With each mile that Andrea had sped from the city, the more of a load had dropped from her. She left behind all of the family complications, all of the business problems, all of her past that had weighted her down for so long. Now, as she unpacked her bags in a strange hotel in a strange city, she felt that she was a new person. No, not a new one, just one that she had locked away a very long time ago. The almost suicidal depression that had prompted both her doctor and her administrative assistant to insist that she take a real vacation was still a dull ache in the back of her mind. But along with the vestige of pain, there was a new excitement and expectation that she hadn't felt in years.

She took out the white silk pantsuit that she had bought for the trip. It seemed as though all she ever wore at home was gray: gray business suites to match her gray life. She put on the pantsuit feeling a bit self-conscious, but she liked the way it looked and felt. It made her feel sensuous, a feeling she hadn't experienced in a long time. With her new short hair cut, she looked very different from the corporate CEO she had left behind. Her hair had started turning white when she was twenty-seven, and now, at forty-six, she was completely silver. But instead of making her look old, it made her look strikingly ageless. She was thin, almost gaunt; but then she often forgot to eat. Her cheekbones were stark in her face, her eyes dark and hooded, but her mouth was kind betraying the only hint of emotion she normally allowed herself.

She started to leave the room, but then sat down and pulled out the phone book. After a few moments, she laughed at herself: it's well and good to make a decision to come out of the closet, but they don't list lesbian bars and restaurants by category in the phone book. She shook her head. Here she was the great cooperate planner, and she hadn't even considered the problem. If she had stayed in New York, she would have known where to look. But then, if she had stayed home, she wouldn't have had the courage to go to a lesbian establishment. For a minute, the old depression threatened to overwhelm her, but then she remembered the young man at the check-in counter who had been subtly flirting with a male guest.

Andrea was relieved to find him still working, and, collecting her aplomb she approached the desk. "Excuse me, I wonder if you could recommend some restaurants or bars, perhaps a club?"

"Well, we do have a dinning guide, Ms" He said reaching for a booklet on the counter.

"Ah, no. I had something more specific in mind. Places where a woman might go to meet another woman."

The young man looked surprised for a moment. "If you'd have a seat, I'll make a few calls and get back to you."

"Thank you."

It was only a few minutes later that the desk clerk came to find Andrea. He handed her a short list of restaurants and bars. "A friend of mine gave me these suggestions. I can't vouch for any of the bars since I myself wouldn't be interested in going to them."

"No, of course not" smiled Andrea.

"I have eaten at the "Sage Pot", and it's a very good vegetarian restaurant. And the "Deep End" is a sea food restaurant."

"Thank you very much, Mr. Tate," said Andrea reading his nametag. She offered him a tip, but he held up his hand.

"Enjoy your stay with us, and if I can be of any other service to you, please let me know".

********

Andrea had eaten at the Sage Pot, which was as good as the clerk had suggested. She had felt more relaxed then she had in years just being surrounded by all the same sexed couples. Now she took a deep breath before entering the first lesbian bar she had ever been to in her life. Mr. Tate had thoughtfully made some notations next to the names, and she had chosen the one labeled "quite, relaxed atmosphere". The lighting was dim, but then most bars were. And the music was soft; some woman with a smoky kind of voice was singing. Andrea tastes in music seemed to have jelled when she was a teenager: she liked classical music, but of "modern" music, she liked the folk songs she had grown up with. But she didn't really care as long as she didn't have to listen to loud rock music.

She took a seat at the bar, and smiled her greeting to the bar tender. She was surprised to see a very fine brandy behind the bar. Somehow she hadn't expected them to be able to cater to such an expensive taste, but she chided herself for being a snob.

"Can I get you anything?"

"Can you bring me a bottle of the Armatage?" she asked.

The bartenders eyebrows rose, but she brought back a fresh bottle and a large balloon glass. @@"My name's Maggie. I haven't seen you here before."

"I'm Andy", she answered using the nickname only her father had used before. "I just arrived in town this afternoon."

"Are you here on a business trip?"

"No, I'm on vacation."

"I'm curious, how did you find us?"

"I asked one of the clerks at the hotel. He did a little research for me."

"A resourceful women."

Andy only smiled in response. As Maggie turned to serve another customer, Andy turned to survey the rest of the room. There were half a dozen couples sitting at various tables, and two or three couples were dancing. A scattering of singles was dotted along the bar. Andy just sat enjoying the view for a while, for the first time since high school letting her eyes linger on the lovely contours of the women's bodies. She swirled the fine brandy in the glass and took a small sip. She felt the tension leave her shoulders and felt truly relaxed and at home.

One or two women flirted with her with their eyes, but she didn't know what to say to them. She found herself struck dumb with shyness. She felt awkward among all of these self-assured younger women, and for a while she avoided eye contact by looking down into the amber swirls of her drink. Just how did one pick someone up in a bar? Maybe she should have asked her assistant for pointers; although the women would have probably fainted from shock. Andy had spent so many years making herself sexless, she didn't think anyone who knew her would believe that she might actually have some erotic feelings left in her. She supposed that she looked too butch for anyone to try to pick her up. Or was that an out of date concept?

From time to time, Andy had avidly read books written by women for women. But none of her readings, research, prepared her for tonight. She smiled at herself: how many times had she chided her staff about the difference between theoretical and practical knowledge?

She turned her head at the sound of the opening door and was rewarded with the view of three lovely women who seemed to be continuing a celebration started elsewhere. They took a table near the far end of the room and greeted the bartender by name when she went over to say hello and take their orders. "Let's see" thought Andy, "who belongs with whom? Or maybe they are all involved together." One woman in particular struck Andy. Her body in no way fit the cultural norm for beauty. There was no way to describe her but fat, but oh how her body was sculpted from that abundant flesh. Her breasts were only hinted at under the loose sweater she wore, but her tight jeans emphasized the glorious curves of her hips and belly. Her face was framed with softly curling dark hair. Her cheeks were round and dimpled and her mouth a perfect cupidÕs bow. Andy could only imagine the softness of her body. She closed her eyes and imagined what it would be like to lay cradled upon such a soft, warm cloud of of a woman.

Andy opened her eyes and sipped her drink trying to dispel the tide of lust that was threatening to erupt from her core. She took several deep breaths to bring herself under control. No one had ever had that effect on her before. She really hoped that the young woman was not attached. She watched covertly as the women talked and laughed. When the two other women got up to dance, Andy decided that they must be the couple since she couldn't imagine anyone dancing that close together who was not intimate with each other. Andy tried to get up the courage to go over and ask the other women to dance, but she just could not find that words. "Great", she thought, "I've edited and publish thousands of books, and I can't find any words." And then it was too late: the young womanÕs friends had returned, and she was getting up to dance with one of them.

Andy watched her with a growing want for the next hour. She drank more brandy than she was accustomed to, and felt light- headed. She kept making plans on how to approach, but always found too many flaws. "And besides," she thought, "I'm too old for her". Her latest plan was to intercept the young women as she came back from the restroom. This time she even rose. After all, she could just walk by and use the toilet herself.

There had been three or four women dressed in leather and chains sitting at one of the tables. They had seemed out of place to Andy, but they knew Maggie and had been quietly playing scrabble of all things. As she watched, one of them went up to the young women and started asking her to dance. The young women shook her head "no" and started to walk around, but the other women grabbed her arm and started to pull her into an embrace. Andy moved quickly and without thought. She was standing in back of the women in an instant, her hand on her elbow.

"The young lady said no."

"What is it any of your business?"

Andy pressed hard on the exposed nerves in the women's funny bone and brought tears to her eyes. "She has already promised this dance to me." She replied. By then Maggie had arrived and was escorting the women out of the bar.

"Thanks for the rescue."

All of Andy's assurance deserted her as quickly as it had come. "Ah...your welcome. I'll....I'll let you get back to your friends."

"But I thought that I had already promised this dance to you."

"You don't have to."

"I want to."

For a moment Andy panicked; she didn't know any modern dances. But she noticed that the women around her weren't doing anything more complicated than holding each other and swaying in soft steps to the music. Her new acquaintance stepped into her arms, and for a while, they danced in silence. Andy relished the softness of the young womanÕs body and the soft fragrance of her hair. She wanted to pull her closer, but refrained unsure of what came next. For the moment she just wanted to enjoy the closeness.

"My name is Melanie."

"I'm Andrea, uh Andy. I noticed you with your friends?"

"Yes, we've know each other for twelve years. TheyÕre celebrating their fourteenth anniversary tonight. I thought I'd be in the way, but they wanted me to be here."

"They look very happy together."

"They are indecently happy. I love them both, and I'm so glad that they have each other. But I have to admit to being a bit envious."

"I take it that you...youÕre not involved with anyone?"

"No, not right now. How about you?"

"Not for a very long time."

"How long have you been in town?"

"Just since this afternoon. I'm on vacation."

"Why did you choose Boston for a vacation? There are many more exotic spots."

"I'm not sure. Maybe because I knew I wouldn't run into any of my family here this time of year."

Melanie wasn't sure what to make of the last remark. When the dance ended, she invited Andy back to meet her friends. Now that Andy felt more comfortable, her gift for speech returned. It didn't take her long to get Melanie's friends to tell her about themselves. She had always had this gift: to put people completely at ease and to make them feel as if they were the most interesting people in the world. Melanie's friends, Jean and Danny were charmed. Jean was an associate professor of women's studies at Boston University and Danny was co-owner of a feminist bookshop. And Melanie herself was an artist.

Melanie and Andy danced together three or four more times, and each time they held each other closer. Andy was intoxicated by the sensation of having such a lovely women in her arms. For a moment she lost all sense of where she was and leaned down and kissed her. She started to pull away in confusion when she realized that they were in a public place, but Melanie pressed closer opening her lips in welcome. When they finally broke from the kiss, they looked into each otherÕs eyes and read the desire there.

It came as a shock when Jean came over to say that she and Danny wanted to head home. Andy and Melanie had been so engrossed with each other that they had forgotten that they were not alone.

"Do you want to leave with your friends". Andy asked.

"I'm sure at this point I really would be in the way."

Melanie went to hug and kiss her friends good night. Andy repeated her congratulations for their anniversary, and then they were alone together. They resumed dancing. Andy felt a deep throb of wanting, but she wasn't sure how to ask Melanie if she wanted to come back to her hotel. She didn't want to make the night seem cheap or planned. She wasn't sure what she had expected of this night. Perhaps she had fantasized about "getting laid'-- did women even use that term? But she hadn't expected anyone like Melanie. Even now, with just a few hours acquaintance, she knew she wanted more than a one night stand from this woman. So, for a while they just danced, savoring each other's bodies and warmth.

Andy had just made the decision to ask Melanie to have dinner the following night when Melanie asked her if she would like to come out to see her studio. The only answer was yes. They finished their dance and then said good night to Maggie.

"I have a car over here." offered Andy.

"Are you sure you should be driving after drinking that brandy?"

"No, your right I shouldn't be. Can we get a cab somewhere near here?"

"Sure. The house is out at the beach south of the city. I'm afraid it's a bit of a ride."

"It sounds like a good place for an artist to live."

"It's not really mine. It belongs to friend who is working in Japan for a couple of years. He lent it to me with the provision that I care for his plants and tropical fish."

"He?" Andy asked with raised eyebrows.

"Why yes. Some of my best friends are men."

The cab driver didn't want to take them so far outside of the city at that time of night, but Andy offered to pay his way back, so he demurred. Andy found herself sitting with her arm around Melanie. When Melanie first kissed her, she was a little embarrassed sure that the driver could see them. But shortly she forgot that there was anyone else in the car with them. There seemed to be an infinite verity of tastes and textures to Melanie's mouth and lips. She explored gently with her tongue tasting as far a field as Melanie's eyelids and the hollow of her neck. She lost herself completely in the young woman in her arms. When they finally arrived at the house, they were jolted out of their private reality for the second time that night. The cabby was pleased with the tip Andy gave him, and even wished them a pleasant night, but the women were oblivious to anything but each other.

The house was set back from the road a bit, and, like many beach houses, it was built up on stilts embedded in the sand. There was a generous deck extending around the beach side with a flight of stairs leading down. The road was higher than the beach, so that you could enter the house from almost ground level on that side. They slipped in the door, and as Melanie's hand reached for the light, Andy arrested it. She took Melanie in her arms and pressed her close reaching down to squeeze her ass and pulling her hips into her own.

"Can I see your studio in the morning?"

Melanie laughed in response. "Yes, the light is better then." She slipped out of Andy's arms, but taking her hand, led her to the bedroom. The drapes were open, and for a while, both women stopped to look at the ocean.

The moon painted a mesmerizing pattern on the waves flickering in silver highlights and dark shadows. The tide was going out, and where the sand was wet, each grain shimmered with it's own luminescence. Some one had left a trail of foot prints just below the high tide mark, and each impression formed a pool of black rimmed by a silver necklace. Halfway to the horizon, a sail boat road at anchor casting a long shadow and swaying gently on its glittering bed. There were wispy clouds behind which the stars were playing hide and seek. A gauze curtain would pull apart to reveal a glittering tapestry of pinpoint diamonds. The next moment, the shroud would be replaced and the moon had sole dominion of the sky: Her strength was greater then that of any of the vapor trails scudding below.

Andy gently stroked Melanie's hair feeling the softness on her sensitized fingers. They turned away together, and stood for a moment just gazing at each other. Melanie reached first for the buttons of Andy's shirt sliding her fingers down the cool silk, slipping each button from its hole. She ran her hands over AndyÕs shoulders and down her arms caressing the short off of AndyÕs body. Then she reached behind to undo the bra.

Andy, being a bit more impatient, slipped her hands under Melanie's sweater, and cupped the breasts that had only been hinted at under the loose garment. They fit her palms perfectly, and she sighed with pleasure.

Melanie turned her face up to be kissed, and Andy happily complied. She teased her new lover's lips with her tongue before slipping in to caress her palette. Her hands squeezed gently, and she felt Melanie's nipples begin to harden. Then she gasped as the other women brought her hands around to caress and squeeze AndyÕs breasts. Andy slipped MelanieÕs sweater over her head and quickly removed her bra. Then her hands went to the waistband of her jeans to find the button, the zipper. She caressed down Melanie's hips and thighs as she removed the garment, and then made a second trip as the panties followed.

The naked women stood before her illuminated only by the gentle light of the moon. Her silhouette was limed in silver and her lovely ripe breasts cast soft shadows. Andy began to explore with her fingertips, tracing both cheeks and cresting her nose with her forefingers. She savored the gentle softness of her lips with both her thumbs, and then stroked along her chin, down her throat to her shoulders. Then she gently pushed her back against the bed. Melanie lay watching her as Andy quickly took of her own pants. She felt the artist's eyes caressing her with their appreciation of form.

Andy knelt astride her lover on the bed, and arched over her to kiss her, but Melanie duck her head to reach Andy's breasts instead. She sucked one nipple, and stroked the other with her thumb. Andy gasped and lowered herself more to press her breast harder against her lover's face. Melanie sucked harder drawing in more of the breast until the entire areola was in her mouth, and smiled when she heard Andy groan. Then she bit down hard enough for Andy to start. Andy laughed and presented her other breast to Melanie's mouth. @@ Andy decided it was her turn, and she moved down along her new lover to find her full breasts. She caressed and teased each nipple with her tongue making sounds of pleasure in her throat. She relished the incredible softness with her hands while savoring the hard nipples with her mouth. She used her tongue to trace down to Melanie's tangle of hair, and for a moment rested her cheek against the soft, tight curls. It had been more than thirty years since she had last slept with a women, and even then, she had not been the aggressor. She wanted to please the young women beneath her, but she wasn't sure if she knew how.

She began stroking the smooth flesh of the inside of Melanie's thighs, and she could feel the bands of muscle under a softening layer. Andy pressed Melanie's legs further apart until the lips of her labia opened. She was fascinated by the colors and textures as she gently stroked her fingers along each surface. She had once examined herself with a mirror, but she hadn't imagined that there could be such variety among women. She leaned forward and experimentally licked from back to front enjoying the taste. When Melanie gasped and thrust up against her mouth, Andy began stroking her clit faster and faster. The younger women's breathing came in gasps and her hips started rocking in time to Andy's flicking tongue. Andy tentatively slipped two fingers into Melanie, and was rewarded with a new surge of wetness. She began thrusting in time to her flicking tongue. She loved the feeling of the constricting muscles closing on her fingers. Melanie surged up against her, and then her body tensed in orgasm shuddering for long seconds until she stilled with a deep sigh.

Andy's own need was becoming insistent. She mounted Melanie as her own high school lover had done to her and began thrusting her hips. She strained harder and harder against the younger women, but although her excitement grew, she could not cum. Finally she stilled and moved to one side. She hid her face in the pillow so that Melanie couldn't see the tears pricking her eyes. "I guess I'm just frigid after all." she thought. She had been so sure that this was what she had missed in all of those years of fruitless marriage and prolonged celibacy. But there didn't seem to be any release here either. She had so enjoyed Melanie's body. Perhaps that was all she could hope for or expect: the excitement of making another women cum as she could not herself. But she could not stop the tears at her sense of loss.

"Turn over on your stomach," Melanie commanded.

Andy complied not knowing what to expect. She tried to keep her shoulders from heaving; she did want Melanie to know she was crying. Melanie began massaging her back working the tension out of her shoulders with her strong hands. She could feel the knots in Andy's back and neck, and she spent a long time kneading the muscles. When she felt Andy relax, she began working her way down Andy's spine her thumbs moving in swirls. She began kissing and biting Andy's shoulders, and she smiled when she felt her lover tremble.

When she came to Andy's ass, she squeezed both cheeks, pulling and pushing them apart and together. She felt Andy jump when she touch the sensitive back of her thighs, so she stopped and began softly kissing and licking the smooth flesh. Andy was quivering with a different kind of tension now, so Melanie slipped her fingers under and in. Andy gasped at the incredible electric sensation; her clit was throbbing, but she had never been able to cum that way--not with someone inside her. Melanie thrust gently, but didn't feel the response in Andy she expected, so she removed her slick fingers and reached further unit she was drawing her fingers back and forth Andy's slit to her clit. Now Andy's hips were moving and she was crying out in time to Melanie's thrusts. Melanie began to concentrate on the most sensitive spot, and Andy screamed out her ecstasy. Andy's back arched in orgasm. She came slowly and in waves and with a surge of wetness she had never experienced before.

Andy could feel her heart pounding and her breathing took a long time to slow. When she became aware of her surrounds again, she could feel Melanie's soft body covering her like a blanket, her breasts pressing against the small of her back. She smiled at the sensation of the soft kisses Melanie was placing along her shoulder blades.

"Thank you my dear." Andy began to turn, and Melanie obliged her by moving to one side.

"Andy, can I ask you. Is this the first time you've been with a women?"

"Was I that clumsy?"

"No," Melanie smiled, "but it was so hard for you...."

"Your the first women I've been with since my high school sweet heart thirty years ago."

"Thirty years! Why? I mean if you knew then......why?"

"I was a sophomore, and she was two years older than me. One afternoon, she seduced me, and for three glorious months, we were lovers."

"And?"

"And then I went home for the summer. She had graduated, but we had plans. I was going to spend part of the holidays at her house. It's strange; I had heard my father making comments about homosexuals for years, but they never meant anything to me. But when I got home that summer, I realized that he was talking about me. He didn't think homosexuality was amoral, just, just that gays were mentally ill and should be required to undergo treatment. I couldn't.... I couldn't disappoint him like that."

"He meant so much to you?"

"He was my whole world. My mother was only interested in my older sister who was turning out to be a clone of her. It's my father who had always listened to my dreams and my plans. He's the one who encouraged me; who skipped meetings when I had a show. I loved him, and I couldn't face being something he found sick. So I told myself I would never engage in that disgusting behavior again."

"And you kept that pledge for thirty years. What happened now? Why did you change your mind now?"

"I've known he was wrong for a lot of years now. At least I've known it intellectually. But I got so entrenched in the lie, in the life that I made for myself. After my husband died, everybody assumed that I didn't start seeing anyone again because I couldn't even think of replacing him. The great love story--the great lie."

"I take it wasn't a great marriage?"

"Oh in some ways, it was perfect. He wasn't much more interested in sex than I was. We got along well enough. He didn't interfere with my work or interests, and I didn't with his. But when we needed to, we could put on a great show of the quietly devoted couple. I never even realized how false our life was until he was dead. I did miss him a bit, but mostly I was relieved that I didn't have to pretend anymore."

"How long ago did he die?"

"Almost ten years ago. I guess it took some time for me to find the courage to come the rest of the way."

"And what was tonight then? Your official premiere as a dyke?"

"Something like that. I'm not sure what I expected. I guess I had day dreams when I was planning this trip of meeting a beautiful women and spending the night having glorious sex."

"Do I meet your exceptions?" Melanie asked amused.

"You...you are so incredible. I never dreamed of someone like you."

"Well maybe we should work on the second part of that daydream: you know that part about spending the whole night having glorious sex."

Andy laughed, "Well I'm certainly willing to give it a try if you are."

"I have to warn you, I do have an ulterior motive. I want your body."

"My body? But you already have it."

"No. Starting tomorrow, you are going to pose for me. Agreed?"

Andy blushed hotly glad that Melanie couldnÕt see in the darkened bedroom. Then she took a deep breath. "Well, that depends? How do you pay your modeling fees?"