Fandom:

The West Wing AU

Pairing:

C.J./Danny

Rating:

PG-13 for topic

Distribution:

How much do I owe you for hauling it off?

Spoilers:

Up to and including Full Disclosure, from which the series follows on

Email:

exfilia at livejournal dot com

Disclaimer:

if I owned them, they'd have a lot more fun

Warning:

mentions nonconsensual sex

Note:

Hoynes lovers should probably be hitting delete right about now.

"Didn't they ask you up to breakfast?" C.J. asked Toby when she found him sitting on her office couch.

"The First Lady evicted me yesterday morning with orders to quit snivelling like a kicked puppy and not come back until I was invited. Nobody mentioned breakfast."

"You were snivelling?"

"You don't remember?"

"I don't remember much of anything." She sat down beside him. "I remember when I got back, and we talked, and then I called someone. I shouldn't have done that."

"Why's that?"

"He wasn't exactly supportive."

"You want me to clobber him?"

"I can do my own clobbering, Toby."

"I know that, but that does not alleviate my urge to clobber. It's a testosterone thing, a clobber reflex. Somebody hurts someone you love, you clobber them."

"That's sweet. Stupid, but sweet. Anyway, I don't remember anything after I talked to him."

"I came back down after a while, but you said you wanted to be alone. You sat there all night. C.J., I told Leo. You were freaked, and he needed to know why. And we told the President."

"So basically everyone I work with knows I'm a total slut who slept with a married man?"

"They found the police report, but that was later."

"So everyone knows let I myself get into a situation where some guy could knock me around?"

"The President wanted to carpet-bomb these stairs you supposedly fell down."

"He apologized."

"Who?"

"The president. This morning while Danny was in the shower, he came in our room and said he was sorry for exposing me... damn it, Toby, he didn't even know me then! None of us worked for him then!"

"Okay, bypassing for the moment the part about Danny and the shower...."

"He doesn't work for the Post any more."

"And ignoring the fact that *I* was not allowed to visit you *at* *all*...."

"You're not going to let this drop, are you?"

"The president needs to feel like he's helping. We all do."

"I do not need any help!"

"I know. We're talking about other people's needs, here. Somebody you care about gets hurt, you feel the pain, you know? You need to do something to make the hurt go away."

"Like clobber somebody?"

"By preference, yeah. You got any candidates?"

"I'll make a list. Come on." She stood up, and pulled him to his feet. "We've got staff in a few minutes, and I need to look up some stuff."

"You sure you're up to this?"

"Watch me. And Toby? You do help."

"Thanks."

"Yeah. Now get out of here and let me work, will you?"

"C.J.?"

"Good morning, Josh."

"You okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because John Hoynes is a son of a bitch and probably a criminal, and I'm just a plain old pig's ass. I'm sorry, okay?"

"For what?"

"Not believing."

"Did I ask you to believe anything?"

"No, and that makes it worse. I was looking at the actual hard evidence, and still...."

"We have senior staff."

"You need to hear about yesterday first."

"I really don't want to talk about this."

"You and twenty-six other people Hoynes coerced, and we're still tracking down former employees. Plus two other people who got fired, and their five victims."

"Twenty... did the man ever do anything but get laid?"

"The constitutional requirements of that job aren't anything real heavy. I'm guessing he had a lot of time on his hands. Not that that's an excuse, of course...."

"Get over it, Josh."

He took her hand, and discovered that he could wrap his own almost all the way around her wrist so that his fingertips nearly touched the base of his thumb.

"I'm sorry about... about the crack about twisting your arm."

Suddenly she was very quiet, very pale.

"C.J.? You're not going to freak on me again, are you?"

"No. No, just, I remembered yesterday when you.... Anyway, it was the other one. The other arm."

"I'm sorry." He ran his fingers across her other wrist, tracing the creases, the tendons, the tiny blue veins. There was no mark, no scar.

"It was ten years ago, Josh."

"Not to me, it wasn't. To me it was yesterday, and I feel like a mule kicked me in the ass, and in the... the self-respect. I'm sorry, because you're the one who got hurt and this ought to be about you, and I don't know why I'm hurt and I feel guilty about hurting and... and I just want to be a better person than this."

"You know, you are the fourth one I've had this conversation with today, and the day hasn't started yet. You are a good person, Joshua. I love you, and I feel good that you care, okay? Now can we please get back to business?"

"This is business. This is what we're going to be focused on for a while."

"There's an election coming up."

"Yeah, and that's the real problem. Come on; we've got senior staff."