Fandom:

The West Wing AU

Pairing:

C.J./Danny

Rating:

PG-13 for topic

Distribution:

How much do I owe you for hauling it off?

Spoilers:

Up to and including Full Disclosure, from which the series follows on

Email:

exfilia at livejournal dot com

Disclaimer:

if I owned them, they'd have a lot more fun

Warning:

mentions nonconsensual sex

Note:

Hoynes lovers should probably be hitting delete right about now.

"I don't want to hear word one about sunscreen!" barked Toby, one long finger pointed at C.J.'s forehead.

"That's just because you don't burn," pouted Donna.

"I don't burn," he said, "because I stay the hell out of the sun!"

"You look like death," said Donna.

"Death?" he mocked. "This is your idea of death?"

"You look great, Toby," C.J. said.

"...for a vampire," added Donna.

"Don't encourage him," C.J. told her. "He's not allowed out alone on this trip."

"Am I not?"

"Not!" Donna told him. "I'm supposed to chain myself to you if...."

"You brought chains? Whips, too?"

"Toby, leave her alone!"

"She's the one chaining herself to men! Does Josh know about this proclivity?"

"It was his idea," said Donna.

"Oh, ho, ho!"

"I think he wanted to watch."

"Will you two stop it? I have to call Danny!"

"He'll want to watch, too," said Donna. "Maybe we can set up a webcam."

"From Air Force One?" C.J. laughed. "All right, both of you up front while I make this call, or I'm really telling Danny about the whips."

Toby cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Danny doesn't know about the whips?"

"Toby...."

"Okay, let's talk money here!"

"Who could possibly blackmail you?" Danny asked, and laughed when he heard the answer. "About what? Mmmm. Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm a pervert. I've got to go. Because my boss is standing in the doorway trying not to fall over laughing. And if Donna gives you any trouble, tell her Josh has her underwear in his desk drawer. Yeah, I love you, too. Bye."

"Donna lets Josh keep her underwear...."

"Not exactly. He got it from Karen Cahill."

"Do I want to know...?"

"Probably, but you're going to have to get it from Donna."

"You're too shy to tell me?"

"Too eager to watch her squirm. Speaking of which, where's little miss Andover today?"

"She went down to talk to Charlie. She had something in a bag, and it looked like she might cry."

"Oh, yeah," he said, rubbing his hands together. "Now we're getting somewhere!"

"Donna!"

"Margaret," she reminded him, setting the documents he needed in front of him.

"How do you do that?" he asked.

"I've been prompting the chief of staff a lot longer than you've been playing chief of staff."

"Why? I mean, are you in love with him, or something?"

"Aren't you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Everybody, really, but you and Sam in particular. When you look at him, you just sort of melt."

"I don't know if you've noticed, not that it's any of your business, but I like girls."

"Yeah, but you love Leo. I mean, none of us ever touch him. I don't think I could. It's like he's sacred, you know? Consecrated, meant for something else."

"Margaret? Close the door. Good, now listen to me: this is a political job, and anything we say...."

"Good God, Josh, I never said it to anyone but you! I mean, it's not like he's...."

"I thought you were listening to me."

"Listening."

"We do not even joke about anybody in this building being gay, ever. Except for the ones who are gay. Them, we applaud."

"I never said he was gay."

"You have no reason to think he's gay."

"I have no reason to think he's gay. He was married. He dates his lawyer, his lawyer who is a woman."

"There ya go. You okay with this?"

"No."

"Margaret...."

"I feel like you just pulled me out of a bear trap, which is good, but I don't know where it is now or how many more there are or if there are bears in any of them."

"There are elephants in them, and Leo's hypersensitive right now, so let's just not put him through this when there's no reason to, okay?"

"Whatever you say."