153 Heroes Of The Empire Killed By Barbarians In Iraq

Baghdad Command Post, Iraq - Although technically higher than last week's toll of 131 dead Imperial Troopers, this week’s 153 deaths, at the hands of the insurgent barbarians, is significantly lower than the prediction of 175 deaths, which represents a major turning point in the war.

Death toll

This major turning point in the war was made possible by Imperial statisticians who began using a different technique for predicting casualties. Ever since the change in methodology, the actual number of casualties has been lower than the predicted number.

Emperor Bush VI cites the decline as evidence that the Imperial mission to restore democracy in Iraq is nearly accomplished. To quote the dear leader, “Democracy will prevail. The forces of good win where the forces of evil retreat. Enemies must be accounted by their actions. Mr. Hussein, hand over your WMDs to the coalition.”