OK, I did it. Has anyone else?
"Did what?" you may ask.
A really stupid thing. I had a crash driving my new (I got it April 11th) Jazzy 1170XL, Candy Apple Red machine I named Chairzilla.
On a Friday night recently after listening to live music at a local bookstore/coffee-house, we took the band and a friend of ours across the street to a nice restaurant for a bite to eat. After the band had gone it was just my partner and our friend. We decided to leave, also.
Our friend had not seen my new Jazzy, so I took the opportunity to demonstrate all its fine features - headlights, turn signals, emergency flashers, power-lift seat, turn radius, and the E-ticket known as: maximum turn rate! (Spinning on its axis, in place, like a carnival ride.) Wowza. She was impressed.
And then my partner said something like, "It's real zippy, too."
It was well past midnight and the parking lot was virtually empty. I saw only a flat, inviting place. I cranked it up to 5 and took off across the wide open spaces at full forward. As Kahn, in Star Trek II, The Wrath of Kahn, said, "Ramming speed!"
It was at that moment that my, normally good, judgement took its leave, taking my common sense with it.
I figured if Chairzilla had looked fast going away, it would look even faster going past my friend. So, as the lot was void of cars that late at night, I decided, in my state of diminished wisdom, to make a wide sweeping 270-degree turn and "Pass in review."
I temporarily forgot that 3 weeks previously I had done some reprogramming of the control, and I was not really pleased with the turning acceleration and speed. And I had not ventured into the #5 step but for a few minutes since the reprogramming. I was not confident in my abilities to exert control, to turn at high forward speed. I certainly wasn't practiced at doing the same.
To make a long story short, as I began the turn my wisdom, caution, judgement and common sense returned.
I decided to abort that foolishness and I released the joystick (*Note - "Joystick" is such a funny name for this device which brought me no joy). Fortunately, it did not stick me, either.
But it was too late. Chairzilla began what is called in the aviation business a "wind-up-turn" where the rate of turn increases as time passes.
One of my programming changes had been to decrease the deceleration. This meant that Chairzilla kept doing what it was doing when the joystick was released for, oh, one to three seconds.
It was accelerating and turning. Perhaps it was the added weight of my wisdom, caution, judgement and common sense returning, but, somehow i doubt it. This is where the "tip" part comes in. I tipped over. Or rather, Chairzilla tipped over, and being a good WCJ I had my restraining device (seat belt) securely fastened.
I landed on the tire, which protrudes a half inch from the shell, and the armrest support. At the moment I hit the pavement I had no forward speed and my turning velocity had dwindled to nothing as it had translated to the moment of inertia that had been keeping me upright.
No damage or even a scratch to Chairzilla. I fared pretty well, removing only one or two layers of skin on my elbow and hyper-extending my left shoulder a little.
So my tip - practice before you do something stupid. Practice grinning, and saying, "I'm OK," with a straight face.
And always wear your seat belt.
Oh, one last thing, keep your will up-to-date. And keep your "won't" handy and use it!