RESOURCES FOR FORMER MEMBERS OF RESTRICTIVE RELIGIOUS GROUPS
By Jim Moyers, MA, MFT
A Note to Believers: In this and other pages on this site it is not my intention to attack any religious organization or the beliefs of anyone who is satisfied with her or his current religious experience. My aim is rather to reach people who, like myself, have for whatever reason found their former beliefs inadequate. My own experience of shattered faith would have been much less difficult had I known that others had gone through something similar. It is my hope that sharing what I have learned will help make things a little easier for others who have also "left the fold."
Religion is fraught with controversy. One religion's absolute truth is utter falsehood to another. Innovators and reformers are viewed with suspicion by the guardians of orthodoxy while those who claim to have received new light or recovered forgotten truth view the religious establishment as overly dogmatic, oppressive, and corrupt. Of such are schisms and religious wars made.
From a historical standpoint it is apparent that many, if not all, orthodox religions were once themselves heterodox. Christianity, for instance began as a Jewish cult that, over the course of a few hundred years, grew far beyond its origins to become the established religion of the late Roman Empire. We tend to forget this amidst ominous warnings about "cults," an imprecise term that popularly serves to denote any religiously based group that deviates from orthodox norms.
However, as anyone who has paid much attention to the news over the last few decades knows, there are groups that abuse, and too often destroy people in the name of religious and spiritual truth. There is good reason to be cautious when dealing with any movement, religious or not, that revolves around the personality of an idealized leader, claims a special "truth," and especially one that cuts itself off from the outside world. It has been repeatedly, sometimes tragically demonstrated that isolation from the cross-fertilizing and moderating effects of the larger society tends to result in derangement of some degree in groups as well as individuals.
But is there really a clear, objectively definable line between groups that misuse the human impulse towards transcendence and socially acceptable religious practice? Early Christianity, which was viewed with alarm by the orthodoxy of the time, was centered around the personality of its founder, claimed to be the only true religion, and urged believers to radically seperate themselves from the world in which they lived. These traits can also be found to varying degrees in contemporary established conservative religions of all types. While I have reservations about the concept of "mind control" used by many anti-cult activists, any teaching that urges the suspension of individual judgment and critical thought makes me uneasy. Still, it is difficult to deny the fact that most conservative religions do this to some degree.
People are very deeply affected, in positive as well as negative ways, by intense involvement in any tightly constructed belief system. Some find membership in such groups to be very meaningful and personally rewarding. There is a great deal of comfort in "knowing" that one has access to sure truth. Where a skeptic might see denial, the believer is apt to experience a deeply felt faith which, I believe, should be respected as such. I have no interest in trying to undermine anyone's faith, no mater how much it may deviate from mine.
But there are other people who, like myself in my experience as a former Seventh-day Adventist, at some point find it impossible to continue an involvement with a restrictive group or church which had previously seemed to be the epitome of spiritual truth. Some seemingly simply walk away with never a backwards glance. Others appear to be forever marked by the failure of a set of beliefs that once represented absolute truth. The shattering of their faith continues to painfully haunt them long after the time of its collapse.
One of the most effective ways of dealing with a difficult loss is to share the experience with others who have gone through something similar. But people who leave a restrictive religious group are often very isolated by the nature of their experience. Family members and friends still involved with the group are not likely to be supportive, and ex-members may have few social contacts who are not members of the group. Even if new friends are made, people with no comparable experience generally have little understanding of the difficulties involved in leaving a restrictive group or the degree to which group membership continues to have an impact long past the time of leaving. Even professional helpers, like psychotherapists and clergy, may not grasp the significance of group membership and the process of leaving. It can be a very lonely experience.
But the internet now makes it possible to connect with people all over the world who share a similar experience. The links below are only a small sampling, reflective of my particular interests, of the many resources and information available on restrictive religious groups. Many sites have a place for discussion and sharing experiences along with links to similar sites.
The anti-cult sites in particular have a wealth of information on all sorts of groups. If the group in which you are interested is not listed, try the more general sites and use a search engine to locate other sites. Sites on other groups may well be helpful as the similarity of experience with a restrictive group regardless of outward differences is often quite startling, especially if you have had the notion that your group was unique. You are not alone after all!
© 1999 James C. Moyers - May be copied and distributed with author and source citation.
Please feel free to contact me:
Jim Moyers, MA, MFT
2424 Dwight Way, #1
Berkeley, CA, 94704 USA
(510) 843-2424
As has been often noted, quality of the material available on the web is variable. While I don't necessarily agree with everything on all of the following sites and have reservations about the tone of some, they offer a lot of information. Remember that the course of internet searching, as in "real" life, is often anything but direct. The internet is continually changing. While I try to periodically check this list, some of the following sites may no longer be active, but you may discover other useful sources of information. Stay open to possibilities, follow your curiosity, and enjoy exploring! Explore the links that most of the following sites provide. Remember, you don't have to restrict yourself anymore!
There are also links to other religious/spiritual sites on my home page along with information about my psychotherapy practice.
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Updated 2/16/08