Path: usenet.ins.cwru.edu!b62535.STUDENT.CWRU.Edu!adm4 From: adm4@po.cwru.edu (Chit) Newsgroups: alt.devilbunnies Subject: Testing...(3) [s] Date: Tue, 26 Sep 1995 08:22:14 GMT Organization: CWRU Lines: 75 Message-ID: NNTP-Posting-Host: b62535.student.cwru.edu THREE WEEKS LATER... they *finally* found some ordinary squirrels that they could convert safely. The virus had had absolutely no effect on the resistance squirrels, and while they seemed to know what was going on, they could hardly be trusted to work with sensitive experimental equipment. So they and Chit (who, apparently, also couldn't be trusted) had scoured the countryside for any sign of squirrel life. And several days after Chit would have given up, they found some. Quite a few, actually, occupying a park way the hell out in the middle of nowhere. And wouldn't you know it, the machine broke (or was broken, Chit thought he saw tooth marks on the electrical cable). So as a 'workaround' Zaphod had the five of them (Chit, Kara, and the three squirrels from the resistance, called 'Hey you!' 'No, you!' and 'Yeah, you!' respectively, since they refused to tell their names) pour ounces of a pink SPAM extract down their throats the instant they awoke after infection, which now had to be administered by bite, since squirrel-powered tools were unable to puncture the barrels of squirrelvirus they'd dragged all the way down from Ohio. Chit absolutely refused to bite the squirrels, despite the submentat's raving. "It's too dangerous," he said, "And disgusting, besides! I can handle a laser --" "That's a matter of opinion, [flick]" Kara said, "But if you're too squeamish I'll do it." And that was that. In return Chit, of course, had to handle her share of the SPAM, which was quite a bit messier, since few animals (sentient or not) will willingly swallow large quantities of liquid poured in their mouths right after they awake. "Repeat after me," Chit said, grabbing a cannister as he saw signs of movement in one of today's subjects, "I swear loyalty to house and clan Tremere..." "Stop it [chitter]," Kara said, "Why do you read those things, anyway?" "I'm bored. We haven't seen any sign of Fudd activity since we got here, and the bunnies are hopping around like they haven't a care in the world. They're not exactly quivering with fear that Keyes is going to come through here in retribution." "Yeah, I'm bored too, but I don't need to read that human garbage. You should practice with me. You need it. [flick]" For once, she refrained from noting how the last batch of recruits had outshot and outmaneuvered him on their first day after conversion, before they'd even learned English. Chit sighed. "I just wish there were such a thing as vampires, you know? Or werewolves. I've always wanted to be a werewolf. A squirrel-wolf, I guess. When I first got into the war..." "We were always in the war." Chit jumped. "Not really. I mean, when a warren's been at peace for twenty years, you start to expect that it'll always be that way, you know?" He shook his head. "Of course you don't, that was before your time." Kara grimaced. "That's no excuse to confuse them like that. [flick]" "[shrug] It's not like they'll remember it. Now if you'll quit hounding me I can get back to work..." "One thing," Kara said, grinning. "If I hear you've invited some humans over to play this 'storytelling game' with you, I'll tell the mentat. [flick]" "SUBmentat," Chit corrected harshly. "What's the difference?" Chit just sighed in frustration, and after a second or two she left, back to the main burrow. He turned back to his... childe. "Repeat: I swear loyalty to house and clan UCirc..." -- Chit (This would all be so much simpler with a little Auspex...)