Title: Heart and Soul After Ep

Feedback: astridz55@earthlink.net
Disclaimers: I don't own these characters.
Summary:  My take on what happens just after Heart and Soul.  I hope this explains Mac's actions.
Categories: not sure.  It's not romance though.
Rating:  PG-13 I guess.
Notes: This was a quick thing I wrote today.  It's not beta read or anything.  I hope there aren’t too many mistakes. <g>

I went to the hospital to visit the Admiral, for several reasons. I really did need to talk to him about some of the cases from JAG and his canceled appointments. That wasn’t the reason that I was waiting for Meredith to leave though. I wanted to make sure that he was okay. I know that Harm said he was okay but I needed to see for myself. I saw Meredith leave his room as Harm walked to the door. I was far enough away to not been seen but I did hear her as she said that the Admiral was sleeping finally.

I sat in the little alcove for a while thinking about Meredith and what she had said to me in my office. Meredith said that she knew the Admiral was okay because he would expect that of them. I knew that was true and I would have never doubted that he would have been fine. Except for one thing.

I sighed and stood up to slip into his room. The Admiral was asleep and he looked rather worse for wear. Harm had told me some of what he had learned that the Admiral had gone through and ironically I knew the parts that Harm didn’t. I honestly have to admit, I thought I was loosing my mind when I had a vision of my CO holding a condom. My vision included him starting the fire and setting up camp. I was horrified to see him fall through the ice. My vision ended with him shivering and slipping back under the water.

All of my visions have been true so far. Sometimes, that is good but this one scared me more than any of the others. I had the vision first thing in the morning and I was unable to focus for the rest of the day. Besides, not only did my vision scare me but also Harm was the one flying the plane! Harm really is a good pilot, when he isn’t crashing planes. I know that isn’t nice of me to think that but, I do believe it is true.

I know that I didn’t act terrible concerned about the Admiral but my vision led me to believe that there was no hope for him. I didn’t ever consider the fact that the vision ended too soon. Had it not ended or had I not had the damn vision in the first place, I would have done so much more to help find him. If there was someone that I could have left in charge, I would have left and gone to help Harm look for him.

Unfortunately, I had to stay and I couldn’t say anything about my vision. I knew that Harriet was wondering why I didn’t try to have one but she didn’t realize I already had one. Even though I was sure it was too late for the Admiral, I knew that I could never tell Harriet that. She would be heartbroken.

Not that I would blame her of course. I would most certainly miss him, he was, is, the best commanding officer I’ve ever had. Not only that, he is one of the nicest men I’ve ever met. That wasn’t quite true. I’ve meet nice men; the Admiral was more than just that. He is just a good person.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I should have had faith in you and I didn’t.” I turned to walk out the door.

“It’s okay, Mac.”

“Sir? I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You had no way of knowing.”

“I should have believed in you.”

“Why didn’t you? Did you have one of ‘those’ moments?”

“Yes, Sir,” I said somewhat embarrassed.

“What did you see?” he asked.

“I saw you fall into the lake, surfaced then slipped back under. I didn’t see you come back up.”

“That’s all you saw?”

“That was the end of it, yes,” I said not wanting to admit seeing him with the condom.

“No wonder you thought the worst. I did go under again but I managed to pull myself out. I wasn’t sure I was going to make it but I am all right.”

“I know, I just needed to make sure for myself. I’ll let you get back to sleep,” I said softly as I opened the door.

“Thanks for coming to check on me, Sarah,” I heard him say before I slipped out and shut the door.

The End