Dear Diary,

This simple touch of his, set off some not so simple emotions.  I knew that each of us had some unresolved feelings for the other that was rather obvious recently.  I wondered where these feelings were going to take us.  I hoped that things would work out well for us but I didn't want to take things too fast.  I've had enough problems with men, I didn't want this to turn out the same. 

 

I drove over to AJ's house on Thursday ready to get his key.  What I soon realized though was that I was not nearly ready for the sight that greeted me at his door.  He stood there smiling in civilian clothes. Of course he wouldn't be wearing his uniform, I thought, but it was rather rare for me to see him in jeans and a polo shirt.  He led me around the house and showed me where the plants were and the alarm panels. 

 

We finished up in the kitchen and he handed me keys to the house and his truck.  He handed me some note cards and explained his alarm system. 

 

"There are two codes for the alarm system. The one to get into the house is 0927 and the one that the company needs in case of a problem is 'jarhead'."  I looked up at him in surprise. "Well, you have to admit that no one would expect that from me."

 

"That is true." I wasn't sure what to say about the fact that his door code was my birthday.  He had never said anything about it before, I had no idea that he even knew when it was.  "Well, sir.  We probably should get going."

 

He gathered up his duffel bag and his carry on and walked out the door letting me set the alarm.  I knew that I wouldn't have any problems with the system, I was just worried about the plants.  I drove in silence and waited as the Admiral checked his bag before following him to the boarding gate. 

 

We sat again in silence, as I was lost in thought.  The Admiral sat there for a few moments before he spoke.  "Are you okay, Mac?"

 

I looked up at him somewhat surprised.  "I'm fine, sir."

 

"First, you don't have to call me 'sir' any more and second, I know that you've had a lot of changes lately.  I am just concerned about you."  I could see the concern in his eyes and I know that it had little to do with my new CO and more to do with my personal life.

 

"I know that I shouldn't have let myself get comfortable here at JAG but I have.  This is the first place that feels like home to me and suddenly so much is changing."

 

"I wasn't just talking about JAG, Mac," he said softly.

 

"I know, sir," I said just as softly.  He began to speak again but was interrupted by the PA system announcing the final boarding for his flight.  We both stood up and walked toward his gate.  He looked into my eyes and I could feel that he was reading my heart. 

 

He sighed then said, "I know that this isn't the best time to say this but I will be back.  I promise."  He reached out one hand to stroke my cheek, "I'm not leaving you for good.  I'm coming back for you, Sarah.  I promise."  He then leaned down and tenderly kissed me.  I leaned into the kiss, hating to end our first kiss.  Finally, he pulled away and a moment later, he was gone.