GETTING THE SWEETIE TO DO THE RIGHT THING
and then we'll get married and have lots of baby kitties.....
No matter how many times I proposed to my various sweethearts, I never got taken up on it. I guess men don't like perky women.
Today I asked a beautiful woman (who 12 yrs ago, married to a man worth 800 million) what a girl can do to get married. I asked HER (not just some gal)as a man that wealthy has to be the most extremely difficult of cases, the most picky, so her immortal advice would certainly hold for mortal, ordinary men and women. 'How do you play a guy so he'll marry you."
She instantly got her fur in a hackles, responded by email that she found the term 'play a guy' repugnant, not up her alley at all. Or as she doesn't live in any alleys, not up her street.
Now, I personally couldn't get a female cat married in a barrio full of toms. I never married in my lifetime. Not really. Oh, one guy led me to think it was a marriage certificate. The Acapulco justice of the peace almost fooled me. And the second guy said FOUR KIDS? EEK! NEVER HAPPEN. So I waited around for thirty years for some honor to arise in him. It never did. He died intestate. To me that means he didn't have the balls to leave me a dime in his will.
So I am not the person by karma or birthright to legitimately instruct this poor girl. I tell friends to read good books on the subject, "The Rules" or "Getting to I Do" by Jungian therapist, Dr. Pat Allen. And "Getting the Love you Want" By Hendrix. All available used at http://abebooks.com for a tenth of the orig. price.
Now, the smart, intuitive part of me, with which I've been advising my clients ...for thirty years, and the compassionate part (with which I've been listening to their tales of woes, ergo LEARNING much about men) --- says love is a violin and you have to play it. PLAY IT SMART. PLAY IT HARD! Also, let's face it, I learned a lot from my own mistakes. What do they say? HINDsight is 20/20?
This all started when a client emailed me saying she was so much in love, they'd been going together a while, yet he showed no signs of wanting more, longer. I.E. THE BIG GOLDEN RING. So, I asked the gorgeous wife and a few other married women and the rules I come up with are these: first, never give a man the whole cow. A teat here, an ear there, a little roll in the hay without the full flowery meadow cuz if the farmer gets the milk for free and HAS the cow at whim or phonecall, why the HELL pay for the cow, the barn, the fence, the license, the vets, the calves and the hay?HUH?
Face it, men are smarter than that. They basically do not want to get married. They want the whole garden without the manure, gloves, shovel, trowel, digging, need for fertilizers bulbs, seeds and sprays. They live in a fantasy land where fragrant flowers are possible without the sweat.
Combine that with the fact that women tend to fall in love as if they were falling out of a thirty story building with a grand smile on their face, and this 'blissful' high, and this glorious no-gravity dizzy feeling..... until we hit the ground, SPLATTT! and stop smiling.
But after we splat then there's nobody left to warn other girls or tell the story. Nobody to write the novel about love gone wrong. And who's gonna tell one oneself? As women are basically competitive with one another. We aren't going to admit in public to another woman, or in a lecture to several hundred that they were ripped off of all the free sex the man could carry away.... And then as an astrologer, I saw another thousand women who wouldn't admit it to a soul but they told me.....WHY? Because they wanted this hard-hearted dude back!
So with our silence, our shame, we enable all men to become shoplifters in the halls of love.I don't blame the guys. If I could get away with a lot of things, I'd do them. If I could eat donuts and Fudge Ripple all day and black coffee to wash it down and never eat a salad, I'd do it! But the reality is, I'd turn nuts if I did that. So I can't give in to my hot fudge impulses.
So here we are a lot of women, very beautiful, charming, smart and almost totally used up. Life wants to work through us. Life, mother nature, the Race.....wants us to carry evolution forward. Our children must one day be 'born,' and hopefully they must be born to men who WANT them, love them, take care of them and who support the mothers with something approaching religious reverence and veneration. WHO CHERISH US.
SO ANYTHING you can do to make a man cherish you, value your feelings, see transcendent values in you, needs to be done. You are not JANE ORDINARY. You are awe-inspiring. And here's where my married friend was right. Don't play at being awe-inspiring. BE IT.
I feel yoga and healthfoods are the two things that will shoot you into the winner's paddock in life, not only the win of matrimony and a man taking care of your children forever after but scoring job, career wins and relaxation which gives more energy for hobbies, avocations as well as giving you a radiant spirit and a glowing look in your face and body.
Yoga and healthfoods will make you trim, beautiful, upbeat, fun, spiritual, lively. You will be able to pass all the other possible love choices he has in the fast lane. And if that's the case, and he doesn't declare himself, you can and will quickly and sweetly move on. And he'll be left with the broken heart, not as I so often find in my business, (astrology), is the girl the one utterly seduced and abandoned, broken hearted. It can happen to men, too.
Lord Byron, a guy who knew a lotta girls said, "To man the court, the shop, the mart. To woman to love and love again and by love be undone." He was a jerk. Prove him wrong.
I then wrote that much up into this article. Now, I sent it to the happy married woman with a sweet e-mail that challenged her and I statied that this was the start of an article on getting a man to make it legal. I cajoled her, " I plan to mention your response but hope that you loop back and give me some secrets. I feel that the thing you'd contribute is 'to be as beautiful, well groomed as possible, at all times. Beauty (and she is a great, great beauty) gives pride in self, self value and then I know you'd say 'have as much love in your heart for him, as possible which entails listening to him and when he's near. Laugh, have fun.."
I wrote her "I know you. I think perhaps I could give your side of it in my sleep." That challenged her. If I were wrong, she'd have to make a statement about that.
She wrote me, God Bless her. And the beautiful, luckily married woman, with her hard to catch husband, had relented. So girls? Here is the pearl of great price, the secret of the ages, in her own writing. "OK, I will tell you one thing, one tool, not a secret by any means, is to always at least seem gentle of heart. Men like gentle women, especially those they want to marry. I remember my husband telling his best friend, in response to the friend's inquiry, when they both thought I wasn't listening, that what he loved most about me was my peacefulness, quietude, child-like pure nature. I heard every word and ok, maybe I played into that. Yes, I remember to remind myself when i'm getting bored with him, just be myself which happens to be gentle natured unless pushed to the razor's edge. Then, watch out."
I agree very much with this. Talky women who are anxious to show they're bright, often fail with men. Even if he asks you the touchiest question in the world, be gentle. Know what that would be? Let me tell you. It's what do you think of Arab alpha male marriage habits and the subjegation of women in Islam countries and what that reveals about the alpha male society. This is the final proof of how peaceful you are. Go study the subject at brilliant author Howard Blooms' site, or read his seminal books, and just try to discuss that gently! If you can pass that test and not get all stressed and mental like a Woman's Lib Post-Grad discussing her thesis, and never once showing rage at what these alpha males do....then you passed the gentleness test.
The greatest talent a woman can have in courtship is the meditational mind. That is a mind in total alpha wave. Practice empty mind just one minute every morning so that you can practice it on dates. It gives one a blissful smile, wide eyes like an infant. A beautiful visage. Look at a baby. They are in Alpha mind. When a thought crosses their mind, (infrequently) their eyes light up that blank but positive face and it's a thing of beauty. Men love it!
Last, if you don't believe you want to marry and you're over twenty five, think twice. If he loves you madly, and is a decent chap, do it. If you're over thirty, and loves you enough to propose, DO IT. If you're over forty and he proposes and loves you, get the Catholic Church to canonize him. THEN DO IT!
Major passion's a dime a dose
you get it when your life is froze.
it's instead of fame, instead of wealth
one gets the passion and nothing else.
Next lifetime maybe, you can line up those balls
get one good shot and have it all.
but in this lifetime, if the guy wants to marry,
Run don't walk. DO NOT TARRY!
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