Aaron rolled over in bad and woke up. No, not yet...

"Wake up!" came a shrill voice.

Aaron just groaned. Tiny feet pattered across the covers and onto his face.

"ARRRGGGHH! GET OFF ME!" he screamed, leaping up. The squirrels herded him to
the bathroom and into the shower, then left him to wash up by himself (after
he absolutely refused to do it under supervision). Aaahh, a nice warm bath.
Sure, the water turned a nasty shade of brown, but after three or four
refillings most of the dirt was gone, and he laid back to relax. It was
amazing how tense his mucles had gotten in only a few... weeks? Months? Of
driving. 

Weeks. It had to be weeks. It HAD to be!

At least the last couple... days. It was DAYS damn it! At least for the last
part he'd had a decent car to drive. Pay cash, transfer the plates...

Finally give up and stop at a damn hotel to rest. Can't sleep very well in
a car, can't think very well without sleep.

[scratchscratch] "GO AWAY!"

"Come on, it's one already!" Sylvie yelled back. Aaron sighed and stood up,
reaching for a towel. Time to get going again.

--

"So, where did the guy at the hotel say we were?" Sylvie asked.

"Um... I didn't ask," Aaron said, "Forgot. Dammit!"

"Stop and ask, then, we can't keep wandering around forever."

"Okay, okay, get off my case, I'll stop at the next town." At least they
were passing towns now. They were even in Colorado. Somewhere in Colorado.
Not on the interstate -- he still got a bad feeling whenever he went near
one. The signs were just too cute.

"Turn down that driveway right now and ask," Sylvie said. When Aaron failed
to reply, she leaped up and bit him.

"OW! Stop it!" he said, turning, "I heard you." He rubbed his shoulder. "Damn
squirrel. Probably get rabies." But he turned down the road she'd indicated
-- he'd seen her throw a grown troll to the ground, he didn't want to argue.
Particularly when she was right.

"If I had rabies, I'd know it," Sylvie said, settling back down in her seat.
"Besides, I doubt I even broke the skin." They drove on.

"This is a damn long driveway," Aaron remarked after a few minutes. "I think
its another road."

"Look, there's a building up ahead."

"Hmph. A gate. Well, I guess I'll stop and ask directions. Watch this be
some sort of military base -- they'll shoot us all for being spies."

"Who's we, white man. No one but us squirrels here." Sylvie jumped in the
back seat and crawled through the hole the squirrels had bored to their lair
in the trunk.

"Um, excuse me," Aaron said rolling down the window.

"Freeze!" said the man inside the booth, pointing a shotgun at his face.
"Get out of the car!" I was joking, Aaron said to whatever cruel fate was
taunting him. Why do you do this to me?

"Look," Aaron said, "I'm just lost, I need--"

"Get. Out. Now. [click]" Aaron opened the door and got out, raising his
hands above his head. Ten or so more soldiers -- were they soldiers? Strange
uniforms, if so -- came out and surrounded the car, waving some sort of
scanner at it.

"This is it, sarge," one of them said, "This is the blip."

"Deactivate your morpharmor now."

"I'm not wearing morpharmor..."

"Then keep you hands up and come with us, symp!"

"I'm NOT a--" he paused as the shotgun twitched threateningly. "[gulp] symp!"

"It's coming from the truck," one of the men said, pulling out a large axe,
"Let's see what he's carrying." 

"I can open--" Aaron started, when the man swung the axe and hacked and pried 
it open. 

A torrent of squirrels leaped out and ran for the trees. 

"Thanks, guys," Aaron mumbled. "Look," he said to the head Fudd -- these had
to be Fudds -- "You picked me up on those Cute detecting things, right? You
were just reading the squirrels! There were a lot of them packed so close
it probably tripped the threshhold."

"Maybe," the 'sarge' said, "But squirrels or bunnies, they're still cute,
they're still furry, and they're still critters, and you [spit!] are still a
symp."

"Why don't you let me explain?"

"Go ahead."

"Without a gun pointing at me? What am I gonna do, singlehandedly overpower
all of you with my bare hands? Run for it?" The man lowered the gun, but
not very far. Aaron decided it would be wise to keep his hands raised.

"Look, you're Fudds, right?"

"Maybe we are."

"Then you'll know how to get to NoCo?" The men snickered. "What?"

"You found NoCo," someone behind him said. "Now what?"

"I'd like to join the Army of Fudd?" And he was off to SUCH a great start...

--
Aaron Mandelbaum   ("Pat yourself on the back, and give yourself a handshake,
                     for everything is not yet lost..." -- Faith No More)