Part 1

Her Strength

Disclaimers: All characters are the property of DPB, except Ann.

Spoilers: Takes place directly after the end of Season 7.

Part 1

"I'll let her know," Admiral Chegwidden said sadly before hanging up the phone. He rubbed his hand across his face before ripping off his glasses and dropping them on his desk. He stood up, walked to his window, and peered out lost in thought, his posture unusually stooped.

He was saddened by the news that he had just received but even more by the horribly ironic timing of it. Just over an hour ago, in this very room, he had assured Harriet that Bud would be all right. Now he was going to have to tell her what happened. Sometimes, being in charge was terrible.

Chegwidden stood there for quite some time before realizing that he couldn't put off the inevitable any longer. With a deep breath, he gathered his briefcase and cover before locking his door. He had given bad news to families before, some of them very close. This was different. The Roberts’ were such a loving couple and they had already had more than their share of pain and heartache. He hated being the one to add to that.

He drove over to the Roberts’ new house, the one Bud hadn’t even seen yet. After taking a deep breath, he got out of his SUV and lightly knocked on the door. Harriet walked up to the door holding Little AJ.

“Admiral? Is everything okay?” she asked nervously.

“I just wanted to stop by and make sure that you were doing okay,” he said, hoping she would forgive his small lie.

“That’s very nice of you Admiral. Why don’t you come in? I was just about to put this one here to bed,” Harriet said as she jostled her son on her hip. The Admiral stepped into Harriet’s new house and removed his cover. He stood there as Harriet turned around and he waved at Little AJ as his namesake yawned.

Chegwidden looked around the living room, noting the minimal decoration. He knew that Harriet had purchased this house before even mentioning it to Bud. Chegwidden didn’t exactly approve of what she had done but Bud seemed to have forgiven her. He suspected that Harriet was waiting to let Bud decorate since he didn’t have a say about the house itself.

“So, Admiral. What do you think of the house?” Harriet walked back in the room, smiled and gestured for the Admiral to have a seat on the blue sofa. He sat across from Harriet then paused a moment to try to think of a way to tell her the bad news. Chegwidden had thought about what he would say the entire drive but he still didn’t know how to begin.

“It’s very nice, Lieutenant. I’m sorry I wasn’t around to help you move in.”

“Oh, that’s okay, sir. I had several of the men from JAG help out. It didn’t take any time that way. I chatted with Bud the other day, sir. He said he had approved the funds for a school to be rebuilt after it was bombed. He might even get to see the school when it reopens.”

“Lieutenant, that was today,” he said softly as her eyes widened in fear. “Bud went to the school and on the way, he saw a child playing in a mine field.”

Harriet’s eyes began to tear, thinking about a child growing up having to worry about landmines. She knew that seeing that would have upset Bud and she was surprised that he hadn’t called.

“Petty Officer Coates went to get help and Bud tried to keep the child there. The kid was scared, and kept moving. Bud,” Chegwidden paused to take a breath. “Bud stepped off the road and on to an antipersonnel mine.”

Harriet looked at the Admiral in shock then disbelief. “No, sir. You’re wrong. You said that he would be fine. You said nothing was going to happen to him. Bud has to be okay.”

“Harriet. I am so sorry,” Chegwidden said.

Harriet sat there silently as tears began to form and trickle down her pale cheeks. ‘This couldn’t be happening,’ she thought. She needed Bud; she knew that most people thought of her as the strong one but that was only because of Bud. He made her feel complete. And now he was gone. She took a few shaky breaths, trying to compose herself to some extent. She did not want to break down in front of the Admiral.

“Bud’s been sent back to the Seahawk-“

“He’s alive?” Harriet interrupted. The Admiral nodded as he saw different emotions flash across her face. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she snapped at him.

“Lieutenant,” he tried to explain.

“I need to make some calls. I need to be with him.” Harriet stood and turned away only to be stopped when Chegwidden grabbed her by the shoulders before turning her back to face him.

“Harriet, you don’t understand. He’s in shock, he has internal injuries, there is a lot of shrapnel damage below his waist…”

“And?” asked Harriet with some trepidation.

“He lost his right leg just below the knee. The doctor’s aren’t sure how he’ll do.”

“But he’s alive?”

“Yes, but as I said he’s badly injured.”

“I don’t care. He’s alive, that is the only important thing. I need to be with him.”

“Lieutenant, you will not be safe going into a war zone,” he ordered.

“Forgive me, sir, but you will not stop me. My husband needs me and I will be at his side.”

Chegwidden looked into her eyes, part of him not at all surprised by the determination he saw there.

“Very well. Make what ever calls you need and pack quickly and we can leave.”

“Sir, I can’t ask you to go with me,” said Harriet, touched that he would do this for her and Bud.

“You aren’t asking and you will not be going by yourself. Hurry up and make your calls, I have some to make too,” Chegwidden said as he pulled out his cell phone.

Harriet paused a moment, watching her boss, before picking up her cordless phone, dialing as she walked to her room and began packing.

“Ann, this is Harriet. I need a favor.”

“Anything, you know that.”

“I don’t have time right now to explain but I need to go out of town and I need you to watch AJ until my dad gets in town tomorrow.”

“No problem. Let me grab some stuff and I will be right over.”

Harriet hung up the phone and quickly finished packing before she redialed.

“Daddy, I need your help. I don’t have time to go into detail right now but Bud was hurt and I need to be with him.”

“What can I do?” asked Roland. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“I need you to watch AJ. Ann is coming over to watch him until you get here. You remember her? She was our neighbor at the old place.”

“Okay. I’ll be there soon. Call me when you hear something.”

“Thanks, Daddy. I’ll let you know.” Harriet had finished her packing and went to AJ’s room. She wanted to take another look at her son before she had to leave. Harriet just stood there thinking about what she would do if Bud didn’t come home. She kissed her son, pushed away all the pessimistic thoughts and went back to the living room carrying her small bag.

The Admiral hung up his cell phone before speaking. “I have all the flights and paperwork ready. Everything will be waiting for us at the airport. You have your passport?”

“Yes, sir,” she said as she walked over to the desk where they were temporarily stored. “My old neighbor is on her way over and my father should be here tomorrow to keep AJ. I’ll be ready when ever Ann gets here.”

At that time, the doorbell rang. Harriet quickly opened it, revealing Ann. “Perfect timing, Ann. Thank you again.”

“Not a problem. I love watching AJ. What’s going on?” the strawberry blonde woman asked as she stepped into the house.

“Bud was in an accident,” Harriet said simply.

“Go! Don’t let me keep you here then. I’ll take care of everything here. If you need anything, just call.” Chegwidden stepped up behind Harriet putting his hand on her shoulder.

“Lieutenant, we need to leave,” he said as he picked up Harriet’s bag not noticing Ann’s crooked eyebrow as she eyed him.

“Okay, sir. Ann, no one else knows so don’t say anything to anyone or AJ. He’s asleep and I didn’t want to wake him. He’s over the cold he had last week and before I forget, here are the house keys. I’ll call if I think of anything else.”

“No problem, Harriet. Go, be with your husband. I’ll take care of everything here.” The Admiral nodded to Harriet as she looked up at him. He knew that behind her determination, she was afraid of what she might find when she saw Bud.

[MSOffice1]

On the plane to London

Once settled on the plane, the Admiral handed Harriet a file folder. Harriet opened it and found all the legal paperwork for her to be flying first to London then to Italy and staying there if necessary.

“Sir, I’m not staying in Italy,” Harriet said.

“Lieutenant, we have a layover until we can get a flight to the Seahawk. And before you ask how long, I want to find out how things are going first. I was told that if Bud stabilizes enough for transport, he would be sent to Naples. I don’t want to get to the Seahawk and find out Bud isn’t there.”

“How can I ever thank you, sir? How did you get all this done?”

“I called Webb and told him that we needed to go to Italy then the Seahawk and he needed to arrange it for you. He got the flight to London because all the ones to Naples have too long of a layover. Webb said that we’d get further details at Heathrow. I don’t know how he got all this stuff so quickly but I thought it was best not to ask.”

“Thank you again.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Lieutenant,” Chegwidden said gruffly, signaling that the conversation was over. “It’s late, you should get some rest.”

Harriet knew that she had to let the subject drop, the Admiral was not one to accept praise or thanks. She also took her commanding officer’s advice and was reasonably well rested when they touched down in London. They quickly gathered their bags and made their way off the plane only to be met by Clayton Webb.

“Webb, what are you doing here?” asked Chegwidden.

“I’m actually on vacation. Do you have any other bags?” Webb asked as Harriet shook her head. “Let’s walk.”

“How did you get everything done from here, Mr. Webb?” asked Harriet.

“I just made a few phone calls. Speaking of which, I called the Seahawk and the Lieutenant is still there.”

“How is he?” Harriet asked.

“I’m not sure, Harriet. They wouldn’t tell me much. About all I know is that he hasn’t woken up yet. I don’t know if that is from the pain meds or what, though,” he said softly not wanting to upset her. Harriet surprised him though by simply closing her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, and continuing in the direction Webb was leading.

“Where are you taking us, Webb?” asked AJ.

“I arranged for a plane to take you to Naples then on to Bahrain. From there you will have to get a military hop to the Seahawk. I haven’t arranged that because I thought you could get that taken care of easier than I could, AJ.”

“I’ll call the base CO when we get to Naples once I find a phone,” commented AJ.

“You can call from the plane. By the way, Harriet, take this,” Webb said handing her a cell phone. “Call me anytime you need anything. I’ll be keeping my cell on all the time, just dial *5. Also feel free to use that to call anyone else you need.”

“Thank you, Mr. Webb,” said Harriet as they saw the private plane sitting on the tarmac.

“Is this a company plane, Webb?” asked Chegwidden.

“No. It is privately owned,” he stated.

“Why are you doing this, Mr. Webb?”

“Let’s just say that I owe it to your husband because of a bear,” he said softly not wanting Chegwidden to hear. “There is a small galley in the back so you can fix something to eat. Also there is a TV with DVD’s if you want to try to keep your mind occupied. I’ve told the pilots that you are going to Naples then Bahrain. They are ready to take off anytime and if you have any questions just ask them or call me. You’ll find everything you need on the plane.”

“Thank you, Mr. Webb,” Harriet said as she stepped up into the plane soon followed by the Admiral. She stopped at the entrance, surprised at the luxury of the plane.

“Wow. I knew Mr. Webb’s family had money but I never expected this,” Harriet said with surprise.

“This is pretty nice. How about you have a seat and I’ll see if I can find something for breakfast?”

“I’ll fix breakfast, Sir. You rest, I know you didn’t sleep much last night.” Harriet could see that the Admiral was about ready to protest so she continued. “Besides, it will give me something to do.”

“Okay, but let’s wait until we are airborne,” he suggested. Harriet nodded then sat down. She noticed a bag with her name on it so she pulled it toward her and opened it. She was surprised to find an abaya.

“Webb said that we would have to drive from the airport to the base. This is just in case,” Chegwidden said.

“That’s fine. Whatever gets us there faster.”

The plane was soon airborne and Harriet quickly grabbed some pastries and coffee in the galley. She sat back down and sighed. Chegwidden looked up from the papers that he was trying to review. He looked over at Harriet and could tell that since she no longer had anything to do other than wait she was starting to think.

“Sir? I have to ask you something,” she said softly, refusing to meet him eyes.

“What is it, Harriet?” he asked gently.

“Why were you so worried about telling me about Bud’s leg? Did you think I wouldn’t be able to handle it?” she sniffed trying to hold back the tears. Chegwidden put the papers away and moved to sit next to Harriet. He pulled out his handkerchief then after lifting the armrest between them, he wrapped his arm around her.

“No, that is not it. Harriet, you are one of the strongest women I’ve ever met. It’s just that I have had the misfortune of having to give bad news like that far too often. Too many times, it hasn’t turned out well.”

“How can women leave their husbands at a time like that?” the soft hearted but strong willed Harriet was saddened for the men she never met.

“It’s terrible but it does happen. I won’t try to kid you but if Bud does make it home, he won’t be the same person.”

“I know that, sir. I love him and I will do what ever I can to make sure he never forgets that. Right now though, the important thing is to make sure he does come home.”

“That’s true. He’s going to need a lot of help and he’s not going to want to accept it at first. You just have to stick with him and I know you will.”

“Of course, I will, sir. He’s my husband,” she said as she took a deep breath and tried to relax in the comfort of his strong arms. Harriet didn’t realize that he was just as lost in thought as she was. She tried to think of how to tell Little AJ and decided to wait until after she actually saw Bud to decide what to tell their son.

Chegwidden sat there thinking about Bud. He certainly never would have wished this on anyone, especially Bud, but Bud was a lucky man. Chegwidden told Harriet the truth when he mentioned the other women who left their husbands instead of staying by their side during their recovery. He was always saddened when he thought about David. David had been in his Seal team before he tripped a landmine. AJ had been there when it happened and he was the one that had gotten David on the rescue helo. The whole time in the hospital David talked about his beautiful wife who would be there waiting for him to come home even though he lost his legs.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t there. David never saw her again, she took their infant son and left. She left a note saying that she married a man, not a part of one. AJ knew that he would never forget that phone call from David. AJ felt so helpless as David cried into the phone before he put his gun to his temple. AJ had many sleepless nights remembering that phone call. He knew that if David’s wife were there for him then David would probably still be alive today.

AJ knew that a lot of things happened in and after Vietnam that never should have. His own failed marriage was one of them. He thought that if Marcella were as strong as Harriet then he would have actually been able to be a father. A real one, not a long distance one. He looked down at Harriet and was proud that she was doing what should have been done years ago. She had acted as if it had never crossed her mind to do anything but stand by her husband’s side. He just hoped that Bud would let her.

In a surprisingly short time, they heard from the pilot that they would be landing in Naples. She waited nervously as the Admiral called the CO of the Seahawk.

“We’ll be there as soon as we can then.”

“How is he, sir?”

“He hasn’t stabilized like the doctors had hoped yet. He’s still unconscious and they are worried about his internal injuries. The doctor has everything as stable as they can on the Seahawk but they don’t want to try to move him until he wakes up.”

Harriet took a deep breath, nodded then finally spoke in a soft voice. “I’ll let you tell the pilot and I’ll fix some lunch.”

Before he could say anything, she slipped back into the galley. Chegwidden didn’t follow because he knew that she needed time to herself. After he let the pilot know they had to continue on, he called the base commander at Bahrain. In a few short minutes Chegwidden had arranged for a car to meet them at the airport and a flight to the Seahawk. He looked back to the galley and realized that Harriet was still back there he decided to see if she needed any help.

Chegwidden wasn’t overly surprised to see her standing in silence, hands gripped on the counter, trying to take deep breaths. He knew that he was a bit blunt telling her about Bud’s injuries, but he thought at the time it was best to just tell her and not put it off any more. Now, he had to wonder about the wisdom of his decision.

“Harriet?” he said softly not wanting to startle her. She turned to look at him for a moment, tears in her eyes before she turned back around. He watched as she picked up a paper napkin and dabbed her eyes before she turned back to face him.

“What would you like for lunch, sir?” she asked in a deceptively calm voice.

“Harriet, it’s okay to show your feelings. You probably shouldn’t keep it all inside.”

“I know, sir. It’s just that…” she was unsure how to continue.

“I’ll be glad to give you privacy if that is what you need. But I hope you know that I’m here for you if you need anything.”

“Thank you, but that isn’t it,” she said unable to meet his questioning eyes. “I’m afraid that if I start to cry, I won’t be able to stop. I need to be strong so I can’t let myself do that.”

“Okay, if you insist,” he said thinking that he would try to make her mad if she didn’t cry on her own. “So what is there for lunch?”

Harriet let herself focus on lunch for a while, but once it was over her morbid thoughts began to creep back in. She tried to be somewhat positive, and not wonder what she would do if Bud died, but that was hard. She could tell by the Admiral’s voice there was a very real possibility that she could lose her husband. Harriet knew that she would have to carry on for her son, but she didn’t know how she would find the strength. Bud had been her pillar of strength when they lost the baby almost two years ago. She remembered how many people had told her then that she was very strong but Harriet didn’t believe them. She just did what she had to do for her family and she didn’t think that was being strong.

Harriet knew if anyone even suspected how terrified she felt, they would know how weak she truly was. She always felt that she appeared strong because she had to be, it was expected of her. Harriet also knew that if it weren’t for Bud, she never would have rebounded after the death of the baby. Bud helped her sort through baby Sarah’s things when she couldn’t. And when she just wanted to cry he was there to hold her.

Harriet missed Bud terribly but she wasn’t too lonely, except at nights when she was in bed alone. She had plenty of friends in and out of JAG, and Little AJ kept her plenty busy. He was getting to the age where he was having more play dates and parties and was so happy to have a swing in the yard and bunk beds in his new room.

‘Oh God, the house,’ she suddenly thought. Harriet knew that wasn’t the important issue now, so she pushed that thought aside knowing her dad would take care of that if she asked. She also knew that Bud didn’t like her asking her family for things but she was more concerned that he would even live than his being upset with her.

Bud always seemed to forgive her of anything. She thought about when she was forced to reveal her first pregnancy to him. She didn’t even tell him in private, she was on the stand and he still forgave her. Harriet had been reluctant to respond to the question because she was afraid of how Bud would take the news. They both knew that they had been with others but they never really talked about it. After her revelation, they did talk about all their past relationships only once. It was an unspoken agreement to not mention it again, since they happened so long ago.

Bud was so understanding, he was sweet, gently and just a good person. Harriet knew life wasn’t fair but it just seemed so harsh to Bud. His mother and sister died in a car accident when he was a teenager. Harriet was sure that their friends at JAG knew some about Bud’s background, they had met Big Bud after all, but she knew that they didn’t know everything. If they did how could they say that she was the strong one?

Harriet took a deep breath and tried to think logically about what she would do if Bud didn’t come home. One of the most difficult talks that she had ever had was the one they had before he left. They had made several promises to each other, one that Harriet was looking forward to: trying to have another child. She had always wanted to have two children, and the death of Baby Sarah really hurt her. It hurt a lot of people, even Little AJ.

Harriet thought the saddest thing about losing the baby was Little AJ’s reactions. He was only two, he didn’t understand, and he didn’t say anything until a week after the baby died. Harriet was in the nursery when AJ toddled in and asked, “Mommy, where’s Baby?” The little boy didn’t understand his mother’s tears, but he let her hug him tightly. Sometime later, Bud came in, and took his family into his arms. They all just sat there on the floor of the nursery in each other’s arms until AJ got restless.

Even though he didn’t know what started the tears, Bud took his son back to his room before returning to his wife. AJ immediately began playing with his train set from Uncle Harm, and forgot what happened. Bud was so good with Little AJ. Of course, Bud played with some of the toys more than the little one, but that always made her laugh. Thinking about it though, Harriet realized that Bud always made her laugh. Whether it was his fondness for certain TV shows, the supernatural or just Bud being Bud, he could always make Harriet smile.

Harriet was so lost in thought that she didn’t realize the miles passing until the pilot announced that they would soon be landing. Harriet shook the bad thoughts out of her head, and quickly got up to change into the abaya. She thought again about Webb, and wondered how she would ever thank him for his kindness. Harriet also knew that she could never thank the Admiral enough. She knew she never would have been able to get this far without his support and rank behind her.

Once they landed, Harriet had little time to think as they hurried from the airport to the base then immediately to another plane. She was so worried about Bud that she didn’t even feel the tail hook catch their plane. They quickly disembarked and met with the CO once they were inside. Harriet was thankful they didn’t waste time with small talk, and instead headed straight to sickbay.

With each step closer, Harriet trembled a bit more. She was afraid now that she had gotten this far. Wouldn’t still be alive? A small part of her mind knew that if he had died then Captain Johnson would have told her immediately. Harriet didn’t know what to expect when she finally saw Bud. Expecting the worst, she wasn’t terribly disappointed. But her trembling stopped. Harriet had more important things to deal with than her fear.

Harriet walked to her husband’s side, and with extreme care slipped her hand into his. She could feel the Admiral’s presence behind her and hear his soft voice.

“This is Lieutenant Simms, his wife and I am his former CO, Admiral Chegwidden. How is he?”

“Well, he’s lost a lot of blood,” the medic paused unsure how to continue. However noticing the determination in Harriet’s eyes, he knew what to say. “The lieutenant is in shock. He was lucid when he first arrived but went unconscious soon after and hasn’t woken up since. Other than the obvious injury to his right leg, he has some extensive shrapnel damage on both legs and lower torso.”

“Is he going to live?” asked Harriet.

“I can’t tell you that, ma’am. I’ve seen men with much worse injuries pull through with no problem, but then I‘ve seen others with fewer injuries not make it. We’ve given him blood, and sewn up most of his wounds. By some miracle, even though there was a lot of shrapnel damage, no main vessels were severed. If, when he pulls through, he’ll have to have surgery on his leg of course but other than plastic surgery to cover the scars, I think he just needs time to let the injuries heal.”

“You said he was awake for a while? Was he in much pain?”

“I don’t think so. I’ve heard about men in ‘Nam who lost limbs and they said that phantom pains bothered them more than the actual amputation.”

Harriet scanned the bed and let her eyes go to the place where Bud’s leg and foot should have been. The flat sheet caused her to remember the first time she saw someone with a prosthesis. She was about 6 when Mrs. Owens, a friend of the family came to dinner. Her parents had explained that her leg wasn’t real and, at the time Harriet thought she understood. It wasn’t until her dad was helped Mrs. Owens up the steps, and the prosthesis just fell off. There she was, elegantly dressed for dinner with her leg lying at the bottom of the steps. Harriet didn’t remember what happened after that, but she sure hoped that she didn’t cause a scene. Of course, at her age it would have been understandable. She knew that she was much older and mature now, but she couldn’t hold back the shudder. Both the medic and the Admiral saw this, but the medic spoke first.

“Ma’am, you look exhausted. Why don’t you find some quarters and rest for a little while. I’ll make sure to let you know if anything changes.”

“I don’t want to leave him. Anyway, I slept on the plane,” Harriet stated firmly but not meeting the Admiral’s eyes. He knew that she hadn’t gotten much sleep in the past day. The medic looked at the determined woman, and saw the Admiral reaching for a chair before he spoke up.

“Lieutenant,” Chegwidden began in his Admiral tone, causing Harriet to look up at him.

“Sir, please don’t give me an order that I can’t follow.”

“Have a seat Lieutenant. I’ll take our bags to our quarters, then see if I can find Petty Officer Coates. I’m sure you would like to talk to her.”

“Thank you, sir,” she said as she lightly touched his hand on the back of the chair before she sat down. She turned back to her husband not realizing the Admiral hadn’t left yet.

Chegwidden stood there, momentarily lost in his memories, before he gestured to the medic.

“How is he?” once the medic walked closer.

“Admiral, I told her the truth. I didn’t think that either of you would have wanted it sugar coated,” the medic said not at all offended.

“Okay. She is to stay here as long as she wants. I’ll stow our bags then I’ll be back in a while maybe with Petty Officer Coates. I know Lieutenant Simms would like to talk to her. I’ll try not to keep her here too long.”

“That’s fine, sir. She’s been wanting to check up on him but I didn’t want too many people in here.” Chegwidden nodded then with another glance at Harriet, finally slipped through the hatch.

“Bud, I’m here for you,” Harriet whispered. “You need to wake up for me sweetie. I need to tell you how much I love you. How much AJ loves you. He misses his daddy, he can’t wait for you to come home.”

Harriet sat by her husband, and talked for a long while. As she was telling Bud all about the new house, the Admiral slipped in unnoticed. She didn’t see the hopeful look fall from his face when he saw that Bud was still unconscious or hear the Admiral tell the medic that he was going to be in the legal office in case he was needed.

Chegwidden found his way to Bud’s office and was surprised to find Petty Officer Coates there.

“Admiral?” she said surprised. “How’s Bud? The Lieutenant?”

“Same as earlier,” he said grimly “Lieutenant Simms is with him so he has a familiar face when he wakes up.” Noticing her pale face, Chegwidden asked, “Are you alright, Petty Officer?”

“Yes, sir. I guess. I just feel so bad about Bud. He was just trying to save a kid.” She took a shaky breath thinking about how it could have been her instead. “I just can’t get that image out of my mind.”

“I know how you feel. How about you show me what the Lieutenant was working on? Maybe that will help take your mind off it.”

“Thank you, sir,” she smiled slightly at him. “These are the ones that just need to be filed,” she said pointing to one stack. “These are the ones that the Lieutenant needed to review before he decided what to do with them. If you could go through those while I file these I would really appreciate it, sir.”

“Not a problem. I’ll work on these for an hour or two then we can go see the lieutenant.”

Time passed quickly, granting them both a reprieve from their memories and allowing the both of them to get some work done before the phone rang.

“Chegwidden,” he gruffly said as he picked up the phone. “Okay. I’ll be there in a few and I’ll talk to her.” He hung up the phone and seeing the anxious look on the Petty Officer’s face, the Admiral continued. “That was the medic, there’s no change but I want to talk to Lieutenant Simms.”

He quickly straightened up the files that he was working on before leading the petty officer to sickbay. Once he got there, he called Harriet over to the door. At first, she looked loathed to leave her husband’s side even for a minute, but she gently eased her hand from his and walked to the door.

“Any change, Lieutenant?”

“No, sir, not yet,” said Harriet tiredly.

“Ma’am, how about you have a seat. You look very tired,” commented PO Coates.

“What happened, Petty Officer? How did this happen to my husband?” Harriet asked as she sat down.

“He told you about the school, right?” Coates continued after seeing Harriet nod. “The village elders invited us to see the new school, and the Lieutenant thought that it would be good to go. I didn’t want to because I was being lazy, but Bud reminded me that I was invited too, and it might be offensive if I didn’t. We got there and had to walk a little way. I saw the little boy playing in a field,” she paused, trying to get that image out of her head. “I made the comment about being surprised to see they had gotten the field cleared of mines. Bud said that they hadn’t. He very calmly told me to get help, and he would try to keep the kid there. I went to get help, and found some men in the first hut. I tried to tell them about the kid, but they didn’t speak English. Finally, I got them outside. Just in time to see the kid moving, and Bud stepping toward him. It all happened so fast.” She stopped unable to speak anymore.

“The medic told us that he was awake for a while. Did he say anything?” asked Harriet.

“Yeah. He said, ‘Tell Harriet and AJ I love them. Tell her to keep her promise.’ That’s all he said before he passed out.” Coates looked down to see Harriet lower her head, and cover her face.

Harriet didn’t like to think of the promise that he forced her to make the night before he left. They had skipped dinner and made love one more time before they talked more. They finally were able to talk about baby Sarah, and about trying for another child. Bud then commented that he always knew how much she wanted at least two children, so if anything happened to him he wanted her to remarry.

She didn’t even want to hear that, but he made her promise that if she found someone good enough to be husband to her and a father to Little AJ then she should be with them. She made the promise just to make him happy and knew that she would never actually have to worry about keeping it.

Chegwidden stood watching over Harriet as PO Coates left upset that she caused Harriet more pain. He didn't know how long he waited for the tears to come but they never did. Chegwidden actually thought that Harriet had fallen asleep in the chair when he noticed the medic talking to Bud.

"Lieutenant, come on. Wake up." They both heard a moan from across the room but for some reason, Chegwidden put his hand on her shoulder and kept her in her seat.

"Oh, God. It wasn't a dream. What am I going to do?" Bud rasped.

"You get to go home, and see your family," the medic said trying to be cheerful.

"See my family? I can't let Harriet see me like this. I'm a cripple, she deserves more than that. It would have been better if I had just died," he said fatalistically before he passed out again.

The medic looked over to Harriet just sitting there not speaking. He could see the pain in her eyes and then the decision that she made. Shaking free of the Admiral's hand, she stood up and walked back to Bud's side. Harriet lightly kissed him on the lips before whispering in his ear.

"I was never here,” she told the medic. “Do you understand me?”

"Ma'am, he didn't mean it."

"Yes, he did. You will not tell him anything about either of us being here understood?" she said with authority. That would have been enough for him, but it was emphasized when the two star stood behind her, arms crossed, giving him a glare.

"If you insist, ma'am."

Harriet nodded then turned to the Admiral, "Sir, I need to be with my son. I want to go home."

"Harriet, do you think that's wise?" Chegwidden asked softly.

"Yes, sir. He clearly doesn't want me here right now but my son needs me."

"Okay. You go get our bags and I'll talk to the captain." Harriet nodded, spared one more look to her husband, and then walked to the quarters she knew they had been given.

"Captain Johnson," stated Chegwidden as soon as he got to the bridge.

"How is the Lieutenant, Admiral?"

"He woke up for a little while and his vitals are looking better. The medic said that they will try to ship him out tomorrow," Chegwidden said before noticing the clock. "Actually, later today."

"I suppose that you want to make sure there is room on his transport for two others?"

"No. I need a transport earlier."

"Why? If I may ask, sir?"

"Bud didn't see us, and his wife heard that he didn't want to see her. She wants to go home."

"Poor thing. We have a transport leaving at 0500. Am I to assume that you were never here?"

"Exactly," Chegwidden nodded. "I need to make a stateside phone call, if you don’t mind."

Once his calls were complete, Chegwidden found Harriet in the Officer's wardroom waiting for him. She didn't speak when he told her about the transport; she just nodded her head and woodenly went to the deck. The flight to Bahrain was more silence but in a way the Admiral was glad that she was being so composed. He knew that she had to release her feelings but suspected that if she did that now, on a military transport, she would later be very embarrassed by what she would consider her weakness.

A few hours later, they once again boarded the private jet, and she had still not spoken. Finally, Chegwidden moved to sit next to her before he asked, "So what was that promise you made Bud?"

"I really don't want to talk about it, sir," she said softly.

He nodded as if in agreement before he spoke again in an almost flip tone, "He made you promise to remarry if he died, didn't he?"

"Yes," she said shocked that he knew.

"You're lucky," he began.

"Lucky?" she said softly before increasing in volume. "I'm lucky? My husband wishes that he were dead rather than see me again. How is that lucky?"

"He obviously loves you," he stated.

"By saying he doesn't want to see me?"

"By saying that he would rather you remarry, and be happy than be with a cripple like him."

End part 1