Shallow Grave

Alex Law (Ewan McGregor) You've seen the flat? Cameron (Colin McCredie) Yes. Alex Law And do you like it? CameronYes, it's great. Alex Law Yes, it is, isn't it? We all like it. The room's nice too, don't you think? CameronYes. Alex Law Spacious, bright, well-appointed, all that sort of stuff, all that sort of crap. Cameron Well, yes. Alex Law Yes. So tell me, Cameron. Just tell me 'cause I'd like to know. What on earth could make you think we'd want to share a flat like this with someone like you? I mean my first impressions, and they're rarely wrong, is that you have none of the qualities we normally seek from a prospective flatmate, talking here about things like presence, charisma, style, and charm. And I don't thing we're asking too much. I don't think we're being unreasonable. Take David here, for instance. A chartered accountant he may be, but at least he tries hard. Trouble is, I don't think you're trying.

David Stephens (Christopher Eccleston) Victory is the same as defeat. It's giving in to destructive competitive urges.

Alex Law God, you two are sensitive! All I'm doing is implying some kind of ugly sordid sexual liaison. I'd be proud of that sort of thing.

David Stephens Normally I don't usually meet people, unless I already know them.

Alex Law is watching TV. Juliet Miller (Kerry Fox) Have you seen Hugo? Alex Law No. Any idea which channel he's on?

Alex Law It's not every day I find a story in my own flat. Juliet Miller It's not a story, Alex. It's a corpse.

Lumsden (Robert David MacDonald) Chartered accounting. It's often sneered at. Were you aware of that? David Stephens Not any real sneering as such, no. Lumsden There's a whole wide world out there, and it all needs to be accounted for, does it not? David Stephens Well, I-- Lumsden But they sneer, do they not? David Stephens I'm not sure. Lumsden Oh, it's unfashionable, I know, but yes, we're methodical, yes, we're diligent, yes, we're serious, and where's the crime in that? Why not shout it from the rooftops? Yes, maybe sometimes we're a wee bit boring, but by God we get the job done. David Stephens Yes, sir. Lumsden And that's why I think you fit in here. David Stephens I'm boring? Lumsden You get the job done. David Stephens Oh, I see. I thought you meant--

Alex Law Juliet, you're a doctor. You kill people every day.

Juliet Miller We're going to dance? Alex Law Well, it's physical contact, isn't it?

Alex Law Look over there! It's Cameron! Juliet Miller Who? Alex Law Cameron. You remember Cameron. Juliet Miller No, I don't. Alex Law What's he doing here? Juliet Miller That's not him. Alex Law It is. Cameron! Cameron! Come on over here! Come on! Cameron What? Alex Law Nothing. We thought you were someone else. Good luck. (Cameron leaves.) I love that guy, but why does he have to follow us around?

David Stephens You paid 500 pounds for this? Juliet Miller That's what it cost, David. David Stephens No, no, that's what you paid for it. Five hundred pounds is what you paid for it. We don't know how much it cost us yet. For you two to have a good time, we don't know the cost of that yet.

Alex Law I'm not frightened. I'm a little terrified, maybe.

Detective-Inspector McCall (Ken Stott) We understood there were four people here, not always, of course, but now. Four. David Stephens No, three. Who said there were four? Detective-Inspector McCall How strange, and how unsatisfactory, to have misleading information! Only three people here? You're sure? David Stephens Yes, absolutely. Who said there were four? Detective-Inspector McCall Make a note of that, Mitchell. Only three, rather than four. Write it down. You can use numbers or words. I have no preference. Which are you using? Detective-Constable Mitchell (John Hodge) Both, sir. Detective-Inspector McCall Excellent. DC Mitchell is a rising star, Mr. Stephens. Under my tutelage he will undoubtedly make the grade. David Stephens I see. Detective-Inspector McCall I doubt it.

Juliet Miller It's about me and David. Alex Law Oh, the perfect couple, I should say. Juliet Miller You mustn't take it so badly. Alex Law Oh, don't worry. I'd do exactly the same thing, only I don't think I'm his type.

Detective-Inspector McCall In your work you must meet lots of different people every day. New people, new faces, no? Juliet Miller Yes. Detective-Inspector McCall What do you recognize most, names or faces? Juliet Miller Diseases. Detective-Inspector McCall Like recognizing criminals by their crimes.