Dear Diary,
AJ knew something was wrong but he let me keep my thoughts to
myself. That is what was bothering me
the most, how I would tell him. No,
that wasn’t the worst. I was more
worried about his reaction…
After the party, I drove home to
get Jingo and waited for AJ to pick me up as we had planned before I got that
phone call. I gathered up the gifts
that I wanted to take over with me and was ready by the time that the doorbell
rang. AJ greeted me with a kiss as he
took the bag of gifts from my hand.
We were silent the entire drive to
his house because I just didn’t know what to say. I could tell that he knew something was bothering me but he gave
me my space. That is one of the things
that I loved about him and our relationship.
We didn’t feel as if we had to speak all the time. AJ didn’t force me to talk if my mind was on
something, trusting me instead to talk when I was ready. We got home before I spoke with something
that wasn’t actually on my mind.
“Do you realize that you call me
Mac around others but Sarah when we are alone?”
“I didn’t think that you wanted
anyone to know. I know if I call you
Sarah, they might guess.”
“I know…” I said unsure what else
to say.
“Is that what’s been on your mind
all night?”
“Not really. I’ve just been thinking about things.”
“Like us?” he said too casually.
“Yes,” I said without thinking
until I saw the look on his face. “Oh,
no, AJ. I didn’t mean it like that
sounds.” I wrapped my arms around him
upset with myself for being insensitive.
“I love you very much, AJ.”
“And I love you, Sarah,” he said
before pulling back to look at me.
“I can’t help but think about all
the problems that I’ve had with men in the past,” I said honestly.
“Sarah, the past is behind
you. This is the now and I am hoping it
will be the future too,” he said tenderly as he caressed my check.
“Really?” I asked in
surprise. “We’ve never talked about
that before.”
“Maybe we should,” he said as I
took a deep breath.
“I think we need to,” I began
knowing that the best way to say what I needed to was just to say it.
“Alright.”
“AJ. I’m pregnant.”