RESUME FOR DUBYA and then a POEM ON HIM!
Hey waitaminute here. This is my TRUE BIO? How'd ya get THAT?
I GOOGLED. SO OK> FIRST, BUSH JR. RESUME,
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE
LAW ENFORCEMENT: I was arrested in Kennebunkport,
Maine in 1976 for driving under the influence of
alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my
driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas
driving record has been "lost" and is not available.
MILITARY: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and
went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any
questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air
National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in
COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University. I was a
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
I began my career in the oil business in Midland,
Texas in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't
find any oil in Texas. Hard to do I might add.
The company went bankrupt shortly after I was wide
enuf to sell all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a
sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
With the help of my father and our right-wing friends
in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I
was elected Governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil
companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the
During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the
most smog-ridden city in America. Hey. Shit happens.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the
tune of billions in borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any
Governor in American history.
With the help of my brother, the Governor of Florida,
and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I
became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.
THAT was hard but I DID IT!
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing
cost of over one billion dollars per week. So far
190 billion but hey, who's counting? Certainly not
the stupes who elected me! haw haw. Little joke.
I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted
the U.S. Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit
in U.S. history.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies
filed in any 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in t
history of the U.S. stock market.
I am the first president in U.S. history to enter
office with a criminal record.
I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in
any one year period.
After taking-off the entire month of August, I
presided over the worst security failure in
U.S.history. (NOT!) We knew it was happening.
We needed it to happen to give us a new reason
to wage war on OIL RICH LANDS abroad!
I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical
Bunker Buster," a Weapon of Mass Destruction.
In my State Of The Union Address, I lied about our
reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on
our British friends.
I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips
by a U.S. president.
In my first year in office over 2-million Americans
lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration
than any president in U.S. history.
I set the record for least amount of press conferences
than any president since the advent of television.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S.
history and refused to intervene when corruption
involving the oil industry was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S.
I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and
support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops
and their families -- in war time.
I have set the all-time record for most people
worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public
venues (15 million people) shattering the record for
protest against any person in the history of mankind.
I've broken more international treaties than any
president in U.S. history.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the
richest of any administration in U.S. history. My
"poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron
oil tanker named after her. How'd ya like to be that poor?
I am the first president in U.S. history to order an
unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military
occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the
will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S.
citizens, and the world community.
I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the
largest bureaucracy in the history of the United
States government .
I am the first president in U.S. history to have the
United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights
I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S.
"prisoners of war" (detainees) and thereby have
refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
I am the first president in history to refuse United
Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S.
I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for
receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of
my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the
largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history. My
political party used the Enron private jets and
corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S.
Supreme Court during my election decision. I have
protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against
investigation or prosecution. More time and money was
spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than
has been spent investigating one of the biggest
corporate rip-offs in history. That takes talent!
I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the
World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later
made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the
largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
I am first president in history to have a majority of
Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest
threat to world peace and security.
I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals
to be awarded government contracts.
I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring
Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein to justice.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas are now
in my father's library, sealed, and unavailable for
All records of SEC investigations into my insider
trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in
secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my
Vice-president, attended regarding public energy
policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for
Please consider my experience when voting in 2004 -
Send this and the POEM BELOW to every voter you know.
A SIMPLE POME
Dry drunk in the White House
Pentagon scum vee pee;
world's at war since they got here.
why should that shock you and me?
Good prexies die in Texas.
Bad ones are born or dwell there.
Some places just have hexes.
But go visit, you will find Hell there.
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