How did they break up the Million Man March?
     They handed out job applications.

How are men like parking spaces?
     Most of them are taken, and the ones that aren't are all handicapped.

Confucius say:
     Man who walk through door sideways going to Bangkok.

How are women like dog shit?
     The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
     Because he's black.

Why can't the government put Magic Johnson on a stamp?
     Everyone would be afraid to lick it.

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods.
     The bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
     The rabbit says, "No."
     So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a black baby?
     They named it Sum Ting Wong.

How do you draw a map of India?
     You connect the dots.

What's the difference between a white fairy tale and a black fairy tale?
     A white fairy tale starts out, "Once upon a time..."
     A black fairy tale starts out, "You ain't gonna believe this shit, mother fucker..."

Did you hear about the Polish guy who died shooting craps?
     The bullet richocheted off the porcelain.

Confucius say, "Seven day honeymoon make hole weak."

How do you get a nun pregnant?
     Dress her up as an altar boy.

What's the Cuban national anthem?
     "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."

You know how a Mexican knows when it's time to eat?
     His asshole stops burning.

What does a Chinaman call constipation?
     "Hung chow".

Did you hear about the midget who killed himself playing Ping Pong?
     He got too excited and ran off the table.

Why do Japanese people have tiny slits for eyes?
     From the flash.

How does a man fix his dishwasher?
     He slaps her.

Where were all the white people during "The Million Man March"?
     In the ghettos, getting their stuff back.

Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on "Star Trek"?
     Because they're not going to work in the future, either.

How is your boss like a diaper?
     He's always on your ass, and he's usually full of shit.