GETTING YOUR FEET WET IN WEB WATERS

You've been surfing the web, seen a lot of websites and probably wondered what their creators knew that you didn't. The answer is they knew how to e-mail their writings to their own website, called FTP. (File Transfer Protocol) and if a tekkie sat with you one moment, he could show you how to FTP in 1 minute flat. It's that easy. And the software is online, free, download it now.

Your server might give you a website or two for free --Earthlink does ---and I could teach you in one email how to fill it up. I can give you tips where to download FTP programs or software, free.  GOOGLE FTP SOFTWARE and FREE.

NEXT, create a COTTAGE INDUSTRY --something you do that you want to share with the public.It can be your ability to rebuild a Harley or Fry chicken...something I'm not very good at. My hands are currently burnt to crisps! How to GARDEN, HOW TO CLONE PERENNIALS. Create a cottage industry with a fairly large FREEBIE aspect to it. THEN, pack your ideas, writings, scribblings and those of other really wonderful writers on subjects as diverse as FRUGAL LIVING, PEACE vs WAR, THE IMF, TAXES, activism..... into the website.

C'MON, GO FOR IT. DO IT! TAKE THIS CHANCE to share your IDEAS, your web-research abilities, your nose for a story, your thinking & writing talent, -- All this TALENT that YOU HAVE, and build it into a website and from there, a cottage industry where you make mail order money right there in your home, taking care of the house, watering the yard, growing apples, going out to the mailbox for the day's haul of checks then coming in the house to do some internetting for a few hours a day. Hereís ways I've seen it done.

  • START BY CREATING A FREE NEWSLETTER. Do it right. Put a few interesting URLS you have seen, in a letter you send out once a week. Add a few jokes, give your newsletter a catchy title like 'TOPSY TURVY LAND" and mass e-mail it to the usual suspects, your pals, and ask them to get you pals to FORWARD it to, with a thing at the bottom saying, "if you like TOPSY TURVEY LAND, SUBSCRIBE by saying SUB ME in a reply. Remember, it's weekly and itís totally free." Everyone will LOVE it and want to SUBSCRIBE and you get an auto sender. I never saw one, but I know they exist. Me, I hand send EVERYTHING. I make lists in NETSCAPE BROWSER EMAIL,"STARLIST, "HOROSCOPE LIST etc. They become uinstable with more than fifty names, so keep them smallish. Give your newsletter different sectionsí, HURLING URLS, for links you share or CONSPIRACY SECTION. RECIPES. And get the annual DARWIN awards for biggest bozos and throw it in, interspered with LENO's comment on that movie star. Start this way. "HI, itís me and Iím HURLING you some more HOT URLS! We got some real fine LINKS today, go to http://www.weirdnews.com./pygmyrats.html These are not real links so donít click on them.  A great story about the new 2 inch long rats that are swimming in every toilet when you are alseep and which spread disease in your house while you sleep. SO that YOU WAKE UP WITH HANTA VIRUS!!! (only joking)
  • Then http://www.GHOSTBUSTER.COM a great website by a professional psychic who says GHOSTS prefer to live in your CLOSETS near the clothing you took off that day! This one will make you shut the door at night and hang an altar cloth on it!

    http://EXORCISM.COM/scaryspooks.html These are not real links so donít click on them.

    Now, for you people who thought VITAMIN C was the way to heaven, THINK IT OUT AGAIN -- http://toxiclemon.com See, you're giving people surprises, twists, information that's important and which they missed.

    OR, you thought childhood vaccinations was good for your baby, hear the truth about l00,000 deaths from vaccine . This one is real so research it. Google search 'vaccination deaths!'

    BURIED BONEYARD- Now, a really weird conspiracy. Who knew that a secret group inside the CIA has been dealing drugs to your children, for 50 years, to get money for dirty tricks, in fact, they just had a GOLDEN ANNIVERSARY, and they have been in cahoots with CHINA on HEROIN DEALING and any and all American presidents who get elected do so because CHINA funds and the CIA says theyíre OK. http://rense.com/political/ciadrug.htm and that's a real URL!.

    And hereís our usual boffo set of yuks, some real funnies:

    The Top 19 Ways to Annoy People...

    1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 150%, dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

    2. In the memo field of all of your checks, write "for sensual massage".

    3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

    4. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up".

    5. Reply to everything someone says with "thatís what YOU think".

    6. Practice making fax and modem noises.

    7. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.

    8. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy".

    9. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

    10. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green and insist to others that you "like it that way".

    11. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, itís gone now."

    12. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

    13. Ask people what gender they are.

    14. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

    15. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

    16. Sing along at the opera.

    17. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesnít rhyme.

    18. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".

    Then continue with: OK? Are we Having fun now? Donít forget to send a dollar to me this month, or you wonít be getting your HURLING URLS for SEPTEMBER. REMEMBER for only a dollar a month you get 30 HURLING URLS, jokes and that works out to 3 pennies a day; I Donít think Iím gonna break your back. Remember, Iím at 123 polkadot place, ZIP CODE. Just address that envelope now, drop a check or a buckola in that envelope and put it in your POCKET for when you GO OUT. THINK OF ALL THE FUN YOU GET OUT OF THOSE THREE PENNIES? You will be FORWARDING my cheapo but OH SO necessary, so important newsletter on to your other webpals and chat ICQ pals so you guys wonít run out of stuff to talk about. EVER." Then do SURVIVAL TIPS:

    PC TIP of the DAY: SAVE anything you see on the net as TXT and create a directory called HOLD. D:\HOLD or C:\HOLD. Then, go online and download a file manager that's better than explorer. http://www.ztree.com is where. Then, install it and go into your HOLD CACHE with ZTREE, the fabulous file manager that makes EXPLORER look crippled. You can edit it, fix it, take out the postage stamps (internet routing markings) then, save it in your HOLD DIRECTORY so it's ready to send to pals.

    If you want, when you surf the net, always keep the HOLD DIRECTORY right in the "save to" window and when you want that file you saved, add the file to HOLD. Later, when you write pals, append it as an attachment or attached FILE to any email letter or even summon it up for sending by ICQ.

    So visit http://www.ztree.com download it, then youíre off to the races GETTING INTO YOUR files via DOS, way down under the floorboards of Windows, and editing your text files, so theyíre cleaned up and ready to SEND ON and thatís the game in web-land. Getting the info and saving it is HALF. The other, important HALF IS SENDING IT ON!!!

    INTERNET TIP OF THE WEEK. DOWNLOAD ICQ and leave it on "GREEN FLOWER CODE" which means strangers can drop in and talk to you. I met a Russian, Turk, Canadian and a l7 year old girl named AURORA all in a single hour that way. Itís SO cooooool. Hereís the URL for TONSAPALS. http://ICQCREW.COM (Now, again, this url is FAKE donít click on it!!)

    THE IMPORTANT HOOK AT THE END. Last line on your newsletter reads: subscribe to TOPSY TURVY LAND by hitting reply and say SUBSCRIBE, you get it once a week." That's all. Most of them will do it.

    This creates a growing circle of people familiar with you and your mind. That paves the way for stage two.

    II. CREATE a COTTAGE BUSINESS ONLINE - Consider having a website that gives away a free service with writing, information and visuals. FREE YOGA CLASS, FREE FENG SHUI, Free clutter coach, or as I do, FREE ASTROLOGY, FREE DAILIES, FREE PALMISTRY LESSONS. And another site LUCK IN LOVE, HOW TO GET MARRIED, NOT DATED AND DUMPED. Make it something that is a.) super desired, and b.) super intelligible even to a ten year old. I never met a FENG SHUI lesson that is understandable. Itís hot right now. Create understandable lessons, supply information on any damn thing thatís hot on the website, and offer it for free.

    REGISTER your website AT SEARCH ENGINES AS FREE FENG SHUI LESSONS or free CYBER YOGA CLASS. I have a LIST OF SEARCH ENGINES for you!GOOGLE THESE WORDS "SUBMIT URL FREE" BEST SEARCH ENGINE  -- I came up with

    http://www.submitexpress.com/submit.html

    http://www.bestyellow.com/addurl.html

    http://www.buildtraffic.com/submit_url.shtml
     

    Next, put ads on CRAIGS LIST in every category, I get dozens of yahoo and hotmail addies to do this. I do the SUCCESS IN LOVE promo in the TALENT category at Craigs, where all the beauties are trying to find modelling jobs. I SAY 'GET OUT OF SHOW BIZ, take our free seminar," etc. I do it at the LESSONS category.In the THERAPY category. Often in the GROUPS category.

    I CREATED a MASTER JULES website, PUT promo blurbs for it at CRAIGS also, as often as I can and in every city of Europe and ASIA as well as USA! I list his philosophy writings UNDER "GROUPS" also "LESSONS". EACH ad brings a harvest of contacts who want MORE of the JULES teachings sent them. (A a sample of URLS to four or five of his masterful, POWER-CONFERRING articles is is the ad!). Or who visit the website and read and write me rave letters of thanks for turning them on to his teachings, his amazing writings.

    NEXT, get your mailing list full of names! From my CRAIGS LIST AD, I GOT 300 women for the LUCK IN LOVE AND MARRIAGE FREE SEMINAR, another 300 from the TSUNAMI ORPHANS P.R. MEDIA BLITZ ad at GROUPS....a blitz to get the TSUNAMI'd MUSLIMS to give up some of those kids...THE BROWSER has capacity to store thousand of names and addies.

    NEXT reach out to your friends, the clients, and your NET READERS  who BECOME WRITERS and write you and ask 'how do I put my hands when I do the yoga exercise?" EVERYONE who writes me ever ...I collect their addie and put it into the browser addie book. I then stay in their face. I send MAIL OUTS on fun stuff EVERY SINGLE WEEK! Later, for some of the freebie stuff, collect donations. A dollar a month might seem like very little but what if you have 2000 visitors a month. YOu pay your bills with that FENGSHUI newsletter!

    I put a counter on my website, and quickly realized I was having 1200 visitors a month, and this kept up at a regular rate for four years WOW. That means if everyone sent me a dollar Iíd have 1200 BUCKOLAS a month. While I note the web traffic remains the same, my intimate web friend/fan thing GROWS INCREMENTALLY as one pal tells another. My browser's addie book's bursting at its seams.

    Next, what happens is that the close friendships multiply incrementally. These are fans. If you're any good, they are. One month it's two new fans, then four a month, then eight, and I mean close, talking friends. I can forsee it being1600 fans a month then 3200 then 6400!! Itís baby steps you gotta take because youíre almost there. I watched Rumor Mill News go from a small circle of friends who listened to Rayelean and maybe knew of her thru books on her ex hubby. (George Bush Senior's pilot.) And it expanded to a website that gets 200 thousand hits a day. SO you should definitely get a website up. Then, stage three--

    III. CREATE AN ARCHIVE that YOUR FANS CAN SHARE IN. At the TOP of your WEBSITE, mount ITS ARCHIVE. This is an index page, like the front page of a magazine, listing ALL the articles, teachings, JOKES, ALL the URLS or LINKS you recommend, etc standing there permanently in CYBERSPACE. So this ARCHIVE or INDEX will grow. Go to http://www.rense.com and see how he handled this challenge. You will need several main pages, within a year.

    The real test is what you mail out daily or semi weekly to folks that makes them feel friendly enough that theyíll part with a buck! GOOD ADVICE -- CHEAP, too being that it's free. Oh well, you can send me a dollar. .

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