda. He had even arranged for transportation until Bud would be able to get in and out of their minivan easier.

Harriet was surprised that they actually fell into a routine rather quickly. Ann helped a lot by watching AJ and Harm and Mac would come over to visit often. Of course, Bud’s father came to visit for a while before his job needed him to return. Mikey even was able to get leave for a weekend. Harriet was pleased to see how many people were concerned about Bud. Even his old college friend Jeremy Katz came to visit. Harriet was a bit concerned about how Bud would react to seeing him again, but she didn’t need to worry.

“Bud, you have another visitor,” Harriet said on the other side of the privacy screen before walking over.

“Katzenjammer!” Bud cried out excitedly.

“Hey, Bud. How’re you doing?”

“I’m here. I’m pretty lucky, I guess.”

“No kidding. Isn’t that the same leg you hurt the last time I was here?” Katz asked with a gleam in his eye.

“Yeah, it is. So?” Bud asked.

“Well, at least it’s the same one so now you only have one bum leg.”

Harriet gasped but Bud started smiling, then laughing. She finally laughed with them and relaxed as Katz told them about his business being in trouble and his wife leaving him because of it. The men talked for a while before Bud got too tired. Katz said goodbye before promising to come back when he had the chance. He let Bud go to sleep but stopped to talk to Harriet in the kitchen before he left.

“Harriet, Bud is tired so he is getting some sleep. I wanted to mention that I have some stuff for him in my car.”

“What sort of stuff?” she asked.

“I mentioned that my business isn’t doing too good, I’ve had to let a lot of people go. That means that I have a lot of computer equipment sitting around. I thought that Bud might be interested in a laptop.”

“Bud would love that. Thank you,” she said.

Katz walked out to his car and returned with a large laptop case.

“Bud will be able to figure all this out, but in case you need anything, my card is in the case.”

“Thank you. I mean it. You’re one of the few people who haven’t made a big deal about his leg,” she said honestly. “And Bud will really enjoy this laptop.”

“Not a problem. Bud really is a great friend. I know that he’ll have a lot of PT to do so I thought this might help take his mind off of it a bit.”

“I’m sure it will. I’ll have him call you tomorrow after we get back from PT. The doctors are hoping to do some initial fittings for a prosthesis tomorrow.”

“That’s great. Well, I had better run. Talk to you two tomorrow.”

The next three weeks were difficult for Bud. He had various fittings and his therapy became much more intense and painful as he began to put weight on his right leg again. Harriet was awakened one night hearing Bud cry out. She went to him and even though she had been warned about it she was still rather surprised to see Bud clutching his leg in pain. He had experienced some phantom limb pain before but never to this extent. Harriet gave him a pain pill that the doctor had prescribed for this situation then she helped in the only way she knew how. She climbed into bed with him and pulled him into her arms. The combination of the strong pain pill and Harriet’s comforting presence lulled Bud to a blissfully dreamless sleep.

Bud woke up in the morning holding his wife in his arms and for the first time since waking up on the Seahawk, he felt hope. Harriet was at his side as he now knew she always would be. Bud’s son was just happy that he was home and didn’t seem to mind that he couldn’t play with him all the time. Bud even had several job offers that he knew he would have to talk to Harriet about soon. He knew that money wasn’t a problem right now since the Navy paid his medical expenses, but Bud knew that with the new house things had to change. Harriet was so happy with the house and Little AJ loved the yard and even if he hadn’t told her yet Bud thought that Harriet picked a great house. Bud didn’t want to be the cause of them losing the house they all liked, so he planned on taking one of the offered jobs as soon as he was able to.

“Are you okay, Bud?”

“Yeah, I’m just thinking, Harriet,” said Bud.

“About what?” she asked quietly.

“A job.”

“Bud, don’t worry about that right now.”

“I’m not worrying about it, sweetheart,” he said with a smile. “I’m just thinking about which job might be the best for all of us.”

“Best for all of us? How about you think about what might be best for you?”

“If it’s best for you and AJ then it is best for me,” he said as he lightly kissed her.

“I love you, Bud.”

“I love you too, Harriet.”

“So what job offers are you thinking about and how come I only know about one of them?” she asked smiling.

“I think you know about the Admiral’s job offer at JAG,” Harriet nodded. “Katzenjammer offered me a computer job but I don’t think that I will take that. I might help him out part time though. And William, at therapy, offered me a job but I think he was mostly joking.”

“Three job offers, not bad at all.”

“Actually, there was another one.”

“Really? Who?”

“Remember the other day when you had to run to the store and I stayed here? Well, Clayton Webb stopped by and before he left he offered me a job too.” Bud said this while carefully watching his wife, trying to gauge her reaction but it was difficult, so many emotions flittered across her face. Concern was the most visible.

“What kind of job?” she asked in a neutral voice.

“Legal analyst. If I took it, I would analyze the legal ramifications of various ops and missions that they do. Clay said that other than a few over night trips a year in the US, all travel is voluntary. It will be a desk job only; the only fieldwork would be briefings or the occasional lecture.”

“That sounds good,” said Harriet, surprised that Clay had offered Bud a job but pleased that he had. “Which one are you leaning to?”

“I’m not sure yet. The job at JAG would be very similar to what I was doing but the CIA job might be more of a challenge.”

“Which ever one you decide on, I’ll support you.”

“Even if I take the CIA job?”

“Yes, Bud. I know Clay caused a lot of trouble in the past, but he more than made up for it, in my eyes at least. I trust him,” Harriet said simply.

“I do too,” he said looking at his wife.

“Mommy? Where are you?” called out AJ.

Harriet called to her son, and just like every morning, once AJ was up they were all on the go. Harriet drove Bud to therapy, dropped AJ off at daycare and then went to work. Bud had a good day at first, until someone said something that made him think. It was a man who lost his arm in an accident and he mentioned that he was worried about having sex for the first time with out his arm. Bud started to wonder if his balance would be off because of his leg. He didn’t think that he could put too much weight on his one knee. Bud was worried that he would fall on top of Harriet and either hurt her or embarrass himself. The doctor at Bethesda had talked to him at first about sex because Bud mentioned that he was worried if any of his injuries would have affected his sex life. He hadn’t thought about his balance being off.

Bud also thought about this because this morning, waking up with Harriet in his arms, he had gotten an erection. He was glad that there was nothing wrong with that equipment, but his mind kept thinking back on the balance issue. Without meaning to, Bud let that feeling of hope leave him to be replaced by despair. Harriet seems to have accepted a husband without a leg, but would she accept one who was unable to pleasure her? Or, more precisely, a husband who was afraid to try.

[MSOffice1]

Over the next two weeks, Harriet was saddened to see that Bud was once again becoming more and more withdrawn. Only AJ could make him smile and Harriet suspected that he was just doing that to not upset the child. Harriet did everything that she could think of to cheer him up but nothing worked. She even had a small get together one night, but Bud just sat there increasingly sullen.

Harriet didn’t know what to do, so finally she asked the Admiral. He had been so helpful about everything, she didn’t think that he would mind helping her.

“Admiral. May I ask you something?” she ventured, a little nervous about bringing this subject at work.

“Of course, Lieutenant. Close the hatch and have a seat,” he said taking off his glasses.

“Sir. I don’t really know how to saw this, but I am worried about Bud. He had been doing so well, but he is getting depressed and I don’t know why. He refuses to even consider going to a psychologist and it just keeps getting worse.”

“He’s been through a lot, Harriet. It will take some time,” he said gently.

“I know, sir. It’s just that he isn’t interested in anything right now. Two weeks ago, he was talking about the jobs that he has been offered and he was excited. Now, even Little AJ can barely get a smile out of him.”

“Harriet, how is he doing other than that?”

“He’s doing okay. He has been fitted for his prosthesis and it’s a very nice one. I think that my dad or Clay had something to do with that but, I don’t think I’ll tell Bud right now.”

“How are his other injuries?” he asked smiling slightly at her small falsehood.

“They are fine. He has some more scars than he thought he might but it’s okay.”

“Do you think that could be the problem?”

“Those scars are all covered and the doctor spoke about possible plastic surgery on those and Bud didn’t seem to mind.”

“How about the injuries below his waist?” he asked hoping that she would not make him spell it out.

“Most of them were below the waist,” she said before she understood his meaning. “Oh, you mean, um. Yes. I mean we haven’t but um, it works,” she said very embarrassed to speak of this with her boss.

“You might want to, um, do something about that then,” he said hoping that she would understand his meaning.

She did.

Harriet drove home thinking about making love to her husband. She knew that his fears of not being a real man were unrealized. That morning she woke up in his arms a couple of weeks ago, she could feel his erection pressing against her. She wondered what would have happened that morning if AJ hadn’t interrupted him. Maybe they wouldn’t be having this problem if only AJ weren’t a morning person.

Harriet suspected that Bud would not try to initiate anything, but she was unsure why. They had both enjoyed their sex lives before he was deployed. She really hoped that they could get that back. She fought to get him to believe she would stay beside him maybe now she would have to fight again. By the time she got home, she had a plan.

Bud wasn’t home when she got there because of a late therapy appointment, so she worked quickly to set her plan into motion. She called her friend Ann and asked if she could keep AJ overnight. Ann immediately agreed, since AJ had been at her apartment all day because the daycare was closed for the day. While she was on the phone with Ann, Harriet quickly gathered up all of Bud’s things from the living room and put them back where they belonged in the bedroom with her.

She hoped that moving his things back to the bedroom would be enough. She never suspected the reaction that she got though.

End Part 2

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[MSOffice1]Part 8