They're Makin' 'em Dumber Every Day

From The “They’re Makin’ ’em Dumber Every Day” File:


Dumb 01:

Sylmar
Teenage Murder Suspect Recaptured at McDonald’s 

   A murder suspect who escaped from Sylmar Juvenile Hall late Thursday night was recaptured about seven hours later as he stood in line at a nearby McDonald’s, authorities said.

   The escapee was not hard to spot - he was still wearing county-issued orange pants and a shirt that had the letters “Juvenile Hall” prominently displayed across his chest.

   The 16-year-old suspect, from North Hollywood, had been arrested Tuesday in connection with a drive-by shooting last month that killed 18-year-old Omar Mendez, said Det. Mike Coffey of the Los Angeles Police Department. Prosecutors say they will seek to try the boy as an adult.

   The teenager broke out of the facility’s infirmary, where he had been awaiting treatment for tonsillitis, said Craig Levy, spokesman for the Los Angeles County Probation Department.

   “He kicked out the window and climbed on top of one of the buildings,” Levy said, then used a blanket from the infirmary to scale a 15-foot-high wall topped with razor wire.

   The escape prompted authorities to order a round of security inspections of the Sylmar facility, at 16350 Filbert St.

Note: This is NOT an Urban Legend! The Los Angeles Times clipping quoted here is in my possession! This kid had seven hours to change his clothes... and didn’t.

Dumb 02:

San Francisco (Associated Press)
Woman Who Claimed To Find Finger In Chili Arrested

   Anna Ayala was taken into custody at her home, San Jose police spokesman Enrique Garcia said. He said police would not give any details until a news conference Friday afternoon. Las Vegas police also refused to comment.

   The arrest is the latest twist in the bizarre case about how the 1½-inch fingertip ended up in a bowl of fast-food chili.

   Ayala told police she found the finger March 22 while eating at a Wendy’s in San Jose. She said she intended to sue but relented, claiming the publicity was too emotionally taxing.

Editorial Note: Yeah. “emotionally taxing” Right. She “relented” because she knew it was fraud and extortion and she didn’t want to get caught. Shame she didn’t think of that before she made her bogus claim.

   When police and health officials failed to find any missing digits among the workers involved in the restaurant’s supply chain, suspicion fell on Ayala, whose story has become a late-night punch line.

   Ayala has a litigious history. She has filed claims against several corporations, including a former employer and General Motors, though it is unclear from court records whether she received any money. She said she got $30,000 from El Pollo Loco after her 13-year-old daughter got sick at one of the chain’s Las Vegas-area restaurants. El Pollo Loco officials say she did not get a dime.

Editorial Note: “…litigious history…” Well. There’s a shocker! Can somebody call housekeeping to clean up this puddle of sarcasm I just spilled all over The Web?

   Earlier Thursday, Ohio-based Wendy’s International Inc. announced it had ended its internal investigation, saying it could find no credible link between the finger and the restaurant chain.

   All the employees at the San Jose store were found to have all their fingers, and no suppliers reported any hand or finger injuries, the company said.

   Sales have dropped at franchises in Northern California, forcing layoffs and reduced hours, the company said. Wendy’s also has hired private investigators, set up a hot line for tips and offered a $100,000 reward for anyone who provides information leading to the finger’s original owner.

Editorial Note: Yeah… Where’d Ayala get the finger? That’s what I want to know. Who belonged to it in the first place? And which finger was it? I certainly hope it wasn’t the important one. Ayala’s getting the finger from enough folks; she doesn’t need it from the person she originally got it from! Sorry, folks, I just have to laugh about this one!




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