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Latest bad news for the insistently delusional:
The most recent CBS News poll, released February 27, has President Bush's approval rating at an all-time low of 34 percent,
and approval of his handling of the Iraq war at an all-time low of 30 percent.
The poll also shows that 70 percent of Americans, including 58 percent of Republicans, oppose the Dubai deal for control
over six major U.S. ports, and 64 percent disapprove of Bush's response to Hurricane Katrina victims.
Crazy Ann, Rush, and the Cheney press crew at Fox will be sweating bullets to present this as good news for The Party.
It's got to be tough for them. As I've suggested before in this space, being a Bush loyalist these days has to involve the
kinds of moral gymnastics that will have you shuffling around with a walker long before your time.
So, as I do from time to time out of empathy for the underdog, I now offer the few remaining Bush holdouts some talking
points for staking out the dwindling available arguments for their side.
If you know any Republicans -- or I should say if you know any remaining Bush Republicans -- tell them to try these self-reaffirming
lines, with my compliments:
- "Hey, since the Iraq blowup and the Dubai disaster, nobody's talking about those beers in the basket on Cheney's
hunting trip any more, are they?"
- "Looks like we're going to get away without any inquiry into that suspicious bulge in the back of Bush's suit jacket
during the 2004 Bush-Kerry debates. YES!"
- "We've got Judith Miller, Armstrong Williams and Jeff Gannon in our pocket any time we want them."
- "There has been absolutely no evidence of the President snorting cocaine in the White House before, during or after
the downturn in our Iraq war outcomes."
- "Notice how many Bush/Cheney stickers are still affixed to cars? We used non-removable permanent glue for a reason,
bucko."
- "Hey, now we've proved 'five-deferment Dick' is actually capable of wielding a firearm. Well, sort of."
- "Tell you one thing: Gay marriage won't be legalized anytime soon in the new Iraq. Damn right."
- "Look, they told me I was either with them or against them, OK? They threatened they'd 'Plame' my wife. I was scared.
I'll cooperate now. What do you want to know?"
(Add more as you wish, and please distribute freely to needy Republicans.)
© 2006 Bruce A. Jacobs (Posted 2/28/06)
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