CONSPIRACY THEORY 101, A COURSE IN SURVIVING THE INTERNET


CONSPIRE: Meanng literally "TO BREATHE TOGETHER". That's what this horrid thing is? Just sharing some breath? Well yes. And the words that ride ON that breath.

AGENDA! Can't you just see a few oligarchs dripping diamonds, noses touching over a silver tea pot at the Ritz Café in Paris, planning some gambit to clear the highways of people, drive out the welfare populations, thin the branches in the middle of the tree which prevent the light coming in so they can better grow fruit at the top, seize the fruit and control the world? So they can have only YUPPIES on the planet, with credit cards tied to Stepfather Bank, so inflation can run wild and the zooming spenders on the highway don't have to slow down for jalopies? So all the trans-national corporations can drive up the profits the ruthless l0% a year? Is that the plan?

YES! BELIEVE IT. That's what they plan An idyllic paradise of a planet, only for the super-rich with runaway inflation that only yuppies and oligarchs can handle, which leaves the rest of us readier to be slaves; that's what conspiring means up at that Olympian level. It means eradicating the liberals and Social Security and Charity and Welfare and Cheese giveaways.

And It doesn't take a lot of them to accomplish it. The few very wealthy, IN POWER people at the top have think tanks, foundations, lawyers and bought politicians. They think up the liturgy, make it official and then make it law. They don't think they're plotting against the rest of us to have an edge. (AS IF THEY NEEDED ONE!!)They simply have these think tanks around to advise them what policies work for their transnational corporations, and what laws to make so their transnationals slide through life. They have lawyers and the best politicians money can buy to make the laws. Soldiers and Cops to enforce their laws. It's only logical for them to do it this way. THEY NEED TO DO THIS to maintain control.

That is what Conspiracy Theory 101 is about. Understood and implied is that a few men hold all the strings and are pulling them to engineer a TILT to the playing board. To find out what they're doing, look at any modern event. For instance, the AIDS VIRUS crisis. Pretend it is NOT an accident, THEN search for the probable CUI BONUM? That's LATIN for who benefits from it. Who wins when a million folks die of HIV? That's easy. Those who want certain areas of the city or continent vacant, certain segments of us gone. There are people who despise Gays, Ghetto drug addicts, blacks, Africans. What if they wanted an entire rich, green continent just south of EUROPE vacated? It could happen. The idea is that Europe would benefit. Europe needs what Hitler called "Living Room." So if there's a benefit for somebody who COULD have engineered it, we have a viable conspiracy theory.

AIDS? See, the captains of industry in EUROPE COULD HAVE DONE the dirty deed. The Virus was in a few green monkeys, and then after the World Health Organization (a subsidiary of the New World Order's United Nations), shoots everybody in Africa up with Small Pox vaccinations, accidentally all of Africa gets it?

Now, many of you think of me as a rational soothsayer, a metaphysician, a kindly white witch who lives in the San Fernando Valley just north of Hollywood and grows BLUE CORN and loves her chicken Puck Puck but my chicken and some of my close personal friends know what I haven't even told my parents: that I am a raving conspiracy theory buff.

I collect wild theories. These run to who's profiteering from public dumbness, which oligarchs are screwing which segments of the stranded, suffocating population --- Who assasinated whom. Who profits from such and such a trade/ economic or political arrangement. Basic "NO DUH" "somebody's out there KILLING us" theory.

I am not a lone nut. The internet is FULL of us. You can surf puzzles and conspiracies hourly out there. There are many puzzle collectors. We arrange conspiracy theories in funny little articles and hoarde the articles in drawers, later to join them together when pieces fit. Get enough pieces, I publish them under someone else's name in case they still kill people for spreading anti-authoritarian material.

Researching conspiracies is not easy for me as I have the attention span of a gnat, so I need help all the time. YOU CANNOT ask a question of a search engine if you don't already know the answer, or ask for an answer if you don't know the question. That's a problem. Luckily, I have smart tekkie webpals, hackers who send me posts, news, clues and URLS.

So what else do PC phreaks do on a machine made of silicone, beach sand and water? We SURF. And this is like trying to mine diamonds dodging freeway traffic. You get a lot of lumps of coal and a lot of fenders in your teeth.

Example of a lump of coal. Surfing one of the URLS my phreak pals had sent, I arrived at the greatest sounding website. "THE WORLD'S BIGGEST CONSPIRACY", a front page with a great graphic of black void lit by a single, burning candle, really well done JAVA giving the cartoon candle some movement, and a little clickable URL sign like Alice in Wonderland got, on a table with a cookie that said 'EAT ME" only this one says "THE MYSTERIES ARE HERE --- SOMEWHERE. As I say, it was underlined ---meaning it's an URL so I click, go to another blank page with a few inscrutable words. "KEEP SEARCHING" underlined. Tap. Soon I see it's a mobius loop. I go nowhere.

NO INDEX, no archive. I cannot abide websites that don't show the goods fast, or have an index and an archive. I loathe the ones that say 'send for video 29$, send for book 24$ too. If it's valuable truth that's gonna save humanity, make it FREE fer Crissakes! So, pissed at time lost, I write the guy.

"OH GREAT QUIRKY ENIGMA MAN. Oh great sociocologistpath of the website. Our fingers fly o'er the keys, like darting roaches we seek out the crumbs of wisdom. Yea though we walk in the valley of caffeine, our minds are hungry for the True Guru. Do not blame us if in our hurry, we touch at your gate, ring the bell and hearing no motion within, move on. For we are not psychic. We cannot see THRU the gate. We know not where thou hidest thy archive, or even if we stroll in the front door so coyly underlined, whether what we seek is there. Such coyness bewilders. It does not allure. Just say "ARCHIVE HERE" with an big ARROW and a LINK, underlined in BLUE, that will suffice. Go to this or that website. I TOSS HIM SOME URLS.. Archive is on the index page, the front page, the ENTRANCE LOBBY if you will. Touch anything and it delivers what is promised. Go to my own website, It's an archive. Front page, the ARROW says free scopes, free dailies. Free palmistry readings, ARCHIVE here, and a stack of links to articles, what I call clickable urls. Articles are there under those URLS.. TOUCH IT YOU GET IT.

It is yours. GENEROSITY to seeking minds, hospitality to visitors. Just come in, eat, leave. TIME is what surfers have very little of. Get'em started READING. The substantial stuff is there. They will be drawn into spend time. So I go on to berate the guy "I think perhaps the reason you're so quirky is that you think nobody's coming anyway. We ARE COMING. We HAVE COME but sonny, We have LEFT. And the chance of our FINDING YOU AGAIN or wending our way back here? Snowball in hell. Unless your name is CocaCola.com -------NOBODY remembers your URL. So what is your plan? Your agenda? Well, I didn't realize I was dealing with a twit. The jerk answers me. "I have no interest in putting up any sort of archive. We have no conspiracy theories, just conspiracy FACTS, and we don't have any reason to share those. The peabrain signs it "A minor minion of the Shadowy Leader of The Great Conspiracy. "

As I type fast, and it's no sweat for me, I decide to give him one more swack: "Dear Minor Minion", I write him. "Can't figure why anyone would PRIDE himself on being a minion of a shadowy leader." Do you think you're being GOTHIC? And GOTHIC IS NIFTY?

I wait. He answers (smartly he thinks)......IDIOTICALLY I THINK: "Better to be a minor minion of the Shadowy Leader who will soon rule the world than be in charge of some stupid government that will soon go away." NAHHH-NAHH. (thumb to nose)

I am nothing if not patient. "SONNY. -- (I've got his number) --- You state clearly here that you have conspiracy facts. Are they somewhere on your website? Does one go thru the haunted house, touching the walls, passing thru the darkened halls, blindly feeling one's way in the dark and eventually hit information for the mind? Bluster and fluster usually conceal emptiness. Since there's NOTHING on the main page, except this mysterious "ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER" kind of caveat pinned to the wall of an empty room, a sonorous echo of void rings in our ears and we abandon entering ---all we who HOPE!

Why be in cyberspace if you haven't info to share? And if you DO, under what flap is it tucked? And, Oh minion of the leader, is he as shadowy as you? And why?" IF the NEW WORLD ORDER works in darkness, why can't we work in LIGHT?

Comes the answer from the raven loud and clear: "The goal of the site is to convince people that The Great Conspiracy doesn't exist, using reverse psychology."

That's so oriental it's unfathomable. I couldn't figure out what it even meant, and as by NOW I realized he was all of 16 years old, and would one day GROW into a human, I figured' I'd send him a list of very real conspiracies. Here is the list I sent him.

DEAR JERK: Real horrors are out there. Bad things happen to good people, like Rwanda, Fathers shooting every member of their own family, unemployment, war, the draft, hunger, famine, exploitation of resources by transnationals, excessive taxing of lower classes, engineered diseases, designed to empty the planet. Runaway manufacturing, exported to third world, rampant unemployment, Military bases being changed into concentration camps for the unemployed, those without credit cards..."

And I'm writing this list, sweat pouring off my brow, my memory cramping....when it occurs to me that the phreaks who I've met on the net could give me a real professional list of the number one CONSPIRACY THEORIES. So I don't send the letter. I write them first. LIke calling in all these six foot four brains to hit this sixteen year old between the eyes. When weak wimpo here can't do it.

So I'm not only not very muscley, I'm a beggar with a plate out. "Alms for the aging journalist." Throw a clink in the plate. Any conspiracy theory will do. Insecticide Contrails to poison us further? And I promise my tutors that I will publish the final list elsewhere, so let's not just do this to edify a MONSTROUSLY STUPID PERSON who just happens to know how to create java websites. Let's do it for the future and our children.

 I wait. My pals answer. Letter after letter. It's raining conspiracies. I've got a cache directory and I'm collecting them. I get this: Bavarian Illuminati (a bad conspiracy), Rosicrucian Illuminati (a good conspiracy)The Olympians, The Black Nobility , The Federal Reserve Conspiracy The International Bankers Conspiracy, The Satanic Conspiracy, The Illuminati conspiracy (somewhere between the other two, The Zionist Conspiracy, The Anti-Defamation League, The Power Elite, The Secret Team, The Secret Government, The Privy Council (UK)The Council of Principals (US), The Mossad, The CIA, Other (out of control) Intelligence Agencies.

And I'm stumped. I do a search on a few of these famous, old FORTUNE FIVE HUNDRED of Conspiracy Theories. The ancient ELITE THEORIES. Some of them date back CENTURIES. And I am going to include them in the C.T 101 course CONSPIRACIES FOR DUMMIES but I'm hungrier for the subtle, little MODERN conspiracies where we don't see that anyone is benefitting or we don't see that the guy who did it and who benefitted were the same guy. There have to be a million of 'em as these N.W.O. types are getting as fast as WE are!

So where do I start? In conspiracy theories, you always have to see who benefitted AFTER the fact? That's your bestest CLUE. For instance. HITLER used to cause a big building to burn up, then he'd blame some group of people and get to freely rub them out. Nobody would complain. So the model is: Something horrible is engineered, and this allows new astringent laws to be made. Like COLUMBINE high school students run amok and Oklahoma gets bombed and USA gets guns outlawed, or something like that.

Let's go back to the conspiracy theory take on HIV is that HIV was engineered. Who would benefit? Doctors? People who will buy verdant real estate in AFRICA after the excess population is gone? NO! Mineral mining corporations. And the Fortune 500 who will sell Beamers to African Yuppies who never got the disease as only starving natives were vaccinated.
Let's take another catastrophe. Look at every financial crash of the stock market. The conspiracy theory version is all of those crashes were engineered. That somehow, insider trading and stock crashes favored a few rich guys who then could buy up all the chips two cents on the dollar. The guys who control things control a little MORE after a crash. A crash tilts the gameboard, eradicates the small players and gives the Big Bozos ALL the chips.

And there are so many MORE theories out there. One of the wildest that I've rejected because I'm pure in heart (HAH!) is "Let's 'poison em' all" theory.' You know what CONTRAILS are.... don't you? Apparently a new kind of plane is going over the whole country, by the hundred, mile by mile, spreading some kind of smoke in the air. They've been seen everywhere and it's on over the net, not just at conspiracy sites. I've read the thing with contrails is.....the poison they put into them is activated by the WINTER FLU shots. You don't want your elders to get those shots any more. Or your young children.

See, pruning the tree is the favored technique of the GERMAN GARDENER. It is a form of reducing the hordes of useless eaters crowding up the planet. The Nazis were big on this and who said they lost the war? Their INTELLIGENCE people were ALL brought over here in '45 by Project PAPER CLIP. They're still working for the CIA. Some are RUNNING it. Look up GEHLEN organization on a search engine.

Many of the conspiracy theories are based on "LIFEBOAT theory". To survive in a small lifeboat, you have to throw a FEW people overboard. They're heavy, they're consuming resources. This is part of Malthusian population reduction practices. Thomas MALTHUS was the J.K. Galbraith of his day, a teacher at the Maritime College in London, 400 years ago, and the explorers LOVED his theory that the world was small, people would multiply and soon there wouldn't be enough land and food, so the tight little Island Britain had better conquer the world, appropriate land on other continents fast before the Portuguese, Spanish, Dutch or French did it. They all had great navies and were in competition.

So ever since, trading, boating countries have been conquering and enslaving not only the populace of distant lands but the Kings and Rulers of these exotic corners of the world. So they could get the inside deal. And when AFRICA got so uppity that they repo-ed RHODESIA (Cecil Rhodes personal country) renaming it ZAIRE or some such NATIONALIST JIVE ASS name and when the blacks KILLED OFF all the Whites there White Man took a NEW TACK. AIDS or HIV is a kind of NEUTRON BOMB. It leaves the infrastructure, the hive in perfect condition; it just kills off those bothersome ANTS.

The HIV thing didn't work effectively enough here, on this continent. The needle freaks and gays started sterilizing needles or using prophylactics. Our women rarely catch bisexual AIDS as their cervixes aren't all holes from non specific vacteria. (Entry ways to the bloodstream,) Most Africans already have several resident viruses and very compromised immune systems. Our American people may not have better nutrition but they have HMO's that can detect and laser holes in our cervixes! Our immune systems aren't compromised like those of Africans who have HOLES GALORE in their reproductive parts thru which the virus could enter, making AIDS a big HIT in Africa!! In some countries everybody died! Just the way the New World Order likes it!

But for the OLIGARCHS in AMERICA, it's now back to the drawing board to come up with ways to accidentally have all us Americans all fall down dead and have it look like a bad head cold. And they seem to have come up with it with the CONTRAILS theory. That's a hot one on the internet these days. Do a search on word 'contrails'

The man who sent me this URL, John Hammell, is very bright, he believes that the population reduction theory is absolutely solid. He said that Richard Malinowski, whose URL it is, "thoroughly examines the "chemtrail" controversy. It took me 2 hours to read the whole thing. I don't agree with his "most probable" conclusion, however, that we're being immunized against anthrax by the spraying... I agree with his "second to most probable" conclusion that itís a population control initiative, an effort to weaken us, to subdue us so we won't riot due to y2k and so that when they DO unleash anthrax, our immune systems will be so damaged that they'll take out as many of us as possible.

He goes on: "The UN has adopted the radical environmentalism of Earth First, which espouses "rewilding" the planet-- that is, they endorse GENOCIDE. The ruling elite can retreat to places like Mt.Weather, where they can play golf and swim in complete comfort and dine on filet mignon and caviar with the finest vintage French wines... while we starve, die off from dehydration, are killed by anthrax, and are herded into Gulags and forced to work at slave labor.

Now, that's SERIOUS conspiracy theory, but that's what I'm talking about here. Heartless stuff. Now, before you scream at me, I'm a derranged psychic and my head is about to blow off. Remember IRELAND in the mid 1800's. In the wake of a potato fungus, much of the population of every city and county died of starvation over a five year period. They were a colony of ENGLAND who did NOT bring in food. WHO did not have soup kitchens, who did not supply them with wheat and barley seed for low cost or for free, who just LET THEM DIE OFF. CUI BONUM? ENGLAND. There are only two kinds of people. Those who sit down to eat at the table and those who are eaten. Who starved?? THE IRISH.

"Trust me" Hammel continues. "I'm a Washington lobbyist, I know the mindset of these SELF-SERVING bought politicos like Clinton better than you would ever want to, and most of our so called "leaders" are nothing more than a pack of posers and opportunists who would sell out their own mothers, if they thought they'd come out ahead somehow. Are they evil enough to do this to us? Absolutely. Beyond any shadow of doubt. " John Hammel.

I received the above from a man whose work as an advocate and lobbyist for alternative modalities and health freedom is impeccable. I've received his newsletter for a year now. He goes to planetary conferences, chases the United Nations down, works against this strange, new, weird kind of 'possessed' UNITED NATIONS, The Stepford Nations, which is creating strange new laws, from a centralized site, bypassing any individual country's Congress, gratuitously making laws that affect the ENTIRE PLANET.

The thing Hammel's mostly been fighting is the U.N. CODEX which is trying to take away the free sale of vitamins and healing herbs, in order to give them only to the pharmaceutical industry, make them illegal at healthfood stores. ECHINECEA and Goldenseal would be illegal. If you grew them for dosing your kids when they got the flu, the government could 'seize' your home.

Oh, there's another NEW conspiracy TREND, legally speaking, Government SEIZURE of all possesions of one who racketeers, conspires to do a crime or grows 'illegal' substances. You may want to check on this. There are many related URLS:

  • SEARCH AND SEIZURE
  • NEW WORLD ORDER: The true Nature of this group of SUPER WEALTHY MEN called the N.W.O is found at http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/4742/nwoindex.html
  •   3.) MURDER OF POPULATION WITH ANTHRAX: The FACT is that Anthrax is the quickest poison out there. If anybody wanted to kill a lot of us fast and had lots of it (like the government who might and does) THIS is how they'd do it.

    The government could be concerned about rioting, people getting strange while Y2k is going on, when FOOD is denied us. Bottom line is... who in Washington needs all of us? Unemployed, hungry, welfare recipients are not on their Xmas card list.

    But these aren't ALL the conspiracy theories out there, not by a long shot.

    Here are some others. The full list of WHAT JERRY (Mel Gibson) KNEW and didn't tell JULIA ROBERTS in the movie, CONSPIRACY THEORY, although the script did mention them all real fast, and only if YOU KNEW one would you recognize it as Mel Gibson talked real fast and Jerry really didn't have time to get to them all in detail as the movie was only 110 minutes long. But here's all that you need to be up on, to face the internet. "Your 30 BASIC CONSPIRACY THEORIES" And hey, I'm not joking all of these are out there. I didn't make 'em up.
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    Now students, I'm not just going to hand this all to you. I am going to make you WORK. We are going to have a test. Which of the following conspiracy theories is REAL and which is BOGUS? You will be graded on this. Pay attention. You will only get to the second level, CT 102 if you get better than ten right.
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    THE 30 CONSPIARCY THEORIES THAT DIDN'T MAKE IT INTO JERRY's dialogue IN THE MOVIE CONSPIRACY THEORY
    (Mel Gibson played Jerry) Reason: because studio Development execs thought they'd get whacked if they even spoke of 'em:

    1. The new hundred and new fifty dollar bills! What was wrong with the old ones? Nothing! An' if it ain't broke, why fix it? Well, here's the real reason. The new ones are implanted with a tracking device so that they can keep tabs on people who don't use banks. The gov wants to know about ALL under-the- table earnings. And here's the heartbreaker, the less interest you earn, the more of a buzz your home stash of a wad makes!

    2. The chip, a device made of a untraceable material that is implanted in every person's head at birth and the tip is filled with a drop of poison just enough to kill you if necessary but its primary function is a location device to pinpoint your exact location at anytime.

    3. Movie Theaters! Why don't they just release it on tape so you can watch it in the privacy of your own home and you don't have to go to smelly over crowded theaters. Because the theatre is where they install the chip in your butt,

    4. DOWN SCHOOLING at public schools. Gov does not want independent thinkers. They want mindless drones or model citizens so that's what they engineer you to be. A dweeb. Only the strong willed and strong minded don't get sucked into the puerile headtrips, activities et.al.

    5.Area 51! This base is nothing more than a government hoax created by the government to take the focus off the real base AREA 52 in Flint Michigan. Or why do you think they emptied that joint of people and have all those empty GM factories standing vacant? Don't get me wrong area 51 once was the G spot but I'm sure the people who are a little older will remember the NYC black-out that was how they diverted the attention off the MOVE. (the alien body and craft and other top secret objects.) Michael Moore is a double operative, ROGER AND ME a cover op, a red herring the govm't created to publicize fact that Flint isn't happening so everyone would move outta there.

    6. Kennedy's death! Well we all know the single bullet theory is impossible because the bullet would have to have had to make several twists and turns that are not supported by the laws of physics. So here's what happened Kennedy was a British spy with a 007 rating. He'd been conscripted as a kid in UK with Dad the Ambass. JFK was there on a job, to whack the Texas governor who'd have been the Oil Lobby's candidate for VP in 64 had they all lived. JFK did not intend John Connolly to be in office behind him, as then the lobby would have whacked JFK. SO he had his men shoot CONNOLLY that day. JFK's goons' bullet did Connolly's wrist and leg wound. But here's the amazing coincidence. The Oil Lobby last minute said 'why wait?' And they had shooters get JFK at the same instant. The intersection was so perfect, both teams picked it!

    6A. JFK JR's death. This was obviously rigged. JFK JR was the only person in America, who, had he declared for any race, senate, presidency, would have WON hands down. Demos had just asked him to run. He was thinking of the NY Senate Seat that Hillary was going after as a carpetbagger. By the way JFK's wife was 6 mos preggers with a son! Extremely new technology was used. A reporter saw the explosion in the air and reported it to New England Gazette. The New World Order knocked plane's tail off and TWO KINGS went down into the briny deep, this popular, adored, tiny coffin-saluting Prince was really a socialist, leftist, liberal, a heart-centered man who could have been elected to PRESIDENT easily. His son would have been President just as easily in 2050. A real tragedy for the planet. This was the Great White Hope. Not Barack Obama.

    7. Mars pathfinder! For years the government has been receiving radio waves from below the surface of mars. The real purpose of the pathfinder mission was to further explore the radio waves. The craft is equipped with directions to the new area 52 in Flint Michigan in case they find a lost civilization that knows how to build fuel-free motor cars.

    8. The recent Oklahoma City bombing in Federal building! The bomber was (in a way), a government agent. He was a monitored flunkie. GOVERNMENT knew he was coming as they'd penetrated his militia group and his phones. PROOF: All the real big DEA guys didn't come to work that morning. This UGLY MASS MURDER was part of the N.W. Order plot to sicken Americans against weirdos and let NSA/FBI/ DEA, etc have total oversight of all militia groups, all rebels. MORE wire taps, more curtailment. Less rebellion in the populace tolerated. They let the bomber do it so the war on the AMERICAN people could go into HYPERGEAR!

    9. The Millennium Bug! TECHNOLOGY manufacturers were getting their ass whipped in stock market so Bill Gates created this y2k buzz to scare PC users into buying new software, to get the profits from all the millennium bug software. Or why do you think in JAN 99 he was worth 50 billion and by JULY he was worth 90 BILLION. HUH? HUH?

    10. Superman formula! Back when the Austrian, Hitler was in power he experimented with a formula that was something like steroids but stronger and he gave it to several children. Most of the children whereabouts are unknown but it is a fact, Austrian, Arnold Schwarzeneggar was one of the children.

    11. Asteroids! Over 200 asteroids hit the planet every year the government has been testing a weapon that docks with the asteroid and installs enough atom bombs --just enough to change its course so they can start using them as weapons of mass destruction. The program was underfunded until Steven Spielberg was convinced by NASA to make that COMET movie. They convinced him by threatening his wife, Kate Capshaw would be injected with fertility drugs so she'd have nine more children.

    12. Secret logon files! The government gets a list of every website that every person in the united states visits to keep an eye on people who visit conspiracy, hacker, phreaker, hacker and militia cracker sites. This violates many laws but they're the government; who's gonna stop them? And who of us is smart enough to rewrite the internet codes. And who of is is going to stop going to freaky sites?

    13. Mind control! The government has been programming army and navy solders for 10 years to be trained killers. Somewhere someone slipped up because Iraquis captured two programmed men in Desert Storm. The men would not stop screaming and kicking so they were tied to chairs and began to shred their gags and chew their arms off to get free. The Iraquis had to kill them, happened to have no bullets, so used bookends to smash their skulls, found none-human copper wiring in doberman pinscher brains. They were programmed to do their mission at any cost. Well, if you don't buy dog brains, look up MK ULTRA, the one mentioned in Mel Gibson movie and Parallex View with Warren Beatty.

    14.The HMS / SS ADOLPH. 10 years ago a Russian sub on the sea floor picked up a radar beep. They sent down an ROV to investigate and found an ancient German submarine. Inside, Documents? Weapons? No it was the cryogenically frozen head of Adolph Hitler. They brought it up, put it on the body of the governor from Little Rock.

    15. Heavens Gate! They were Hacker inventors who encrypted software better than anybody and simply knew too much and could see thru any code. The government killed all of them. That comet crap was just a cover story.

    16. Martin Luther King's death! He was killed by Kennedy so JFK could seem to be the only one fighting for the equal rights cause. A case of "I'm Gandhi, you're not."

    17. Barcodes! They keep a record of every thing every person buys --everything I mean right down to some bum's bottle of whiskey to Bill Gates purchasing latest copy of BIG HOOTERS. The super market scans a so called CLUB CARD which indexes your purchases, ID's your life habits, style and probable income and relays data to a central data bank. You can refuse a club card and pay more for groceries but in that case you're stupid. They only want the rap sheet on smart people. WAY OUT? Go to small, ultra cheap barrio markets if you are a smart, cagy paranoia freak.

    18. The signals! NASA sends out radio signals all over space to all different locations, planets, stars, comets, asteroids etc. But over the last 5 years NASA has sent 158 radio signals to the same location! When the phreak at one conspiracy site looked it up there was no listing for what it was. 2 signals sent ok a mistake but 158 signals! ANSWER. It's someone NASA knows!

    19. Cartoons! Back in the 1945-1950ís cold war, CIA agents used to trade messages thru magazine and newspaper cartoons because phone lines were not secure there were secret messages in them so that the Russians did not pick them up it was the only way they could trade information if you can get your hands on those old magazines, look closely and you will see the messages.

    20. FBI celebrity records! It is know that the FBI keeps records on famous actors, singers and sports players. It was discovered that they had a very detailed record on Joe Demaggio, weird. Why a record on celebrities? POSSIBLE ANSWERS: Who better than the INTELLIGENCE guys who work for the 14 families, implement oligarch agendas, to a.) know the skivvy on who's boinking what, which celebrity has what skeleton in which closet, so in case a celeb decides to RUN later, you can say, 'down boy, you're too liberal, too stupid and too popular. PLUS we know this about your ass!"

    21. The real MIB! For years people have been reporting men in black in black suits, black cars abducting them and doing it and acting in such a manner that if they told anyone the would be deemed insane. WHO are they? What are they checking up on?

    22. Elvis! From then to now, people report seeing him. He had no autopsy -- a closed coffin funeral and had enough money to last him for a lifetime. His daughter's got a Princess Diana complex and is now reportedly having a garage sale of his stuff in VEGAS, where the highrollers are going to PAY MEGABUCKS for it and she's taking the money to build a big HOMELESS PEOPLE complex. Prediction. After she's canonized by the American people, the democrats will approach her to run for office and the CIA will wire Michael Jackson to EXPLODE in her and kill 'em both off. Two Queens with ONE stone!

    23.Tupac Shakur! There have been reports of him being seen he has made several new movies and albums how could he be dead! A dead person can't make movies canít make albums or do anything like that. Ergo, heís not dead!! Then why this pretense? PROBABLE ANSWER. He's going to testify in secret hearings about how the MAFIA controls RAP music.

    24. No air! There have been testing of a bomb that sucks in air for an enormous amount of space such as the atmosphere over an entire continent. The USA has a plan to declare a world wide peace agreement in 2001 than in 2002 hold Europe hostage threatening to use the new bomb the money the us gets will help them on there plan for world domination.

    25.UFO conspiracy! The government has made contact with aliens from beyond the Milky Way. They first met with Harry Truman. Latest POTUS contactee was Ronald Reagan which is what made him give his speech about UFOís. They were pals with the Nazis first, gave them neon signs, rocket tech and lava lamps, but then the aliens switched to USA and have given American scientists a lot of wild inventions like Velcro, CD-ROM tech, fizzy candy and AIDS retroviruses.

    26. Government drug conspiracy! Back in the 30ís the OSS (early CIA) and Flying Tigers were in China fighting MAO they saw all that opium which was funding the Nationalists and ChainG Kai Shek, they began importing drugs to their pals in the SYNDICATE in NYC and CHICAGO and MIAMI, using a top OSS guy. Then CIA started importing/ distributing heroin during Nam period, sewing it into dead G.I's corpses, using Mobster, Santo Tranficante Jr/ Sr. in Miami, THEN they switched to COKE during the Latin American insurgency period of 80's. They still use Mafia and CIA has been floating in funding ever since.

    27. Absolute zero power! The government just started testing a brand new fuel for deep-space travel. It is what holds everything together its what holds atoms together its what makes gravity be gravity and there is and endless supply of it cause it is everywhere and it is stronger by far then 1 billion a-bombs they are working on a way to harness it. COSMIC GLUE, (working title for it) has one drawback. If it gets on your fingers, there is absolutely no solvent that can dissolve it.

    28. POPULATION ERADICATION. Malthusian basic Life Boat theory. The fact is, that to the New World Order billionaire oligarchs who run the planet and totally control the U.N., four billion of us are expendable. For additional info on how they plan to DO this, see urls on CONTRAILS, ANTHRAX.

    29. WORLD WAR II. A CONSPIRACY FROM ASS TO CANDLESTICK! The 29th and worst CONSPIRACY THEORY. This came to me from a friend, a high tech guy. "The world has been made, (brainwashed), to demonize the Nazis. I am neither a neo-Nazi nor a supporter of Hitler's Nazi regime. With the little research I have done on the period 1895 to 1945 has proved to me that the Germans did not start WWI or WWII. It was Britain who started both wars. They were afraid that Germany, with its superior scientific and technological innovation, would encroach upon her global empire. In the late 1920's and 30's Churchill made several journeys to America to generate support for a second all-out war against Germany, to finally and totally destroy the German nation and annihilate the Germany people from the face of the Earth. Churchill got Roosevelt
    to build up his armaments in the late thirties for that purpose. He also started Britain's armaments escalation in late 1935. And I dare say it was Churchill who engineered the Jews of New York to proclaim a world war against Germany in 1933, with a total world-wide boycott of German goods. Hitler came to power with a devastated Germany following the victors package of the Versailles's Treaty. Germany was destitute with the highest unemployment, rampant starvation, crime of all sorts, prolific prostitution, and the rampages of the Jewish Marxist stranglehold from Russia across Europe. Hitler gave the German people hope, pride in themselves and pride in their nation. He generated work for the people and built the world's first motorways (autobahns) across Germany. It was Hitler who designed the people's car, the VW. He virtually eliminated crime and prostitution. In six years he had achieved for Germany something that no other nation had ever achieved on the face of the Earth. Germany became the most prosperous nation under Hitler. Their arts, sciences and technological innovation and development became the envy of the world. And so, as Britain had planned, and in cahoots with Roosevelt and the Jews, Britain used Poland as proxy to declare war against Germany. Hitler made many attempts for peace with Britain in the early stages of the war, all of which were rebuffed by Churchill. Churchill wanted blood pure and simple, real blood, and was determined to get it at any and all costs. And so he did! The only holocausts of WWII were the fire-bombing of Dresden and Hamburg. The so-called holocaust of the Jews was a total and complete fabrication created by Churchill during the war. And so what we have been brain-washed into believing about the Nazis and Hitler is about 98 percent fabricated by Britain, America, France and in no small measure, the Jews. Thus history has been created over the last five thousand years. Do you not think it is time that
    humanity awoke from this pitiful state of slumber and the belief that our leaders have our bests interests
    at heart?

    Now, being a JEW myself, by paternal bloodline if not churchgoing as my Ma was a mass-attending Catholic, I answered my dear pal thusly:  "Philip, I find that info fascinating. Really I do. However, kill 6 million jews cuz of a few bankers like the Rothschilds, Morgans, Solomon Bros. and that's your final solution? You lost me. Tidy up a country without genocide. Hey, it works every time."

    30). US GOV is using HAARP to create HURRICANES aimed at destroying CUBA. They missed and hit NEW ORLEANS INSTEAD

    31). A VERY ODD THEORY, INVOLVING CONSPIRACIES. JFK & LINCOLN and some mathematical IMPROBILITIES.


    OK, send me your test answers and meanwhile, until I get back to you, DO A SEARCH ON: ANTHRAX, CONTRAILS, NEW WORLD ORDER, Illuminati, ZERO POWER, ELVIS MEMORABILIA AUCTION, GREEN MONKEY + AIDS, TRAFICANTE + CIA. astrology at earthlink net is me. Anita

    <===== BACK TO JERRY's REFRIGERATOR and the TIN FOIL HAT COLLECTION OF CONSPIRACY THEORIES.