Peoples' Choice 2004

Adamantium Awards

Peoples' Choice 2004 - Romantic

Of Men, Gods and Animals by Blueprint

Title: Of Men, Animals and Gods
Category: Romantic, Novel.
Word Count: 23,184

Summary: After Scott brings Logan back on the team tensions run high and Jean appears to completely lose control of her Phoenix powers.
Universe: Ultimate X-Men, Alternate Universe. Set after Return of the King.
Spoilers: Contains spoilers for Return of the King as well as some mention of the earlier Ultimate X-Men graphic novels. There are also spoilers for the Wolverine 'Origin' series.
Disclaimer: Ultimate X-Men and its characters are owned by Marvel Inc. They are being reproduced for entertainment purposes only and no money is being made.

Prologue

"WOOOLVERIIINEEE!"

Logan shot up from his nest of bracken and moss into a crouch, his chest heaving. The cave he was in was illuminated by moonlight, the damp rock glistening where it reached. His eyes, still wild from the after-effects of the dream, searched out every crevice to make sure the voice had been in a dream and wasn't real. There was nothing there. Slowly his breathing slowed but the tightness in his chest didn't leave. The scream, Cyclops' scream, was still echoing in his mind. This wasn't the first time he'd dreamt of it, but it seemed to get worse every time.

Leaning forward onto his hands Logan crawled - the cave wasn't tall enough for him to stand up in - towards the opening. The cave was near the top of a hill and looked down into a valley. Every inch of land was covered heavily with snow. He shivered as the wind pierced through his furs to his sweat covered skin. With one last effort Logan pushed himself through the cave's opening, his knees sinking into the snow.

It had been a blurred few months since Cyclops kicked him off the team. Logan had wandered for a while after he recovered and made his way back to America, dragging himself from town to town and pub to pub. He'd had no conscious destination in mind but when he hit snow Logan realised he was near the Canadian border. And what better place for him to go but back into the Canadian wilderness? Sabretooth was right - though Logan hated to think that brainless, and now headless, moron was right about anything - he was nothing but an animal; a monster. He had no part in civilisation, let alone the X-Men.

Logan had set off into the wilderness with the mind to completely forget the human side of him. However, no matter that he lived like an animal now, no matter that he hunted and ate his meat raw and slept in a cave, he couldn't get rid of the scream that waited for him in his dreams. It lay in wait every night, ready to call to him, to taunt him-to haunt him. Clenching his fists Logan punched them into the snow, growling as the shock of cold shot up his arms. The pain was refreshing and focused his mind on something other than the dream.

Some time later Logan finally took his hands out of the snow- they were now practically blocks of ice-and dispassionately watched them heal. Not for the first time he wished that Cyclops had managed to kill him with that optic blast back in the Savage Land, after they'd defeated Magneto. Monsters didn't deserve to live. Gripping his hands at the furs covering his torso Logan looked up at the sky and howled, the sound ripping itself out of his chest and echoing off the surrounding mountains.

"You realise there's a perfectly good restaurant fifteen miles down the road?"

Logan watched the bear fall dead at his feet and stood there frozen, his arms still up with his claws extended. The voice went straight through to his gut, completely bypassing his animal side as if he hadn't been living like one for the past few months. Ironic, since before that voice had always seemed to bring the animal out of him, not the man. For a half moment Logan wondered if he was hallucinating; if he had taken a step further from only hearing Cyclops' screaming his name in his dreams. But it felt too real for that; he could smell Scott's scent on the wind. Logan said the first thing that came to his mind; the first words he'd spoken in a long while.

"What are you doing here Cyclops? Back for a rematch?" The words were automatic, leaving Logan's lips without any real thought. It was like picking up an unfinished game. Logan wondered though, if that really was why Scott was there - to finish him off. If it was Logan doubted he would fight back, he had no reason to any more. Logan tore off a piece of the bear's flesh from the wound he'd afflicted and bit into the meat to appease his empty stomach. He saw Scott hold back a grimace at this and smirked a little.

"To be honest, I'm not sure that what happened up in Magneto's hideout was technically a fight, Wolverine. It was more like me cutting loose with an optic blast and you going down like a nine-pin."

Logan almost laughed. "What are you saying? That I deserved to get in a few licks before I hit the deck?"

"Well, that depends on just how bad you think it is for a man to try to off his teammate in a seedy bid to steal his girlfriend. Do you think you deserved what you got back there?"

"Only every cut and bruise," Logan answered after a moment, his expression darkening. "That said, I'm kinda surprised to see you coming up here and reopening old wounds, bub." Or unhealed wounds, Logan thought. "Ain't it enough to just boot me off the team? Do you really need to track me down, after all these months, and rub my nose in it again?" In his peripheral vision Logan noticed Scott walk closer and felt himself tensing instinctively.

"I didn't come here to rub your nose in it, Wolverine. I came up here to apologise."

Logan spun around and stared at Scott, "Come again? I try to kill you to get my hands on Jean and you're the one who owes me an apology? What the hell have you got to be sorry about, Cyclops?"

Scott looked away as he spoke, "Acting like a caveman when I'm supposed to be the leader of a post-human learning cell. I mean think about it - the Professor sets up this school to teach young mutants how to use their powers both safely and responsibly. His big idea is that, after we graduate, we take these pacifist ideals out into the real world and teach everyone that we don't have to play by the old rules anymore.

"But what's the first thing I do when someone crosses me? What's my stupid alpha male reaction when some guy makes a move on my girlfriend? I kick the living crap out of him."

"Sounds kinda logical to me," Logan said bluntly, wiping his mouth with the back of a hand.

Scott's expression flickered with distaste again at Logan's choice of meal before returning to normal. "But what did it accomplish, Wolverine? Driving the world's most dangerous mutant up into the hills and isolating him from humanity again? This is the way you were before we met you. All that progress you made has been shot to hell just so I could look tough in front of my friends."

Logan's eyes narrowed, half wondering if someone had been messing with Scott's head. Had he forgotten Logan had tried to kill him? "What are you saying here, Cyclops?"

"I'm saying you should come back to the school and finish your rehabilitation."

For a moment Logan didn't react at all, he just stared blankly at Scott's face. "Are you nuts? Is this some kinda way of scoring with Charlie Xavier or something?"

Scott shrugged, "Okay, so a little pacifist thinking is going to pull up my average, but I genuinely believe that alienating you now just means trouble down the line, Wolverine. This is pre-emptive action we're talking about here. I don't want us to end up like Xavier and Magneto."

Logan tilted his head in thought. Keeping your friends close and your enemies closer, Cyclops? Well, at least Scott wasn't beating around the bush. Logan decided to test his resolve. "What about the others? Those guys would be sleeping with knives under their pillows if I moved back."

"Wolverine, we've been sleeping with knives under our pillows since you moved into the mansion. Besides, we all took a vote and the decision was unanimous."

As Scott spoke Logan had began walking past him, thinking to come back for the bear later, but now stopped again. Unanimous? He doubted that. Logan turned back to face Scott. "No, no. This is all wrong. I ain't like you guys. The folks at the Weapon X program wiped all that nice human stuff outta my brain when they whitewashed over my memories, bub. Now all I'm good for is killing things and hurting people. Believe me, you don't want me back at that school, Cyclops. I'm too screwed up to be in the X-Men."

"No. That's precisely why you should be there," Scott expression was intent and Logan frowned at him. "But, listen - the other thing I wanted to talk to you about was that promise the Professor made when he said he'd do his best to help you find out about your past. He's been talking to S.H.I.E.L.D. and they confirmed that Weapon X destroyed all their incriminating files, but it turns out they missed this little nugget-."

Scott walked forward, taking something from a front pocket in his jacket and reached out his closed fist to Logan. Warily Logan held his own hand out, palm up. Scott dropped a gold ring onto his hand and Logan brought it up to his face, sneering at it. What did he care about some ring? On closer inspection he saw it was inscribed with the words 'To James, with all my love." The name rang a bell but Logan couldn't pin it down just then. "A wedding ring?" Logan asked incredulously, looking up at Scott again.

"Your wedding ring, Wolverine. S.H.I.E.L.D. is already cross-referencing that name in there with World War II Intel they received from Captain America himself." Logan glanced at the ring again, remembering. Hadn't Captain America called him Jim? "I don't want to get your hopes up or anything, but this looks like our best chance yet of finding out who you were before those psychopaths got their hands on you."

"Married? This is nuts. I mean, who was I married to?" Logan clenched his fist closed around the ring and heard a beeping from where Scott was standing; he'd taken out a remote control. The wind around them gathered more force, throwing snow into the air, just before a stream of light flared up from the sky. Logan looked up at the Blackbird hovering above them.

"C'mon soldier. Only one way to find out."

Chapter 1

The flight back to Westchester didn't take long in the Blackbird. The two men were silent until they were somewhere near Winnipeg and halfway home. Scott was focused on flying the jet, even though he could have put it on automatic pilot. Logan stared out the window wondering what he was going to be greeted with at the school. He had half a mind that this was some sort of trap he was being led into. Maybe they wanted him to run a suicide mission. Clear up a problem for them and clear himself off while he was at it.

There was no way Logan could believe that there had been a unanimous decision to have him back. The only one Logan could half believe would agree was Colossus, and then only because the big stupid Russian had gotten it into his head that he was in love with him. No one fell in love with the Wolverine. Logan hoped Peter had realised that by now.

Logan contemplated the man sitting beside him, looking at him out of the corner of his eyes. Cyclops had said himself that one of his reasons for bringing him back was having Logan where he could see him, this 'pre-emptive' action. But there was more to it than that. Scott actually seemed to genuinely believe with a little rehabilitation the Wolverine could turn into the perfect model citizen. The guy was nuts, or lying. But Logan knew when someone was lying and he didn't get that vibe. Scott believed. He believed Logan wasn't just an animal. It was something, even if Scott was crazy.

"Scott?"

Logan saw the minuscule movement that told him Scott's entire body had just tensed up. He wondered if Scott was afraid of him before he realised he'd rarely, if ever, called Scott anything but Cyclops or nicknames before - and often insulting ones at that.

"Yeah?" Scott eventually replied, obviously trying to sound normal although his voice was strained.

Logan lips lifted up at the side in the barest imitation of a smile. "Thanks."

Scott turned his head to look at Logan for a moment. Then he nodded stiffly and turned back to face the front. As it turned out it was early morning when they got to the school; the sun barely making an appearance on the horizon. As far as Logan could tell, and he was glad to, everyone was still in their rooms if not asleep. He followed Scott through hallways that now felt alien to him. Sniffing, Logan picked up some familiar scents but a few unfamiliar as well.

"I think it best if you stay here for now," Scott said, breaking into Logan's thoughts. He looked up to see Scott had opened a door that led into one of the guest bedrooms. They were in the small and now empty - as Logan's senses told him - dorm that was used just for that purpose; housing guests that sometimes frequented the school. He guessed no one wanted to have him sleeping anywhere nearby. Logan walked through the doorway past Scott. The small space between them seemed to become charged as he did so. Logan ignored the sensation and noticed the large duffel bag on the bed with a small frown.

"Your things you left behind are in there," Scott replied to the unvoiced question, still standing ominously in the doorway. Logan turned around and faced him. He felt incredibly out of place after spending months living alone in a cave and Scott's presence, like this, felt even stranger. Maybe I'm still back in Canada and hallucinating all of this, Logan thought.

"I'll be around to find you again later to fill you in on what's been happening since you've been gone," Scott continued and reached in to grab the doorknob. "And don't worry about surprising anyone, they all know you're back." With that Scott pulled the door closed and Logan stayed where he was, listening to the sound of footsteps receding down the hallway. On some level Logan realised the Professor must have alerted everyone he was there, but exhaustion was setting into his body and it didn't seem important. Sleeping in a real bed would probably feel strange but welcome after sleeping on rock and twigs for so long. Kicking off his boots he stretched out on his back on the mattress. Before Logan completely let go of consciousness he took the ring out of his pocket and held it clenched in his hand against his chest.

Later that day, as promised, Scott showed up with a plate of food at Logan's door. He coolly told Logan to eat and stood at the doorway while he filled Logan in on all the latest happenings at the X-Mansion. Logan sat on his bed and ate the food with vigour; this being the first time in months he'd eaten anything but meat. His only visible reaction to any of the information was to raise an eyebrow when Scott told him Rogue had changed sides and joined the X-Men. Logan remembered Rogue from the Savage Land; a ruthless little thing. Not that Logan ever blamed her; she had only been trying to survive like everyone else under Magneto's control. The X-Men missions had all been routine and the only other bit of information Logan took much note of was that S.H.I.E.L.D., in all appearances, was in charge of everything the X-men did. Scott was noticeably pissed about this.

"What now?" Logan asked reluctantly, when he'd finished eating and Scott had finished talking.

"I want you to train alone, under my supervision, for a while. Every second day at five o'clock from tomorrow. No missions are planned as yet," Scott paused for a moment, looking at Logan. Logan felt he was being tested and said nothing. "I suggest you spend your time reacquainting yourself with the rest of the team." Scott walked in and held his hand out towards Logan. For a moment Logan didn't know what Scott wanted. Then he clued in and handed Scott the plate.

"That's it?"

Scott walked to the door, "Were you expecting a welcome home party?" Without a backwards glance Scott left. Logan sat for a while, going over everything Scott had told him. He was surprised the Professor hadn't come to see him. Then he supposed by what Scott had said the Professor was still too busy dealing with officials in the government. Eventually Logan warily made his way to the gym. He didn't run into anyone until he got there.

"Hello Logan," Peter said, lifting a set of weights in his normal human form as Logan walked into the room. The weights clanged as Peter put them down and stood up. "I'm glad you're here - I wanted to talk to you." Peter expression turned solemn, "To make it clear to you, we may have agreed to have you back, but that doesn't mean we're all happy about it. Many of us thought Scott was making the wrong decision, but he's still our leader and the Professor agreed with him." Peter walked closer and Logan eyed him in uncertainty. "I believed it when you told us you didn't leave Scott to die." There was a sadness of betrayal in Peter's eyes.

"I'm not sure I will ever able to trust you again but - I hope to." Peter slowly reached out and rested a hand on Logan's shoulder. "I'm not in mind of the others, Logan, but I thought you should know how they feel. I am glad you're back, I just hope things will be different this time around." Peter let his hand fall and walked around Logan towards the door. Logan stared at the place where Peter had been sitting. He'd been completely unprepared for the mixture of guilt and then relief that had coursed through him at Peter's words. When did what other people think about him start to mean so much? After a few minutes Logan moved to another set of weights in an effort to take his mind off that question.

The meetings with the rest of the team were varied but never strayed from a similar theme. It was a welcome back with an undercurrent of 'fuck up again and we're not giving you another chance'. And those were the nicer meetings. Some, noticeably Jean, avoided him altogether. That wasn't hard to do since Logan kept to himself anyway. The Professor finally talked to him and seemed a little reserved, or perhaps he was distracted - Logan wasn't sure. Xavier did however bring up the wedding ring and still seemed willing to do anything he could to help Logan find information about his past.

And with that came the most unexpected occurrence. At the end of one of Logan's sole training sessions Scott had offered to help him with going through the information that S.H.I.E.L.D. had sent them, regarding Logan's past. Before Logan had a chance to answer Scott had set up a time and place before dismissing him. Logan had walked off to the change rooms in bemusement. Just when he thought he understood Scott's motivations the man did something like this. It was evidence to Scott's character that he believed the Wolverine could be rehabilitated, but to actually help him? Even after everything Logan had done? It just didn't add up.

By the time Logan walked towards the room Scott had designated a few days later - one that led off from the War Room - Logan had begun wondering if Scott was leading him to this out of the way place for another more sinister reason. However, when he arrived at the doorway it was to see Scott already inside sitting at a table with papers scattered out in front of him. A pen was in his hand and he was writing notes on a pad of paper. Noticing Logan's entrance Scott stopped what he was doing and looked over. "You can start on that pile," he said, gesturing to a stack of papers on the table with his pen. "I'm highlighting anything that relates to any information we have on you so far."

Logan sat down across from Scott, pulling the stack of papers towards him. He glanced at them and then looked back at Scott, who had gone back to what he was doing. "Why are ya doing this?"

"Doing what?" Scott replied distractedly.

"Why are you helping me? I mean-hell, it's one thing to bring me back on the team but to actually defend me against the others - and I've heard you've been doin' that - and now here ya are helping me piece together my past."

Scott set his pen down, looking up at Logan. "What they did to you-Weapon X, it wasn't your fault, Wolverine. They wiped your memories and turned you into a weapon-an animal to do their bidding. But I think they underestimated you. I don't think you ever completely gave in to them. That's why I'm helping you. That's what my job is all about as the leader of the X-Men. I believe you can regain what they tried to take from you-and I think you are starting to as well."

"Starting to what?"

"Starting to believe that you're more than an animal-Logan," Scott said and paused a moment before continuing. "You're starting to regain what you've lost." Tapping his pen against the pad Scott glanced away before focusing back on Logan's face. "Now that the Professor is less busy I hope that you'll take him up on his offer to help as well."

"Talking ain't gonna help anythin'. I don't need a damn shrink."

"I don't think he was offering to be your shrink exactly. More of -soundboard of sorts. The Professor knows minds Logan, and he could help you try and sort yours out."

Logan stayed silent for a while. "I'll think about it." Scott nodded and went back to work. After a few minutes Logan started looking through the papers as well, though he couldn't manage to focus his entire attention on them.

"People like that don't change, Scott," Jean said coldly from where she lay in bed, as Scott walked back in from the bathroom. "You should never have brought him back."

"Who are we if we don't give out second chances?" Scott opened his wardrobe and held onto the towel wrapped around his waist while he looked for the track pants he wore to bed.

"You call this a second chance? He tried to kill you! You don't give killers second chances."

Scott glanced back at Jean, "Everyone keeps reminding me like I missed it. I was there, remember?" He turned back to his search, finally finding his pants and replacing the towel for them. "Logan has paid for what he did," Scott added in a quieter tone. He headed back to the bathroom to hang the towel up.

He and Jean hadn't moved in together but more often than not Jean stayed in his room, evidenced by an assortment of her belongings amongst his. That night Scott wished that she wasn't there. It had been a long day and the last thing he wanted to do was continue an argument with Jean that hadn't stopped since he'd brought Logan back.

"You'll regret this, Scott," Jean said in a voice that sent chills down Scott's spine in a deep, unsettling way as he came back out of the bathroom. He stared at Jean for a moment, halting just outside the bathroom's doorway. He could have sworn right then that there was a stranger lying in his bed.

"I don't know what's gotten into you Jean, but I don't want to talk about this any more." Scott walked across the room, slid into the bed and turned off his bedside lamp. Carefully he replaced his glasses with his sleeping goggles. After lying down he turned his back on Jean and closed his eyes. Jean remained silent and Scott wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

"Just because things are the calmest they've been in a long while doesn't mean I have to like the way things are Professor," Scott said, pacing the floor of Xavier's office. It was a week after Scott had started helping Logan with the information on his past. The arguments with Jean had increased and Scott was stressed and worn out. It didn't help that S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were riding his back for some problem or another, or alternatively shutting the X-Men out completely.

"And I don't expect you to Scott, but there's nothing we can do about it. S.H.I.E.L.D may now be in control of us but they are also protecting us."

"Protecting us from what?" Scott said, throwing up a hand. "Haven't you seen the news reports? We can walk down the street and be asked for our autograph these days instead of having things thrown at us. We're heroes after saving the world from Magneto again. Why do we have to be babysat by a dubiously organised government branch as if we can't be trusted to walk down the street on our own?"

"Unfortunately, many of those in power still don't trust us at all, and don't pretend you're unaware of that. At the moment we are in more favour than not for defeating Magneto, but who's to know what the future will bring? The more we are in favour with some, the more others hate us." Xavier folded his hands on his lap and leaned forward in his wheelchair. "Besides, control is such a loose term don't you think? Think about it Scott, don't we have even more resources at our disposal now to help our cause? Moira says her patients have never been happier in their new home. Some of them may even be able to join us here; something that was once only a very brittle hope."

Scott sighed and fell down in a chair across from Xavier. "I know Professor, I just hate asking them permission every time I want to scratch my ass."

"Understandable," Charles replied with a wan smile, "but if things continue this way I'm sure people will become a little less paranoid and a little more willing to trust us."

"I hope you're right," Scott said, looking uncharacteristically morose.

"Is this the only thing you wished to talk to me about?" Charles asked in concern.

Scott scrubbed a hand though his hair; an unconscious habit that Xavier knew to be a sign that something was very wrong with his protégé. "It's Jean, Professor. Ever since she contained that Nuclear Reactor meltdown she's been-different."

"Different?" Xavier asked nonchalantly, knowing not to try and push Scott.

"She hasn't been herself," Scott said with a small shrug. "I don't even recognise the Jean I knew-know sometimes. I mean, she still talks about this Phoenix Force thing sometimes and the others say they were actually afraid of her with that whole Hellfire Club disaster when she became convinced she was a God. How powerful is she really, Professor?"

Xavier tried not to let it show that Scott was voicing concerns that had been troubling him for some time now. "Quite possibly," he said carefully, "more powerful than us all. I still think the fall back onto this Phoenix Force persona is just Jean's way of handling having her powers opening up and strengthening to such an incredible degree. Don't worry Scott, I'm sure things will work themselves out." Before Scott could ask any other questions Charles did not yet want to be pressured into answering, he changed the topic. "Now, how are things going with Wolverine on your end?"

Scott looked slightly irritated at the abrupt change of subject but didn't try to rebuff the question. "We haven't found anything of much interest in those papers S.H.I.E.L.D. sent us, but in the place where it really counts, I think things are going fine. Of course, if you discount the way he's been sticking to me like glue since I started helping him. It's unnerving to say the least."

Xavier almost laughed but managed to hold himself in check. "Ah, but that's not surprising at all when it's with you he feels the safest." Charles didn't have to be able to see Scott's eyes to know Cyclops was staring at him in disbelief.

"You're joking right? Why would the Wolverine even need anyone to feel safe, let alone me?"

"People are afraid of more things than physical attack, Scott. You and he have made amends as much as you possibly can, while none of the others really know what to do with him yet. Kurt, Jean, Bobby-many seem to hold lingering doubts over Logan's trustworthiness, despite your leap of faith.

"And further, from Logan's point of view, you were the one he wronged the most and yet you are the one who brought him back. Who believes in him and gives him hope to believe in what he's only ever denied himself before. Hope can be a very powerful thing. Not to sound overly dramatic, but in a way you are his saviour, Scott."

There was silence for a few minutes and Xavier was content to let Scott digest that in his own time. "You do realise how ridiculous that sounds, right?" Scott burst out.

"Remember that just because I can't see into Logan's mind that I am unable to understand him. I never would have let him stay in the first place if I didn't understand some of his drives, and I think I understand even more now that he's agreed to these-talks with me. He's still paying, inwardly, for what he did to you Scott, but if you believe there is hope, then surely anyone can believe. Including Logan himself."

Scott just shook his head and levered himself out of the chair. "I have to go, I'll see you at dinner, Professor."

"Of course, and in the meantime try not to worry yourself to death over things, hmm?" Xavier got the door shutting as a reply though he didn't take it personally. He knew all too well that Scott never let go of something he didn't understand and was no doubt already mentally chewing things over.

Logan sat next to the Professor on a deck chair, staring gloomily up at the night sky and puffing on a cigar. They were out on the Professor's personal balcony, in a compromise of Logan's smoking. Xavier was now aware that Logan's ever-present cigars were in part a security blanket, and so relented to them as long as they were outside when Logan lit up. Thankfully it was a nice night, warm and with a pleasant breeze that blew gently over them every now and then.

"I don't get it Charlie, why do we have to have these chats to jog my memories? If Jean can get past my Weapon X defences surely you can get in somehow and unscramble my brain?"

"It's not just a case of being able to get in or not, Logan. I am almost positive now that Weapon X didn't erase all your memories, but rather blocked them. In which case if you were to remember everything chaotically you might very well go insane. The mind is a tricky place and a place to be treated with the utmost caution and respect. I know you are not a man known for your patience, but I'm afraid that is what is called for here. It will be a slow journey, but remember that each careful step forward is still a step forward."

"Can't ya at least get rid of one...block thing at a time?"

"Believe it or not, that is essentially what I am doing, but rather it is one part of a block at a time." Xavier didn't miss Logan's glare. "As I said, this is going to be a slow journey."

Logan turned back to the sky and chewed on his cigar. The Professor was right of course; he never did have much patience. Unfortunately it didn't look like he had much of a choice in this case. "All right Charlie, do your stuff."

Xavier smiled and relaxed more into his wheelchair. "Close your eyes and count back with me from ten to zero, as we go you will be going back in time and you will be feeling more and more relaxed. You will respond only to the sound of my voice. Ten, you are starting to feel relaxed..." Xavier continued on in the same manner until reaching zero. "...At zero you are feeling peaceful and safe. You are now far, far back to when you were only a young man. Are you there now-James?"

The cigar now hung dangling from Logan's fingers off the side of the chair. His eyes were closed and his breathing even. Although Logan wasn't aware of it, Xavier had been using his powers to get him into this mental place. No more than gentle nudging and coaxing however, which was as much as Xavier was willing to risk against Logan's Weapon X psi defences. "Yes," Logan's distant and odd sounding voice finally came. The voice was younger and the accent distinctly early, and polished, 1900's.

"Now, why don't you tell me more about these friends of yours, Rose and Dog, you mentioned before?"

Back in the room off from the War Room, Logan and Scott were once again going over the last of the papers from S.H.I.E.L.D. a few days later. Logan was moody because although the Professor said he was making good progress in their 'chats' Xavier refused to give Logan all the details. From when he was hypnotised Logan remembered nothing of what went on and it irritated him to no end when Xavier held things back 'for his own good'. So far he and Scott had found next to nothing. There was no mention of Logan's wife. Logan realised that though the gold wedding ring had become a valued possession of his, it was more that it was a link to his past than a link to a woman he didn't remember. He had no interest in finding her - if she was even still alive - to rekindle some lost romance. He just wanted to know who he had been and out of anyone, she would surely know.

"My God," Scott suddenly muttered.

Logan came back to the present with a jolt, "What?"

Scott didn't look up from the piece of paper he was looking at. "It mentions Weapon X here-that you were sent to Japan undercover to-assassinate someone. It doesn't say who." Logan got up and walked around to Scott's side. He leant over Scott's shoulder, reading the paper he was holding. He didn't notice how close he was to Scott until he felt the tension radiating off the other man.

"Sorry," Logan said gruffly, pulling back.

Scott glanced behind at him, his expression indescribable, "It's all right." He handed over the piece of paper and Logan took it, quickly skimming the words. It was only a vague reference but it definitely mentioned Weapon X.

"I don't remember anythin' about being in Japan," Logan said.

"You know-I didn't want to say anything before because I wasn't sure but," Scott swivelled around in the chair so he was facing Logan, "I've studied a lot of different martial arts and sometimes I've noticed you use Samurai techniques in fighting."

Logan frowned at him, "Samurai-that sounds familiar, but I can't-." Logan shook his head, looking at the paper again.

"It might mean you were taught how to fight like that over there, which would then indicate you were over there for a while. It's a lead anyway."

"Yeah," Logan handed the paper back. Scott seemed to meet his eyes for a moment, though Logan couldn't really tell since his eyes were hidden behind his ever-present ruby quartz glasses.

"I think that's enough for today," Scott said and began stacking the papers together. He put them in their folders and stood up ending up facing Logan, who hadn't moved. "What is it?" Scott asked, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

"I ain't gonna hurt ya again." Scott was silent and as usual, expressionless. Logan's eyes trailed down Scott's body to where his hand was gripping the folder, tight enough to whiten his knuckles. He looked back at Scott's face, which hadn't changed. "I'm-sorry," Logan forced out. More silence passed.

When it appeared Scott wasn't going to say anything Logan finally moved out of his way and headed towards the door. "Logan," Scott said, halting him just before he went out the door. Logan glanced back to see Scott looking at him. After a moment Scott nodded at him, an acknowledgement of his apology, and then turned around to lock up the folder in the cabinets across the room. That was enough for Logan and he left.

"They'll see the truth, you know."

Logan looked over his shoulder from where he was sitting on the old concrete fence not far from the school. Jean stood there, arms folded over her chest. "Yeah? And what truth's that Jeannie?"

Jean scowled, "Don't call me that." She strode forward and rested her hands down on the fence. "And you know the truth I'm talking about."

"I'm afraid not," Logan said curtly, looking away in front of him where Xavier's property stretched out.

"The truth about you, Wolverine," Jean said. "You and your fake, manipulative charm. They'll figure it out soon enough, that this is all just another ploy of yours. You don't do anything for anyone else, and you don't belong here."

Logan stood up, his anger barely restrained now and his dark eyes locked on Jean's. "You have a right to hate me for what I've done, but it ain't your call if I'm t' stay here or not. And I am not here to cause any more shit." Logan turned and walked off down the path as Jean stared coldly after him.

"We'll see about that, Logan," Jean said quietly to herself. Her green eyes flashed golden for a second and then returned to normal.

Chapter 2

Scott leant down over the pool table, carefully lining up a difficult shot. He grunted in annoyance as the six-ball - his intended target -just clipped the edge of the pocket and bounced away. Logan stood around the other side of the table chalking his cue stick. "Are ya really sure that's a great idea?" Logan asked, continuing their conversation.

"It's been more than enough time for the others to accustom to you being back on the team, Logan. If they can't trust you here, now, then they're going to have to learn to out there."

Logan snorted, appreciating the irony in Scott's words. By 'out there' Scott meant out on a mission, which they were discussing. Nothing major, of course, there still had been no major missions since Magneto. But then, 'major' was all relative. It just so happened that the X-Men considered some psychopath wanting to take over the world - and actually having the power to do so - to be major in their books. Although the other reason they didn't have any major missions was because Nick Fury and the other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents kept snowballing them. Logan leant down and took his shot, smiling in satisfaction as his intended target sank into a hole. "If you say so, Cyke."

"Why are you so worried Logan, I thought the others were coming back around to you anyway."

"Well sure, Storm told me if I ever hurt anyone on the team again she'd fry me alive and that seemed to content her for now. Beast gave me a lecture on morals and ethics and then invited me for a game of chess. Bobby and Kitty just asked why, when they gathered up enough courage, and I told 'em I was a bad man but you and the Professor are showing me the error of my ways."

Logan lined up his shot and glanced up at Scott with a wry quirk to his lips, which was returned. "Kurt preached to me something about Jesus that I didn't really catch." Logan took his shot and got another ball down. "Pete-well, I thought he was all right but he hasn't really said anythin' more to me since the first day I was back here. And Jean, well I think you've noticed what her view of me is."

Scott rubbed at the back of his neck and frowned; something Logan had noticed he did every time Jean was mentioned. "I'm surprised about Peter, I thought you two were good friends," Scott said, obviously not wanting to discuss Jean.

"Were bein' the operative word there, bub."

"Maybe he's just brooding over Storm," Scott said absently.

Logan had just been able to make another shot but now straightened up again and stared at Scott. "What?"

"I-uh, when Jean and I went to find him in Russia after he left she said he was in love with someone on the team. She didn't tell me who when I asked later but seeing as she said it to his face, I'm pretty sure she didn't mean herself. And well I figured-that left 'Ro."

"Ya know, for such a bright guy you sure can be dense sometimes, Cyke," Logan said with a laugh.

Scott glared at him, "Huh?"

"Let me break it to you gently. Ya actually ever see Pete look twice at a woman?"

"I don't usually make an effort to notice things like that," Scott replied, frowning and leaning forward on his cue.

Logan shook his head, "Peter's gay, Cyke. That clear enough for you?" Smirking at Scott's dumbfounded expression Logan made another shot and missed; he was enjoying this moment too much to concentrate any more. It probably wouldn't be so amusing if Peter was still in love with him, of course, but it seemed that was no longer the case.

"He told you?"

"Not in so many words, but it didn't take a genius."

"Very funny. Just because I don't go meddling in others affairs doesn't make me stupid, Logan." Scott took his shot and sunk a ball. This had to be their longest game of pool in history. If there was anything they were perfectly matched for, it was this game. With Logan's sheer years of practice and Scott's uncanny accuracy they usually cleaned the table in a couple of minutes. That was, of course, if they were actually trying. "So, if he's gay who is he-?"

"Old news, pretty sure he's over it."

Scott shrugged and leant down to take his shot. "Anyway, did it ever occur to you that if Peter isn't talking to you, you could try talking to him?"

"In case you hadn't noticed, talking ain't really my thing," Logan countered, watching Scott sink another ball. There were now three balls left; one to each of them and the eight-ball.

"You really call that an excuse? I've never known you to be a coward before Logan. Well, generally speaking," Scott couldn't help jibing, looking up at him. Logan was about to make a retort when he suddenly felt the hairs on his arms and the back of his neck standing on end.

"What the fu-?" Logan started just before the sounds of screaming assaulted his ears. First it was Scott who suddenly clutched at his head and crumpled over. Then he heard screams coming from all over the school. A loud buzzing started up in Logan's mind but other than that nothing else happened to him. Logan swore and rounded the table, crouching down and putting a hand on Scott's shoulder. "Cyke?"

"Jean!" Scott gasped out. "Logan-get me to Jean. The Danger...Room!" That was all Logan needed to hear. Hurling him up Logan grabbed Scott's arm and slid it around his own shoulders. He held it there with one hand and used the other to hold Scott up. With that Logan half supported, half dragged Scott along with him down the hallway towards the elevator.

After they'd gotten into the elevator, just as the doors opened again on the lower level, Scott started screaming again and fell to the floor. Despite Logan's efforts Scott wasn't moving anywhere on his own any time soon. Grunting with the effort Logan bent down and heaved Scott into his arms. With some difficulty - for a guy with the nickname 'Slim', Scott wasn't exactly feather light - Logan got them into the Danger Room.

Inside, near the middle of the room, Jean stood as still as a statue, her face tilted toward the ceiling. She was dressed in her X-Men uniform. Nearby Nightcrawler, also in his uniform, lay curled into a ball and was howling in pain. Up in the observation room Logan could also hear Beast making much the same noise. "What the hell are ya doing Jean?" Logan yelled, up righting Scott and supporting the other man against one side of his body. Abruptly the screaming and howling ceased to become whimpers and choked noises. Logan felt Scott take a little more of his own weight.

"Jean, please!" Scott coughed, one hand still pressed against his head as he hung from Logan's hold. A shudder seemed to go through Jean's body and the screaming started again, even louder then the last time. Scott fell like a dead weight from Logan's arm, clutching his head and making an almost inhuman sound. This time Logan felt a sharp piercing in his mind, but it wasn't bad enough to make him react like the others. He held his ground and Jean turned around, orange and golden flame appearing out of nowhere and surrounding her like an aura. Even her eyes glowed with the flame and Logan found he couldn't move, as if they were hypnotising him. A high-pitched noise just outside of his hearing range seemed to buzz through the air. Then the flame reached forward and engulfed Logan.

The next thing Logan knew was opening his eyes to find he was sitting in the sofa chair in his bedroom. For a moment he thought he'd just dreamt it all before he noticed Scott was lying seemingly unconscious on his bed and Jean was standing at the end. The flame was gone but there was something about the way Jean was holding herself that was decidedly un-Jean like. "For Christ-" Logan growled and tried to get up. At a look from Jean however he was pushed telekinetically back into his chair and found he couldn't move again.

At that moment Scott woke up and jerked into a sitting position, the action making him groan and clutch his head. He slowly took his hands away and raised his head to see Jean in front of him. "Jean?"

Jean smiled callously, "I thought we'd have ourselves a little meeting." With a flick of her wrist she gestured to Logan, who was still frozen in the armchair. "This is the perfect place for it, isn't it Logan?" Jean said, walking towards him. "In your room with Scott in your bed-where you've always wanted him, isn't that right?" Jean leant down towards Logan, eyes flickering with flame again.

"You crazy bitch," Logan snarled, finding he was able to move enough to speak.

"Admit it!" Jean screeched, reaching out and yanking Logan's hair back. "You didn't try to kill him to get me, you tried to kill him so you could stop wanting him."

"Jean, stop!" Scott tried to move towards her but Jean swivelled around and he found himself pressed back against the mattress. "This...isn't you," Scott ground out, struggling against her telekinetic hold.

"Isn't me? You never knew me, Scott. Even you underestimated me. Always thought you'd have me under your control, didn't you? Little, harmless Jean. You never really stopped being blind when the Professor gave you those glasses."

Jean whirled back on Logan, laughing. "And you. I know why you've trailed after me like a puppy in your misguided lust. You remember that red headed girl back in time who took care of you because you were too much of a coward do it yourself, don't you?" Jean spat out. "Oh yes, those little history lessons with you and the Professor have been very educational. How many would laugh to know the big, bad Wolverine once worked at a mine and cried himself to sleep at night?" Jean laughed again, her eyes wide and wild.

"Did he finally tell you who Dog was, Logan, or is he keeping the juiciest bits of information for himself? Did he tell you Dog was your half-brother? The same half-brother you decapitated a while back."

Logan's eyes widened in disbelief, "No...."

"Did he tell you, you murdered your pretty little Japanese wife?" Jean laughed again.

"Why are you doing this?" Scott cried out.

Jean turned to look at Scott, "We should all know the truth about ourselves, Scott, and those around us. I've found my truth, I finally know who I am." She sneered at them both. "I was just a plaything to you two, something to fight over when all along it's only ever been about both of you. Neither of you anticipated the toy might bite back though, did you?" Jean smirked, backing away from them both. "Well now I have a new game. This," she gestured the room, "Is just an illusion. At the moment I am physically heading towards the centre of New York. And New York will only be the first city I destroy.

"Have you figured it out yet, Scott?" Jean said, looking at him. "I am the Phoenix Force, I know it without a doubt now. I am a God, I am the Destroyer of Worlds!" The room flooded with golden flame that was at once both cold and hot.

Logan snapped his eyes open to see the Danger Room ceiling overhead. Something warm was pressed against his leg and Logan sat up to see it was Scott, lying on his back next to him. Logan's head thudded with pain that was only slowly abating. Kurt was still nearby, dead or unconscious Logan didn't know. Jean was nowhere to be seen. He shook Scott's shoulder, "Get up damn it!" Scott groaned and lifted a hand to his head as Logan got to his feet. He went over to Kurt and checked if the kid was breathing or not. He was but didn't respond to Logan's voice or touch.

"Logan? Oh man, that wasn't a dream was it?" Scott said, struggling to his feet and swaying a moment before steadying himself.

"Afraid not, bub. Looks like she's knocked the others out completely."

"We don't have time to wake them up, she could already be about to blow New York sky high!"

"Ya think she can do that?"

"You want to sit around and find out?"

"Jesus H. Christ, where the hell have you lot been? We've been calling you for twenty minutes!" S.H.I.E.L.D. Commander Dugan yelled as Logan and Scott got out of the Blackbird. The man was huge and intimidating with his scarred face - even more so when he was angry. Dugan was in charge of the 'mutant control' division of S.H.I.E.L.D. under Colonel Fury. Some other agents were following Dugan over towards them. Scott had spotted the armed forces congregation from the sky, as well as the cloud of smoke not too far in the distance. It looked as if Jean was having some 'fun' before the grand finale. Scott had no doubt if Jean could contain a Nuclear Meltdown she could blow up a city without much hassle. Nevertheless if the forces had already been fighting her Scott had decided to see what they knew so far and what they were doing.

"It's a long story and I'm afraid it's only the two of us. What's the story, Commander?" Cyclops asked, looking around at the crowds of SWAT teams, S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, police and their dozens of vehicles.

"The story is some crack pot mutant calling herself a God has already blown up entire blocks and is now heading this way," Newman said. "We've got more teams trying to herd her to us, but it doesn't look like they're having much luck. If you two are the only superheros we have as backup I don't like our chances stopping her here either. The only good news is that we've had time to at least get out a warning for people to get themselves to safety if they can."

Scott exchanged a look with Logan. "Then you don't know who she is?"

"No one's got a good look at her beside a golden flame in the sky," Newman answered, looking suspicious.

Scott ignored the look. "What's her location now?"

"North-West about ten miles."

"Understood." Scott nodded at Logan and they turned back to the Blackbird.

"Hey, I'm in charge here, where the hell do you think you're going?"

Scott paused on the ramp just before he closed it and looked back. "Off to stop a crack pot mutant, sir."

The teams trying to hold Jean off had situated themselves on top of the tallest buildings around the city, since Jean was in the air. There were also some military helicopters around, but so far it looked as if they were far too slow and vulnerable to get anywhere near her. Jean didn't seem concerned at all by the bullets directed at her, and so she shouldn't as they all bounced harmlessly off a telekinetic shield that surrounded her body. Cyclops had nevertheless decided to follow the others idea and so he had located a building in her path and landed the Blackbird precariously on the roof.

After a short and shaky organising of a plan Scott got out of the Blackbird, leaving Logan behind to man the Blackbird's weapons. Scott crouched behind the roof's metal railing and waited for Jean to come into sight. At least it appeared people had taken the advice and gotten under cover, as the streets were deserted. Scott didn't have to wait long as a few minutes later Jean appeared in the sky, going at a sedate pace as if she had all the time in the world, presenting a daunting figure wrapped in golden flame. "You can't do this Jean!" Scott yelled as she got closer.

For a moment it looked as if she was going to pass them by just as she had done with all the rest, but then she flew down lower and stopped. "Stupid man, there is no Jean anymore. I am the Phoenix Force." The voice reverberated around Scott, heavy with power.

"No Jean, you're just a mutant like us. The Phoenix Force is your power, not who you are. Come on, Jean, remember! You don't want to hurt anyone."

"Wrong, I am the Destroyer of Worlds. I will destroy this useless world little by little until nothing is left but rubble!" Jean's hand had raised and a blast of golden fire shot off straight for Scott. Fortunately he had anticipated it and dived out of the way. The blast blew large chunks of concrete off the building and they fell over the side to the ground, leaving craters in the road below.

"Hold your fire, Wolverine," Scott ordered into his wrist-com as he rolled to his feet. Some of the ricochet had hit him but he had no serious injuries. "Listen to me, Jean! Your mind is just playing tricks on you. I know you're still there. Remember those sick kids we found in Lanshire? Remember how you cried over them? You're not a God, Jean, and you're not a monster either!"

For a few moments Jean didn't move at all, staying where she was hovering in the air. Scott dared to hope he was getting through to her. But then she raised both hands, glowing with flame. "Fire!" Scott yelled into radio while ducking for cover. Just as Jean sent off the blasts Logan also fired a missile from the Blackbird. Jean got her shield up but the momentum of the blast knocked her higher into the air. Down below Scott hadn't been entirely successful in avoiding her blasts. One had grazed down the side of his body before blowing him across the roof when it hit. His body blazed with pain.

While he lay where he'd fallen with his ears ringing, Scott heard the Blackbird firing off more missiles and the return blasts from Jean. Scott wanted to tell Logan to stop, to let him try talking some more but he barely had the strength to breathe. The fight around him began to sound even more chaotic as rubble and concrete were blasted into the air, creating a cloud of concrete dust on the roof. Scott groaned and with all his mustered strength rolled over onto his knees. When he looked up he was greeted with the fearsome sight of Jean, nearly completely immersed in the flames, and flying right above him.

With a quick glance Scott saw that she had taken out the Blackbird's weapon systems. Logan was nowhere to be seen. Jean hovered above him, her glowing eyes reflecting nothing of the Jean Scott had once known. "Jean...please. Don't do this," he coughed out, wiping the blood away that dripped down from a cut lip.

Jean showed no emotion as she raised her hands again. Scott rolled to the side, narrowly missing a direct hit. The force with which the blast hit the roof however blew him into the sky. Scott yelled, thinking he was dead and yet reaching for something, anything to stop him from going over the edge. Just as he was about to be thrown into oblivion Scott's hand touched metal- the roof's railing guard, and he grabbed onto it for dear life. Vaguely he heard a voice yelling from somewhere on the roof but he couldn't discern anything from it as he slammed into the side of the building with a painful crunch. As Scott gripped to the railing his mind gripped just barely to consciousness. He knew if he let the darkness overtake him he really was done for.

There were more fighting sounds and someone screaming, so high pitched it deafened Scott and made his hold slip a little as he winced in pain. All he could concentrate on was not letting go. Time seemed to pass in slow motion. The next thing Scott was truly aware of was someone's hand wrapping around his wrist. Scott looked up at the blurred image of Logan's face. For a moment he flashed back to that day in the Savage Land. The moment when he knew Wolverine wasn't going to help him up. But then Scott saw Logan's other hand, reaching over to grab his torn uniform from the back. With one great heft Logan pulled them both back through the hole he'd cut in the railing onto the war zone that was the building's roof.

Scott coughed out the dust in his throat, trying to push himself up from where he'd fallen half on Logan and half on concrete. It was then he noticed Logan wasn't moving. Using strength he didn't think he had Scott pushed himself onto his knees and stared down at the wound that stretched over Logan's chest. It was a horrible mess of torn leather and burnt skin, but nothing that Scott hadn't already seen Logan heal from. Looking around Scott saw no sign of Jean anywhere, but somewhere nearby the sounds of a helicopter was coming closer.

Groaning Scott sat back and stretched out his legs, wincing as his torn uniform pulled at the burnt skin on his side. He pulled Logan around until his head lay on Scott's lap. Scott then placed an arm in an almost protective manner over Logan's torso just below his injury. Leaning back against the broken but still solid railing, he held on just barely to consciousness, fading in and out. Not too much later Scott saw a group of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents burst through the door to the roof and look around, guns held at the ready. The helicopter was hovering nearby, having alerted the others of Scott and Logan's position but unable to land because of the state of the roof. "About time," Scott muttered before finally passing out.

Scott woke up much later in the X-mansions medical ward, bandaged sporadically from head to toe. Scott had the foresight not to even try to move, though he felt no pain.

"Scott?"

"Professor?" Scott inched his head to the side to face where the voice came from. His vision was still blurred, though probably from the effects of pain drugs and not any injury. At least that's what Scott hoped it was. "Is everyone-?"

"Yes, everyone is fine. We all woke up with no more than a headache not long before the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents brought you and Logan here." Xavier moved his chair closer and reached out to grip Scott's hand. "I commend you for your actions, Scott. Though perhaps you could have at least tried to work with Dugan it was a brave thing to do, to go after her." The Professor's voice went strangely quiet with his last sentence.

"Logan?" Scott asked, his dry throat making him cough a few times.

"Is being strangely quiet about the whole affair since he recovered from his own injuries. All he will say is that he found a way to get through Jean's guard. He said that she...literally, went up in smoke and disappeared."

"Then she could still be alive?"

"Perhaps. There have been no reported sightings so far."

Scott turned his head so he was facing the ceiling again. "I lost her, Professor. I lost Jean."

"It's not your fault Scott. If anything it's mine, for insisting her changes were due entirely to her powers and not her mind. Even though I had my doubts...I suppose I just didn't want to believe."

Scott wanted to get angry at this admission, but he was too physically and soul-weary to bother. Instead he let himself fall back into the peacefulness that was a drug-induced sleep.

It was fortunate that Scott's injuries were not more serious. He had no broken bones or internal damage. The worst of his injuries was a deep gash in his leg and the burns on his side. Still Hank wouldn't let him leave the medical ward so Scott spent his time reading or talking to those who visited him. The distraction of visitor's was better than thinking about Jean or anything else. Even though everyone was also in a sombre mood at having one of their own suddenly turn into an enemy. For the time being they were all on downtime from missions, although classes were still running.

Scott saw no sign of Logan and his mind often went back to try and make sense of what Jean had said in her illusion. Obviously she had known something about Logan's talks with the Professor, but whether what she had said was entirely true or twisted by her obviously unhealthy mind Scott didn't know. He planned to find out, though, as soon as he got out of the medical ward.

Chapter 3

"Hey Pete," Logan said quietly, hovering in the doorway. The room was one of the few non-categorised rooms of the school that Peter had transformed into his art studio. Ever since they were put on downtime Peter had been doing nothing but painting. Logan supposed they all had their little escapisms. His had been to spend most of his time in the Danger Room after he'd healed.

"Logan," Peter said brusquely without turning away from his easel.

"Mind if I come in?"

Peter paused what he was doing, "What do you want?"

Logan took a few steps inside. He stood there for a moment, looking at Peter's back. "I came t'...apologise."

"For what?" Peter asked, still without emotion.

"For...fucking things up. For lying. Hell, for everything I guess," Logan said, shifting his weight uncomfortably.

Peter finally turned around, putting his palette down on the table beside him. "And why has it taken you so long to do this?"

"Come on, Pete. I didn't know what ya wanted from me. Since after the day I came back you've been giving me the cold shoulder."

There was a tense silence for a few more minutes. "You're right, I've made mistakes too," Peter said, his expression lightening a little.

"Then how about we let bygones be bygones eh?" Logan suggested, walking forward to Peter and holding his hand out. "Comrade?"

Peter smiled and took Logan's hand, giving it a firm but friendly squeeze. "Sounds like a good plan...friend."

"Okay," Hank said, finally relenting to Scott's argument to leave the medical ward with a suffering sigh. "But exert yourself in the slightest and you will be straight back down here."

"Hank, I'm not a child," Scott protested, already throwing the blankets back. "Uh, clothes?" He asked, looking down at his body and remembering he was dressed only in underwear.

"I had some brought down." Hank opened the small cupboard beside the bed, lifting out a pile of Scott's clothes. Placing them in Scott's hands Hank left him to dress and moved away to collect some bandages that Scott would need. When he turned back he saw Scott had managed to get tangled up in getting his t-shirt on over his injured arm.

Hank snorted lightly and walked over, taking Scott's arm and sliding the bandaged limb gently and neatly through the armhole. "Not a child indeed." Scott gave him a sheepish look. Hank blinked at him for a moment, marvelling at a rare moment that Scott actually acted his age. "I've made up a first aid kit of bandages and such for you, but if you have any trouble or if there are any signs of infection-."

"I know, Hank. I'll come see you."

"Right, good...I'll walk you up then. No more reason for me to hang around here without any patients," Hank said, walking back and picking up the first-aid kit.

Scott expression turned wry as he started towards the door, knowing that Hank was going to follow him more for fear of his falling flat on his face then any other reason. He didn't mind all that much. In fact by the time they made it to his room Scott went straight to his bed and sank gratefully onto it. Obviously he still had a way to go to build up his strength again.

Hank was eying him suspiciously as he followed Scott in and set the bag on the bedside table, but he said nothing of it. "I believe Ororo and Kurt have something special planned for dinner for you in a few hours, so I recommend using the time beforehand in resting."

Scott nodded, pressing a hand lightly to where a bruise over his ribs was aching. "Hank? Has Logan been behaving...normally since we got back?"

"Normally? Well, I suppose as much as Logan is ever normal," Hank answered, raising an eyebrow. "In fact I do believe he and Peter are back in good graces with each other."

"Ah...good," Scott said, wondering at the sudden bereft feeling he had. "Thanks Hank, I'll be fine."

Knowing a dismissal when he got one Hank nodded, although his expression was still a little puzzled. "See you at dinner then," he said, walking out and closing the door quietly behind him.

Scott shifted and sat back against the headboard with a sigh. Although he was making an effort in keeping up a stable appearance with everyone, inwardly he was anything but. Not only was the loss of Jean eating at him, but he also had the feeling Logan hadn't been entirely honest about what had happened on the roof after he'd gone over the edge. And that, as well as what had gone on between them and Jean before they'd woken up in the Danger Room, was what Scott was guessing had Logan avoiding him. Scott had hardly expected Logan to visit him in the medical ward but he still had the feeling Logan was purposefully keeping away. Now that he was out of the medical ward though he'd be able to corner Logan and get some answers, Scott told himself, letting his eyes slide shut. He drifted off into a restless doze.

Easing himself carefully into a chair at the dinner table, Scott tried to smile at those already there. He was well aware that a lot of them still didn't know how to act around him, seeing as it was his girlfriend who had gone criminally insane. Other than the Professor, Scott had been the closest to Jean. Scott noticed Logan sitting down the other end with Peter, deep in conversation with each other. Hank gave him a concerned look, but thankfully didn't comment on Scott's pale appearance. "We were just discussing who we feel is the most talented cook among us, Scott."

"In an entirely biased manner," the Professor added, glancing meaningfully at Hank. He then smiled at Scott, "It's good to see you back with us. Hank may be biased towards Ororo's cooking, but I believe she and Kurt have something quite appetising planned for us all."

"I'm looking forward to it," Scott said, trying to stop his eyes drifting towards Logan.

"Let's hope it arrives some time this year, I'm starved," Bobby said, from where he sat beside Kitty. Rogue was next to Kitty, sitting with her gloved hands clasped together.

"Such manners Iceboy," Ororo quipped, coming in from the kitchen and holding a casserole dish with heat mittens. Scott leant back in his chair, letting the conversation and noise wash over him as Kurt and Ororo covered the table in dishes. Hank took over putting food on Scott's plate before he could even attempt to do it himself. Scott didn't bother arguing about it. Besides with his injured arm it probably would take a lot longer and the smell of all the food was awakening a ravenous hunger in his stomach. For a while he even forgot about Logan. Even with the unspoken issues hovering somewhere above them all in the air, everyone seemed to be in the mind to ignore them at least for the night. Scott was shocked to find himself relaxing and laughing at one point.

Logan and Peter were the first ones to leave and Scott watched them head towards the door with a frown. He hadn't seen Logan look at him once during the whole dinner. And now Scott couldn't pin Logan down because he was with Peter. Scott inwardly shrugged it off and found himself agreeing to Hank and Bobby's urging that there was a sci-fi film he had to see on cable. Scott followed along with them and made a concentrated effort to forget about Logan again and enjoy the night as much as he could.

Everything felt so deceptively normal, Scott thought, as he sat on the couch watching the movie. Hank and Bobby's playful bickering, Ororo sitting curled up against Hank's side. He could almost imagine Jean was just away on some trip...almost. Scott looked at Hank and Ororo in envy. Jean was gone, and she'd probably been gone long before she'd actually been gone physically. He had to accept that and find some way to move on.

At the end of the movie the others asked him to stay for a game of cards but Scott declined, saying he was tired, which was the truth. Walking towards his bedroom Scott heard voices coming from the poolroom and halted a little away from the open doorway, recognising the voices as Logan and Peter.

Before he could hear anything that they were saying Scott walked briskly - as much as his injuries allowed him - past the door. He didn't want to think too hard about why it was making him angry that Logan was back to hanging around with Peter, let alone hear what they talked about. Scott told himself it was because Logan seemed to be using Peter to keep away from him, which made Scott all the more certain Logan was hiding something. After all even if he and Logan had been spending a lot of time together they could hardly be called friends, Scott thought. He again resolved to track Logan down another day and went back to his room at a slower pace.

A few days later Scott was back to overseeing some of the training sessions, even if he still wasn't up to going back to training himself. One of the sessions was with Logan, Ororo and Kurt. Just as Scott called an end to it from where he was in the observation room he asked Logan to stay behind. Scott was greeted with a stony look from Logan when he made it down to the Danger Room floor. "What, you thought you could avoid me forever?"

"What's this about, Cyke?" Logan scowled.

Scott walked across the floor to stand a few paces away from where Logan was, near the door. "I want answers, Logan. What happened on that roof? How did you defeat Jean?"

"I told-" Logan started but Scott's cut him off.

"No, Logan. You haven't explained anything. Not to me."

Logan didn't speak for a minute, his expression and stance betraying an inward wrestling of something. "All right," he finally said, relaxing a little. "After you went over the edge I got out of the 'Bird and called her. She came at me, pelting me with those...blasts. Most I could do was throw hunks of concrete at her and dodge.

"She was grabbing thoughts from my head..." Logan trailed off for a moment. "Tryin' to distract me I guess. So, I did the only thing I could think of - I made her read my mind. I threw all those memories of what those bastards did to me in Weapon X at he...everything I could remember." Logan paused again. "She screamed and then as I said...she disappeared."

"And that's it?" Scott asked, disbelievingly.

"Yeah, that's it."

"So why have you been avoiding me?" Scott took another step forward. "Were those things Jean said-"

Logan suddenly closed the distance between them and grabbed the front of Scott's shirt, pulling him close, "True? That what ya wanna know, Cyke? Ya wanna know if that shit your psycho girl spouted off is true?"

Scott seemed to barely react to Logan's sudden aggression but his entire body had tensed up like a spring, and his teeth were closed tight enough to outline the muscles in his jaw. "You're running from something, Logan."

"No," Logan said forcefully, his eyes narrowing. He let one hand go and used it to grip Scott's chin instead. Before Scott could fend off what he judged to be an attack Logan had leaned forward and pressed their lips together in a harsh, closed mouth kiss. A moment passed only before Logan pulled back and shoved Scott away from him, who stumbled a little before regaining his balance. "Ya got me all wrong." Logan turned and headed towards the door.

"Logan!" Scott shouted but Logan didn't turn back. Scott stared after him, pale with shock. A while later Bobby and Kitty walked in for their session to find Scott in the same place. Scott didn't seem to notice them.

"Uh, Earth to Cyke?" Bobby said after he and Kitty exchanged a glance.

Scott looked at them blankly, "Huh?"

Bobby tapped his wrist, "Time for our training session right? You were going to supervise us too."

"Ah, yeah...sure." Scott turned and headed for the elevator that went up to the observing room.

"That was weird," Kitty stated. Bobby didn't disagree with her, though he had wondered at Logan's stormy entrance to the change rooms not a minute ago. It appeared that something had happened between the two men. Bobby didn't think it was a leap to guess it was about Jean. Even gone Jean still seemed to have an influence on them. Bobby was pulled out of his thoughts when Scott started up the training simulation.

In the observation room it was all Scott could do to try and keep his attention on what was going on below him. His mind was still numb and he couldn't think about anything clearly. Scott tried to push all the confusion away for a later time when he could think coherently again. No matter how hard he tried though, Scott couldn't get the sense memory of Logan's lips on his own out of his head.

Professor Xavier sat calmly, though a small frown creased his brow, as he watched Scott pace back and forward in his office. A few minutes ago Scott had burst into his office, demanding information about Logan, which Xavier had refused. "You can't expect me to give you personal information without Logan's permission, Scott. Some of the things I know even he still doesn't, because I am trying to do things carefully. I hardly want him to have a break-down because I've rushed things."

"I have to know the truth, Professor!" Scott snapped, spinning around to face him. Then he closed his eyes, forcing down his anger. "Jean... she said some things before leading Logan and I out on that chase," Scott explained more calmly. "She said Logan had a half brother, Dog, and that Logan had killed him. She also said Logan's wife was Japanese and he killed her too."

"And what will knowing those things change for you Scott? I have the feeling that is not what you really want to know."

Scott stared at Xavier for a long moment. "Why did he try to kill me?"

"Because he is a very damaged human being, Scott. Before becoming one of us he didn't let himself become any more than the animal he was trained to be. Once he started letting himself feel however, the confusion of those emotions drove him to an imbalanced state. By getting rid of you, Logan subconsciously felt he'd be getting rid of that confusion."

"Confusion about what?"

"I think you already know the answer to that."

"How long have you known?" Scott asked edgily.

"Not very long. And I assure you if I thought he was going to try it again he wouldn't be here. I think whatever punishment Logan put himself through out in Canada, made him - ironically I suppose - more human."

"None of it makes sense. Why did he chase after Jean then?"

"He was projecting his feelings onto her. In part because she reminded him subconsciously of someone in his past, but also because she was close to you." Scott went over and sat on the armrest of the sofa chair in front of the empty fireplace, his expression drawn. "I think at some point, Jean realised this and it may have added to the pressure that caused her...mental break."

"She said it was always about the two of us, not her."

"And was it?"

Scott glared at him, "I loved her."

"I never doubted that Scott, but you and Logan have always had an...explosive relationship since he came here."

"Meaning what?"

"Nothing, except you've always reacted very strongly to each other."

Scott stared back into the empty fireplace for a while. "If you won't tell me, you should tell Logan if Jean was being truthful about the other things she said."

"You're probably right. I'll tell him anything he wants to know."

Scott glanced at Charles before standing up and walking to the door. He paused there for a moment, "Professor? It wasn't your fault either." Scott looked back at Xavier. "About Jean, it wasn't your fault," he said, before turning and leaving. A knot in Charles' chest loosened slowly with the echo of Scott's words. Xavier wheeled over to the window, looking out at the sky as he let built up tears finally fall from his eyes.

Logan sat on the floor of his bedroom, his eyes staring vacantly at the wall in front of him. He'd been trying the meditation technique the Professor had taught him to calm himself down when he felt the 'animal within', so to speak, rear it's ugly head. He couldn't concentrate however, not with the amount of thoughts running chaotically through his mind, so he'd given up. Logan could still hardly get his head around the fact he'd actually kissed Scott Summers not a few hours ago. He certainly hadn't planned on it. But then Scott had pushed at him, wanting answers.

Until then Logan had been shoving anything to do with what had happened with Jean into the very back of his head. In some part of his mind though, Logan had known the answers were all there, but he had refused to bring them out into the open. Unlike what Jean had seemed to think, Logan thought it best if you didn't always know the truth about yourself. Sometimes the truth only forced you onto a dead end road.

Suddenly the hair rose on the back of Logan's neck and he jumped to his feet, instinctively landing in a fighting stance. His senses were screaming at him that someone was in the room, but he couldn't see anything. Or smell anything, for that matter, Logan realised as he sniffed the air. He scanned the room and saw no signs of anything out of the ordinary. A disturbing thought entered his mind.

"Jean?" He called, feeling both foolish and wary at the same time. No answer came and slowly the feeling of the foreign presence faded. Logan's heart rate went back to normal and he relaxed his stance. Another urge took over - the need to get away. Yanking on his boots and grabbing a few things Logan left the room and stalked down the hallway. At another door he stopped and rapped on it.

It opened after a moment. "Logan?" Peter raised an eyebrow.

"I have to get outta here. Wanna come for a drink?"

After Peter frowned at him a moment before he nodded. "Sure, give me a second." Logan nodded back and waited while Peter collected his things. They walked towards the garage in silence though Peter gave Logan a speculating look every now and then, which Logan ignored. In the garage Logan stopped and looked around at the collection of vehicles.

"Let's take the truck," Logan said finally and headed in that direction, climbing in to the drivers seat. Peter shrugged and followed him, sliding in on the other side. Five minutes later they had left the mansion and were headed towards the city.

"Is something wrong?" Peter asked, knowing full well there was. He'd never seen Logan look so haunted before.

"Yeah," Logan muttered, not taking his eyes off the road. Reaching into his shirt pocket he took out a cigar and lit it with one hand.

"You going to tell me about it?"

"Nah," Logan glanced at Peter with a quick, ironic grin. "Not yet." Peter nodded, accepting that for now, and turned his view out the window, watching the world go by. He smiled to himself when Logan wound down the window on his side to let the smoke out. Logan knew that Peter, like most people, hated the smell of his cigars.

Some time later they had hidden themselves in a booth in some dingy bar. Peter marvelled at Logan's ability to find the worst establishments in all of New York every single time they went out. It was if he had some special homing ability for them. Peter sipped at his beer while watching Logan guzzling down his. He scanned the room instinctively even though he'd seen Logan do the same thing when they arrived. There were only a few other customers, being that it was still fairly early. It was sure to crowd up later though when the working day ended. Peter refocused his attention back on Logan, who was now onto his third beer from the jug he'd bought.

A few more minutes passed before Logan finally acknowledged Peter's presence again. He leaned an elbow on the table, his expression ambiguous. "How'd ya know you liked guys, Pete?"

Peter started in surprise, leaning back and glancing around the room. "How did you-?"

"Know? Come on Petey, half of the others know, why'd you think I wouldn't?" Logan sat back.

"Uh," Peter said, swallowing, "I guess I thought you wouldn't notice something like that."

Logan's lips quirked, "I notice plenty o' things. Are ya gonna answer my question?"

"How did I know?" Peter raised his eyebrows. "I just...knew. Girls never did anything for me and well, when my first crush was on a guy I figured it out."

Logan nodded, looking away. "So, ya never met a girl who-"

"No, Logan," Peter said, cutting him off impatiently. "I'm gay, not bi. Why do you want to know all this?"

Logan grimaced and downed a few more mouthfuls of beer. He then looked away around the bar, his face showing an intensity that made Peter sit a little more alert. When Logan spoke his voice was low and strained. "I kissed Cyke."

Peter stared at Logan, "You what?"

Turning back Logan gave him a look. "Keep it down," he growled, "and you heard me."

"You kissed Scott," Peter repeated in a more controlled tone of voice. "The guy you hate."

"Never said I hated him," Logan said into his glass.

"Logan, you left him to-."

"I know! I know what I did and I'll be paying for it the rest o' my life, believe me."

"So, why did you kiss him?"

Logan grimaced again and filled up his glass with the last of the beer from the jug. "I don't know why the hell I did it. Back with Jean...she said some shit. Said I only tried t' kill him because I...wanted him."

Peter sipped at his own beer before rubbing the back of his neck, glancing around to make sure their conversation wasn't being overheard. Luckily the only other patrons were sitting at the bar, a few feet away from them. "What did Scott do? When you kissed him?"

"Nothing," Logan said, rubbing at his jaw. "Jesus, for all I know Jean did somethin' t' my brain that's got me like this."

"I doubt that. Why would she? She obviously would hate the idea that you...wanted Scott." Peter sat in thought for a few minutes, before leaning forward and capturing Logan's attention from where ever his mind had wandered. Peter couldn't deny he still had some lingering feelings for Logan and being confronted with this had that old unrequited pain clawing its way back, but he pushed it to the back of his mind. Right now, his friend needed help.

"Logan, why not just face the truth? Have you ever felt attracted to Scott, before...everything that happened with Jean?"

Logan didn't reply for a while before his eyes flickered up to Peter's face and away again. "Maybe. I mean I..noticed him...his body. I don't know. I've never been attracted to a guy before."

"That you remember," Peter said slowly. "How many years of your life do you remember clearly? Five? Ten?"

"That ain't long enough? It's only ever been women."

Peter shrugged, "When are things in our world ever really black and white? Maybe you're bi and...maybe it's just Scott. Labels don't mean anything really; it's the feelings that matter." The words stung Peter a little but he forced them out regardless.

Logan rubbed at his head, frowning deeply at the table. "What the hell am I gonna do? Cyke will blast a hole through me next time he lays eyes on me." Logan snorted at the unintended double entendre.

"I don't think so, but maybe you should keep away from him for a while," Peter said. "I'm sure it was a shock to him and with what has happened with Jean...."

"Yeah," Logan grunted. "I've got great timing, huh?"

Peter smiled a little, "You always did."

Chapter 4

"Charlie," Logan greeted, leaning against the doorframe of Xavier's office.

The Professor looked up from where he was going over a pile of documents. "You're late."

"Yeah, well," Logan said, walking inside. "Guess I'm not so enthusiastic with knowing things about my past any more. Seems like everything I learn is somethin' bad."

Charles looked at Logan, considering for a moment. "Shall we go outside?" Logan answered by walking out onto the balcony. Charles followed him out. It was the afternoon and an overcast one at that, though not too cold to be outside. Logan had dumped himself into a deck chair. He took out a cigar but didn't light it. "I find it hard to believe you ever really thought otherwise Logan."

"Oh I dunno. It could've been way back when I was...."

"Happy?" Charles continued for him. "I think...your father made you happy. Before he died."

"Ya mean the guy I thought was my father," Logan said, staring at the cigar between his fingers. "Jean said I had a half brother - think it made me remember some things. The guy I thought was my father was killed by my real father, right?"

Charles nodded slowly, "Yes, you're right. The man known as Mr. Logan, the caretaker of your home, he was your real father."

"He was a...cruel man. And I turned out just like him. Suiting that I have his name."

"No, you're not just like him. Those who tortured you made you to be like him. But you're stronger than that...James."

Logan's expression was protesting and he stood up to lean against the balcony railing. "I'm Logan now, I'll always be Logan."

"And what's in a name?"

Logan looked at Xavier. "Was Sabretooth my brother? Was he Dog?"

"I'm sorry Logan, but yes...I believe he was."

"My wife?"

The Professor took a breath, hoping he wasn't making a mistake. "Her name was Mariko. You met her in Japan while on a mission."

"Did I kill her too?"

Xavier didn't answer for a while. "You killed her in mercy, to prevent her from being tortured and eventually killed at the hands of others. You were in a difficult situation."

Logan chuckled without humour, "I kill everyone."

"But you haven't the soul of a killer, Logan. You don't enjoy it, even when it's someone like Sabretooth who has tortured you and countless others for decades. You may have felt satisfaction, but you didn't enjoy it."

Logan turned his back on Xavier, resting against his folded arms on the concrete railing. "Man and animals, they're not so different when it comes down to it."

"Perhaps, but unlike a wild animal you know what remorse feels like."

"Ya really think that changes anythin'?"

"It changes everything if you listen to what your heart is telling you." Xavier clasped his hands together and looked up at the sky.

"And what do you think my heart is tellin' me, Charlie?" Logan asked with an edge of irony, turning his head around to look at the Professor.

Xavier met Logan's gaze, "That, I couldn't tell you. No one can."

Days went by and then a week. Logan found it surprisingly easy to stay out of Scott's sight. They were put on a new round of assignments and as usual he, Peter and Bobby were paired together, which he was more than glad with. It continually impressed Logan how much Bobby had matured after his time away from the X-Men. He was more a man now then a boy and it was showing. Bobby was more creative in his power and more confident in applying it where it was needed. Of course he still had that teenagers attitude. Scott was paired with Ororo. Then there was Hank, Kurt and Rogue in another team. It was strange that they filled in the places where Jean had been so smoothly.

Their assignment was straight forward; find and save a mutant on the streets without aid of their powers - except in absolute emergency - or Cerebro. Logan wondered if this was just the Professor's bid for more recruitment, but when asked Xavier assured Logan that ultimately it was the mutant's choice to join up with the X-Men or not. If they chose not to then the X-Men had to find another way to get them off the streets - a markedly more challenging prospect. Besides, Xavier had added, if he had wanted more members of the team he could have just sent them specifically for the purpose.

Either way, Logan was up to it more than any other assignment before. Not because of the competition but the chance to get away from Scott. The only times they had been in the same room since the kiss Scott had only looked at Logan blankly, giving Logan a cold feeling in his gut. Sometimes he really hated not being able to read Scott's eyes. At least Scott hadn't challenged him on what had happened or instigated a fight...so far.

Logan, Peter and Bobby were off to New Orleans, a city now known for its numbers living on the street. The increase had happened not long ago when a new governor was elected who was extremely lax in caring for the city's underprivileged. The other teams were staying in New York.

"It's sure weird travelling this way after having the Blackbird handy. I sure hope the Professor gets it repaired soon," Bobby said as they strode up to the customs area of the JFK airport. "You sure that gizmo's going to work?" He asked Logan, referring to the small device that the Professor had somehow gotten a hold of that interfered with metal detectors. Usually Logan had his own techniques for getting by them even with his metal skeleton, but he supposed that if the thing worked it'd make things easier. They were fortunate so far for not being recognised, thanks to some subtle disguising, and they really didn't need the attention.

"If it doesn't, we'll know soon enough," Logan said as the three of them put their bags onto the conveyer belt that took them through the luggage scanners. Peter walked through the detectors first with no problem. Logan wearily went through next. No warnings were set off. He winked at Bobby as he came through after them. The security guards glanced at them a little curiously but said nothing. They collected their bags and headed towards the ramp that led to their plane.

"It's such a cop out with the others staying here," Bobby complained when they got to their seats onboard the plane. "You'd think they'd be a bit more imaginative."

"The more points for us then at the end of this," Peter said as he sat down after they'd all put their bags in the overhead compartments. Bobby had squirmed himself into the window seat and Peter sat in the middle. Logan sat on the aisle seat, glancing around the plane as the other passengers got themselves organised.

"That is if we do 'save' someone," Bobby said, his eyes looking out the window at the tarmac below.

"It's about time we beat the other's at their high and mighty acts," Peter said, trying to get his large frame comfortable in the seat.

"It's strange, not having Jean around," Bobby said quietly. Peter looked at him and squeezed Bobby's shoulder, not having to reply in words. "And Cyke has been weird."

Peter shared a glance with Logan. "How so?"

"You know, like he's not all there," Bobby said, turning to them and tapping his temple. "Half the time it's like he doesn't even know when you're standing right in front of him."

"Just because Jean's powers warped her mind, doesn't mean he's not grieving for the Jean she was before that," Peter said after a moment. "I don't think anyone is grieving the loss of the Phoenix Force." He glanced at Logan who was frowning straight ahead.

Later that night the three of them had booked themselves into a small hotel before taking to the streets. They'd already researched the main areas where prostitutes, drug dealers and the homeless hung out. Seeing as it was a Friday night the streets were buzzing with activity and with the area they were in the activity tended to be the illegal kind. A few prostitutes, both female and male, came up to them and offered their services. Logan deterred them with a few words or a look. None of them were mutants so far as they could tell. Logan had assured them before he could usually smell a mutant out.

"This whole place is disgraceful," Peter said as they witnessed the sad sight of a man picking up a male prostitute who was no more then fourteen years old. They were even younger than that in some cases.

"That could have been me a few years ago," Bobby said quietly as the car screeched off into the night. Logan said nothing but his dark look was enough to know what was going through his head.

"I haven't seen anyone who looks like a mutant, have you Logan?" Peter asked as they continued walking.

Logan shook his head, rubbing at the skin between his knuckles. "I've only seen a lotta people not worth the air they're breathing." A guy on the corner up ahead slipped a young woman with dark rings around her eyes and sores on her face a packet of cocaine after she paid him.

"I feel sick," Bobby stated. "How can anyone live like this?"

"When they have to, Bobby," Peter said. "When they have to."

They passed an alley and something caught Logan's eyes in the darkness. He back-stepped to the front of the entrance, peering down into the gloom. Again, there was more movement and then a cry of pain. Logan was moving before he even thought about it, forgetting even to alert the others. As he got closer he could see what was happening; two men were kicking someone who lay on the ground, trying to shield themselves with their arms.

Logan flew into both of the attackers with a savage growl just as they turned at the sound of his footsteps. With a crash they all hit the ground but Logan was the first to get back on his feet. Instead of popping his claws like he would ordinarily do Logan kicked one of the guys who was struggling to get up in the stomach. The man went flying into the wall and landed limply on the ground. The other guy saw what had happened and ran for it.

Peter and Bobby arrived after having noticed Logan's disappearance and then the sounds of fighting. They watched the man running off. Logan turned to the person the attackers had been kicking. The man, boy really, they realised, sat hunched in on himself against the wall in the shadows. "I got no money," he coughed weakly when he realised there were looking at him. Blood dripped from a cut lip down the boy's chin.

Logan just stared at him for a moment. "We're not after your money kid." Bobby went over and crouched down beside the boy as Peter went to inspect the unconscious thug.

"Hey, what's your name? I'm Bobby," Bobby said, managing to sound casual.

"Tony," the boy answered, wiping at his lip and looking at Bobby suspiciously.

"We're here to help, Tony. Those guys aren't going to hurt you again."

Tony glanced impassively at his unconscious attacker. "So what? If it's not them it's someone else." Tony clutched at the wall behind him, struggling to get to his feet. He cried out again and pressed a hand to his side as he collapsed back against the wall.

"This kid might not be a mutant, but we can't just leave him like this," Bobby hissed quietly at Logan.

After a moment Logan nodded and turned towards Peter. "I'll make sure this...thing gets to the authorities," Peter said, reading Logan's intentions, "If you two want to take care of Tony."

"All right, good idea. Kid, ya gonna let us help you?" Logan asked Tony.

Tony eyed them, still holding his side. "Who are you people?"

"Don't worry, we're not going to take you off to our cult or anything," Bobby said with a half grin.

Tony sagged further against the wall and dropped his head, "Whatever."

Bobby shrugged at Logan and moved so he could support Tony's weight. Logan led the way out of the alleyway, leaving Peter to take care of the thug. They got a taxi to a hospital and if Tony noticed where they were going beforehand he didn't seem to care. Either that or he didn't have the energy to put up a fight. It took some time but eventually they got a doctor to check Tony out and patch him up. Fortunately there were only some nasty bruises and scrapes.

"You have a home Tony? Family?" Bobby asked while a nurse bandaged his ribs and Logan reluctantly answered the doctor's questions.

Tony laughed roughly and then started coughing, which forced the nurse to stop what she was doing. She gave Bobby a look. "Yeah man, I live in a mansion and my family are French royalty. What the hell did you think I was doing in the New Orleans red light district?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just wondering why no one is taking care of you. How old are you?"

Tony just shook his head as the nurse finished up and moved away. "I'm fifteen and no one's taking care of me 'cause their idea of taking care of me is treating me worse then a rabid dog."

"If you let us help you we might be able to find a place for you to live, away from here."

"Why? What's in it for you?"

"We're not going to help you for anything in return. Just call us your friendly neighbourhood do-gooders."

"You're crazy, man," Tony said.

"You'd be amazed at how often I get that," Bobby replied.

"So now that we've saved three human street kids don't you guys think we should be trying to find a mutant? We're nearly up to the deadline," Bobby said as once again he, Logan and Peter walked through the streets of New Orleans.

"Haven't we been doing that all this time?" Peter asked, adjusting his jacket tighter around his body. Logan was walking behind them.

"Well...yeah, not very successfully though. Maybe we need a different tactic."

"What do you suggest Bobby? We are now trying in the daytime-"

Before Bobby could reply they noticed a commotion up ahead. "Thief! You cheated me, you bastard mutie!"

Peter and Bobby looked at each other before running into the forming crowd. "Hey, hey now, Remy ain' a cheat. Don' wan' t' be a sore loser now in fron' of all dese fine ladies, eh?"

"Give me back my money, or I'll get it back myself freak!"

Bobby and Peter finally got through the crowds and saw a tall man with alien red eyes holding his hands up in a placating gesture to another man, who was red faced in anger. The scene was apparently amusing the people surrounding them. "You don' wan' do dat now, Remy give y' money back." The man, Remy, reached into his jacket but instead of producing money he held out a playing card between two fingertips. As the crowd watched the card suddenly glowed red and the man flicked it into the air as all eyes followed it. Suddenly it exploded over their heads with a flash of what looked like pink electricity and in the next moment the man had grabbed his black case and run for it.

"Hey, stop him!" The man who'd wanted his money back yelled and tried to get through the crowds. The crowds however didn't part for him. Bobby and Peter were having the same trouble. By the time they got through themselves the man had disappeared...and so had Logan.

"Great, we finally find a mutant and he does a runner," Bobby said, looking around. "Where did Logan go?" Behind them the crowds dispersed and the angry man got even angrier when he saw his target had disappeared. Eventually he walked off after swearing at everyone around him. Peter and Bobby continued down the street when Bobby saw something out of the corner of his eye that made him look down an alleyway. Logan was there, holding Remy by his collar. They were arguing, and Remy had one of his glowing cards out again.

"Logan, no! He can blow those things up!" Bobby yelled, already running down the alleyway. After seeing what was happening Peter ran after him.

Logan just raised an eyebrow as the two of them arrived, "I noticed the little trick," he said and turned back to Remy. "And as I was saying, we just want to talk kid. There ain't any need to blow us up."

Remy was still holding the glowing card, looking at them all with a perplexed expression. "Y' let me go an' I t'ink about it, d'accord?" Logan shrugged and let go, taking a step back. Abruptly the card's glow receded, becoming an ordinary card again. It disappeared in another flash. "Jus' in time," Remy said with a grin. "Can' always take de ene'gy back." Remy dusted his trench coat off with more than a little touch of theatrics and looked down the alley, on the lookout for his pursuer. "Now, jus' who in de hell are y' lot? Not anodder group out t' save m' soul?"

"My name is Peter, this is Bobby and Logan. We are mutants, like you."

"Mutants eh? You don' look it much."

"Don't have to look like it, to be it," Bobby said, holding his hand up and creating a ball of ice in his hand.

Remy only looked faintly surprised. "So what y' wan' den? I got places t' be."

"What, more card tricks to pull? Not much of a life is it?" Logan said.

"Remy doin' jus' fine."

Peter wondered at the third person reference. "We were all in your place once, before we were offered a chance at a different life...a chance to make a difference. Maybe you've seen us on TV? I'm also known as Colossus."

Remy's scowl faded and he squinted, first at Peter and then at Bobby and Logan. "Uh! I see, and you de Iceman," Remy said, pointing at Bobby. "And you mus' be de legendary Wolverine," he continued, pointing at Logan. Remy laughed, "I know y', bunch of do-gooders. Never too sure what side y' fightin' for, eh? I don' wan' nothin' from y' lot and y' can' tell y' Professeur I don' 'preciate the hasslin'." Remy made to run off but Logan grabbed him again.

"Wait, you've talked to the Professor?"

"Oui, he di'n't tell y'? Jus' run off at his bidding like lil' puppies eh?"

Logan growled but Peter cut in before he could say anything, "When was this?"

"While back. 'Course Remy di'n't know it was him at de time, but later I see him on TV and figured it out." Remy yanked himself out of Logan's grip.

"We didn't come here to find you," Bobby said quickly, "We came to help any mutant in need."

"Remy ain' no mutant in need, y' go help some'un who needs it."

"Won't you even consider it?" Bobby shouted, getting irritated. "Do you want to live the rest of your life on the street? You don't have to join our team but you could come and get an education. You could make more of yourself than this," he said, gesturing to their surroundings. Bobby wasn't sure if it was his drive to beat the others at their assignments or if he truly wanted to help Remy that was making him desperate. Whatever it was that caused it, it seemed to give Remy pause.

"Y' got books?" Remy asked. Weariness flickered over his face, though it was quickly hidden again.

"Yeah, we've got plenty of books..." Bobby said slowly in confusion.

"In dat case, let's go."

Only Logan didn't look surprised at this sudden turn of events, but then that was probably because Logan never looked surprised. "You're going to come with us?" Bobby asked.

"You know, dey don' let freaks with demon's eyes and no fixed 'dress get a lib'ry card," Remy said, as if that answered everything.

Chapter 5

"Ah, Scott, you're finally back," the Professor greeted, as they converged from different sides down the hallway. Xavier kept his expression neutral, but from Scott's earlier recount on his team's assignment and his now worn out appearance the Professor was worried. It was unlike Scott not to get full marks out in the field, let alone fail completely.

Scott stopped in front of Xavier, his expression blank. "The other teams are back?"

"Yes, Logan, Peter and Bobby got back a few hours ago. And they've brought a young man back with them from the streets of New Orleans. A man who has already shown himself to be quite a powerful mutant. Ororo and I imparted an offer for him to join us a while ago, but it seems the others have had better luck this time around."

"He's joining the team?" It weighed on Scott that the failure of his team's assignment was entirely due to his own mistakes. And now to have the fact that Logan's team had succeeded was rubbing salt into a wound.

"Remy has an...unfavourable impression of the X-Men as yet. Maybe you can persuade him to think otherwise."

"You mean persuade him to join the team?" Scott asked, continuing his walk down the hallway and not bothering to disguise his foul mood. Xavier turned his chair around and followed him.

Xavier gave Scott a dry glance, "That choice, of course, is up to him. I merely believe that if he is to stay with us permanently it might be an idea for him to understand what the X-Men are about."

"Yes, Professor," Scott said, with a touch of sarcasm. He fixed his eyes on the walls. Scott wondered if he was getting annoyed over this more because it felt like a replacement for Jean than anything else. One out, one in, is that what it's like Professor? Scott thought bitterly.

"It is most certainly not," Xavier said, picking up on the thought and turning his chair into Scott's path so he was forced to stop. Scott was too surprised at the anger in Charles' voice to get angry himself at the violation of his thoughts. "You are not the only one grieving for Jean, Scott. And she will never be replaced. I beat myself up every minute of every day for failing her." Visibly calming himself Charles took a few breaths.

"Nevertheless life goes on and we still have a job to do. Just because things are relatively calm at the moment does not mean we should pack it all in. There are still many people out there in need and many more who are still filled with hate and fear for what they don't understand. We have a job to help and educate and I have not forgotten that."

Scott dropped his eyes wearily to the Professor's chest, not even game enough right then to meet Xavier's piercing eyes. "I'm sorry, Professor.... I'm just-."

"Tired," Xavier cut in, in a gentler tone of voice. "And you're hurting and...confused, I know Scott," the Professor said, looking up at him levelly. "Go and get some sleep. It is good to have you back."

Scott nodded stiffly, meeting the Professor's eyes again. "I'll see into talking to...Remy, tomorrow," Scott said, trying to sound stronger then he felt. "Goodnight Professor." Scott walked down the hallway, heading towards his bedroom.

"Come in," Scott called out in a distracted tone as a knock came at the door. He was in the Danger Room's observation room, busy going over Hank's new training simulations he'd asked the other man to do. When he didn't hear anything more Scott looked up to see an unfamiliar figure - Remy, Scott presumed - standing in the doorway. Scott noticed the reddish brown hair down and the strangest eyes he'd ever seen - red on black. Remy was also wearing a full-length trench coat that just added to his imposing figure.

"You'd have t' be de great and powerful Cyclops, non? Hardly recognise y' wit'out your leat'er."

"You can call me Scott here," Scott replied, frowning at Remy's arrogant tone. He slowly stood up from the desk he was sitting at. "You're..." Scott glanced at his watch, "a few hours early for our meeting."

Remy stalked closer, "I know. Got tired of de babysittin' me." Remy stopped right in front of Scott, looking him blatantly up and down. "'Sides, wanted t' meet y'."

"Really," Scott said slowly, knowing a challenge when he saw one. "I've heard you don't think much about the X-Men."

Remy suddenly grinned, flashing white teeth, "Don't t'ink much of y' hero acts, non. But I like de uniforms. Dey are very flatterin', just in de right places." Remy looked pointedly down Scott's body.

"Why don't you join up? Then you can have one for yourself," Scott replied, his only reaction to Remy's look being a tightening of his jaw.

"Dat make y' de boss o' me?" Remy asked, looking back up.

"Out on the field, yes."

The arrogance slipped a little from Remy's expression and he took a step back, tilting his head. "And what'd it require o' me, dis joining up?"

"You'd have to train with the team. Once you're good enough you can come out with us on missions. Lately all we're doing is small time, but as I'm sure you've heard sometimes we come up against a good share of trouble."

"Remy already know how t' fight."

"That doesn't matter, you need to learn to work with the others. I won't let an unknown put the rest of us in danger out there. And the others have to learn to work with you as well. I also need to know the extent of your powers. Is your...explosive power, your only one?"

"Kinetic power I call it and non," Remy said after a moment, a slight smile quirking his lips. "I got some odder tricks."

"What other tricks?"

"Cyke?"

Scott jerked and looked towards the door. Logan stood just inside it, his eyes roving from Scott to Remy and back again. "I'm busy, Logan."

"Well, I can wait then," Logan said, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe. Scott glared at him.

"Dis for 'xample. Can tell y' two got some unfinished issues."

Scott dragged his eyes from Logan to Remy, "What?"

"Got some empat'y power, can feel what odders feel." Remy's look didn't waver from Scott's for a few long moments. "Can finish our meetin' later, eh? Remy leave y' two to it." Remy strolled casually towards the door. A look passed between Remy and Logan as he walked by. Then Remy was gone, leaving Scott and Logan alone for the first time in a long while.

It took a moment for Scott to look at Logan again. "What do you want, Wolverine?" He asked, purposefully using Logan's codename to create some sort of distance between them.

Logan's expression darkened a little but he otherwise didn't react. "My security code for the Danger Room ain't workin'."

"I know it's not. I changed it." Scott turned back to face the Danger Room's controls. In his peripheral vision he saw Logan slam the button that closed the door and then walk towards him.

"Why?"

Scott turned to face Logan again, "You think I wouldn't notice you haven't been training with the others? You may think of yourself as a loner, Wolverine, but you should know by now that is not what the X-Men is about. We are a team."

"That what's really buggin' ya, Cyke?" Logan replied. "Or maybe it's because ya don't like anyone going against your perfectly organised little world. Don't want anyone passing those lines ya got drawn out." As Logan spoke he took a few more steps forward, crowding Scott against the control deck.

The double meaning of Logan's words didn't escape Scott and the glow from his glasses went out as he closed his eyes. Scott flinched when Logan brought a hand up and rested his fingertips lightly against Scott's cheek. He didn't move away though, or open his eyes. Logan slowly trailed his fingers down Scott's cheek, the slight bristle of stubble rough under his skin. Logan swapped his fingers with his thumb, sliding the pad down the middle of Scott's lips before gripping his chin. "Don't. Logan."

Logan didn't do anything for a moment before letting his hand drop. "Yeah, I get it," Logan said, taking a step back and looking at Scott, who opened his eyes and stared back. Then Logan turned away and walked out of the room.

The next day Scott stood for a long time at the door of Jean's room. As far as he knew no one had been in there since the incident of her disappearance. In his own room Scott had gathered Jean's things together in a box and hadn't been able to bring himself to throw any of it away. Most of the time he couldn't even compare the Jean he'd known since she came to the school and the Jean who had tried to kill him into the same person. They were two completely different people personality wise.

Somewhere in his heart Scott preferred to think Jean really had been possessed by something and it had been that force that used Jean's mind to seem at all like her. Scott preferred to think that it hadn't been some sort of psychotic break. Of course the reason didn't change the fact that she was gone. Scott didn't know if they had been together long enough for him to have fallen in love with Jean, but he had loved her. And what she'd done hadn't changed that fact.

Breathing in deeply Scott finally reached out for the doorknob and pushed the door open. A musty odour wafted over him as he flicked on the light. Stepping inside Scott went over to open the window and then turned back and looked around. It wasn't a neat room; Jean had never been the overly neat sort. A blouse hung on the chair in front of her dresser. Schoolbooks were scattered on the desk and floor, some lying open. A cotton scarf lay on the unmade bed and after a moment of looking at it, Scott moved to pick it up. The smell of Jean's perfume assaulted his senses as he did so and he suddenly had the sensation that she surrounded him. Scott's hand tightened around the scarf as he closed his eyes, not sure if he wanted to reject this feeling or welcome it.

A few moments later Scott's instincts alerted him to a presence and he opened his eyes before looking at the door. Ororo was standing there, looking around the room before she noticed Scott was looking at her. "I'm sorry I...noticed the door open and-" Ororo shook her head, laughing a little in self-depreciation. "Crazy maybe, but for a moment...I thought she might be back."

"It's okay 'Ro," Scott said, letting the hand holding Jean's scarf fall to his side.

Ororo took a few steps inside, looking around again. "I still think of the Jean that would talk about boys and love and tease me about Hank to be the real Jean. Not the Jean that..." Ororo looked back at Scott, "...hurt anyone."

"I suppose I came here...to say goodbye to that Jean, the real Jean," Scott said, looking at the scarf.

Ororo closed the distance between them and reached for Scott's empty hand, giving it a squeeze. "She would want you to move on, Scott."

"I just hope I'm moving in the right direction," Scott said obscurely, looking away. "I think it's time we...pack her things up," he said, looking back at Ororo. "Do you want to help me?"

"Of course I will," Ororo answered, smiling lightly.

"Iceman, Wolverine, Beast and Gambit suit up and get to the hanger, we've got an emergency." Scott clicked the P.A. system off, his eyes going back to the news bulletins broadcasting the escalating disaster. Some sort of bacteria had mutated in a pharmaceutical factory, located outside of a small town in Ohio, and had taken on a life of its own. Reports were saying that its growth rate was phenomenal and it had already killed at least five factory employees. Some feared that the bacteria were becoming sentient...and evil. So far all the police had been able to do was evacuate the area and contain it.

"Are you sure Remy is ready to go on this sort of mission, Scott?" The Professor asked.

Scott turned away from the War Room's monitors, "I think we're going to need him in this circumstance." Scott was already in his uniform and he started off towards the hanger.

"Be careful," Xavier called after him.

"Always, Professor," Scott called back just before going through the doorway. He got the Blackbird fired up and ready for lift-off while the others made their way there. Hank and Bobby were first, then Logan and finally Remy. Scott didn't answer their questions until the Blackbird was in the air. He then relayed everything that he knew in a business-like efficiency.

"Don't mutant bacteria occur all the time, like viruses?" Bobby asked when he'd finished.

"Not sentient ones," Scott replied, steering the jet towards Ohio, "And not ones that have such a fast growth rate." He glanced behind him and frowned when he noticed Gambit had worn his ever-present trench coat over his uniform. "This is not a fashion parade we're going to, Gambit," Scott said, using Remy's new codename.

Remy smirked, "Y' might like de leat'er skins, but Remy prefer a little more coverin'." Logan snorted contemptuously at that.

"Do we have a plan, oh Fearless Leader?" Hank spoke up from where he sat in the co-pilot's seat.

Scott turned his attention back on the window, "To effectively dispose of it we'll need to vaporize every last speck of the bacteria. I'm hoping with Gambit's powers we'll be able to do that. It might be we'll need to blow the whole building. The reports stated that though there is an epicentre, the brain so to speak, of the bacteria, it's spreading throughout the entire complex."

"You know, it is quite possible that this...life form...is not sentient exactly, but simply acting within its characteristics at a superior level," Beast mused. "All bacteria thrive and consume any-"

"Beast, we don't need a biology lesson. We need to get rid of it," Scott interrupted. "Get ready, I'm firing the boosters." Scott left only a moment before pressing the booster ignition and the Blackbird surged through the air, pressing them all back into their seats.

"Y' wan' me t' blow it up now, Cyke?" Remy asked. They - being Hank, Remy, Scott and Logan, as Bobby was outside building an ice wall barricade - were inside the factory, having finally found the core of the bacteria. It now filled an entire lab room with its furry, green form. They'd been fighting its offshoots throughout the building since getting inside, and with the combination of Cyclops' and Gambit's powers they were able to make progress through the hallways.

"Beast, find as many gas pipes around here as you can and open them up, I'll keep you covered. Wolverine, help him. We're going to have to make sure this will work." Five minutes later Beast and Wolverine were back with them and gas was gushing out of a few broken pipes into the hallway. "Gambit, do you think you can send your charge down the pipes from a few metres away?"

Remy nodded, "Sure, even furt'er den dat."

"All right, let's go." Scott led them rapidly back down the hallways until they were half way out before stopping them again. On the walls nearby were the end of the pipes that led back towards the lab room. "You're up, Gambit. Beast, Wolverine, keep going and get out of here." The bacteria were beginning to grow back down the hallway towards them. Remy took off a glove and wrapped his hand around one of the metal pipes near the ceiling. Hank and Logan left towards the exit. Scott stayed to blast the bacteria that were getting a little too close for comfort. Remy's pink coloured kinetic charge could be seen following the paths of the pipes down the hallway.

Not long afterwards an explosion rocked the building, the force of which threw Scott and Remy a few metres down the hall. Scott struggled to his feet first and yanked Remy up. "Come on, run!" They sprinted towards the door they'd come in by and nearly collided into Logan around a corner, who was seemingly coming back again. "What are you doing? Move it," Scott yelled, not slowing his stride. Logan only paused until they were in front of him before starting after them.

Outside Bobby was just completing his ice wall half way between the factory and the barricades the police had set up. The Infectious Control teams were also set up behind the barricades with their decontamination units. Everyone had stopped whatever they were doing and were watching the factory. Hank was already behind Bobby's barricade and Scott urged Remy towards it. They just made it to safety with only a few seconds to spare before a series of explosions started, powerful enough to send tremors through the ground.

Fire shot up through the roof of the factory and out of windows. The X-Men dropped to the ground behind the reinforced ice as a larger explosion engulfed the whole of the building. Bits of metal and concrete hit the ice wall, but Bobby had done his job well and the ice didn't give. The explosion had sent a fireball up into the air and for a few minutes the sounds of shattering glass and grinding metal was all anyone could hear.

When it finally died down Scott stood up and looked around. The air surrounding the burning factory was filled with dust and smoke. Scott frowned and started walking towards it. "Logan?" When there was no answer Scott began to jog towards the inferno that was the factory.

"Cyclops!" Hank called out but Scott was already gone, swallowed by the haze surrounding the factory. A few tense minutes passed with the others looking at each other in indecision when Logan suddenly materialised out of the haze, looking a little battered but otherwise all right. Hank stared at him before hitting his wrist-com. "Cyclops, Wolverine is back here. I repeat Wolverine is safe."

There was no reply but a few minutes later Scott staggered back, his face and hair grey with ash and soot. He stopped, bending over and coughing the smoke out of his lungs. "Let's get to the decontamination units," Scott ordered when he had breath enough to talk. He didn't look at Logan and started off towards the gate. After the extensive decontaminations and a short meeting with the police captain in charge the team went wearily back to the jet. Remy, Hank and Bobby got in first. Just before Logan went in behind them Scott stopped him, calling out his name.

"What were you thinking?" Scott ground out angrily when Logan had turned back towards him. Taking a step forward Scott reached out and gripped Logan's shoulder hard enough to be painful. Logan stared stonily back at him as Scott's fingers dug even deeper into his shoulder. A minute passed. "Don't ever do that again," Scott said, his expression stony. After another moment he let go and walked up the jet's ramp. Scott got himself strapped into the pilot's seat without another word to anyone. Logan came in and took his seat at the back before the ramp retracted. The others glanced at each other, feeling the tension. Remy especially looked affected by it though said nothing. The entire trip back to Westchester ended up being in silence.

Scott scrubbed at his face under the water to get the grime off. He was in his personal bathroom, having walked off as soon he landed the Blackbird. He'd ignored the Professor's request for a de-briefing and had told Xavier to talk to Hank instead, not caring then what his desertion would look like. Scott stayed in the shower a long time, letting the water pelt down on his body with enough force to sting. Scott couldn't come to terms with the amount of panic and sick fear he'd felt back at the factory when Logan had disappeared. Despite the numerous times other members of the team had been close to death - including himself - Scott had never felt that way before.

Always his role of team leader hadn't allowed his emotions to ever take control of him before. He was the one who had to stay in control, to keep everyone organised and to make the tough decisions. It only meant one thing that Logan was the only one to make all of that meaningless. And it was one thing Scott didn't want to accept. If the others, Scott thought, didn't already think he was losing the plot they assuredly did now.

Scott avoided everyone all afternoon; even Hank when he came knocking to check up on him. He went to bed in a no better state of mind and didn't fall asleep for a long time. A few hours later he woke abruptly, falling out of the grip of a nightmare. As soon as he opened his eyes the images began to fade, but Scott remembered he'd been back at the factory. It had been on fire and Jean was floating within the flames, controlling them maybe. Logan had been running towards her, seemingly unaware of the danger. Scott had been further off but, as dreams were like, he couldn't ever get closer or have himself heard. And he'd been yelling at Logan, he remembered that. Yelling at him to come back.

Raising a hand Scott pushed his hair off his forehead. A sudden overwhelming feeling of being watched made him jolt into a sitting position and look around the room. "Jean?" Scott choked out without thinking. Seeing that the room was empty Scott fell back onto the bed, exhaling with a shaky laugh. A while later and still wide-awake, Scott gave up on sleeping and got out of bed. Putting on a t-shirt he left his room and walked quietly down the hallway. Passing Peter's room Scott stilled at the sound of voices. He recognised Peter's voice and then...Remy's. Scott stared at the door for a long moment before shaking his head and heading on to the kitchen. If Remy and Peter were sleeping together Scott decided he'd rather not know anything more about it.

In the kitchen he poured a glass of water from the refrigerator and stood drinking it by the window. Scott wasn't all that surprised when Remy appeared at the door a couple of minutes later, dressed only in a pair of boxer shorts. "Cyke?"

"What do you want, Remy?" Scott said in a resigned tone, not turning his head even when he heard Remy walking up behind him.

"I-can' control m' empt'y when 'm 'sleep," Remy said, slowly. "I felt y'."

Scott pressed the glass down on the kitchen counter, his jaw working. "So?"

"De nightmare, it made y' scared. Why y' do dis t' y'self? T' him? Y' know de trut'," Remy paused for a moment, "Y' care f' him. An' he-."

Remy's words broke off when Scott turned around and gripped his shoulder. "Stop it," Scott hissed fiercely.

In return Remy's eyes flashed with anger and he gripped Scott's wrist, yanking it away from his shoulder. "Dey call y' 'Fearless'," Remy mocked, taking a step back and letting go of Scott. "But y' not'ing but a coward." Remy turned around and left the room.

Scott turned back to the darkened window and shakily picked up his glass, downing the rest of the water in a few gulps. He could see his reflection in the glass and turned away. Feeling sick to his stomach Scott poured another glass of water and drank it slowly, staring at nothing. He knew if he went back to his room he wouldn't be able to sleep any better than he had before. And the weariness in his body had built up into a near unbearable ache in his bones.

Placing the glass in the dishwasher Scott left the kitchen, walking slowly as his heart thudded in his chest. Passing through the empty hallways he had the strange sensation of being a ghost. Getting to a door near the end of a hallway Scott stopped in front of it. For a long time he just stood there staring at it. His heart rate only slowed a little through a lot of concentration and strength of will. Scott knocked on the door. He listened to the sounds within of someone moving around before the door was pulled open.

Logan stood there, wearing only a pair of sweat pants, his face blank when he saw Scott. "Yeah?"

"Why did you come back in the factory? Why didn't you just get out?" Scott blurted, as if needing to make out like he was at Logan's door in the middle of the night for professional reasons. "You disobeyed a direct order."

Logan snorted and raised a hand up to rest against the doorframe. Scott's jaw clenched. "Like that's new? Maybe all your 'we're a team, we look out for each other' lectures finally rubbed off on me."

"That's hard to believe."

"What're ya really doin' here Cyke? Ya didn't come here to lecture me in the middle of night."

Scott frowned at Logan's chest, not wanting to see those knowing eyes looking at him. "I...."

Logan reached out and gripped Scott's chin, forcing his head up. Scott expression tensed. Logan ran his hand slowly over Scott's cheek before sliding it down to curl his fingers around the back of Scott's neck. Logan pulled and Scott stepped forward, though he could have resisted, into Logan's space. Logan leaned forward until there was only an inch of space between them. "Tell me this isn't what ya came here for." Scott stayed silent, though it was obvious he was dealing with some internal struggle. Logan closed the small distance enough to brush their lips together. When it seemed Scott wasn't about to panic Logan kissed him again, more forcefully.

Scott's internal struggle became more violent as the part that wanted this fought with the part that resisted the idea of being with another man. A part that even more vehemently resisted the idea of being with a man who had once left him for dead. That part of him was telling him to end this right now, to go to another room if not his own and get some sleep.

Slowly this voice was drowned out as Scott hesitantly slid his arms around Logan and returned the kiss. As soon as he did Logan pulled Scott inside before closing the door and pressing Scott back against it. Logan's eyes were dark in the gloomy lighting of the room, which came from a small lamp next to the bed. "I know there's no good reason why ya should trust me...or forgive me. But I know you feel what we have, I know I ain't alone." Logan paused, glancing at his hand that rested on Scott's shoulder. "You said it wasn't my fault - that I was made what I was by Weapon X. Maybe you're right I dunno. All I know is I'm different now. Being on the team changed me...you changed me."

"Logan," Scott finally spoke up, "Nothing changed you to be what you weren't already. We just showed you that you didn't have to be what you were trained to be."

"Yeah...guess so."

"And maybe against my better judgement...I do forgive you. And I can learn to trust."

"Yeah?"

Scott reached out and pulled Logan against him. "Show me." Show me I can trust you, was what Scott meant. Show me I'm doing the right thing. Logan smiled in an almost feral way that somehow managed not to come across as malicious. Then he kissed Scott again, roughly meshing their mouths together. Nudging his knee forward between Scott's legs Logan rubbed his thigh against Scott's groin. The fact that he'd never been with another man, or at least couldn't remember doing so, didn't perturb Logan in the least.

Sliding his hand down Scott's muscled chest and stomach Logan slipped his hand under Scott's waistband. Taking a hold of Scott's already half-hard cock Logan applied the pressure he liked himself and began to stroke the firm skin in his hand. Scott groaned and pressed against him, letting Logan call the shots since it seemed he had more of an idea of what he was doing than Scott did. Though some small part in Scott's mind admitted that he liked giving up the control.

Logan moved them over to the bed and stripped off their clothes, rolling on top of Scott and exploring his body with hands and mouth. Scott, at first resistant to this treatment, was soon beyond thought and threw his head back in abandon. "I know what ya want," Logan growled into Scott's ear as he rocked his cock against Scott's. "I know I can give it to ya." Scott shook his head in a half-hearted protest and then grunted in pain, his eyes snapping open, when Logan suddenly gripped his dick hard. Scott stared at him, his chest heaving, surprised that the pain wasn't making him go soft. In fact it seemed to be doing the opposite.

Swallowing Scott nodded. Logan proceeded to show Scott just what he meant, taking them both above and beyond any expectations either of them might have had. Logan showed Scott in the most intimate way how they fit together and just how much Scott could trust him.

Later in the early hours of the morning when the two men lay sprawled together and asleep a pale, golden apparition of light appeared in the air above the bed. The light spread out into tendrils and folded over each other before it drifted lower and appeared to be caressing Logan and Scott. In the next moment it was gone.

The End.

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