Phil's Little Blog on the Prairie

One of the nine characteristics of a strong family (according to Diana Garland) is “involvement in, support from and contribution to their community and larger world,” a characteristic that congregations promoting family ministry can certainly encourage. Indeed, Garland’s fourth shift—a shift from targeting families primarily as recipients of the ministry of the church to equipping families to be engaged in ministry in their community and world”—addresses this specifically. And for Unitarian Universalist congregations, this should be a no-brainer.

My experience, however, has shown me that very few UU congregations actually have programs to encourage and support the involvement of families in the community and the larger world. Usually a congregation has some sort of social justice committee, and usually there is some sort of social justice component to the religious education programming for the children and youth. But rarely do these two integral parts of a congregation’s ministry work together. Other than helping to put together baskets for needy families around the holidays, congregational families are often forgotten when decisions about being engaged in the community and the larger world are made.

If a congregation is serious about family ministry, helping families take part in social justice work together is crucial. By encouraging families to live out their Unitarian Universalist principles in the larger world, congregations can strengthen both the bonds that tie individual family members together and the bonds that tie families to our Unitarian Universalist faith. Indeed, one of the key components of the vision statement from the UUA’s Lifespan Faith Development Staff Group is “children, youth, and adults who… realize that they are moral agents, capable of making a difference in the lives of other people.” And what better place for members of a family to learn this than with one another, in the company of other children, youth, and adults in their congregation?

Back to putting Diana Garland's defining perspectives for family ministry in a Unitarian Univeralist context.... Because we haven't been particularly consistent in our programs for families, Garland's third shift--"from defining family ministry by the programs the church offers for families (e.g., parent education, marriage enrichment) to defining family ministry as a potential focus for shaping every aspect of congregational life"--could be difficult for Unitarian Universalist congregations. Sure, we have programs like The Parent Trilogy and Our Whole Lives, which are designed to help the parents, children, and youth of our congregations. But we haven't developed many programs that address the needs of families as families. So this shift could be a bit of a stretch.

Then again, the fact that we don't have a long tradition of intentional family ministry frees us to develop programs that could emphasize the link between family ministry and congregational life, for example, programs based on the five curricula of the church from Maria Harris's Fashion Me a People: community, prayer, teaching, proclamation, and service. As usual, Unitarian Universalists have found many ways to translate some of these terms ("worship" instead of "prayer," "leadership" for "proclamation," etc.). What we call them, however, isn't as important as how we might use them in making family ministry a focus for shaping congregational life.

So imagine congregations that consistently ask "What's in it for families?" before making important decisions about community, worship, social justice, and lifespan education. Imagine committees that always include representatives from a variety of family formations. Imagine congregations that teach families how to live out the Unitarian Universalist proclamation "We need not think alike to love alike," not only at church, but in their homes and the larger community as well. If we kept families in mind when planning our programs in these five areas, then family ministry could truly shape congregational life--and that could make us more welcoming to even more liberal religious families in our communities looking for a spiritual home.

A couple of months ago I posted an excerpt of Tom Owen-Towle's essay on the twelve hallmarks of a healthy congregation. Since then, Tom's book on the subject has come out from Skinner House Books under the title, Growing the Beloved Community: Twelve Hallmarks of a Healthy Congregation. I haven't read through the book yet, but I can see from the chapter headings that he's made the twelve hallmarks a little more user friendly (as opposed to the original essay). For example, instead of saying that "beloved community means holding to the difficult," he now says the beloved community "occupies holy ground." In fact, almost all of the original headings have been changed. Here, then, are the new twelve hallmarks of a beloved community:

Occupy Holy Ground
Welcome All Souls
Care for Your Own
Give Everyone a Voice
Encourage Unity Amidst Diversity
Balance Justice and Joy
Look Back, Around, and Ahead
Spread Our Good News
Practice Respect
Nurture Stewards
Keep Journeying
Know That You Are Not Alone

I like the language Tom Owen-Towle is using here. I'll let you know more when I finish the book. (And please note that I've updated the link to my Prairie Star newsletter column on my Favorite Links page. It now goes to my most recent column called "Learning and Growing Together
As People of Principle." Check it out!)