5/30/2008
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull stars Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones, Cate Blanchett as Irina Spalko, Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood, Shia LaBeouf as Mutt Williams, Ray Winstone as 'Mac' George McHale, John Hurt as Professor 'Ox' Oxley, Jim Broadbent as Dean Charles Stanforth, and Igor Jijikine as Dovchenko.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is the last, hopefully, of the Harrison Ford Indiana Jones flics. This is technically a movie, in reality, it is a video of a game in combination with a Disney ride. Adventure/Plot there is none to speak of. The flaws in the film are endless, magnetic gunpowder, dry people after going over a waterfall, etc.
Since Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a Spielberg film, of course, his favorite subject is the center piece of the film. No expense has been spared to bring you mindless, improbable, sequences that are so predictable you can save a lot of money by using the force to see this movie.
I give it 1 out of 5 Refrigerators:
11/25/2006
For Your Consideration stars Catherine O'Hara as Marilyn Hack, Stephen Rannazzisi as Studio Gate Guard, Ed Begley Jr. as Sandy Lane, Eugene Levy as Morley Orfkin, Harry Shearer as Victor Allan Miller, Christopher Moynihan as Brian Chubb, Christopher Guest as Jay Berman, John Michael Higgins as Corey Taft, Carrie Aizley as Pam Campanella, Stephanie Courtney as Boom Operator, Suzy Nakamura as First AC, Jim Piddock as Simon Whitset, Jane Morris as Script Supervisor, Jennifer Coolidge as Whitney Taylor Brown, Jordan Black as Whitney's Assistant, Parker Posey as Callie Webb, Paul Dooley as "Paper Badge" Sergeant, John Krasinski as "Paper Badge" Officer, Don Lake as Ben Lilly - Love It Film Critic, Michael Hitchcock as David van Zyverden - Hate It Film Critic, Lauri Johnson as Morley's Secretary, Simon Helberg as Junior Agent, Rachael Harris as Mary Pat Hooligan, David Blasucci as Second AD, Sandra Oh as Marketing Person #1, Richard Kind as Marketing Person #2, Bob Balaban as Philip Koontz, Michael McKean as Lane Iverson, Ari Graynor as Young PA, Scott Adsit as First AD, Fred Willard as Chuck Porter, Jane Lynch as Cindy Martin, Mary McCormack as Pilgrim Woman, Shawn Christian as Pilgrim Man, Deborah Theaker as Liz Fenneman, Nina Conti as Weather Woman, Scott Williamson as Skip, Sarah Shahi as Sanchez, Steven M. Porter as Floor Manager, Ricky Gervais as Martin Gibb, Larry Miller as Syd Finkleman, Craig Bierko as Talk Show Host, Jeffrey C.J. Vanston as Talk Show Band Leader (as C.J. Vanston), Hart Bochner as Himself, Joe Satriani as Talk Show Guitarist, Oneida James as Talk Show Bassist, Curt Bisquera as Talk Show Drums, Anne King as Talk Show Trumpet, Shiela Gonzalez as Talk Show Saxophone, Lance Barber as Dinkie, Skyler Stone as Don, Mark Harelik as Round Table Host, Loudon Wainwright III as Nominee Ben Connelly, Rick Gonzalez as Chillaxin' Host, Claire Forlani as Herself, Kevin Sussman as Commercial Director, Jessica St. Clair as Hula Balls Spokeswoman, Casey Rose Wilson as Young Actress, Kevin Christy as Young Actor, and Derek Waters as Even Younger Actor.
For Your Consideration is a film by the great writers and actors that brought us This is Spinal Tap and Best of show. They have Jumped the Shark with this film. Remember Good acting will not save a bad story, and it doesn't in this film. It is predictable in its plot twist, it has no plot to speak off. In fact, I must have missed the good part as I fell asleep in this film. I was awakened immediately so who knows what I missed. It is not that I had too high of expectation, no, I was expecting to be entertained by people who had done a great job in the past. Those pictures had a plot, so did expect this film would have one, too.
For Your Consideration should be renamed For Your Disapointment.
I give it 1 out of 5 Oscars:
11/23/2006
Casino Royale stars Daniel Craig as James Bond, Eva Green as Vesper Lynd, Mads Mikkelsen as Le Chiffre, Judi Dench as M, Jeffrey Wright as Felix Leiter, Giancarlo Giannini as Mathis, Caterina Murino as Solange, Simon Abkarian as Alex Dimitrios, Isaach De Bankolé as Steven Obanno, Jesper Christensen as Mr. White, Ivana Milicevic as Valenka, Tobias Menzies as Villiers, Claudio Santamaria as Carlos, Sebastien Foucan as Mollaka, Malcolm Sinclair as Dryden, Richard Sammel as Gettler, Ludger Pistor as Mendel, Joseph Millson as Carter, Daud Shah as Fisher, Clemens Schick as Kratt, Emmanuel Avena as Leo, Tom Chadbon as Stockbroker, Ade as Infante, Urbano Barberini as Tomelli, Tsai Chin as Madame Wu, Charlie Levi Leroy as Gallardo, Lazar Ristovski as Kaminofsky, and Tom So as Fukutu.
Casino Royale is supposed to be a James Bond, 007 film, it is not. It has no "Q", no Baccarat, no gadgets, and sadly, no class! This is the trailer trash James Bond. He plays Texas Hold 'em, looks uncomfortable in a Tuxedo, and has very little clever dialog. Sherman set the wayback for 1962, so that we may see the one and only perfect James Bond. Sean Connery we miss you!
Casino Royale is an action flic. It should be re-released as Transporter 3. Because that is what this film is like. A lot of action very little lot and amazing stunts. Oh, here's the plot, bad guy invests money from other bad guys, it's a short stock sale, so to make the stock go down he must blow up the new plane they are unvailing. James thwarts the plot, the bad guy loses the money and holds a ten million dollar buy-in Texas Hold 'em game to get it back. Of course there is a plot twist and then the film drags and drags until we get to the last action finale.
I give it 3 out of 5 trailers:
10/23/2006
The Departed stars Leonardo DiCaprio as Billy Costigan, Matt Damon as Colin Sullivan, Jack Nicholson as Frank Costello, Mark Wahlberg as Dignam, Martin Sheen as Oliver Queenan, Ray Winstone as Mr. French, Vera Farmiga as Madolyn, Anthony Anderson as Brown, Alec Baldwin as Ellerby, Kevin Corrigan as Cousin Sean, James Badge Dale as Barrigan, David O'Hara as Fitzy (as David Patrick O'Hara), Mark Rolston as Delahunt, and Robert Wahlberg as Lazio.
The Departed is a film very similar in plot to No Way Out. This time it is about a cop, Matt Damon, who is actually tipping off the mob, Jack Nicholson. Of course, he is always on the edge of being discovered. It is an on the edge of your seat type of action plot. Blood and guts type of film!
The Departed is a good film with only one bad casting, Mark Wahlberg aka Marky Mark of the Funky Bunch. (Brother Donnie was with the New Kids on the Block) He is supposed to be the crass, slovenly, successful crime solving detective. Totally unbelievable!
I give it 3 out of 5 cell phones:
8/10/2006
Clerks II stars Brian O'Halloran as Dante Hicks, Jeff Anderson as Randal Graves, Rosario Dawson as Becky, Jason Mewes as Jay, Kevin Smith as Silent Bob, Trevor Fehrman as Elias, Rachel Larratt as Counter Girl with Ear Guy, Jennifer Schwalbach Smith as Emma Bunting, Shannon Larratt as Ear Guy, Jason Lee as Lance Dowds, Wanda Sykes as Wife, Ben Affleck as Gawking Guy, Earthquake as Husband, Sarah Ault as Catholic Schoolgirl #1, Zak Charles Knutson as Sexy Stud, Lalida Sujjavasin as Catholic Schoolgirl #2, Kevin Weisman as Hobbit Lover, Ethan Suplee as Teen #2, Jake Richardson as Teen #1, Gail Stanley as Elias' Mom, Bruce Macintosh as Elias' Dad, Scott Mosier as Concerned Father, Steven Rau as Diner #1, Mike Tsucalas as Diner #2, Joey Figueroa as Customer #1, Mike Cecconi as Customer #2, Ethan Jensen as Tumbling Customer, Harley Quinn Smith as Kid in Window, Edward Janda as Fireman, Byron Stanley as Bank Manager, Walter Flanagan as Pack-o-Smokes Guy, Grace Smith as Milk Maid, Joey Lauren Adams as Bank Teller, Joel Manning as Dancer, and Tracy Phillips as Dancer.
Clerks II is a film that reunites us with those loveable characters in Clerks. I thought I would never say this but, Clerks II has too much plot. The charm of Clerks was a lot of vignettes of just people interacting, no long range story plot. Clerks II, however, has our heros with new jobs and trying to regroup from there old lives.
Clerks II starts out slowly and picks up to some very interesting comedic scenes. This one is in color, which does not take away from the artistic side of this film. Silent Bob has done it again, he made a good movie about people with very little, to no direction in life. Gen X is alive and well!
I give it 4 out of 5 donkeys:
7/2/2006
Superman Returns stars Brandon Routh as Clark Kent/Superman, Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane, Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor, James Marsden as Richard White, Parker Posey as Kitty Kowalski, Frank Langella as Perry White, Sam Huntington as Jimmy Olsen, Eva Marie Saint as Martha Kent, Marlon Brando as Jor-El, Kal Penn as Stanford, David Fabrizio as Brutus, Tristan Lake Leabu as Jason White, Ian Roberts as Riley, Vincent Stone as Grant, Jack Larson as Bo the Bartender, Noel Neill as Gertrude Vanderworth,
Superman Returns is a film that should be titled Who Cares?. We get millions of dollars worth of special effects, but not even a comic book's worth of story. Brandon Routh was selected for the part because he looks like Christopher Reeve. He has very few lines, and does a good impression of Christopher Reeve being Clark Kent/Superman. Other than that there is nothing here. There is one subplot that we could care less about. This concerns Lois Lane's son. Is he the son of Perry White's nephew or the son of Superman, Who Cares?
I give it 2 out of 5 crystals:
2/8/2006
Walk the Line stars Joaquin Phoenix as John R. Cash, Reese Witherspoon as June Carter, Ginnifer Goodwin as Vivian Cash, Robert Patrick as Ray Cash, Dallas Roberts as Sam Phillips, Dan John Miller as Luther Perkins, Larry Bagby as Marshall Grant, Shelby Lynne as Carrie Cash, Tyler Hilton as Elvis Presley, Waylon Payne as Jerry Lee Lewis, Shooter Jennings as Waylon Jennings, Sandra Ellis Lafferty as Maybelle Carter, Dan Beene as Ezra Carter, Clay Steakley as W.S. 'Fluke' Holland, Johnathan Rice as Roy Orbison, Johnny Holiday as Carl Perkins, Ridge Canipe as Young J.R., Lucas Till as Young Jack Cash, Carly Nahon as Young Reba Cash, McGhee Monteith as Reba Cash, Wyatt Entrekin as Tommy Cash at 5, Hailey Anne Nelson as Roseanne Cash, Kerris Dorsey as Kathy Cash, Delaney Keefe as Cindy Cash, Victoria Hester as Carlene Carter, Deborah Rawlings as Diner Waitress, James DeForest Parker as Inmate, and James Keach as Warden.
Walk the Line is a film that gives very little insight into the Johnny Cash Story. It is a love story told through concerts. It starts with a flashback and then continues jumping around. The story does not stop long enough to give any depth to the jumps. It is very much like the last five minutes of Time tunnel where our heroes take another leap through time and do not know where in time they will land. Yes, I did learn a few new things about the man in black, however, it just did not grab me!
Walk the Line is basically a film to showcase the talents of Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon. Yes, they did excellent work portraying Johnny and June, but they did it to show off, not to tell the Johnny Cash story. Another distraction was the portrayal of the other famous characters at Sun Studios, Elvis, Jerry Lee, etc. These characters were not very believable, as only their appearance, not personalities were used in the film. So it was a bunch of bad look-a-likes that went on and off stage during the many concerts.
I give it 2 out of 5 microphones:
10/30/2005
Capote stars Philip Seymour Hoffman as Truman Capote, Catherine Keener as Nelle Harper Lee, Clifton Collins Jr. as Perry Smith, Chris Cooper as Alvin Dewey, Bruce Greenwood as Jack Dunphy, Bob Balaban as William Shawn, Amy Ryan as Marie Dewey, Mark Pellegrino as Richard Hickock, Allie Mickelson as Laura Kinney, Marshall Bell as Warden Marshall Krutch, Araby Lockhart as Dorothy Sanderson, Robert Huculak as New York Reporter, R.D. Reid as Roy Church, Rob McLaughlin as Harold Nye, Harry Nelken as Sheriff Walter Sanderson, Kerr Hewitt as Danny Burke, John Maclaren as Judge Roland Tate, Jeremy Dangerfield as Jury Foreman, and Kwesi Ameyaw as Porter #1.
Capote is a film about one of America's more flamboyant authors, Truman Capote. A celebrity in New York City circa late 1950's Truman Capote wrote In Cold Blood, a book that would change the way books are written. This film tells the story of Truman Capote's trials and tribulations during the time he was researching, investigating, and writing In Cold Blood.
Capote is a wonderful film. It starts slow, but becomes compelling. The acting is OSCAR material. Philip Seymour Hoffman as Truman Capote gives a brilliant performance. It is not stereotypical but just the right amount of flare and drama. The rest of the cast is also superb. The cinematography is excellent. The still images of Kansas and the open plane give a feeling of being there. This film making at its best!
I give it 5 out of 5 Drinks:
8/26/2005
The Aristocrats stars Chris Albrecht, Jason Alexander, Hank Azaria, Steven Banks as Billy The Mime, Shelley Berman, Lewis Black, David Brenner, Mario Cantone, Drew Carey, George Carlin, Mark Cohen, Billy Connolly, Tim Conway, Pat Cooper, Wayne Cotter, Andy Dick, Frank DiGiacomo, Phyllis Diller, Susie Essman, Carrie Fisher, Joe Franklin, Mike George, Todd Glass, Whoopi Goldberg, Judy Gold, Eddie Gorodetsky, Gilbert Gottfried, Dana Gould, Allan Havey, Eric Idle, Dom Irrera, Eddie Izzard, Richard Jeni, Penn Jillette, Jake Johannsen, Alan Kirschenbaum, Jay Kogen, Sue Kolinsky, Paul Krassner, Cathy Ladman, Lisa Lampanelli, Richard Lewis, Wendy Liebman, Bill Maher, Howie Mandel, Merrill Markoe, Jay Marshall, Jackie Martling, Chuck McCann, Michael McKean, Eric Mead, Larry Miller, Owen Morse, Martin Mull, Kevin Nealon, Taylor Negron, Rick Overton, Gary Owens, Trey Parker, Otto Peterson, Emo Philips, Peter Pitofsky, Kevin Pollak, Paul Reiser, Andy Richter, Don Rickles, Chris Rock, Gregg Rogell, Jeffrey Ross, Jon Ross, Rita Rudner, Bob Saget, T. Sean Shannon, Harry Shearer, Sarah Silverman, Bobby Slayton, Dick Smothers, Tom Smothers, Carrie Snow, Doug Stanhope, David Steinberg, Jon Stewart, Matt Stone, Larry Storch, Rip Taylor, Teller, The Amazing Johnathan, Dave Thomas, Johnny Thompson, Scott 'Carrot Top' Thompson, Peter Tilden, Bruce Vilanch, Jonathan Wee, Fred Willard, Robin Williams, Steven Wright as themselves.
The Aristocrats is a film that reveals a joke that has been shared among comics since Vaudeville. The joke started as a very tame risque joke. However, comedians throughout the years have turned it into the dirtiest joke in the world. This film is about the various renditions of the joke as told by the current great comedians.
The original joke:
A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."
The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
This is where everyone tells their version of the act
For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"
And the father says, The Aristocrats!
If you like comedy, then this film will allow you to see the very raunchy side of your favorite comedian.
I give it 5 out of 5 fruits, fiber, and vegetables:
1/31/2005
Very_Little_Time produced by / directed by / written by / edited by / sound by and starring Todd and Tim Wynn as Ryan Telnifer.
Very_Little_Time is an independent film created by two brothers (not twins). I found the film interesting and fresh. It is not Hollywood blockbuster movie making, but it is as good as most Art House releases I have seen. I encourage every would be film maker to purchase this film from their site. They have set a high standard for independent film making with no budget. The way to see this film is to watch the DVD, then watch it again with the commentary. It is a great lesson in film making, and an inspiration to everyone who ever wanted to make a film. I wish there was another dvd with How we made this film
Very_Little_Time is a film about Ryan Telnifer, a person with the ideal job, a product tester. We are taken to his world of daily in home testing. He also does outdoor testing and it is during this time that a discovery would alter his lives. He discovers a tool box buried in the ground. As he returns to investigate the strange locked box, he receives an instant message warning him, "Do NOT open the box!" Of course, no one can resist that mystery. He takes the box to the meadow where he uncovered it, opens it, and throws the switch. He becomes dizzy and falls to the ground. He later awakens, closes the box and returns home. The remainder of the film takes us on a journey of how the tool box effects the lives of Ryan Telnifer.
I give it 4 out of 5 alarm watches: 